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Thread: Finding other girls etc?

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    Question Finding other girls etc?

    Ok so you all know my and J's arrangement. Here's my problem-

    How do we find other girls? We have one friend, but she is kind of a flake and stood us up last time. I don't want to bring home any crazies, and we want something on the regular because we have delegated one day a week to have third parties as per terms of our relationship. We also like to "date" the person- go out for dinner, have drinks and see if we both mutually like her. Hell, other guys too, he's cool with it.

    I've never done a relationship like this full time so to any of you who have done this, share your tips with me!!

    J is super, super picky so going to a swingers club I don't think he'd be down with. We also don't want to swap or do anything when the other person isn't present.

    I need ideas!

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    Veteran Member jadelady's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    Shame that I live far away from you. Wish I had tips, but I don't really! I have trouble finding couples.. I'm just too shy to go into swinger's clubs or certain bars alone.. I am that so-called elusive, pretty bi chick, but no one can find me because I'm not out there LOL

    Best wishes..

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Ok so you all know my and J's arrangement. Here's my problem-

    How do we find other girls? We have one friend, but she is kind of a flake and stood us up last time. I don't want to bring home any crazies, and we want something on the regular because we have delegated one day a week to have third parties as per terms of our relationship. We also like to "date" the person- go out for dinner, have drinks and see if we both mutually like her. Hell, other guys too, he's cool with it.

    I've never done a relationship like this full time so to any of you who have done this, share your tips with me!!

    J is super, super picky so going to a swingers club I don't think he'd be down with. We also don't want to swap or do anything when the other person isn't present.

    I need ideas!
    do you guys like hot alternative/goth girls? If so, find your local industrial goth club. there are a lot of people in the fetish community there, and a lot of girls who go to these swing both ways and are a lot more sexually experimental in my experience. usually at these clubs there is a mixture of fat goth girls (eww) and some really smokin ones... just go for the hot ones .

    also, couldnt you guys go to a swingers club and just look for the hot people? Ive never been to a swingers club, but whenever swingers come into the SC and i decide to deal with them (for lack of better option usually) i ask them about the clubs because they loooooove talking about their swingers clubs. from what i understand, there are different types of swingers clubs.. some are meet and greets then all sexual activity happens outside the club, and some have bedrooms in the club for sexual activity. and at both of them, you dont have to participate, you can go and be voyeurs or just socialize and what not.... so if you guys didnt see anyone you liked, then you could just not participate sexually. Plus, doing swaps is not a requirement for being a swinger as far as i know. some singles go there, although i think most of the singles are probably dudes.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    http://www.kasidie.com

    Go to some of the parties, get to know people, and find someone you like. If you are looking for just a girl, they are referred to as "unicorns" on the site.
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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    I can be on a flight tomorrow.

    Honestly, when I had this kinda life style, we mainly hung around with friends who had the same relationship me and my ex did. It made life easier.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    I can be on a flight tomorrow.

    Honestly, when I had this kinda life style, we mainly hung around with friends who had the same relationship me and my ex did. It made life easier.
    Haha we wish! J would love you.

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    We use the internet, but I've also picked up friends and girls I work with. At first it was really difficult we ended up swinging with couples cause we just couldn't find girls... and then, when it rains, it pours. We literally met so many girls I can't even remember all of them. I'll see a pic and be like, "oh ya, I forgot about her". We had one regular girl for a few months and she was awesome! She ended up getting a bf who wasn't into it. We also randomly met a girl through a friend and ended up playing with her for about a year. We hung out as well like you are suggesting. Sometimes all 3, sometimes one or the other. She also eventually got a BF. We still hang out with her socially and her BF is cool with her kissing both of us on the mouth but I think much more than that would freak him out. We are working on him though cause I wouldn't mind a couples thing, but this is totally foreign to him. There is really no trick other than being overtly sexual.. almost a bit of a sexual predator. It is hard at first, at least for me, because I am not used to rejection, but eventually once you have success you figure out that if you don't ask, you don't get. I guess the hardest thing with single girls is sometimes they can be a bit of a head case and the ones who are really hot and cool tend not to stay single for long. I'm rambling now but primarily we used an adult website that is local to australia.

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    Hubby and I have used 'Alt.com' quite a lot - and sucessfully too...but the suggestion about Goth clubs is a good one.

