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Thread: Married but addicted to lap dances

  1. #26
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    explain to me how I'm a hypocrite.

    I have never lied to or been dishonest to my boyfriend. Ever. Go ahead and disbelieve that all you want, it's true.
    Wow, how would I know and why would I care?

    I didn't say you were a hypocrite. We are having a discussion here about a topic. The topic is a guy who buys lap dances and doesn't tell his wife that he goes to strip clubs. It's not about you PP.

    What is hypocritical, and again this is an opinion as it relates to the topic at hand and not a personal attack on you or any other woman posting here, is telling a guy from behind a computer screen that he is doing something wrong and then going to work, putting on stripper heels and taking his money...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  2. #27
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    I think he meant himself.
    Not in this case since I am not advising the OP to act any differently than I did when I was married.

    I believe my previous post clarifies where I see the hypocrisy as it relates to this issue. I am not pointing fingers at anyone but the reality is you make money as a dancer by getting guys to spend it on you. Worrying about what is going on in your customer's personal life is not going to pay your bills.

    There have been several painful threads about what a dancer's responsibility is when it comes to emptying a guy's wallet at the club and I have always held the same opinion. Get as much as you can and walk him to the ATM is if you think you can get more.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  3. #28
    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    It's hard to believe that it's gone on this long and she doesn't know. So she is probably lying to you by pretending she doesn't know.... makes you wonder what else you two are lying to each other about...

    I doubt that more than 10% of the wives of married men are okay with them spending money in the clubs... the vast majority of married men in strip clubs are lying to their wives.... surely this is a revelation to no one.

  4. #29
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I went to clubs and visited prostitutes regularly through most of my marriage-which ended a little over a year ago. I really had nothing to do with touching young women but it had everything to do with looking for something that was missing from my marriage. I didn't find it in strip clubs or hotel rooms but what I did find helped get me through some very bad years.

    If you really love your wife and you feel badly about what you are doing then you need to stop. If you don't feel badly about it then don't stop. As long as you are not spending money that you can't afford it's more a question of you being honest with yourself...and, no, I would not talk to your wife about it.

    I wouldn't expect too many women to post here saying that it is OK for a husband to deceive his wife. On the other hand, I wouldn't expect a single stripper in a club to refuse to take your money because you are married...
    See this is the part where I go against the grain and agree with you. So many women become crazy, bitchy, sex-witholding wives. (Not saying this was yours). See I specialize in married guys. The miserable kind. The ones who lie and want to cheat. 90% of the time, that guy is my regular. I personally feel that when someone is dodgy about something and lies and/or hides it, it is obviously something they need badly enough to take risks to gain it. It's not the same as an addiction. To me an addiction is something you can't control. Cheating, lap dances, deception is a choice. I'm sure there are women out there who just have asshole husbands, but I am also sure that there are guys who have asshole wives who drive them to this sort of behaviour. And sometimes I think that deception can keep a marriage together, maybe not forever but longer than it would otherwise. There's a line in a song that illustrates this thinking which is "I'm not unfaithful, but I'll stray". Hence why they always say in an affair the married guy will never leave his wife.

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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    So, only 1 in 100 custies are honest with their wives? Yes, that does disgust me.

    Um yea, pretty much. So it disgusts you so much that you don't dance for these men huh??! Or do you actually believe a guy when he says he's not married (while his ring is in his pocket) OR do you believe them when they say, "yea my wife knows and she's TOTALLY cool with it."

  7. #31
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    I personally feel that when someone is dodgy about something and lies and/or hides it, it is obviously something they need badly enough to take risks to gain it. It's not the same as an addiction. To me an addiction is something you can't control. Cheating, lap dances, deception is a choice. I'm sure there are women out there who just have asshole husbands, but I am also sure that there are guys who have asshole wives who drive them to this sort of behaviour. And sometimes I think that deception can keep a marriage together, maybe not forever but longer than it would otherwise.
    Exactly...

    And for the record, even if you are miserable sometimes staying in a bad marriage, at least for a while, is the best option for all parties involved.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  8. #32
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post

    What is hypocritical, and again this is an opinion as it relates to the topic at hand and not a personal attack on you or any other woman posting here, is telling a guy from behind a computer screen that he is doing something wrong and then going to work, putting on stripper heels and taking his money...
    as I said before, I have addressed that (post 17)and I don't find hypocrisy in it at all. I am there to do my JOB. I have no control over what those men do or dont tell their wives IF they have one. Nor should I feel responsible for it.

    It's like someone blaming grey goose because someone drinks themselves to death on it. Or someone blaming a casino because a person has a gambling addiction.

    Casinos are not going to close because people have gambling addicitons.
    Alcohol is not going to stop being made because people have alcohol additions.
    and
    I am not going to stop selling lap dances to customers on the off chance they might have an "addiction" that is causing them to lie to their wife.

    It is not because I'm a hypocrite or I "don't care" about those wives, it is simply just not my responsibility.

