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Thread: What is acceptable?

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    Default What is acceptable?

    Hello all,
    New customer here with a question. Is it wierd to ask a dancer what the rules are? Do you see it as disrespectfull?

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    No its not rude. It is polite. Assuming the rules and doing whatever you please is rude. Every dancer has her own boundries. If you are not sure, ask.

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    Always the first thing i do.

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    Veteran Member Amareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer
    No its not rude. It is polite. Assuming the rules and doing whatever you please is rude. Every dancer has her own boundries. If you are not sure, ask.
    Definitely agreed. Not only does every dancer have her own boundaries, every club has different rules. Whenever a customer asks me what the rules are I'm always happy to explain and answer any questions, just be polite and let them know you're not really used to strip clubs yet

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    It's actually great and beneficial to both parties involved, in my opinion.

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    Thank you for all of your answers they are helpful.

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    I have to disagree slightly. While I would much rather a customer ask rather than just try to grab at me, it immediately makes me get my guard up and get the feeling that the guy is going to be difficult to dance for (perhaps he will try to push the boundaries).

    If a guy is going to be enjoyable to dance for (for me) he just sits there and enjoys the dance and his hands remain by his side.
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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hockeyfan_4 View Post
    Hello all,
    New customer here with a question. Is it wierd to ask a dancer what the rules are? Do you see it as disrespectfull?
    I used to ask this question when I did CR's with girls I had few or no prior dances with. Unfortunately, the most common response was "I'll just tell you if you cross the line", which provides very little insight, but can make the guy a little uneasy. My guess is the girls feared admitting strict rules might scare away business or didn't want to be seen to be offering extras. Once the dance is started, the guy is on the hook for it and the girl is more or less in control.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    Whenever I am in a new club or receiving a lap dance from a dancer for the first time, I keep my hands at my side and wait for the dancer to direct me if she allows more. Safest way to go in my opinion. The dancer is going to want you to relax and enjoy the dance so they will let you know what their boundries are without asking. This way it is not like me asking them how far I can go and pushing that line.

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    Most new dancers I see will usually tell me I can touch anything that her thong does not cover and I always respect her boundries.

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    I have to disagree slightly. While I would much rather a customer ask rather than just try to grab at me, it immediately makes me get my guard up and get the feeling that the guy is going to be difficult to dance for (perhaps he will try to push the boundaries).

    If a guy is going to be enjoyable to dance for (for me) he just sits there and enjoys the dance and his hands remain by his side.
    If he asks before i make the sale , then i agree. i assume at this point that he usually wants as much as possible for his money. it also makes me cringe because a lot of the time, i feel like my answer to this question is what will make or break the sale, and i dont want to invite behavior that i wont allow. And a lot of the guys hwo ask what the rules are in the dance or even more so, in the chamagne room, before they actually by the dance are really trying to find out if i do extras.

    now if they buy a dance and ask after buying the dance, then i believe it is respectful.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    I don't know that you need to ask....just look around the club and see what happens. Some clubs are air dance only, and even touching a hip might be considered an extra. In Tampa, full on groping of body parts is de riguer and extras are hand jobs or more. Observation is the easier way to find out than asking.

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    ^^
    yeh but if u go by that then one dancer might allow something and if u try it with another dancer you might get slapped.

    Believe me guys if u put your hands by your side and let the dancer have control u will receive much more enjoyable lap dances. If u try to control the dance and r all grabby u usually put the girl on the defensive and u will receive an average to shit dance and she will cut it short. Don't make the dance so unpleasant for her that she can't wait to run screaming from u!!

    I get a lot closer, intimate and sexy with guys who make me feel safe when I dance for them. Grabbing guys get a pretty shit dance from me and i always cut it short coz i just cant be bothered with them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
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    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    Yup, I agree. Leave your hands by your sides and see if she initiates anything. I also hate it when guys ask what the rules are. I've also had countless guys ask, and then they just do whatever the hell they want anyway. Like I'll tell them not to touch my boobs, butt, or vagina, but they will try to anyway. If a guy asks what he can touch BEFORE he even commits to buying a dance, I will say nothing at all and it just scares me away. I think most dancers would rather not be touched than touched anyway, so its always the best option. If she takes your hands and places them on her, even better.
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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    Whenever I've asked "what are your rules" it typically goes over about as well as a fart in church. For the reasons explained here, it is apparently a far more loaded question than I ever realized. I've also been at a club that was a fairly "dirty" club and encountered a fairly "clean" dancer (I never saw her there again on subsequent visits), so you can not rely on what you see to guide your understanding of the rules; it is a personal, dancer-by-dancer decision. The best you can do is keep your hands to yourself and see what happens. Do your homework before buying a dance, and be prepared to cope with buyer's remorse, it is an unfortunate consequence of the business model. Always remember that you are in an information asymmetry economic situation. Find a dancer you like and stick with her. Trial and error rapidly becomes far too costly a proposition in this industry.
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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    I actually asked once "Where can I put my hands" in a completely non-loaded way. The response I got back was "You can touch me hee hee"...not helpful at all.

    Now that I think about it..."where can I put my hands" does seem a lot more like basically saying "Can I finger your snatch" then saying "what are the rules?"

    How exactly can a customer find out what the boundaries are without making it seem like a sneaky attempt at getting away with more then he should?

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    Default Re: What is acceptable?

    ^^
    put your hands by your side and let the dancer be in control.

    Honestly I just don't get it. Lap dances are about the dancer being in control - teasing you. If you want to be in control just go fuck someone.

    At my club customers are allowed to touch our hips which is extremely annoying because if the customer insists on doing this it restricts my movement and I can't perform the dance as well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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