If I were you, I'd think about if you want to be the one doing the asking, or if you want him to always do the telling.
Right now, my non-monogamy requirements dictate that all details must be given after something happens. But this might be different for you. Maybe you decide that you don't want him to tell you anything until you ask, or maybe he has to tell you everything always unless you specifically ask him not to do so.
Maybe this answers your question of the whole PMS thing? If you spontaneously decide you don't want to know what happened, then just tell him. Or tell him when you feel PMS rage coming on. "Baby, sorry, but would you stay away from other women for a few days?"
Never let others' non-monogamy deals dictate your own requirements. If you think you only want him to have another woman on the second Tuesday of every month, and he's not allowed to kiss her knees, and he must keep you on speakerphone for the duration (or something equally specific/weird-sounding), then that's how it has to be.
An understanding partner will accept your terms. Just because other people might let their SO's fuck everything under the sun without a care in the world doesn't mean your requirements can't be extremely specific.
The only thing I will stress is that communication is absolutely CRUCIAL to setting this up. If something doesn't feel right to either one of you, you both need to know that you can call it off at any point with no judgment. As another member said, constantly re-evaluate your 'contract' and always allow both parties to call a stop to it. Perhaps this will make you incompatible with another person. But even that is the kind of information that you should keep in the open to cause minimal pain.
Personally, I am constantly having problems with my arrangement. My SO has decided (based on our experimentation), that he is pretty much "as monogamous as it gets." Which I think is absolutely adorable...but it's not how
I am. So right now I'm sticking to very tame activities with others to satisfy my need for non-monogamy (it actually strengthens my relationship to be with other people, and also de-mystifies the whole 'affair' fantasy). He doesn't want me to stop being non-monogamous even though it hurts him a bit. But this is something we're constantly talking about and working on.
OP- sorry if my post doesn't directly address your situation. I always jump at the chance to give advice based on my own experimentation with non-monogamy...so if the post doesn't help you, it might help someone else.

Great thread!
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