  9. #33
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Not in this case since I am not advising the OP to act any differently than I did when I was married.

    I believe my previous post clarifies where I see the hypocrisy as it relates to this issue. I am not pointing fingers at anyone but the reality is you make money as a dancer by getting guys to spend it on you. Worrying about what is going on in your customer's personal life is not going to pay your bills.

    There have been several painful threads about what a dancer's responsibility is when it comes to emptying a guy's wallet at the club and I have always held the same opinion. Get as much as you can and walk him to the ATM is if you think you can get more.
    I mean that when you say hypocrisy is ugly, I assumed you meant you refused to be a hyprocrite.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  10. #34
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    I mean that when you say hypocrisy is ugly, I assumed you meant you refused to be a hyprocrite.
    Yes, sorry for misunderstanding your post.

    I wish I could take credit for never having acted like a hypocrite in my life. I can't. I doubt anyone can. But yes, you are correct, it is ugly and it's ugliness causes me to think before I act or, more importantly, judge others.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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  12. #35
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    Um yea, pretty much. So it disgusts you so much that you don't dance for these men huh??! Or do you actually believe a guy when he says he's not married (while his ring is in his pocket) OR do you believe them when they say, "yea my wife knows and she's TOTALLY cool with it."
    Well, seeing as I don't do LDs, no, I don't dance for those men in a personal way - but if that was part of my job, my disgust would have nothing to do with doing my job. Being disgusted by what men do in their private lives has no bearing on how I act.

    In a theoretical world where I do perform LDs, though - they're going to go to clubs whether I dance for them or not, there will always be a girl willing to take the money of someone that does things she does not morally agree with, and he might as well pay my bills as opposed to someone else's. Whether I do or whether I don't, he's lying to his wife. Disgusting, but not my problem, and not getting in the way of a job that has nothing to do with how much I like a man.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    So, only 1 in 100 custies are honest with their wives? Yes, that does disgust me.
    Then don't be a stripper. Oh wait, you're not are you?

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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    The girls here are looking at this from your wife's perspective. As a stripper, it doesn't matter to me what you do with your money, you're a grown-up and can spend your cash however you want. It isn't my place to say "Oh, I won't dance for you because your wife disapproves."
    QFT - but it's a slightly different question than the OP's one. His question is whether he should be in the SC in the first place. And I think the OP kinda knows he's stepped over a line within his marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by estuans View Post
    What are your views of married men clubbing too much?... I feel guilty doing this behind my wife's back, but it's my only chance to see and touch young women.
    As to your point about whether dancers should take his money - absolutely. It's not your job as a dancer to make moral judgments as to his suitability as a customer. It's your job to be an entertainer and to be paid accordingly.

    It's the OP's job to decide the rights and wrongs of his SC visits, not the that of the dancers who make money out of him.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I've totally stared at guys' wallets with lust in my heart
    J.D. explaining how she reacts to guys staring at her body with lust in their hearts....

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    A customer's personal life is not my fkn business.

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  17. #39
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by estuans View Post
    What are your views of married men clubbing too much? I've been happily married 15 years but from the first year of our marriage, I've been going to clubs. In time the frequency increased from once a month to two three times a week. On the one hand I feel guilty doing this behind my wife's back, but it's my only chance to see and touch young women. It's really exhilirating for me.
    Have you tried roleplaying with your wife? Would she dress up as a stripper and give you a lap dance? My current GF knows that I am very turned on by stripper wear and erotic dancing and she indulges me in this fantasy. She may not be a 20-something like the dancers in the SC, but she is a very beautiful woman with big boobs, and when she plays the role well it is extremely exhilirating... better than any dance at the SC, because it always ends with all the happy ending extras that I don't get at the SC.

    With all the pole dancing classes and strip aerobics in the mainstream these days, it shouldn't be offensive to ask for a little indulgence in this manner, unless she is really uptight.

    Having said that, I go to the SC about once a month. I've been on-again off-again with my GF for a long time and I need a little variety... If it weren't for the SCs, I'd probably end up cheating on her, so I've opted for the lesser of two evils.

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    The OP isn't really looking for views from dancers.
    He's looking for validation.
    And it's pretty obvious he's not gonna get it here.

    I am in a similar situation as the OP. I know that it's wrong, but I'm a big girl and have to accept any consequences that occur from my actions.

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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    ^ Sounds like a Blue follow up is in order because we get it.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Veteran Member chris91's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post

    What is hypocritical, and again this is an opinion as it relates to the topic at hand and not a personal attack on you or any other woman posting here, is telling a guy from behind a computer screen that he is doing something wrong and then going to work, putting on stripper heels and taking his money...
    I don't think you understand the meaning of the word hipocrisy:

    hy·poc·ri·sy (h-pkr-s)n. pl. hy·poc·ri·sies 1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
    2. An act or instance of such falseness.


