Page 2 of 8 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 183

Thread: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

  1. #26
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,944
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked 498 Times in 218 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    I certainly don't NEED the amount of money I make. But I enjoy a lifestyle with some luxuries, have excellent business plans, and would like to have a solid savings fund so I can retire early and travel.

    My partner is okay with what I do and have done for my cash. If he wasn't, then I don't think we'd be compatible, as my life plans are important to me, and stripping has been a major tool to make those plans.

    Beyond that, I wouldn't feel comfortable living off my partner's money. I like bringing in an income, and a very good one at that.

  2. #27
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    Then you're a wonderful exception. She trusted you enough to let you have access to those texts. She trusted you to know how meaningless they were. People tell me they love me all the time. Does my partner care? No, because he's smart enough to know that what a person says to me has nothing to do with me, but them.



    Sorry, what was that about keeping your mouth shut? Would you quit being a musician for her? Flip this around. We all know the stereotypes about musicians and their roadies, or being hedonistic. Is that true? Should she trust you? Go ahead and tell me I'm being ridiculous, I beg you. Then see how silly you're being with your lack of trust as well.

    She hides nothing from you. She dances for your friends. She's clearly very open. Again, you married a stripper. You were happy with that at the time. No longer happy? Leave in a dignified manner instead of insulting her with your paranoia. I assume you love her, or you wouldn't be so angry if she was doing extras. So save her the pain of a big fat accusation. You might as well call her a whore to her face if you hire a PI.

    The bold part bothers me.

    You not only suspect your wife is cheating, you suspect she's cheating for money, at work, and risking STDs.

    Over a few texts from a PL at work, and the word of someone that gets LDs from her. These, you rank higher than the word of someone that recited vows for you, is open with you, and seems to trust you.

    You asked us what we though, and we're telling you. Sure, we're not telling you what we think of your wife, but when a mod comes in with a magical Stay On Topic stick I'm sure we'll get back to that.
    Actually i did quit being a musician for her. She didnt like the idea of groupies and me being on the road. As far as trusting me with texts, I think she simply forgot to tell this one person to chill for a few days. She keeps her phone with her at all times. even to the bathroom. and keeps it on silent ALWAYS. Ive never accused her of anything. I simply asked and watched her body language. And i thank you for your input.

  3. #28
    Featured Member wanderlust08's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    761
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked 248 Times in 136 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by Im_not_here View Post
    But she doesnt NEED to make that much money!! Is cash more important than your partner? If you were starving, ok. But we are NOT. doing quite well actually WITHOUT needing her cash.
    There is a certain psychological satisfaction that comes along with making your own money, especially if you are a female. When you're not making your own cash, you constantly feel like you owe the man something. Not a good feeling.

  4. #29
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,264
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked 426 Times in 247 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by Im_not_here View Post
    But she doesnt NEED to make that much money!! Is cash more important than your partner? If you were starving, ok. But we are NOT. doing quite well actually WITHOUT needing her cash.
    ^ Would you be okay being a house husband while she earned a lot of money? It could be about her independence, and asserting that she can make money. I know, I'm judging you and not her an awful lot, but only because you're the one posting and not her.

    Talk to her. About her. Not about how you feel about her dancing, or your suspicions, or why you think she should leave - talk to her about how she feels about dancing, why she keeps doing it. At the end of a shift, plop her down, rub her shoulders, and ask how it went. I guarantee she'll tell you all about work. If she hates it that bad, like you say, she won't be going the extra mile to please strangers. She's just making her money, her way.

    What qualifications does she have? What other job could she get? Is she saving for something? Is there a communication breakdown between you two? Would a long holiday away from work, customers, bars, clubs etc help?
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  5. #30
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by kandie_kitten View Post
    Well, I certainly don't NEED the money I make. But I like certain luxuries in my life, I had grad school to pay for, and I'd like to have a large savings fund so I can eventually retire early and travel.

    As I said, my partner has no problem with stripping. If he did, I doubt we'd be compatible, as my life plans are important to me, and stripping has been a major vehicle in making those plans happen.

    Moreover, I would never be comfortable living off my husband's earnings. I like to contribute with my own income.
    She has any ivy league degree and do whatever she wants. she could make good money without stripping. just wouldnt be easy for her to switch over i think.

  6. #31
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,264
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked 426 Times in 247 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by Im_not_here View Post
    Actually i did quit being a musician for her. She didnt like the idea of groupies and me being on the road. As far as trusting me with texts, I think she simply forgot to tell this one person to chill for a few days. She keeps her phone with her at all times. even to the bathroom. and keeps it on silent ALWAYS. Ive never accused her of anything. I simply asked and watched her body language. And i thank you for your input.
    Oh come on, she keeps it on silent? I do that! But only because I am nervous at surprising noises and I get sick of people being like "What. The. Fuck." when my phone rings and I leap out of my seat like OH MY GOD. The vibrate function is even worse. Try and see it from her angle. Maybe she's a scaredy cat of ringtones like me.

    Mine's always in my pocket, so it comes to the bathroom with me too. So do my cats because they're freaks. Chillax.

