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Thread: Shelf Life of a Regular

  1. #51
    Veteran Member cadencetyme's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    ^Touche,lol.

    Hey, If youre selling that game i'll buy it :0)

    But Im not about to over analyze the custies i actually enjoy, hehehe.

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    The ones that are OTC friends approached me with the idea and always made good with the offer. The few gals that have tried to reel me in as a reg by promising OTC and then blowing me off didn't last long on my hit parade of regular dance partners...
    This, times a thousand. Most friendships and business relationships (for lack of a better term) I've made through my SCing adventures have faded, just as in my other walks of life. But the ones that were the most fulfilling were the ones where the roles were clearly defined. If the relationship is strictly drinks & laps in the club, I'm fine with that. If they're willing to meet for dinner or a night on the town), that's great too.

    ETA: The fun and excitement is in the grey areas...but so is the drama and eventually, the conflict.
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by cadencetyme View Post
    ^Touche,lol.

    Hey, If youre selling that game i'll buy it :0)

    But Im not about to over analyze the custies i actually enjoy, hehehe.
    LOL If you buy my game (didnt know I had one) you would be a first

    Seriously, I can see you appreciate your good customers. I would be one who would be more troublesome so that would likely put me into that 3-6 visit period and then kicked to the curb. But what memories I would have.

    FBR
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post

    Btw, I never told other customers about each other. That would be in bad taste.
    Kelly, actually you are missing a selling tool. Speaking for myself and maybe a few other guys here who spend money, it fun to hear you point out the guy who tried to stiff you or the guy who forgot the rules when he walked into the VIP and you had to bitch slap him. Personally, I find those stories not in bad taste but fun to hear. Even though you might talk about me later, it's fun to imagine that I am superior to those goofballs.

    FBR
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    The only reason guys didn't see me more often is that by the 6th (or so) time, I'd have bounced to a different club, and didn't give them my contact information to follow up.
    Well, there you go. My friends have essentially worked in one club for years without taking any significant breaks and they seem to distinguish between guys they refer to as "my customer" and guys they refer to as "my regular". I ran the question by one of my friends yesterday. Anyone who returns to the club to see her is "her customer". When the number of visits reach or approach double digits(and continue), he then becomes "her regular".

    Hey, I'm only relaying what I've witnessed. I'll readily admit there are no exact defintions in the SC world. People debate on this site what constitutes an extra, what constitutes generosity, and what is or isn't acceptable. The definition of what constitutes a regular is no different.
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    A few years ago I met a new dancer at a club. We had a great time one afternoon and I went back to see her a few days later. For about six weeks I went to see her about once a week. Then I stopped.

    I was,for about six weeks, her regular, BEM. She told me so on more than one occassion. For the record, she was one of "those you know".
    I'm assuming you forgot a comma after the word regular. I fixed it in the quote. Otherwise, it would appear she was calling you a "regular BEM". I don't think that's where you were going.

    And to be honest with you, I'd rather be called a regular than a customer. It's more suggestive of some sort of connection, an acceptance of the guy on the part of the girl. Back in the day, I was never very comfortable being referred to or thinking of myself as someone's customer.
    Last edited by bem401; 03-26-2010 at 06:55 AM.
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    It's not all that difficult to develop an honest and friendly business relationship with a dancer as long as you respect her need to earn and don't cause drama with her at the club or in her life. Sounds simple but it's amazing how stupid some guys can be when all of their blood has rushed to their little head...
    It might not be difficult for you, but I've seen relatively few men who are objective enough to develop that sort of relationship.

    That implies they would understand the real nature of the dancer/customer relationship and be able to gently discount any SS. In practice relatively few customers do, and hence aren't realistic about ITC relationships.

    Crash and burn is distinctly more frequent.

    T'was only a week ago i heard a customer talking to a dancer outside of a venue (after buying a serious number of lap dances ITC) saying "why can't I have your phone number - we can just be friends......"

    Guess what answer he got?

    Phil.
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR View Post
    Kelly, actually you are missing a selling tool. Speaking for myself and maybe a few other guys here who spend money, it fun to hear you point out the guy who tried to stiff you or the guy who forgot the rules when he walked into the VIP and you had to bitch slap him. Personally, I find those stories not in bad taste but fun to hear. Even though you might talk about me later, it's fun to imagine that I am superior to those goofballs.

    FBR
    Well, I had customers like that, but none of my regulars were like that at all. Maybe I was a minority. I'm sure I may have made fun of customers who were jerks though.