    For her to be a hypocrite, she would have to be saying, "I think it's disgusting that dancers take money from guys who are lying to their wives."
    - SW members get 10% off with code SWEB

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  23. #43
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    Then don't be a stripper. Oh wait, you're not are you?
    I take my clothes off for money, but no, I wouldn't say I'm a stripper. The girls on this board don't need me debasing their work by pretending what I do is the same. But, I seem to notice some girls that are strippers being disgusted. Gee, guess they better quit. I mean to be disgusted on a regular basis, as a stripper, surely isn't normal.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  24. #44
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    I take my clothes off for money, but no, I wouldn't say I'm a stripper. The girls on this board don't need me debasing their work by pretending what I do is the same. But, I seem to notice some girls that are strippers being disgusted. Gee, guess they better quit. I mean to be disgusted on a regular basis, as a stripper, surely isn't normal.
    Its actually pretty normal. LOL. The longer you do it the more/easier you get disgusted too. The excitement of the money starts to wear off and you start to notice what asses most of the customers are. I am sure a lot of them a not bad in real life, but the club is not real life and to them you are "just a stripper". Sounds really negative I know, but this is the way it is. I mean I have a customer that is hideously ugly.... I mean gross. Is it not normal to think he is a bit ew??? Sometimes I think escorts are probably treated a lot better cause it is a totally different relationship. Escorts are giving something more...something a lot more. Hence you probably get a little more respect from the person on the recieving end. We cop a lot of shit because the customer often wants more but is not going to get it. It becomes a love-hate relationship. The associate the not-getting-any part with us thinking we are too good for them sometimes. Or that "just a stripper" attitude prevails and they can't figure out why we wouldn't want to suck their superior dick. pffffftttt Trust me. It gets old very fast. The trick is not letting it get to you, which is why we all bitch about it on this site. 99% are beautiful and lovely to our customers in person and then need to vent our frustrations somewhere... in comes SW. Thank you SW!

  25. #45
    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    Its actually pretty normal. LOL. The longer you do it the more/easier you get disgusted too. The excitement of the money starts to wear off and you start to notice what asses most of the customers are. I am sure a lot of them a not bad in real life, but the club is not real life and to them you are "just a stripper". Sounds really negative I know, but this is the way it is. I mean I have a customer that is hideously ugly.... I mean gross. Is it not normal to think he is a bit ew??? Sometimes I think escorts are probably treated a lot better cause it is a totally different relationship. Escorts are giving something more...something a lot more. Hence you probably get a little more respect from the person on the recieving end. We cop a lot of shit because the customer often wants more but is not going to get it. It becomes a love-hate relationship. The associate the not-getting-any part with us thinking we are too good for them sometimes. Or that "just a stripper" attitude prevails and they can't figure out why we wouldn't want to suck their superior dick. pffffftttt Trust me. It gets old very fast. The trick is not letting it get to you, which is why we all bitch about it on this site. 99% are beautiful and lovely to our customers in person and then need to vent our frustrations somewhere... in comes SW. Thank you SW!
    I was being hugely sarcastic, I know that it comes with the territory so I'm not sure why KS_Stevia felt the need to say I shouldn't be a stripper. And SW is preeeeeetty awesome.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  26. #46
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    I take my clothes off for money, but no, I wouldn't say I'm a stripper. The girls on this board don't need me debasing their work by pretending what I do is the same. But, I seem to notice some girls that are strippers being disgusted. Gee, guess they better quit. I mean to be disgusted on a regular basis, as a stripper, surely isn't normal.
    Burlesque is a completely different animals from being a stripper in a club, earning your money from lapdances. I know burlesque well, and its almost apples to oranges with stripping.

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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    Burlesque is a completely different animals from being a stripper in a club, earning your money from lapdances. I know burlesque well, and its almost apples to oranges with stripping.
    Yeah, precisely why I don't call myself a stripper.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    Then don't be a stripper. Oh wait, you're not are you?
    Cut the girl a break. I understand burlesque and stripping are two different things. But remember, most girls who are NOT dancers would feel disgusted.

    The infidelity doesn't disgust me ( I hardly see basic lap dancing as infidelity ) but the bargain basement guys do. Matter of fact it makes me so mad I want to flip the fuck out. But what disgusts one person and another are totally different.

  29. #49
    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    I was being hugely sarcastic, I know that it comes with the territory so I'm not sure why KS_Stevia felt the need to say I shouldn't be a stripper. And SW is preeeeeetty awesome.
    it doesn't always. i'm rarely disgusted, at least from work. i'm more disgusted with how human beings act in the "real world" than at my club. i really do like most of my club's guests though, esp KS_Stevia

    i would not be a stripper if i were disgusted by what's going on around me on a regular basis.

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    Default Re: Married but addicted to lap dances

    Quote Originally Posted by laurcon View Post
    it doesn't always. i'm rarely disgusted, at least from work. i'm more disgusted with how human beings act in the "real world" than at my club. i really do like most of my club's guests though, esp KS_Stevia

    i would not be a stripper if i were disgusted by what's going on around me on a regular basis.
    You're so lucky. I mean really. Dancing gave me serious, serious anger management issues.

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