



“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”





Sort of like I hate the term "pick up". We go out and scope, if it isn't someone we know already, we work together to entice the person to come home with us. It isn't like I carry around an elephant net, and throw it over girls' heads yelling MUAHAHAHA I GOTZ UUUUUU and drag them home for J to untangle.
I'm seeing some interesting things here. You seem to hold that her stripping could ruin your marriage, because she doesn't need that much money, and you've asked her to stop?
You are thinking of hiring a PI?
So, imagine you've hired a PI, and he went to the club she works at, and she danced for him, and did NO extras. Would that be all? Would you be satisfied knowing that she is a 'clean' dancer? Would you go on pretending you have a happy marriage?
I doubt it. If you let your paranoia bring you this far (posting on this forum about this), you'd probably let your insecurity progress, thinking 'it was this once she was clean. she must surely be doing more for others. let's hire someone else'.
You've accused and convicted her: of doing extras, of being a stripper, of making too much money, of not stopping dancing after you'd repeatedly asked her not to.
Looks to me like you are just wasting her time. Why hasn't she left you yet?





Of course YOU don't, Med. I know that.
Anyway, the OP said "extras". There are a lot of extras that do not include fucking, but that he would not be relieved to learn about.
Look, I was in the SC last week looking for C, but I ended up chatting and getting a dance from another girl because C wasn't there. This young innocent looking girl (she said she was in college and planned to go to law school) offered me a HJ or a BJ within the first 2 minutes of the lap dance. (She knew I came to the club looking for C and she said she would show me a better time than I had with C.) She was not a destitute mom trying to feed her kids, she was just a young college kid trying to hustle to make a quick buck. (Just saying,... I'm not judging.) Its an "upscale" franchise club with very attractive "clean" and classy looking girls. (I won't say the name of the SC, but they have their flagship club in Las Vegas.) Every time I go with friends, at least one of us gets that kind of offer. I know that so many women on this forum frown upon that, but let's face it,... yes it happens,... a lot in some places.




That's why I fucking HATE Treasures with a passion. Oh, and the flagship is actually the Houston club. They opened the Vegas club later.
Grrrr, fucking Houston, what a shitty town to strip in unless you enjoy chafed nipples and carrying a large purse that fits wet wipes and condoms.
And yes, many attractive girls offer the extras. But I promise you, she wasn't offering them because she was horny, and her g-spot is located in the palm of her hand.But you know this.
Jack, your town is very specific, in that extras are super easy to come by from attractive, seemingly normal girls. Its not like that everywhere...even a few hours away, here in ATX.





^^ I know what club you're talking about. I understand that is the norm in Houston, and some places. It makes me really sad.
I still maintain my personal definitions of extras, which I am thinking the OP would agree with: kissing, nipple sucking, HJ, BJ and all those whack ass acronyms. I also think if you want to do those things you should take them OTC. Kills me when I am in VIP next to a girl who's rubbing a guy's crotch and the guy I am with gets all butt hurt that I refuse to do that.
I am not getting the impression the OP would be ok with anyone participating in the activities I listed with his wife.
KS_Stevia is right though... ATX is one of the cleanest places I have ever worked, especially the club I am at now- the way it's laid out, I can't see how anyone could get away with it, and my boss just fired about 6 girls for suspicious activity.
I leave you now with a piece of hilarity:
"
Mediocrity says:
awesome <3
can i ask you a question? you've had lap dances, right?
would you consider letting a guy touch your boobs "extra"?
J says:
yeah but he cant suck my boobs
i hate guys sucking my boobs
Mediocrity says:
HAHAHAHA
i just realised how weird i worded that
oh god i just laughed til i cried."





He's her husband. I think spouses have a strange sixth sense for infidelity. Usually, when a woman suspects her husband is cheating, he is. Same for men suspecting their wives of infidelity. Yeah, some people are paranoid and super-insecure, but I don't think the OP is that kind of person. If he was, he wouldn't have lasted in the relationship so long (she's been dancing for 9 years and they've been together for 4 years).
Maybe the question is - What has she started to do now that causes him to suspect something now? There's probably more to the story.
I have had a lot of jealous BFs accuse me of cheating. I was not cheating on ANY of them. Funny thing though, in *every singe* instance where I was accused, I found out later the accuser was actually the one being unfaithful.
I would not say that *usually* if someone suspects it, that is in fact the case. I have no statistics to back that up though, just my own personal experience.





^^^ Yeah there are a lot of paranoid jealous guys out there. The OP doesn't strike me as one of them, but I could be wrong.