    If you quit being a musician, what is your current job?
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  7. #32
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,944
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked 498 Times in 218 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    I have a top-notch education and a Master's degree to boot. I make a very good income in my "normal" job, but it pales in comparison to what is possible to make stripping.

    Beyond that, mainstream jobs suck. I hate having to be in an office 9-5. I loved making a ton of cash in just a few nights a week. There is no substitute for the kind of flexibility and earning potential stripping offers.

  8. #33
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    ^ Would you be okay being a house husband while she earned a lot of money? It could be about her independence, and asserting that she can make money. I know, I'm judging you and not her an awful lot, but only because you're the one posting and not her.

    Talk to her. About her. Not about how you feel about her dancing, or your suspicions, or why you think she should leave - talk to her about how she feels about dancing, why she keeps doing it. At the end of a shift, plop her down, rub her shoulders, and ask how it went. I guarantee she'll tell you all about work. If she hates it that bad, like you say, she won't be going the extra mile to please strangers. She's just making her money, her way.

    What qualifications does she have? What other job could she get? Is she saving for something? Is there a communication breakdown between you two? Would a long holiday away from work, customers, bars, clubs etc help?
    I would be fine with her making more money than I. I really am not "that guy". I wont be buying a porsche or a big house. I hate "stuff". it ends up owning you in the long run.

  9. #34
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by hello-kitty View Post
    you guys have been together for four years and this just started being the issue?
    Always been an issue. But was cool with it until things just started piling up. over the years i have heard lots of stuff.

  10. #35
    Featured Member jasmine22's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    1,131
    Thanks
    818
    Thanked 1,258 Times in 470 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    The fact is you just dont trust her. If your wife wants to cheat on you, she will. regardless of whether thats in the club or outside the club with someone you wouldnt even know or suspect. I think u guys need to have a long talk about your relationship.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jasmine22 For This Useful Post:


  12. #36
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    Oh come on, she keeps it on silent? I do that! But only because I am nervous at surprising noises and I get sick of people being like "What. The. Fuck." when my phone rings and I leap out of my seat like OH MY GOD. The vibrate function is even worse. Try and see it from her angle. Maybe she's a scaredy cat of ringtones like me.

    Mine's always in my pocket, so it comes to the bathroom with me too. So do my cats because they're freaks. Chillax.

    If you quit being a musician, what is your current job?
    Im still in music. I love it. Just dont travel. Actually, we are starting a band together. She can sing like crazy! And she can play piano. Yes, its awesome!! just wish she didnt dance anymore. I gave up what she wished i wasnt doing.

  13. #37
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine22 View Post
    The fact is you just dont trust her. If your wife wants to cheat on you, she will. regardless of whether thats in the club or outside the club with someone you wouldnt even know or suspect. I think u guys need to have a long talk about your relationship.
    Yes i am aware of that.

  14. #38
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Damn jasmine, that sounds scandalous. You think only girls can cheat without throwing up red flags? Think again. I could have been with MANY women way younger. But the thought of being with anyone but her makes me very uncomfy. I just couldnt do it.

  15. #39
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,264
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked 426 Times in 247 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by Im_not_here View Post
    Im still in music. I love it. Just dont travel. Actually, we are starting a band together. She can sing like crazy! And she can play piano. Yes, its awesome!! just wish she didnt dance anymore. I gave up what she wished i wasnt doing.
    There we go.

    Get the calender and set aside regular band practice and pizza nights. Hopefully it'll bring you back together. Hell, band-practice-pizza-movie-Sundays. Make it fun again. Bring back the fun.

    However, you need to drop the "I did it for HER so why can't SHE?" mentality. A relationship is give and take, but you do not hold your giving over a person and demand to take because of it. Not how it works.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  16. #40
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,264
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked 426 Times in 247 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by Im_not_here View Post
    Damn jasmine, that sounds scandalous. You think only girls can cheat without throwing up red flags? Think again. I could have been with MANY women way younger. But the thought of being with anyone but her makes me very uncomfy. I just couldnt do it.
    /facepalm.

    But you think she could.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  17. #41
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Well sxcbbw, I gave up my lifes work. I was "there". Signed to Geffen, Hanging with the big boys. Since i was 14 years old thats all ive wanted and i gave it up...for her. I dont think its too much to ask her to try to find a stopping point on the dancing. Its not like thats the career she wanted. I dont think she majored in that at Tulane. hahah

  18. #42
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    /facepalm.

    But you think she could.
    Sure she could. So could I.

  19. #43
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,264
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked 426 Times in 247 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by Im_not_here View Post
    Sure she could. So could I.
    Quote Originally Posted by Im_not_here View Post
    I just couldnt do it.
    Pick a stance.

    Again, just because you did something for her does not mean you get to choose what she does for you. You gave up a job because you love her, and that's wonderful. You're using that sacrifice as a tool to get what you want from her. Not so wonderful.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  20. #44
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,944
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked 498 Times in 218 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    *bangs head in*

    Forget it. You're hopeless.

