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Thread: Help please! (new to stripping)

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    Arrow Help please! (new to stripping)

    Hello I'm new to this forum..
    this is not to get any sympathy or anything like that..

    I am getting kicked out of my house feb12...I worked as a coat check in the city and my hours have been cut drastically. (my first check was 513 the last two have been 50 bucks each!)

    I went to chateau cabaret to an open house last thursday for a waitressing job. There were a few girls there and as soon as I walked in the house mom went straight to me to ask me what I'm there for etc.

    She asked if I'd like to be a go-go dancer I thought "O thats cute I guess..sure" then she asked if I would like to be an actual dancer. I felt uneasy about that but then she showed me around the rooms and we had a talk upstairs in the dressing room. I am very petite and have small breast (34 A) and was concerned about being right for a stripper. She told me that men love women of all sizes and that I have an exotic look and she walked passed the other girls and went straight to me for a reason. She has to pass my picture to the owner and he will make the final say. I have been thinking about being a dancer since then the past few days and I have thought of it before. I need to make at least a grand by feb 12th. I think that dancing is my only option. I am over 21 and I currently go to school during the day (that is taken care of by financial aid so I dont have to worry about that) I do however need to get out of here by feb 12 and I already know who I would roomate with as we will split the rent.

    I dont think dancing is a bad thing and after I thought alot about it its my buisness. No one has to know and as long as I am not having sex, exposing my vagina I am ok with that. I have a audition tomorrow at Lace in manhattan. I dont really have heels not the kind that are open toe just patent leather pumps. I also dont have dresses not the gowns they care for anyways and I know have to wear a dress. I have 50 bucks to my name right now. (ugh i know) but I am determinded to make this right. I guess I will go to a cheapo store tomorrow and see if there is a cheapo dress I can buy. As for a thong I decided to wear a lacy short of purple and blue thong set I have with matching bra..Its pretty and looks good with my skin color.

    I am of mixed race ive been told I look "exotic" i do have some scars due to my teen years on my butt n stuff but I plan on covering that with a lil makeup. I also have tattoos (a half sleeve on my right arm..and a heart on my tummy and wrist) I asked about them and he said as long as they are tasteful its ok.

    anyways. what should i expect to do?

    And again I have to leave my house by the 12th.
    Not only because I have to but also because it will be for my well being. The negative energy here with me and my parents is causing havok on my happyness and I deserve to be happy. I just want to be a functioning adult with my own place that I can relax in and be happy in.

    I also am going to go to flashdance on tuesday for another audition after 9.

    Does this goal seem possible?
    I just need some advice a little encouragement even. I am stuck and very lost. However I am not sad or letting this get to me. I am looking at this as the first time I really have to prove to myself that I am a survivor and that I can do this. I keep telling myself that. I will make it and I will make it without bumming at someones house or being homeless. With a positive attitude I am going to defeat this.

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    Featured Member pixierocksonthepole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    You are correct, with a positive attitude you will make it. It can and most likely will, make you very nervous when you start. Just get as much info from the clubs you are trying out at as possible. Like what time you should be there, when you are done with your shift, wheat kind of clothing is okay and what is against their rules. That includes the shoes. And be as relaxed as possible when you start, if your tummy gets butterflies thats normal but if you feel sick...take it easy. You might want to look up some videos on floorwork to do on stage or things like that to try somethings that may work for your body best. And most of all, keep your head up and smile. Confidence is sexy, and the key to success.

    Good Luck!!





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    Curious Guest Dr Dancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    Ok...

    First of all, dancing is VERY hard to do when you are DESPERATE for the money....
    Mainly because it’s obvious to the customers that you need the money... and they don’t want to think about you needing money... they are there to forget problems...they are there to participate in what I call “fake dating” because THIS is essentially the fundamentals of what a stripper does.

    The other reason it is very hard is because when you are desperate for the money... it makes it very hard to bounce back from obnoxious and horrible customers that WILL say horrible things to you.. or even just little digs that eat away at you. You have to be very sure about HOW you plan to handle this. How you plan to handle your emotions when you DONT make much one night...
    Or when they are rude and sexist and derogatory to you. Are you the kind of girl that can grin and bear it... not let it affect you that they think you are nothing compared to them? Or are you the type that needs to defend her rights and stand up for yourself and have difficulty walking away having people think the worst of you.

    If you are the second one then you need to think about where that “line” will be for you... where you will say...nope... that’s enough, if I stay any longer Im going to get upset. Im just going to have to accept that while this guy or this group may have money... its not for me.. its not WORTH IT! They will ruin me for other possible customers.

