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Thread: Could I be bi?

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    Veteran Member DancingDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Could I be bi?

    All of my relationships have been with men. But working in the club and having bad experiences with men has got me thinking...Iv always been attracted to women but nothing ever went too far. I guess the opportunity never arose and if it did Im not sure what I would do. More and more Iv been having thoughts of being with a woman, actually getting turned on looking at women and thinking about them. Im still attracted to men and want to have sex with them, but for the most part their personalities and talking with them make me gag.

    Theres this girl at the club I work at who seems like she flirts with me. But Im not sure and really, women getting close to me makes me super nervous. I gave her my number and she will just call out of the blue to say "your such a good friend, I love you. If you ever need anything just call me." At the club she will hug me while Im undressed, come and tip me on stage, slap me on the but playfully, ect. Is she flirting with me? I mean, she has 4 kids...but her body is practically perfect. When she goes up on stage I cant take my eyes off her.

    I think I would like to try being with a woman but Im not sure what to do to pleasure another woman....what if I do it and figure out Im not bi and hurt someone? What should I do? Do I sound like I am bi? Iv thought about asking this girl out on a "date" but Im not sure how? Im really kinda feminine now but I really only like feminine girls. Now Im just rambling..Please share some advice

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    Senior Member amaliasnightout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    Better not to feel like you have to define your sexuality and just go with what feels "right" to you.
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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    I know a lot of dancers who love playing the games, flirting, acting up to drive the customers wild, but are not at all bi. Then there are the serious bisexuals who know damned well they are and play it for all it's worth. They tend to get all the action they want.

    Then there there are a lot who are in between to one extent or another. I know many dancers who don't want to have sex with women, but love the sensual experience of giving and/or getting dances to/from other women. I often oblige them when I am in another club, since I don't get dances myself (like last night a few times lol). Some just like that, some want to kiss and fool around a bit but nothing more.

    Sounds like you are in between but leaning towards it. I would say go with the flow but don't push it. Take it slow and see how you feel if you take another step towards actually experiencing it.

    But the women here will probably give you better advice.
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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    It seems you have at least a budding friendship at the moment. She did say to you: "your such a good friend, I love you. If you ever need anything just call me." Right now you need answers to some questions. Perhaps she could help? In a private moment you could broach the subject like this: "Can I ask you a personal question?"...."Have you ever been with a woman?" See what she says. It may lead to you expressing the things you've been feeling about women lately...the attraction you feel for women....and the questions you have about your sexuality. Your friend may be able to enlighten you.

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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by amaliasnightout View Post
    Better not to feel like you have to define your sexuality and just go with what feels "right" to you.
    Best words, it is as simple as this!!

    Don't get hung up on the label, dear! Just go with the flow and test out the waters
    "Every experience is a lesson. Every loss is a gain."


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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    Also OP- just because you fixed your sink once or twice doesn't make you a plumber, y'know?

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    Banned demonika's Avatar
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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    ^^Well said. I am using that in the future when people want to smack the 'bi' label on me. I used to steal what my aunt used to say back in the 80s to people when she would hook up with a girl. "I am not gay, I'm game."

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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    Yes she is hitting on you in my opinion... I do it all the time to girls at work. Sometimes I am being serious and sometimes I am not, but you better believe either way if they reciprocate I'll jump on that so fast.

    I agree with above you don't have to worry about labels. If it feels good, do it I say. It's also not strange to just notice an attraction now. I was always attracted to women, but never admitted it to anyone or explored it until I started dancing. I guess seeing all the naked ladies made me realize there was nothing to be afraid of.

    As for actually doing it, no one "knows" what they are doing anyway. Every woman is different and has different likes and dislikes. The best way to find out if what you are doing is right is to ask. If you are too shy to ask, then listen to them the same way you do a man. What noises does she make? Anyone can read moans and body language. Pay attention to this. Also I find with women they often use a technique on you that they like. They think if they like it, you will too, so that's a good place to start.

    I doubt you have to worry about hurting her. If she has 4 kids she is most likely leaning on the straight side. (I could be wrong). But she is probably just looking for some fun.

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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    I think I might go with what hockeybobby said and kinda feel her out first. When I get up the nerve. Id hate to hit on her and her not me bi or lesbian and make her feel uncomfortable and ruin the friendship. Oh, and she made me a cake for my birthday and brought it to the club

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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    ^just flirt back. If she is experienced, she will do all the work.

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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by DancingDaisy View Post
    Oh, and she made me a cake for my birthday and brought it to the club
    4 kids or not, I think she likes you. Flirt a little more heavily back, you'll find out soon enough.
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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    ^just flirt back. If she is experienced, she will do all the work.
    So true.
    We experienced ladies are always eager to take the lead, especially when flirting with a "newbie"

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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    Yes she is hitting on you in my opinion... I do it all the time to girls at work. Sometimes I am being serious and sometimes I am not, but you better believe either way if they reciprocate I'll jump on that so fast.
    You sound like one of my best friends. She gets so much action at work. Any chance she gets to kiss a girl or eat some pussy and she is there LOL. She even went down on her ex boyfriend's ex girlfriend (and mother of his child) LOL. The chick came into my friends work and she took her home HAHA.
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    Veteran Member UV69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    I think I would like to try being with a woman but Im not sure what to do to pleasure another woman....

    Well the way I see it if you have ever masturbated you have pleased a woman and probably have been for most your adult life. Women all have the same equipment you do so you should have an idea on what feels good to you not that all women are the same, but you should have a few ideas.


    what if I do it and figure out Im not bi and hurt someone?

    Well what if you do it with any1 else and you realize they are not for you and you hurt their feelings? It's the same thing in away it happens, but you will never know unless you try right.


    What should I do?

    About your friend -- I say talk to her about it or flirt a little it can't hurt. It's not that different then talking to anyone else you like just be yourself and drop some clues so she knows.


    Do I sound like I am bi?

    You sound bi curious to me


    Iv thought about asking this girl out on a "date" but Im not sure how?

    How about just seeing if she want to meet up before or after work like say invite her to go some where to eat. I always did breakfast with other dancers I liked as we got out at 6in the mourning and we were always hungry so it was only casual to hit ihop after our shift. Or I invited them to go shopping to pick out outfits at the mall or sexshop which meant I was being either being girlie girl social or i wanted to possible have dressing room fun =).

    Im really kinda feminine now but I really only like feminine girls. Now Im just rambling..Please share some advice

    I date only femmes and many date only femmes -- hell I few mistaken me for a fem cuz they meet me while I was dating so they assumed I was always the same girlie girl I was onstage. Anyhow no1 says a girl has to be butch or into butches to like girls .

    I party once a month with the bliss girls and they are mostly those really beautiful bisexual women who enjoy having a boyfriend and girlfriends/female lovers on the side. Not that all bisexuals need to date both, but thats just what their preferences are. I personally would never date a bisexual or bi curious girl who wanted to date others while dating me, but that's just me.

    I have however dated lots of bi girls and while sometimes when they are coming out or never had a girlfriend/female lover before it could turn out where I got my feelings really hurt as they didn't want to tell their families or decided they loved me, but couldn't afford to lose their jobs type of issues came up which really suxed for me. Still That's just life and sometimes people just aren't ready doesn't mean I regretted what I did have with them just cuz it didn't work out as I wanted. Gay, bi, or str8 thats still the same when feelings are involved.

    Anyhow hope that helped and as for the whole butchaphobia where you feel the need to explain how you are not into butches -- it's one thing for me to say I'm into thinner women, but I think it would be mean and kinda hurtful to say I don't like fatt chicks to just to explain what I'm saying.

    I happen to be one of those butch chicks and when I strip I hear it everyday when I tell some1 I'm a lesbian most say" it's ok cuz you are a beautiful sexy fem and then go on about how ugly scary butch women are"... but i'm not I'm actually a very sexy beautiful butch girl who walks out of the club and gets called sir and mistaken for a 16yr old boy all the time 2 just cuz people are ignorant when it comes to looks and too many judge by the cover. It suxs to always have to hear how either unattractive butches are to people even though I never asked any of them to tell me (even though they think they are not insulting me and complementing me as an attractive woman who in their minds is fem) or be dismissed like I'm a guy cuz people have such a limited view in what butch and female really is.

    But that's just my personal rant on that even though I prefer femmes myself so I totally understand having that preference I just don't feel the need to say I don't like butches, men, bimbos, snobs, and so on
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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    You sound like one of my best friends. She gets so much action at work. Any chance she gets to kiss a girl or eat some pussy and she is there LOL. She even went down on her ex boyfriend's ex girlfriend (and mother of his child) LOL. The chick came into my friends work and she took her home HAHA.
    Your friend sounds awesome. Ohhhh the trouble we could have together. Funny thing is I never do shit like that for the customers benefit. They just get lucky enough to be around when it happens. One time another dancer and I stayed in the private rooms and made out after the customer left. Didn't even do it in front of him haha. They always think its fake. I can't figure out why. I guess cause I can seem uptight and nerdy at times. But I am a gemini ... I'll be slutty one minute and a prude the next.

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    Default Re: Could I be bi?

    Hockeybobby gave perfect advice, and others followed it. Sit down and tell her in confidence exactly what you said here. She will JUMP at the chance to help, either as friend (if she's not hitting on you which is highly unlikely, lol) or as a lover (if she is hitting on you, which she CLEARLY is).

    LOL @ Mediocrity's post...

    UV69 - reading your post reminded me SO MUCH of a friend I had in Utah years ago. Cute as all hell girl, identified as a lesbian, very "butch" and everyone thought she was a boy, to the point where she just went with it most of the time, lol. The ONE time I ever saw her in a dress and makeup, she was beautiful as a "girl" - and weirdly, I was the only guy in our circle of friends that wasn't shocked, lol. I'd always seen that under the jerseys and sagging shorts and sneakers. Cute is cute. Anyway - to the point - I think a lot of people when they refer to "butch" women in a negative light like that, they don't really mean you, or my friend from way back when. There's a scary, overweight, buzzcut and army boots kind of butch chick that kinda set the stereotype as I'm sure you know, lol. A manager at my last corporate job was like that, and I gotta say - as a COMPLETELY straight guy, I'd fuck a man before I'd hook up with her, LMAO. Some of those girls play the butch thing up to where they wear their masculinity more aggressively than most men. Anyway, I think you know what I mean so I'm just rambling now, lol. :o

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