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post


    Dude, its the same fucking thing. You truly are delusional.
    Someone is a cynic...and that makes 2 of us haha! I totally agree with you.

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    Veteran Member SteveSmith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by cadencetyme View Post
    Its normal for regulars to only last 3-6 visits many of those visits they choose to drag out over the course of months. 3-6 is more normal for girls who dont feed into the "playing out" of customers or the flat out deceiving thing. Yes ive had a handful for longer-ive also danced 12 years now.

    As far as what we want the men to think or know: the truth of the matter is that not enough men are willing to just give you money to take your clothes off in a club and pay for that time. Many customers/regulars seem to want to believe that the relationship is everything but that. It is not. Friends can happen but, reeeeeaaaally. You are paying for a service and the dancers pretend all the other b.s. because most customers wont pay the big bucks if they dont pretend its everything but them paying you to get naked and talk.

    I mean how much money would a dancer make if she were like "spending time with you is worked into my monthly budget, i only care about the amount of money you spend and the shortest amount of time i can get it in AND i need to squeeze in a couple more guys like you to make my goal so tell me when youre coming in and how long how much you'll spend?" That doesnt turn most guys on, so dancers find more subtle ways to make money and line up custies. Yes, that usually consists of " i enjoyed our time together, youre so refreshing compared to these other custies... when will you be back? I look forward to it. Youre like a great friend that i have sexy fun with. you make my night great ;0)"
    Most dancer/customer interaction is just common courtesy. I do and say things in my business to keep customers, too. It involves being nice to the customer and treating them like they're special to get return business. Sales 101.

    BTW, I've never had a dancer say any of those corny lines to me.

    Dancers do create fantasies. Some do it better than others. If i were a custie id leave the pink site alone and just enjoy my time in the SC,lol.
    This seems to be a common dancer complaint. You say that you're creating a fantasy for the customer and you make more money by being good at it, then you complain when the customer believes the fantasy.

    On a more postive note, ive noticed that the actual bar regulars/SC pros are usually pretty cool and just want a good night out w/ a hot fun girl that they can return at the end of the night,lol. I prefer a SC addict to a love lorn OR friendship starved custie.
    OTOH, if the customer doesn't buy the fantasy you're selling and just wants to have a good time, then he's a cool customer.

    Quote Originally Posted by cadencetyme View Post
    But Im not about to over analyze the custies i actually enjoy, hehehe.
    Dancers don't enjoy being with customers, you implied so in your other post.

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    Veteran Member SteveSmith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    It might not be difficult for you, but I've seen relatively few men who are objective enough to develop that sort of relationship.

    That implies they would understand the real nature of the dancer/customer relationship and be able to gently discount any SS. In practice relatively few customers do, and hence aren't realistic about ITC relationships.

    Crash and burn is distinctly more frequent.

    T'was only a week ago i heard a customer talking to a dancer outside of a venue (after buying a serious number of lap dances ITC) saying "why can't I have your phone number - we can just be friends......"

    Guess what answer he got?

    Phil.
    What was her answer?

    Did the customer crash and burn? What exactly happened to him? Did he have to be hospitalized over that rejection? Do you think he'll ever be able to recover?

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    I'm a semi regular of about 3 different dancers at 3 different clubs. I typically get dances from more than just one dancer, but I will always take dances from specific dancer's when they are available. Since I don't make any effort to contact my favorite dancer's ahead of time - if they are unavailable I chalk it up to my unwillingness to schedule. Past "regulars" have typically retired before I've moved on. I can't count more than 10 people in life that I consider my friends. Everybody else is an acquaintances of whom I might share some friendly moments in their company. Given my view of life - I've got no friends in a strip club, but I have some friendly acquaintances who usually treat me well. Contributions to my shaking loose from past favs have included overselling a fantasy, pushing too hard to increase my contribution, or just generally trying to play mind games with malicious intentions. Longest fav - 5 years!
    Last edited by rockie; 10-27-2010 at 05:29 PM.

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post


    Dude, its the same fucking thing. You truly are delusional.
    It might be "the same fucking thing" for a girl who considers a guy who comes back a second and third time a regular, but here in RI, where the dancer and customer populations don't tend to change as much as I imagine they do elsewhere, there is a difference between men the dancers consider customers and men they consider their regulars. The girls here just hold their "regulars" in higher regard than guys who are just "customers". Being called a regualr around here means more than being called a customer, but maybe its something unique to RI.

    And what am I delusional about? I'm not considered either any longer, haven't been for awhile, and have no immediate plans on returning to either.