    If you are this girl you will eventually be able to SPOT these customers very quickly and avoid them. Unfortunately this will mean that some nights you will have no one left in the crowd and you have to learn to deal with that in your own way. As in...”I may have made no money but it was MY choice and Im ok with that.” I mention this because customers mean and can affect you much easier when you are a; new and b; desperate...
    Now this is easier said than done when you aren’t DESPERATE... now... I have danced desperate... and I can’t say I would recommend it.

    So you have two choices...

    1. You have to find a place in yourself, a game, a role a character that you can play that helps you put up and get through these types of guys/dances without it really getting to you, if but through gritted teeth. At first you may find this “character” or place hard to find because you are just being you... at first its hard to be anyone else but a flirtier version than you cause its all new. May I suggest... trying mysterious, instead of reacting to their cracks or being affected by it, make your answers vague and hard to translate, making you feel like you still have some power in the essentially powerless situation. Ie
    You have hinted for a personal dance, guy says “Yeah but how do I know Im going to get my moneys worth? Cant I have a sample or something” (laughs with his mates at your expense)

    You Reply: “Thats the excitement of life isn’t it though? The rush of the unknown. I know your brave enough to chance it, so let go have a bit of a thrill together”....
    As opposed to what you really want to say
    “Mother f^&*#$....!!! @#&*@&&@*@#&**@#!!!!”

    As a side note, may I recommend that in the beginning you try to target guys on their own... they can take longer to get around to getting a dance but it will help you build you confidence up for those group interactions. Its easier to handle bad comments if its only you and him to witness it.

    2. Your other option would be try to find a day job, not full time, even just 1 day a week, something that is easy, brings in SOME guaranteed money, even if it just pays for your house fee and your costumes. I think it is very helpful to have at the back of your mind a financial safely net. Do customer service phone stuff, or phone selling, even if you suck at it you may get a week of pay before you quit or they fire you. Try to find something that won’t interfere too much with dancing to help... support you. It will really help you get more confident quicker if you know that each dance is not YOUR LAST HOPE.. I would REALLY recommend this.
    Who cares what the job is or how shitty it is, it could only be for a week, then get a different one the next week. I would recommending finding something just for four weeks maybe, just to help pay for your outfit set up kit and to help you get on your feet.... otherwise you may find yourself going backwards at first...and not forwards. It may only take a week though and you could hit the ground running but just incase...Please PLEASE consider this.

    Now... some other information

    I would recommend you have a lot at this other article I wrote that goes into some other detail about starting out as a dancer and planning for your future and getting ahead and making something of it as you clearly feel you need to do for yourself... well this may be some help in regards to that future:



    Also re your outfits.

    I am assuming you have been to the clubs and seen what the others are wearing? Otherwise I would suggest you try to do that tonight to have an idea about dress code and standards before you go shopping.

    On another notes on outfits:

    Your outfit should be something that YOU feel hot in... because THAT is what they will see, your confidence in your sexuality. You don’t have to wear the same stuff others do, follow your clubs rules but feel free to step outside the norm if necessarily. Its not always about showing everything but about what you show and how you feel about what you show.
    So yes. Stick to what makes you feel amazing. Check out the cheap stores, also, check out clothing stores, large ones with kids sections and look in the kids clothing area..., sometimes you can find a great dress that has a great line that turns in to a mini dress on an adult! Particularly with the fashion for kids today! And heaps cheaper than women’s clothes, at kids prices you will be amazed at what you might find. Take them into the change room with some women’s dresses too so you don’t feel weird. LOL.

    Ok.
    That’s enough from me. I’m sure that many others will have some very valuable advice for you. And please, just look after yourself and pay attention to how you are feeling... acknowledge the difficult times, write about it, accept yourself, forgive yourself, and remember.. its OK to not be the best at this job.... Its not the kind of job that the BEST is the BEST for you... you know what I mean?
    Ok Take care, send me message if you need any support or have other questions.

    Love Dr Dancer

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    Default Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    Hi Eve,


    I work at Chateau Cabaret as apromotional model and I recently started dancing at a bigger club in the city but there's no way I personally could have started in at a big club like Lace or Flashdancers.

    There are a lot of different opportrunities in New York to sort of ease yourself into the adult industry. Based on your concerns about dress and making money I'd recommend a starting at a place I work called Saint Venus theater. Instead of a regular gentlemen's lounge this is a once a week lap dance club hosted in varies clubs around the city. I found it easier to start dancing here because there is no dress code, just boy shorts & a bra is fine for your first night, no stage dancing, no private rooms & pretty consistent earnings - for me around $500 a night.

    I was also very happy that the first gentlemen's lounge I worked at in the city was Chateau because it is very small and has a family-like atmosphere where the owners will take a personally interest in helping you learn the business and the other girls are friendly instead of cut throat. By starting at these places I learned enough and gained enough confidence that I recently started dancing at Sapphire as well but like I said - I never could have just walked in there off the street and had success.

