Fun thread idea I hijacked from another website I frequent. Plus I'm up too late and need entertaining.
Dear Upstairs Neighbour-
I have no idea WTF you are doing up there. My deductions have led me to believe that either a) You are practicing professional relay races, b) You have a huge group of people up there doing godknowswhat, or c) You farm elephants.
Sounds like a good time. Invite me up and quell my curiosity.
Inquisitively,
M
Dear J-
I know you thought it was amusing to say "yes" when I asked you if you would love me more if I was a Real Doll, but seriously? Your shit eating grin gave you totally away. Come on now- I have seen you lie your way into a cougar's wallet. You're smarter than that. I'll give you a mulligan shot this time.
Affectionately,
M
Dear Hospital-
MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND ALREADY. DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE AND GO ALL TIMOTHY MCVEIGH ON YOUR ASS.
*ahem*
Professionally,
M
Dear Room Mate-
Thanks for not getting pissed when we drank all your booze, and when we drank the one we bought to replace it. Matter of fact, thanks for also not getting pissed when we use your fooseball table for drunken strip fooseball at 3am, when I have to yell at J to LEAVE THE BACON ALONE IT DOESN'T BELONG TO ME, when there's lingerie littered in the living room, and for saying What's Up to everyone every time you come home. You're such a bad ass, and your girlfriend is a sweetheart. I swear, I will bake you a pie this week. Hell, I'll make it two.
Gratefully,
M



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