    There's loads of Swinger Clubs on the Internet though if that's the way you want to go.....you could also look in the Personals in your local 'free classifieds' publications as well.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    because we have delegated one day a week to have third parties
    Woohoo, "third party Thursdays" I love it.

    Try fetlife.com Its getting real popular.
    I can do better than you in a two bit fancy house

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    Quote Originally Posted by fast tan77 View Post
    Woohoo, "third party Thursdays" I love it.

    Try fetlife.com Its getting real popular.
    It's actually Sunday. But whatevs. Thanks for the link.

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    But "third party Sunday" don't rhyme.
    I can do better than you in a two bit fancy house

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    We have had a bunch of dumb luck in this. But its been random, with some of my girl friends. We've hung out with them since, and just stayed friendly, nothing happened. And, there was that ONE time at Sugar's on dayshift, but those were some nasty extras girls, doubt you would want that.

    Wow, I've been thinking about this, and its seriously not that easy to find a regular girl. I went to the big swinger's club a LONG time ago, and there were a bunch of hotties there. However, a few men were so super aggressive that all the girls just ended up hanging out in the bathroom together, in our underwear, hiding from the guys.

    Just checked, looks like the 2 big swingers clubs have closed down. The only one left is http://www.austinfriends.com/ My friend went there w her hubby and said everyone was ugly and old.

    Someone needs to open a sex-friendly club in this town!!!

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    There is sdc online and other swinger sites or you could go to the parties/clubs, but really it's not hard to post an ad and flitter till you find the right girl for the two of you. Or you could probably just start hinting around with girls you both are attracted to & just take it from there.

    As a lesbian who's in the scene and plays with couples it's usually the girl who approached and sets the rules or the guy who introduces his gf and invites me to have drinks or whatnot with them when she is on the shy side. Of course that's just the general how it's done, but it's not unusual for friends to just start talking about sex and to bring it up. It doesn't hurt to ask or just flirt with anyone you both might be interested in. Me I don't care much about fear of rejection or how others might react I simply look and if I see sexual attraction in a woman's eyes (which you can read in a matter of secs when some1 returns your stare with a certain level of eye contact and body language) anyhow let's just say I'm on it like a shark that smells blood I'll just go up and kiss a girl & save the small talk for after. It's really not that hard once the two of you find your flirting style and know what you are looking for then it becomes as ez as finding your customers or flirting with guys (girls like sex just as much even if they seem to play harder to get) they really aren't.

    My bff and I used to pick up on girls together and he was the opener and I was always the closer which worked for us cuz he is very friendly outgoing & knows how to talk to girls as well as what I liked so he did the shopping and once I knew they were into him and down to have fun w/us I always decided when it would happen cuz I'm just good at making it happen & turning things sexual. Sometimes it was girls he dated he found out they were bi, or girls we picked up together, or times when other couples would approach me I didn't swap with any1 as I'm just into girls, but the 2 of us did have our way with finding bisexual girls who wanted to have fun w/us.
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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    ^^ Haha, come teach me lessons??

    Both of us are bi-comfortable, but damn- we could use a well versed lesbian to help us out! Thanks for the tips.

    Oh and we are both super duper outgoing, and just afraid of offending someone!

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    This thread rocks.

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    Decided to delete
    Last edited by Brooke; 02-03-2010 at 02:54 PM. Reason: I can be a know-it-all bitch sometimes

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    Default Re: Finding other girls etc?

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    ^^ Haha, come teach me lessons??

    Both of us are bi-comfortable, but damn- we could use a well versed lesbian to help us out! Thanks for the tips.

    Oh and we are both super duper outgoing, and just afraid of offending someone!
    Well if you two were ever in MIA then I'ld b happy 2 =) most lesbians do offend ez not me, but I'm the one that crashes the Bliss parties and decided to be a dancer so I'm much more open minded and comfortable around men and bisexual women. I happen to enjoy playing with couples as I find something sexy about me and a guy pleasing a woman who enjoy the best of both. There also that strange completion/tease thing I get off on in terms of attention from men like I really like making them watch. lol Anyhow like I said ever hit miami you know who to come visit =) but if you would like any other conversation/advice on the matter please feel free to ask I'm better hands on, but I do know a few things from experience I'll be more then happy to share w/u
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