It is possible to make money in an extras club while avoiding doing them, I've seen it done. But it is a lot harder, especially if the guy 4 feet away is getting a BJ while the woman in question is trying to say no--and no doubt fighting off the roving hands.
I have worked in three clubs with a lot of military guys coming in, who are not fat slobs by any stretch of the imagination. Some of the dancers are enjoying themselves with these guys, and would take it further if they were allowed, they have told me. Some do take it further if they can get away with it, I have seen it on camera, including the one I know is lying to her SO about letting guys finger her. Three of the hottest dancers I know in one club I visit have all told me they sometimes cannot sleep from all the built-up sexual tension. This doesn't mean they would give BJs, though.
We don't really know what this guy's situation is. Telling him he is imagining all this would be fucking stupid, and detrimental to his situation to say the least, if his wife really is handing out favors--which she well might be for all we know. Of course, maybe he is being paranoid. In which case he should ignore this gut feeling, all the rumors he's heard, her history as a party girl, and learn to trust her--if possible.
In any case, the relationship is doomed if it keeps on this way, that's about the only thing we can determine for sure.
Last edited by Djoser; 02-12-2010 at 02:29 AM.
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________

From what I am picking up from your posts this issue may be less to do with the fact that she is a stripper and more to do with the fact that she asked you to give up your carrer that was your lifes work. I COULD BE DEAD WRONG.... but this quote is what sticks out to me in that she asked you to quit on a life long dream of yours because she was insecure in that you would be surronded by women throwing themselves at you. There are trust issues here on both sides.
Are you resentful of the fact that she asked you to quit your band? Being that your band was starting to get to the "big time" and that your passion was starting to take off. In addition the reasons you don't like her stripping are similar to those resons she asked you to quit your band.
It's the "Her turn" that caught my attention. IF... You are harboring resentments and NOT telling your wife about them your going to have many more problems in the relationship.
You have a Huge opportunity to solidify your marriage and still pursue your passion. Pursue this!
In my opinon you should talk to your wife about all of this. After all this is your WIFE there is a reson you married her. Remember if you give up your passion your soul whithers and dies.
I hope everything works out. Good luck!




You shouldn't have married a stripper...if you don't want the worries that go along with it. MAYBE you can't help who you fall in love with, but you sure as hell can help who you marry. You don't have to marry someone just for love...the practical aspects matterjust as much.
And practically speaking, you signed on the dotted line, so you signed up for this with eyes wide open.





You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________

Omg that would be horrible! I DO NOT want to think about or see her with someone else. Man or woman. Makes me want to puke thinking about it. I was with another dancer for four years and we hooked with a lot of girls together. Didnt bother me at all. But my wife..shes my soulmate and I would DIE if i knew she slept with someone else or did ANY extras.



Ok someone asked me to post a pic of my wife to see if anyone would tell me if she was doing stuff. Um, I dont think thats a good idea. But! The club is in Charleston SC. It was called the Joker Social Club. Now its just called 1337 King St. I think. The other would be Tiffany's in Atlanta. The Joker being the current. Any info on these places? I've heard horrible (for my situation) things about both.





^^ Tiffany's I am familiar with. That's no place for a girl, I'll tell you that much.



Familiar with Joker Social by way of another dancer I'm good friends with. My friend turned tail and RAN after her first night in the dressing room.
I've worked at some pretty extras laden SC's, and I've never done an extra once. The furthest I've ever gone was a kiss on a customer's cheek. So, just because she works in a scary club doesn't mean she's a dirty girl.
However, I trust Mediocrity, and I trust my friend - those two clubs are no place for an upstanding lady.
"The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
...sweet things alone are not enough. Seduce me with more fire."







Its not for money... Its for the things she can buy with money... Is she the type of woman that absolutely has to have the most expensive pair of shoes in the department store? Does she have an out-of-control obsession with clothes, jewelry, shoes, etc.?
It's very easy to find out if she does extras. Just send a guy into the club to test her.

Na. No spending habits. She worries about money all the time though. Even though there is no reason to worry. She likes to travel and that takes money but thats about it.
Yes ive considered sending someone in but a lot of times a dancer will only do extras for regulars.
Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.



I'll be honest - if it were me, and I were an extras girl, you would have to worry about me on BUSY nights more than empty nights.
On a slow night, the energy in the club is just awful. I get happy when customers come in, but my sets on stage are half-asses, and so are my dances. An extras girl I was friends with used to tell me that if the night was bad, she didn't even feel like sucking dick. LOL
Try not to freak out.
"The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
...sweet things alone are not enough. Seduce me with more fire."
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