^^ This all sounds progressively better. Just keep chilling out girl. Your posts make me dizzy!





^^ This all sounds progressively better. Just keep chilling out girl. Your posts make me dizzy!





See ....... I should have hooked up with the other room mate. The one I hooked up with has too much flexibility in his schedule. This is my time to be alone at the house ( usually ) and relax, surf net , do nails , do home pole ect. and he's here. I just wish he had somewhere to go , but he won't have regular stuff scheduled for another 10 days. So .... I'm upstairs in my room and he's downstairs. I just want to be ugly and slob out, but now I have to have cute yoga clothes on and wear makeup in my own home!
I worked a 12 hour day at my day job yesterday and D wanted lovin' when I got back. I was so exhausted. I remember telling him " this situation is not sustainable " as I was falling asleep on him!
I want R's super soft girl-like kisses.
Last edited by carmen_b; 01-16-2017 at 01:24 AM.










Oh ............... now R wants to get in touch. He just sent another email my way asking if I got his first one and if I'm ignoring him.





Who else is dating or recently single ? I want your stories too !










Oh I am. I may have have other irons in the fire, but he's the HOTTEST one.
I was planning to work both Fri. and Sat. I'm considering working Sat./Sun. now even though Sun. will be so s.l..o...w...
His days off are Fri. and Sat. I beleive.
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Ok, maybe someone can give me an opinion on this. I started dating a former customer. We met in a club I worked at 15 years ago and became friends after awhile, as in real friends. We stayed in touch for many years and were good friends who went out and did things (movies, dinner, etc). Years ago he wanted to be my boyfriend but at the time I just wanted to be friends (I was getting out of an emotionally abusive live in relationship). We lost contact around 10 years ago and recently reconnected. We found out we shared the same interests, goals, values, etc. When we saw each other sparks flew immediately and he asked me to be his girfriend. He even told a caller that he was with his girlfriend. Everything was going great, and he even mentioned future plans such as meeting my grandparents (he already knows my parents). He even mentioned eventually living together.
Sounds great, right? Not so fast. A few days ago he asked me to slow down, that I was making him nervous. I admit that I was a little aggressive telling him I couldn't wait until we made love. I didn't mention any future plans (too early for that). Then next time we spoke he said we need to slow down the pace because he wasn't ready to get serious YET. Ok, I agreed with that because right now I can't get really serious (by serious I mean engaged, living together or married). Fast forward to the other day. He told me that he likes me, is attracted to me, but he can't fall for anyone because he doesn't want to get hurt again, and seeing me reminded him of this. That he wants to tell me now before I fall in love with him. That he just wants to be just friends and still hang out. In 2006 he got into a relationship with a con artist who fleeced his money.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? I asked my dad about this and he said give it time, that he might come around, and that he was scared (he told my parents how much he liked me). I asked my sister in law and she said the same thing. She told me many stories of guy friends who liked a girl but were afraid of getting serious so they pulled the "just friends" and a few eventually got together. She also said my brother and her were "just friends" for years. She said to be with friends with him and give him space. In all my years dating I've never experienced this. I've experienced a few guys who wanted to be "just friends" because they weren't attracted (though not many of these guys), I've experienced guys who wanted to be FWB's but not date, and many guys who liked me but I didn't. I am going to give him time because I really like him, but I don't know if he'll ever overcome this fear. I've asked other people and they said to give up on him, but having experienced the same thing myself (dating a con artist) I know it took me years to get over the fear, but eventually did. There is no other woman (he told me that and I believe him).
Last edited by Kellydancer; 02-19-2010 at 12:25 AM.
ah.. I def know how you feel. it's been around 7 months since my last relationship and I'm still not over it. I dunno if I necessarily miss HIM, or even miss being in a relationship(I have so much fun being single) but dammit.. on nights like these I miss so much laying with him and falling asleep in his arms.
We ended on such terrible terms... he made me feel like I was absolutely nothing to him after the break up and if I were to share to you ladies all the things he did to me and said about me.. you'd see why I spend so much private time sulking.lol.
I have met a few guys here and there.. a couple of hook ups here and there.. but nothing near to how he made me feel.
I have a goal now.. that the next guy I meet that is serious.. I will NOT tell him about my dancing. and I will cut down on the partying. number one complaint from my exes is that I party/drink too much. blah.
You are inside my head! I am going through the same thing!Let me know what helps, I have my good days and bad days, lately I've been thinking about him a lot, and questioning if I made the right decision by breaking up and moving on, because no guy is like him. I then I have to slap myself and remember all the fucked up shit he did to me. It's an emotional struggle....
I know what you mean about the good and bad days. I get so mad at myself when I miss him, because how can I possibly miss someone so terrible.
Honestly, I don't know what helps. I try to stay busy but on nights where there's nothing to do and I'm laying in bed I always catch myself thinking about him.
good luck girl =) hope we find the men that we deserve.
.. or at the least the peace of mind we deserve.





^ STAY BUSY you guys. These men you are describing are NOT providing the relationship you want. Do other stuff ( friend outings / hobbies / get an action buddy ..... whatever ).





Confession time. I did that thing I said I'd never ever ever ever do. Yep...... went on a date with a club customer.
It went well ........ but still .............
He bought this huge string of dances ( my longest EVER actually ). I left work early on Sat. ( I already made goal + some ) to go eat with him and have a drink. I was totally careful ( I drove myself + called his drivers license number + name into my best friend for safety ). Eating and drinking isn't all that happened. Cuddling turned to kissing ....turned to hands under clothes ...... lol. I like really sensual men ( that kiss really soft / pay attention to your whole body instead of just girl parts ) and he's one of those ! I said I'd never ever ever ever ever do that. I dated a club customer is college ( I was an SC waitress in college ) and it was a disaster, so I held that rule FIRM for my stripper career until this weekend.
Fail. Stripper Fail.
I must say though ..... the chemisty is fucking awesome. I'm going to save my over analyzing for later ( or not at all ) on this one.
I'm kind of hesitant to post this, but keep in mind I've worked lots and this is a first time thing.
Last edited by carmen_b; 01-16-2017 at 01:26 AM.










I knew you'd say that! I know I'm not the *only* person to date a club custie, but it was such a hard and fast rule with me to leave all club happenings at the club that I am just being super careful of course.
And the evil stripper part me me is still like " man ..... I should have left him high and dry and worked the last couple hours of the night .... I could have finally joined the G club " .
Room mate and I are back to being just friends.
Last edited by carmen_b; 02-22-2010 at 02:30 PM.





Kelly :
I just re-read your note. Did you sleep with this guy already ? I ask because I wonder if he's gotten sex already and that's what he's not doing nice stuff like taking you on dates ect.
I don't know ......... I hate it when men aren't aggressive. I'm over R . His lack of pursuit turned me off even though he's a fabulous kisser. I can't wait until I see him again and he'll try to get all friendly and I get to say " Oh ...... no thanks. I really prefer a more aggressive men who invites me on dates ect. " . HaHaHa.





^ You don't think that's really juvenile?
Maybe he just has a different style than you.





IMO that's lying by omission. You need to give any good, decent man who is willing to be serious with you the opportunity to decide whether he can handle your chosen profession or not. Telling him later is going to piss him off and start your relationship with distrust.
For example, I would never date a man in the military. If I fell in love with him, and found out when I was already invested in the relationship, I would be heartbroken , pissed and would likely end it- not just because of his job, but because of the lying.
Just... no.





Maybe you are right. I guess I just found it sort of insulting that when we are together, he's happy to get cuddly, but then he didn't ask me out. I guess I just have a preference for planned / formal dates. So .... yeah......there isn't a reason to insult him. A better plan would be to say " I have a preference for planned dates. "





I don't think she meant not tell him about dancing at all. I thought she met just not telling him for 3-4 dates or something ( in order to let him get to know HER without the mis-perceptions about dancing swirling is his head ) .





I still think that's a first date talk for sure. Regardless of what we tell ourselves and each other, dancing is not "just another job".





^ But it IS. It's just a job.





I disagree. It may be "just a job" but it is way more laden with stigmas and occupational hazards than most other areas of "sales" or "customer service". Guys think about things like their girlfriends getting their asses slapped, their boobs grabbed ( or sucked in some clubs), rubbing their asses on someone. MOST men can NOT handle the idea, and however bad it looks on paper, magnify it by 100 and that's what's swirling in most of their heads.
Most men also go into protector mode when they really care about their girl. Say you have a bad day and disclose the details to your boyfriend. He is going to want to MURDER that guy who grabbed you, or licked you, or tried to shove his fingers in your thong.
Dating someone else in the adult industry has helped me ( so has working extremely part time, only when called in ), but I know for a fact that J hates to see me upset, as I hate to see him upset. I give men who can hang with what we do a LOT of credit- same as I give us a lot of credit for being able to put up with so much horse shit.
Each individual guy needs to have the opportunity to decide whether he can hang or not. It isn't like we're selling newspaper subscriptions, or even lingerie. We are ultimately selling individual attention and live fantasy- for a lot of customers that fantasy is sexual in nature, and a lot of guys are just not cool with that.
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