    I'm pretty new to the boards but I think you can message me for us to discuss further if you have questions, otherwise you can just google "Saint Venus Theater" and check out their myspace page for info on how to contact the coordinator if you're interested.

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    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    PrettyDancer is right. Dancing at a premiere gentlemen's club in Manhattan is not for every hot chick that needs money quickly. My club won't consider a girl without experience, but I am not sure about Lace. I am not saying its impossible, but with the additional monetary stress you're under I don't see it being a good idea. I don't think I made any money my first three nights. Although that doesn't have to be the case, it easily could be.
    Especially in these times when the customers are fewer and fewer, and more girls are returning to dancing.

    I don't really know anything about Chateau Cabaret but did you decide not to dance there or something? I still recommend dancing but maybe somewhere without house fees off over $100 and requirements of expensive gowns. Maybe somewhere in Queens or NJ even? I know of a good place right by the lincoln tunnel in NJ that's a bikini club.

    I'm not saying def don't audition for Lace either, but if you're going to do it I wouldn't attempt to buy any type of dress. Just go with a good pair of heels and a legal thong (you can get these for like $8 or so at Empire Exotics across from Rick's on 7th& Broadway). You can borrow anything else from the house mom, if needed. When I auditioned at Lace in NJ years and years ago I def borrowed a dress from the house mom.
    well good luck eve!

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    Default Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    I like your positive attitude, you CAN do anything you put you mind to!

    Kudos to you for finding SW and posting, many curious seekers just lurk on here. Browse the forums, use the search tool for specific topics (some of the best posts are from 2002-2005) and let us know how it goes!
    Rebecca Avalon







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    Thumbs up Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    thank you everyone for your advice!
    I am definetly going to email Saint Venus Theater as soon as I'm done with this post..

    I currently do have a job I mentioned that finding a job is difficult. I am getting kicked out feb 12th so I can't waste time workin and saving up for "materials".

    dealing with the whole atmosphere of the club. I have what my friends joke as a "mans brain" I also am far from sensitive I am actually prepared that there are gonna be a bunch of drunk horny bastards. I also read people well and am a goodo bullshit artist when it comes to men.

    I wont blow a gasket if someone says something wise ass to me. I do standup and plan on being a comedic actress so I plan on using my witt and smarts to the best of my ability. I go to school during the day.

    I know I dont have much experience. But I'm exotic looking I plan on going there really nicely dressed (cute teared dress with a lace sort of jacket over it with a belt around them both so my figure shows and good makeup). I know some clubs want experience but right now I can't sit around being lazy..I have to hustle. While desperation has got me to do this..I also am thinking of it as a way to survive..and prove to myself that i can make!!!

    I have a tough skin...and I have been through alot..includingn surviving death. I am not going to feel sad or feel sorry for myself. I am looking at this as a way to get me on my own..I am going to go to the club and leave whatever happens there...I dont plan on letting this break me. infact its going to make me...independence from my abusive mother..is what I crave. Every night at the club i will tell myself "your doing this to survive and to make ur way"

    thank you everyone once again for your advice i am definetly putting it all into my mind to be more prepared for whats to come

    xoxox

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    Default Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    You do stand up and want to be a comedian? That is awesome! Girls with a good sense of humour can really clean up. I don't know the clubs you are referring to, but I agree with the advice to try a more low key club first. Especially since you don't have tons of time to research and prepare.

    Good luck!

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    Default Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    thnanks!

    Well I know I prob should start out at smaller places..but I'm going to look for those as well. I'm doing an audition today as well as tomorrow (flashdance)

    I have to try..whats the worst thats gonna happen? they will say no..and I will say ok and move on to the next club.

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    Default Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    And be as relaxed as possible when you start, if your tummy gets butterflies thats normal but if you feel sick...take it easy.
    At first, when I started stripping, I was so nervous I was sick.

    But then I realized I get so nervous I get sick whenever I have to go to work no matter what job I'm doing XD

    Goodluck, Eve!

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    Default Re: Help please! (new to stripping)

    so I call to get my schedule for my current job...and aparently I no longer work there?
    I did not know of this I wasnt told. Not only that but the girl who is the day secretary t here talked to me and she was quite a snot...

    ugh whatever I'm taking it with a grain of salt. Tomorrow I sign up for my classes for school; I am going to the village to pick up a cheap dress cos I have my audition at flashdancers @9

    I told my father about this and he reminded me that no matter what the 12th is when I have to leave. I told him no problem. I'm not going to let them win anymore..I'm going to find my way!!

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