    The whole point of this thread is what is the shelf life of a regular, not the shelf life of a customer. Clearly the OP distinguished a difference between a customer and a regular. Hence the terms used.
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Well, I had customers like that, but none of my regulars were like that at all. Maybe I was a minority. I'm sure I may have made fun of customers who were jerks though.
    I think we are on the same page at the end of the day. Strip clubs are akin to alternative universes where social norms are often tossed out the window. Under every day circumstances, I would not enjoy hearing someone making fun of another person but in the club it is kind of fun to hear. Frankly, those comments tend to be ego building. I know I am the only customer getting the inside scoop on my competition. After all, I am far superior to those goofballs. I have a clue and they don't

    FBR
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    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    A regular IS a customer. It's a classification of a customer. I was a waitress long ago and I had regulars, they still bought food and were customers.

    Shoot, just last Saturday my favorite waitress at the restaurant I vist weekly referred to me as her regular to someone. I'm STILL a customer. You can be a customer without being a regular but you cannot be a regular without being a customer.

    A regular who does not spend any money is not a customer or a regular, they are just one of those douchebags who hangs out in the club.

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    And to be honest with you, I'd rather be called a regular than a customer. It's more suggestive of some sort of connection, an acceptance of the guy on the part of the girl. Back in the day, I was never very comfortable being referred to or thinking of myself as someone's customer.
    Ah yes, the world according to BEM...

    Again, if you spend money on a dancer you are her customer. If you don't spend money on a dancer you are in the way...
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    It might not be difficult for you, but I've seen relatively few men who are objective enough to develop that sort of relationship.
    Well, I guess that makes me special...
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Keep telling yourself that Bem. You're the only one who believes it.

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Ah yes, the world according to BEM...

    Again, if you spend money on a dancer you are her customer. If you don't spend money on a dancer you are in the way...

    Once again, the lack of comprehension by board members is remarkable. I was (in effect) paying you a compliment, Einstein. If the girl in question called you her regular, she was speaking more highly of you than if she just called you her customer. She was distinguishing you from her other customers. I'm neither a regular nor a customer. The comment was a generalization that had nothing to do with me. I would have thought you'd have gotten that.

    And to MG, of course a regular is a customer. Where did I say they weren't? Around here, at least, they comprise a special class of customer. Your waitress friend was simply trying to pay you a compliment by calling you her regular. It implies she enjoys serving you on a regular basis.

    As far as being in the way, Yoda, I'm never that. I happily step aside every time any of my friends sees a potential customer. Over the past several years, a few of my friends and I have ended whatever time we might have been spending together for that day because of the arrival of a certain self-considered SC luminary from out-of-town. In the way? I don't think so. I even point out the guys I see ogling them behind their back in case there's money to be made there. If I was in the way, I wouldn't want to be there nor would my friends want me there at all.
    Last edited by bem401; 03-29-2010 at 07:52 AM.
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    BEM: simple question - do you get specifically invited to go into the SC's by the dancers?

    I've long been friends inside and outside of work with a number of dancers, and what's been absolutely clear over the years is that they only invite me to a venue when there's a purpose for me to be there.

    As an example, there is one venue about a 15 minute drive from me which one dancer I know regularly works at. She now drives herself to and from that venue herself and rarely if ever asks me to meet her there.

    Conversely, if she wants my company at other, more distant venues (lift to/from the venue because its a stressful drive for her or stressful venue for her to work at) then she'll ask if I'm free that evening.

    I'm perfectly happy meeting the dancers outside of work - and I don't feel the need to go in unless specifically requested to do so.

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post

    And to MG, of course a regular is a customer. Where did I say they weren't? Around here, at least, they comprise a special class of customer. Your waitress friend was simply trying to pay you a compliment by calling you her regular. It implies she enjoys serving you on a regular basis. l.
    The lack of comprehension is your own. Just because waitress calls you a regular doesn't mean she gets an iota more enjoyment serving you compared to a complete stranger. It means absolutely nothing.

    The only reason a waitress/stripper/bartender will EVER turn away business is if the customer stresses her out too much/pushes her limits beyond comfort/isn't going to be spending so why waste time.

    Bem, what you need to understand is that every single stripper her, myself included has worked in clubs with ONE OF YOU AS THE RESIDENT TROLL AND GOSSIP-MONGER. Just because a few girls will chat with you periodically for gossip or a free drink doesn't mean they like you any more than customers.

