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Thread: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    ^^^
    while this is true, recently on my professional placement (I had to work at a law firm for 3 weeks) it was so refreshing to be around men and be talking about normal things that were not sexual in nature. It was also nice to be around intelligent people.

    Sometimes I just get so over talking about sex and having to humour someone's sick shit.
    I don't blame you at all, this is one of the most common problems in the clubs. I know in the old clubs I worked at in Daytona the girls would be crying hysterically sometimes the guy would get so bad. I assumed it was because these were mostly clubs where extras were going on a lot and the guys were trying to grope them etc.--literally sexual assault in any other venue or atmosphere, but just part of the job in the stripclubs.

    Yet another reason the people who say 'it's just a job like any other' are way off base. No other job has guys getting their dicks rubbed on and then they try to shove their fingers up a girls ass when she bends over nude in front of them. There are other reasons, but let's leave it at that.

    But you know what? (getting back to the point, sorry) It's not just the physical groping and sexual assault. It's the disgusting, insulting, fucking gross shit some of these guys spew out their mouths on a nightly basis. I have had dancers hysterically crying down here where it is very clean as well--because of shit these guys are saying.

    And sorry, not all guys are wanting to say that shit. Not me. And not anyone who has been raised to be a fucking gentleman. We might find a woman sexually attractive, but we believe that a little style and class are called for when dealing with them.
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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Nonetheless, getting back to the OP. I have known many, many women who have trouble getting out of the industry, even if they are clearly sick to death of certain aspects of it. It can also be a problem for some of the male staff I think, but it's a bit different.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    ^^^
    while this is true, recently on my professional placement (I had to work at a law firm for 3 weeks) it was so refreshing to be around men and be talking about normal things that were not sexual in nature. It was also nice to be around intelligent people.

    Sometimes I just get so over talking about sex and having to humour someone's sick shit.
    Then why don't you get out and practice law? I promise, its not that tough a transition....after a few weeks I was easily able to adapt to working more hours and the decrease in pay. You just learn to budget better.

    Right now I miss stripping but only because the economy is shit here and I can't even find a job that would pay a decent salary at all.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    wouldn't the pressure to stay in shape and beautiful be a net plus? which i would think might often be more motivation than a typical real world job. The reason I ask is because Southwest Airlines was sued a few decades back by some female flight attendants who claimed they were being unfairly and unlawfully discriminated against because there were no similar weight requirements on pilots which at that time were about 95% male. Of couse they won the case. and every other airline had to back off its weight limits.

    Then a number of years later, it turns out many F/A's wished the limits were never taken off, beause as bad as they were, it forced them to keep in shape, and undoing weight gain is often much harder than maintaining something that is ongoing.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    Then why don't you get out and practice law? I promise, its not that tough a transition....after a few weeks I was easily able to adapt to working more hours and the decrease in pay. You just learn to budget better.

    Right now I miss stripping but only because the economy is shit here and I can't even find a job that would pay a decent salary at all.
    I'm saving for a deposit to buy my own house by the end of this year. That won't be possible on a first year solicitor's salary which is in the low to mid $50k range.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Good luck jazaine! I was able to save for the deposit on a house on a similar professional salary (was making about $60K USD) but that was back when the mortgage market was "easy" and I didn't really have to put much down ($12K only on a $115K property). It would certainly be tougher now, plus AUS real estate is much more costly than here.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    ^Um ya significantly more expensive. In Melb where Jai lives $115K might not even get you a studio apartment and thats with no car space. I live in a 2 bed terrace in Sydney. Tiny tiny tiny and its worth about $900K.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    I don't blame you at all, this is one of the most common problems in the clubs. I know in the old clubs I worked at in Daytona the girls would be crying hysterically sometimes the guy would get so bad. I assumed it was because these were mostly clubs where extras were going on a lot and the guys were trying to grope them etc.--literally sexual assault in any other venue or atmosphere, but just part of the job in the stripclubs.

    Yet another reason the people who say 'it's just a job like any other' are way off base. No other job has guys getting their dicks rubbed on and then they try to shove their fingers up a girls ass when she bends over nude in front of them. There are other reasons, but let's leave it at that.

    But you know what? (getting back to the point, sorry) It's not just the physical groping and sexual assault. It's the disgusting, insulting, fucking gross shit some of these guys spew out their mouths on a nightly basis. I have had dancers hysterically crying down here where it is very clean as well--because of shit these guys are saying.

    And sorry, not all guys are wanting to say that shit. Not me. And not anyone who has been raised to be a fucking gentleman. We might find a woman sexually attractive, but we believe that a little style and class are called for when dealing with them.
    I'm not much of a crier, but I am sure this is what is causing my anxiety. Or at least contributing to it. I only started working sat nights again and the sat night crowd really makes me want to vomit. They are the scum of the earth. So mean and I am not usually sensitive. They have caused me to lose all faith in men and I am married to an awesome guy. I'm like, "You probably think that shit and just don't say it. You are all the same. grrrrr". He disagrees...thank god.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    ^^ Duuuuude I was the same way. The first time J and I slept together, the next day he told me he liked me and I said "Whatever. You just like the sex."

    Thank goodness afterwards he said "No. I like YOU." to my snotty ass or I'd have seriously missed out.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    Nonetheless, getting back to the OP. I have known many, many women who have trouble getting out of the industry, even if they are clearly sick to death of certain aspects of it. It can also be a problem for some of the male staff I think, but it's a bit different.
    Yep. I have a friend that DJ'd at a strip club for 5 years while he finished school. It is now a serious problem for him to find a job. He was a music major, and the steady work available is in teaching. Like anyone is going to hire him to teach with that long of a record in a strip club.

    He is currently teaching in community college, but that doesn't pay the bills.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    ^Um ya significantly more expensive. In Melb where Jai lives $115K might not even get you a studio apartment and thats with no car space. I live in a 2 bed terrace in Sydney. Tiny tiny tiny and its worth about $900K.
    Yeh for what I am looking at I need to get a loan for $350k so my deposit needs to be substantial and I don't want to only have the minimum for my deposit either. It's so difficult trying to do this on my own but I want something to show for my stripping!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    Yeh for what I am looking at I need to get a loan for $350k so my deposit needs to be substantial and I don't want to only have the minimum for my deposit either. It's so difficult trying to do this on my own but I want something to show for my stripping!!
    That's absolutely great jazaine, best of luck, hope you're almost there!

    I have nothing to show from my stripping years, at least financially. I did payoff one car and got someone to give me another, had lots of fun travel stories, partied with celebrities . Oh, plus I got my undergraduate university degree debt free and finished my master's degree in 2 years instead of 4, had I had to work full-time.

    But I wish I had some more investment growth assets to show...just a small townhome and an even smaller portfolio

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    Is it true? I'm thinking of my old fave, we've been friends-only for 2 years now. Before then, when I used to go see her, she would talk about graduating college, getting a paralegal job, or going to law school, and her excitement and fear of making the transition to post-college and post-stripping life. She always said she didn't want to be a "career stripper" and would hate herself if she did.

    Fast-forward 2 years...the only thing that's happened is she has graduated. No other job. No law school. And I've noticed, of the friends she talks about going out with, the ones talking back and forth with her on FB, they are becoming more and more just those from the club only. It's like her life has gone from 30% club, with her hopes it would soon be 0%, to 90% club, with no prospects of transitioning in the near future, in the 2 years after college.

    Is transitioning really that hard? It seems like she's slipping into this life she didn't want. Of course, nothing I can do about it, but still worries me a little.
    Any type of transition is hard in life. High school to college, college 2 grad school, grad school to work, job 1 to job 2, its all hard. Heck project 1 to project 2 is hard as customers seem to all be nuts (the yelling/fighting is the only constant).

    As for social networks online, they can be addicting.
    Have we not heard the chimes at midnight?

    Once more, unto the breach, dear friends.

    If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

    -- Its always amazed me how no one learns the lines from Shakespeare. I guess it is true that people don't learn history's lessons until something become's their history.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    I haven't even been dancing that long (3.5 years)....but I think I can still answer the OP.

    My experience: I'm currently trying to transition out of dancing, and it is SO hard. My reason for transitioning (slowly) out: At this point, I feel like I'm just hoarding my money. I put some of it in my IRA and whatnot, but I technically have no reason to continue dancing. I've gotten comfortable in my life (with the reasoning that, as long as I'm making money, then everything's fine), and I need to force myself to do things that will help my future plans (since I'm not a career stripper).

    I recently got an internship...and it's pretty crazy how difficult it's been for me. In my job at the strip club, I get rewarded (immediately and monetarily) for being snarky (guys love strippers who talk back...I bank off of standing up to CEO's), being 100% myself (I'm sarcastic, smart, etc), and a plethora of other qualities. At my internship (unpaid), I am not appreciated (expected, since I'm a lowly intern) and things work best when I keep to myself completely.

    Stripping involves a set of skills that are extremely unique and aren't really appreciated in most other professions. Our jobs require CONSTANT selling, the ability to achieve camaraderie instantly with strangers, and we command the attention of everyone in the room (ideally). When we're making money, we're being uber confident, witty, et cetera.

    I'm amazed at how difficult it has been for me to transition into an internship where I'm not appreciated completely. I am not at all narcissistic/egocentric, yet stripping has clearly impressed onto my personality certain traits that aren't appreciated elsewhere (though they might be later, as I ascend the chain of command).

    Transitioning out of stripping means finding out that the world doesn't care about you like you thought it did. You aren't as smart as your customers tell you you are, your beauty doesn't make everyone like you, and no one cares that you can pull in $700+ a night at X club. It really has been a huge wake-up call for me.

    I'm forcing myself to work only once every two weeks (though it kills me to see that much money-making potential get wasted) just because it's healthier for me. I need to focus on school, interning, and volunteering: things that can help my future instead of the instant gratification that stripping gives me. It is very difficult.

    I mean...I feel behind in the real world NOW...even though I'm still a student! Some women dance for 10+ years and try to get a straight job with a 10 year gap on their resumes PLUS the transitioning problems I've mentioned.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    My experience with transitioning out of stripping has seriously humbled me. Now when I see women who are still in the job (and not the superstrippers who are pulling in thousands a night, but the women who sit in the corner, barely make minimum wage, and bitch the whole time), I judge much less.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Charlie, where are you interning?

    I have noticed that unless you have a husband/wife who works, kids, or School, that long of a gap on a resume really does make a difference. I have heard other strippers bitch about it, and they have nothing to say to a potential employer about what they were doing, because career-wise, stripping WAS all they were doing. It can hurt you.

    To the OP, I would suggest to your stripper-friend that she do something outside of stripping to put on her resume, if nothing else.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    I had an internship at a major publishing house fall into my lap by the grace of god. My lack of experience hasn't really hurt me yet: I'm still very young and have college to fall back on as an excuse for my lack of work history. But entering the 'legitimate' world has made me a million times more aware of how crucial it is to have experience and whatnot. The other day I applied for scholarships that asked me what I'd been doing with myself, and I was like....mrh??

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    ^^
    u should just lie and say u have been travelling overseas. Colleges and employers love hearing that coz it makes u sound worldly and versatile.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    I have found that most often, the transition is difficult because (as others have mentioned) the dancer can't find a decent job after she graduates or what have you. It's not always because she's "addicted" to dancing. In fact, that seems to be the rarer case. Although some (like myself) continue to do it for longer than expected because of the flexible schedule alone. I wanted to quit after 2 years, but I can't find a job with a flexible schedule (I'm in school full time) that pays decent enough for me to survive on. Being as close as I am to a BA, I don't want to stop now. So, on one hand I am completely burnt out and -done- with stripping. On the other, I honestly can't think of another way to make it work. As it is, I put in about 30 hours a week in the club, and I -barely- have enough time on my hands to do all my homework, study, go to classes, etc. I can't imagine being able to keep up if I had a full time regular job with a strict schedule. I'm sure my grades would slip, and that's not acceptable.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    ^^
    u should just lie and say u have been travelling overseas. Colleges and employers love hearing that coz it makes u sound worldly and versatile.
    Yeah, that's a good idea. I think I'll just be honest though. I'm young enough (21) that the gap doesn't require a lie. I think it's healthiest for me to just fess up to not having done anything and get back on the proverbial horse. It feels right.

    I'm still going to strip, but just less often. Time to get my priorities straight.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    Being as close as I am to a BA, I don't want to stop now.
    Woa. Is there another thread where you talk about this? I want to discuss this further w/o threadjacking.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by WestCoast101 View Post
    wouldn't the pressure to stay in shape and beautiful be a net plus? which i would think might often be more motivation than a typical real world job. The reason I ask is because Southwest Airlines was sued a few decades back by some female flight attendants who claimed they were being unfairly and unlawfully discriminated against because there were no similar weight requirements on pilots which at that time were about 95% male. Of couse they won the case. and every other airline had to back off its weight limits.

    Then a number of years later, it turns out many F/A's wished the limits were never taken off, beause as bad as they were, it forced them to keep in shape, and undoing weight gain is often much harder than maintaining something that is ongoing.
    Yes it is definitely a net plus, and the reason my new business is fitness. I CANNOT do any job that requires a lot of sitting. I was a weakling before I started a dancing and I feel like a weakling whenever I stop. For anyone concerned that they won't have the motivation to stay fit anymore, I guess just look for jobs where that is still important.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    I'm on the opposite spectrum .. I am 38, already graduated from school, worked the 'career' for a while, started a business that I still enjoy and am successful at..

    ..and this is just a personality thing but I've learned that the 'career' life was not for me..I didn't like having to be up every day at 5 and come home every evening, make dinner, have weekends off. BORING. It wasn't for me even before I discovered that I can strip.

    So this is a lifestyle choice (dancing)..I like the hours, I like the opportunity to work on my body and keep it fit, I like learning new tricks, I love learning how to hustle ..I see it as an opportunity to branch into OTHER things when I'm "too old to dance" such as producing videos, writing a book, teaching classes..maybe even managing a club. Or how about vending dance items. I see dancing as a completely new opportunity that opens new doors I didn't really consider beforehand.

    True, the 'career' is always something I can refresh and fall back on. But it's a safety net or a what if I can't do it with other means. I think you should first look at what kind of lifestyle you want..what hours do you like to keep? Do you like to work nights or have three days off a week? If more of us chose careers based on what type of lifestyle we liked I think there may be more longevity in keeping that job. My career has a certain amount of flexibility and is in high demand..but at least right now the demands are too rigid.

    With dancing, I get to focus my days on eating healthy, sleeping right, spending time with my boy, practicing dance, basically having fun. I've worked too many shifts and am now enjoying the fun time.

    About skills...yes I can imagine that listing 'stripper' on a resume might not go over so well. How about highlighting the skills you have learned AS a stripper..for one, call yourself an entertainer, you are great in social situations, you work well as a team, you get along with co-workers, you have design skills, you are flexible (lol), you are a great salesperson, in fact you are a great people person.

    I don't think stripping should ever be something anyone should be ashamed of..I don't care for the term "I'm using stripping to better myself" ...you are already better. