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Thread: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

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    Veteran Member Autumn Lily's Avatar
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    Default Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    Not sure if Hustle Hut is EXACTLY the right place, but I need help here.

    No joke, girls. The guy who does the voice and puppet work for Kermit the Frog is one of my customers. He has a home in Wichita as it is a halfway point between his two primary work places (California and New York) and frequents my club every Monday evening.

    He insists on being my customer as I'm one of the like, 2 girls in the club who doesn't smoke and carry her cellphone on her at all times (Well, I do, I just never check it on the floor). That's his pet peeve - he hates being directly exposed to cigarette smoke (he can be in a room with it, but he always lingers near the walls or corners where he's never right next to a smoker) and he hates it when he's talking to a girl and she pulls out her cell to text.

    Now here's the thing, and something that will probably have the mothers here never want their kids watching Muppets ever again...

    The dude's a pervert. Like... WOW. And a penny pincher from hell.

    He doesn't tip on stage. He picks one girl he likes, insists on them sitting with him. He'll buy $10 drinks for his girl (sparingly, like one an hour, if that), talk their ear off, and on top of that, he "likes to be touched, and wants to reciprocate the touching."

    Yeah. Kermit the Frog wants me to give him handjobs. For a $10 drink (which I only get $7 of, mind you)

    I've made it clear I'm not an extras girl. I've never sat close enough to him for him to touch me other than a handshake (I greet all my customers with a handshake). I also make sure not to sit with him too far out of the public (or bouncers) eye. He's pushed me for my phone number, asked me out on dates, all of that, both of which I have turned down.

    But he doesn't fucking spend money on me, he follows me around every time I come in, sits at pervert row when I dance and doesn't tip...

    AAGH. How the fuck do I deal with this? Seriously?? I've only been dancing for a month and this is the first official creep I've dealt with!

  2. #2
    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    First of all, I'm sorry, but the title and whole thing about him being the voice/puppet master of Kermit is funny as hell! I guess not for you, though..

    To ans your ques: nobody can insist on being your customer, as far as I know. In order for them to be a customer, you need to allow it. Then again, I guess I need your definition of someone being your custie - mine would be "a customer who I spend time with on a semi-reg to reg basis who, in exchange, spends money on me." If you don't spend $$$ on me, I don't spend time on you, so therefore, you're NOT my customer.

    Do you mean that he's your customer in the sense that he likes you the most?

    Does your club have a policy that doesn't let customers sit at the stage w/o tipping? You could always ask about this.

    You say that he "picks girls he likes and INSISTS on sitting with them." How does he insist? Does he tell the mngr or owner of the club that he HAS to have them?

    Maybe I'm not understanding the whole story, but it sounds more to me like you LET him control your time (and be your custie). One of the greatest things about dancing is that you get to choose who you spend time with (in all of the clubs that I've worked in, at least). Unlike other service jobs like bartending and waitressing, where you have to put up with anyone who needs food/drink, you can walk away from someone who you dislike or who doesn't have money.

    Why not tell him that you're busy? Why not nicely explain that if he's not buying LDs, VIPs, or w/e you do to get your money...that you need to make it from somewhere else? You said that you've only been dancing for a month, so maybe you need some practice rejecting people. Yes, stripping isn't only about learning how to gracefully BE REJECTED, but it's also about learning how to gracefully step away from a situation. It can be done in a classy way!! Don't worry about not being "nice," as you're there to make money, which you're letting him negatively affect not only by wasting your time, but also by affecting your mood.

    Remember...YOU are in control. Good luck!!

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    Curious Guest Giaxrylee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    WOW I work in PA but i have a guy that comes in every few weeks that will talk like kermit NON-STOP. I feel your pain girl.

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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    exotica is right on this.

    and i'm sorry hun but i am laughing so hard at the kermit thing.

    it makes me think of a tasteless joke:
    what's green and smells like pork?
    kermit the frog's fingers after he's been with miss piggy.

    i would probably make him talk like kermit, saying it made me hot, then bust out with a swedish chef routine.

    or maybe you could tell him you have a thing for animal?

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    He is probably taking advantage of you because you are a newbie and you are giving him your time for cheap/free.

    Hate to say it, but the reason he insists on being 'your customer' is probably not because you are a non smoker or dont talk on your phone, but because you are the one who continues to put up with him without demanding compensation. And the reason he lurks by the walls and in the corners is probably not as much to avoid cigarette smoke, but to be away from the public eye so he can try to get away with more creepy contact.

    I would refuse to entertain him period until he starts forking out the money. If he demands you sit with him, remind him politely but firmly that you are there to make money, and that you need to either be tipped or he needs to start buying dances. at this point he will either tip you, flat out say no, or say something like 'dont worry babe im going to look after you. sit down, relax' based on your description of him, im going to say probably the last option. Dont believe him, hes lying. guys like this are pros at finding the new girl and taking advantage of her time. They know that since they have money (or say they have money) they can use this to gain a power over a naive dancer.

    Also, its very possible hes broke. a lot of guys who go on and on about blah blah im a millionaire with 3 houses in ny and cali and i fly in my personal helicopter blah blah blah are lying. or severely exaggerating. their fantasy is to have a girl admire them, and lucky him-- you are providing this fantasy for free. so call him out on it... suggest that you dont believe he is rich if he cant afford to look after you properly.

    but honestly, since it seems he is a professional time waster, you really are going to have to learn to say fuck off. if he follows you around, turn, look him firmly in the eye, and say 'i am here to work and i would like to be left alone. if you keep bothering me, im going to have to involve the bouncer.' if he insists on sitting pervert row at teh stage and doesnt tip generously, learn to do a 'no customers are tipping me dance.' for me, this is first i get close, look them in the eye and do a sexy move without contact, and slowly snap my g string,... if that doesnt inform them, then i do the 'gimme paper' gesture with my hand.... if that fails, i will sometimes verbally remind them that they are sitting in the tipping area (depends on teh situation, club, atmosphere etc), and if they still decide to be cheap then i refuse to be entertaining for them-- i face away, put my hands over my boobs, and just move my hips back and forth with my eyes looking up with a 'this sucks' expression. this will either cause them to get the message and throw a dollar on the stage so the entertainment comes back... or it will piss them off and they will move away from the stage.

    Yea, you got to toughen up. he's a leech, dont deal with his bullshit. and dont listen to his excuses as to why he needs you around because you dont smoke etc etc... customers are the masters of making up ridiculous excuses. if he needs you around, then he can give you money. thats how it is. stop giving up your time for free like this, you are really inviting this type of behavior from customers.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    Quote Originally Posted by alice_island View Post

    i would probably make him talk like kermit, saying it made me hot, then bust out with a swedish chef routine.
    this made me laugh so hard. i'm sorry kermit is a perv, but i'll have to agree with everyone else here. you have to let him know that your time isn't free, and that he needs to leave you alone unless he's giving you money.

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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    You just have to do it. Say whatever comes to your head, but something along the lines of :
    " it's so nice talking to you. Would you be open to tipping me for my time ? "
    or " I've got to go now and make some money " .
    Whatever really. Just get the point across in a nice way that being in a strip club and not spending is not appropriate.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    Ugh... hmmm maybe try, "Can you please fuck off? I am trying to work". I'm never rude to customers unless they follow me around harassing me and not giving me money. I've actually said this a few times and one of two things happened - either they left me alone or they started spending. But I wouldn't dance for someone who is going to harass me for hand jobs anyways.

    Also as a side note. How do you know he is the voice of kermit. Sounds like silly behaviour for someone who works on a children's show. Isn't he worried you could go to the media?

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    Veteran Member Autumn Lily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    I did my research, and he carries around an entire billfold of old photographs from the sets, with various celebrities, etc. He's legit.

    I guess he either hasn't had much luck getting what he's looking for, or most girls just say "Yeah whatever" to his claims.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    I had to go back and read your op, originally i thought you said that your customer SOUNDED like kermit the frog, not that he actually was the voice actor.

    its not too uncommon for celebrities, or perhaps even more so-- people who believe they are celebrities, to come into SCs and be cheap. In CLE, a lot of the cavs players are known for being cheap when they go to the club--- not all of them, but there is a reputation. They feel entitled because they are famous... its like the young hot guy complex, but amplified.

    And honestly, he is kind of getting what he is looking for-- the girl of his choice to sit with him for cheap. SCs are for fantasy-- have you considered that his fantasy is that he is important enough that girls will sit by him and listen to his stories without requiring ridiculous compensation, simply because they are in the presence of the oh so mighty Kermit the Frog?

    So yea, just because he was actually the voice of kermit the frog, doesnt mean you should give away your time for free. He is stringing you along-- probe a bit maybe to see what he is looking for , beyond hand jobs of course. And if you dont find something that he is looking for that you can provide-- for compensation--- then remind him that if he wants to talk to you so bad, you have to be compensated.

    Trust me, we have all made this mistake at some point. its common. I remember one time when i was a noob, a customer came in, ordered a champagned bottle but not in a CR, just to sit and drink champagne on the floor-- invited me over, went on and on about his planes and his boat and how he would look after me etc... ordered more bottles... then 2 hrs later when i was finally tired of it and demanded compensation, the asshole tipped me like 20$. What did i do? Got mad, chugged the entire bottle of champagne, and vowed never to waste my time being strung along by some douchebag and his elaborate stories of yachts and designer clothing.

    So yea, dont allow yourself to be strung along by his bullshit. Its one of the oldest customer tricks in the book-- i believe its right between 'well all the other girls give me hand jobs' and 'sorry i dont buy dances because im married' . No worries, you shall learn young grasshopper .
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Featured Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    Jim Henson was the orginal voice of kermit. He is dead.

    His son Brian Henson now does the voice of kermit. He has over five movie projects in the works according to wikipedia. He is 48.
    Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. ~ Mark Twain


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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    I had to go back and read your op, originally i thought you said that your customer SOUNDED like kermit the frog, not that he actually was the voice actor.

    its not too uncommon for celebrities, or perhaps even more so-- people who believe they are celebrities, to come into SCs and be cheap. In CLE, a lot of the cavs players are known for being cheap when they go to the club--- not all of them, but there is a reputation. They feel entitled because they are famous... its like the young hot guy complex, but amplified.

    And honestly, he is kind of getting what he is looking for-- the girl of his choice to sit with him for cheap. SCs are for fantasy-- have you considered that his fantasy is that he is important enough that girls will sit by him and listen to his stories without requiring ridiculous compensation, simply because they are in the presence of the oh so mighty Kermit the Frog?

    So yea, just because he was actually the voice of kermit the frog, doesnt mean you should give away your time for free. He is stringing you along-- probe a bit maybe to see what he is looking for , beyond hand jobs of course. And if you dont find something that he is looking for that you can provide-- for compensation--- then remind him that if he wants to talk to you so bad, you have to be compensated.

    Trust me, we have all made this mistake at some point. its common. I remember one time when i was a noob, a customer came in, ordered a champagned bottle but not in a CR, just to sit and drink champagne on the floor-- invited me over, went on and on about his planes and his boat and how he would look after me etc... ordered more bottles... then 2 hrs later when i was finally tired of it and demanded compensation, the asshole tipped me like 20$. What did i do? Got mad, chugged the entire bottle of champagne, and vowed never to waste my time being strung along by some douchebag and his elaborate stories of yachts and designer clothing.

    So yea, dont allow yourself to be strung along by his bullshit. Its one of the oldest customer tricks in the book-- i believe its right between 'well all the other girls give me hand jobs' and 'sorry i dont buy dances because im married' . No worries, you shall learn young grasshopper .
    I've seen celebrities before in the SC. And yes they were cheap too. Its not the cheap part I'm talking about. But openly asking for handjobs... when you work on a children's show. Probably not the best idea. But I guess if you are the son of Jim Hensen then you are invinsible.

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    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    well idk about jim henson's son being the voice now. all my google research tells me the guys name is Steve Whitmire. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0926209/

    From the looks of the pics I've seen I could completely see this dude in Wichita, KS trying to get handjobs of off his "celebrity" and not actual money.


    The OP needs to treat him just like any other fucking douchebag and say get the fuck away from me loser. Is management okay with him propositioning girls??

  16. #14
    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post

    Trust me, we have all made this mistake at some point. its common. I remember one time when i was a noob, a customer came in, ordered a champagned bottle but not in a CR, just to sit and drink champagne on the floor-- invited me over, went on and on about his planes and his boat and how he would look after me etc... ordered more bottles... then 2 hrs later when i was finally tired of it and demanded compensation, the asshole tipped me like 20$. What did i do? Got mad, chugged the entire bottle of champagne, and vowed never to waste my time being strung along by some douchebag and his elaborate stories of yachts and designer clothing.
    yes we certainly have all done this!
    at least those times are behind us now and we're smarter, yay!

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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    So is the guy in post #13, the guy that you're talking about??!

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    Default Re: Kermit the Frog is my Customer...

    Girl, bug him for money. Hound him for money. Harass him for money. Tell him your broke, need to pay for school, gonna get evicted. Make sure he understands you REALLY need some money now. He will either pay up or run far far FAR away. Either way, you will get what you want out of it.

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