    Honestly, if someone I really cared for was in the club and I was having a drink and chat with them...I would not leave them for the mercy of a customer. Hence I've never asked any "REAL FRIENDS" to visit me at the club. They would get ignored, or I would hurt my own business talking to them....

    Any man that a stripper sit with "until business picks up" is just a placeholder for convenience until someone purporseful shows up. Basically, you are a notch above sitting in the dressing room. Hope you're proud of yourself, "Friend" to dancers.

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    Once again, the lack of comprehension by board members is remarkable. I was (in effect) paying you a compliment, Einstein. If the girl in question called you her regular, she was speaking more highly of you than if she just called you her customer. She was distinguishing you from her other customers. I'm neither a regular nor a customer. The comment was a generalization that had nothing to do with me. I would have thought you'd have gotten that.
    BEM, you really need to come down from superiority mountain and stop thinking that you are so smart that the rest of us mere mortals can not comprehend your posts. I got what you said, I just don't agree with you. A regular is a customer who spends regularly. It's that simple. It doesn't mean the dancer holds him in any higher regard than any other guy who spends money on her. That does not mean that a regular's business is not appreciated but it his regular spending that is appreciated, not the man, or woman as the case may be.
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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    The lack of comprehension is your own. Just because waitress calls you a regular doesn't mean she gets an iota more enjoyment serving you compared to a complete stranger. It means absolutely nothing.

    The only reason a waitress/stripper/bartender will EVER turn away business is if the customer stresses her out too much/pushes her limits beyond comfort/isn't going to be spending so why waste time.

    Bem, what you need to understand is that every single stripper her, myself included has worked in clubs with ONE OF YOU AS THE RESIDENT TROLL AND GOSSIP-MONGER. Just because a few girls will chat with you periodically for gossip or a free drink doesn't mean they like you any more than customers.

    Honestly, if someone I really cared for was in the club and I was having a drink and chat with them...I would not leave them for the mercy of a customer. Hence I've never asked any "REAL FRIENDS" to visit me at the club. They would get ignored, or I would hurt my own business talking to them....

    Any man that a stripper sit with "until business picks up" is just a placeholder for convenience until someone purporseful shows up. Basically, you are a notch above sitting in the dressing room. Hope you're proud of yourself, "Friend" to dancers.
    I've never understood the idea that some men think because they spend money dancers enjoy spending more time with them. Sure SOME regulars are great guys and I enjoyed chatting with them even if they wouldn't tip me (though to be honest I wouldn't talk to them if they hadn't). I had some regulars I enjoyed, but most were just money. There was one regular who came in and I was thrilled when he came in because he was great and tipped me, not to mention he loved to give foot massages. He became an off club friend and I pray he becomes my husband and father of my children. I had a few others who were great guys and enjoyed chatting with them too. A few of these guys I may have dated had I met them in another type of business. To me a regular just meant someone who spent money on me. Actually, most of them I didn't like. Most were either guys who thought if they spent money they'd get me to go home with them, or guys who were jerks in general.

    Oh and the cheapos who never tipped but expected the dancers to chat with (we all know these guys) are losers. None of these guys stood a chance to be a regular because they weren't tipping. I'm sure many of the dancers chatted with them because they thought they were a joke.

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by sadbuttrue View Post
    Congratulations on your "paper" anniversary. I hope you make it to "leather" or wood".

    >>>Sad<<<

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    Default Re: Shelf Life of a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    BEM: simple question - do you get specifically invited to go into the SC's by the dancers?
    Yes, I do. At this stage of the game, I rarely go unless I am somehow or other encouraged to stop by. Keep in mind, I have socialized (in real life), at one point or another (though not necessarily one-on-one), with nearly all the bartenders and several of the dancers. None of the girls on whose account I might be there are girls I only encounter in the club. I never lack for someone to kill 15 minutes with though I don't go in there expecting anyone to make time for me. As I've said before, I'm quite happy to see them generating themselves some income. There are plenty of others there I know and I'm only interested in spending an hour or so there. It's also by far the best place in town for me to kill an hour in the presence of people I know. It is no longer even a strip club to me. I generally have 2 or 3 standing "come by if you're not busy" invitations from a few of the girls who keep me up-to-date on their schedule. They expect nothing from me if I show up. I expect nothing from them if I show up. Some of them are girls I'd have absolutely zero interest in as a dancer even if I were a customer. It was pointed out to me last week by a patron of the club I visit who reads this site that the people reading it just don't get the way things work in RI and the situation in which I find myself is not one I devised, but one that is understandable in RI.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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