  21. #45
    Featured Member jasmine22's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    1,131
    Thanks
    818
    Thanked 1,258 Times in 470 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by Im_not_here View Post
    Damn jasmine, that sounds scandalous. You think only girls can cheat without throwing up red flags? Think again. I could have been with MANY women way younger. But the thought of being with anyone but her makes me very uncomfy. I just couldnt do it.

    wow excuse me for trying to help. ur the one trolling a website looking for advice from strangers and your gonna give me an attitude really? and why are u telling me couldve been many women like i really give a care??

  22. #46
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    I really appreciate everyone's input. It was nice to talk to some dancers who know the industry like the average customer doesnt. I was expecting a bunch of moron guys to post rude comments. I think its just time for her to wrap it up and move on to something else. She hates it, I hate it, and its causing major problems now. I was SUPER cool for 4 years. She was cool with me touring for maybe 4 months and then it was over for me. And thats cool. I HATE sleeping away from her anyway and she feels the same.

  23. #47
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    Pick a stance.

    Again, just because you did something for her does not mean you get to choose what she does for you. You gave up a job because you love her, and that's wonderful. You're using that sacrifice as a tool to get what you want from her. Not so wonderful.
    I meant it is possible for a guy to be as sneaky about cheating as a girl can be. I meant if it were possible for me to cheat on her i could totally get away with it. understand? My fault. didnt come out right.

  24. #48
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,264
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked 426 Times in 247 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by Im_not_here View Post
    I really appreciate everyone's input. It was nice to talk to some dancers who know the industry like the average customer doesnt. I was expecting a bunch of moron guys to post rude comments. I think its just time for her to wrap it up and move on to something else. She hates it, I hate it, and its causing major problems now. I was SUPER cool for 4 years. She was cool with me touring for maybe 4 months and then it was over for me. And thats cool. I HATE sleeping away from her anyway and she feels the same.
    Where are the men posting in this thread? No really. Get in here.

    Read over your posts and look carefully as to how you might be coming across to dancers, and see why we might be saying these things to you.

    You think it's time for her to wrap it up - good thing you don't have a say in what she does, then. As a woman, I know for a fact if a man said something like that to me he would be gone. She's been dancing for 9 years. I bet you anything she has seen her fair share of controlling men and does noooot want another. This probably has something to do with her defiance.

    Throughout this thread you do nothing but assert yourself as having shifted heaven and earth for her and then ruin these assertions by acting like she owes you anything for it and it gives you a right to decide what she can or cannot do - but you don't whine to her about it, you're too nice for that. You just silently resent it. You bring up the fact that she pees with her phone and keeps it on silent as something suspicious. You take what other people say as being in higher regard than what she says.

    The dancing isn't the problem. It's the paranoia.

    You say you have dancer friends? Ask them, maybe they'll sugar coat things for you. We won't.

    Step back and think rationally. There's a reason dancers are being a little cold. We have no idea if she sounds the type, we barely know anything about her. But from what I've read? No. She sounds the strong wilfull "I do what I want" type, but not the extras type.
    Last edited by sxcbbw; 02-10-2010 at 11:39 PM. Reason: durrr typo.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  25. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sxcbbw For This Useful Post:


  26. #49
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine22 View Post
    wow excuse me for trying to help. ur the one trolling a website looking for advice from strangers and your gonna give me an attitude really? and why are u telling me couldve been many women like i really give a care??
    sorry jasmine, didnt mean that in a hateful way. wasnt attacking you. really.
    I know its not your prob. Just wanted to know if you girls think, from what ive told you, if she sounds like the type to do that type of thing. you would know more than anyone else. that question goes out to everyone.

  27. #50
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wife dances. Please help me girls!

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    Where are the men posting here? No really.

    Read over your posts and look carefully as to how you might be coming across to dancers, and see why we might be saying these things to you.

    You think it's time for her to wrap it up - good thing you don't have a say in what she does, then.

    Throughout this thread you do nothing but assert yourself as having shifted heaven and earth for her and then ruin these assertions by acting like she owes you anything for it and it gives you a right to decide what she can or cannot do - but you don't whine to her about it, you're too nice for that. You just silently resent it. You bring up the fact that she pees with her phone and keeps it on silent as something suspicious. You take what other people say as being in higher regard than what she says.

    The dancing isn't the problem. It's the paranoia.

    You say you have dancer friends? Ask them, maybe they'll sugar coat things for you. We won't.

    Step back and think rationally. There's a reason dancers are being a little cold.
    Well, i wont be in a one sided relationship. If i scratch her back it would be nice to get the same. We all know that saying. It doesnt go "if i scratch your back you scratch someone elses behind my back". hahah. And ive never ever told her what to do. We have talked and ive asked. And yes i do resent it when ive explained to her how i feel and still she does nothing. She knows this as well.

Page 2 of 8 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Other girls get my dances!
    By Aurora_Sunset in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-11-2011, 06:12 PM
  2. Girls who give free dances
    By cutey5032 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 08-08-2007, 01:17 AM
  3. Husband kills wife's lover; wife charged...Owned yo!
    By BlackSheEp3 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 04-04-2007, 08:08 AM
  4. Why buy dances with girls you don't like?
    By Paris in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 12-17-2005, 04:04 PM
  5. girls with pimps, wife-inlaws ect...
    By domino0716 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 09-26-2004, 02:55 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •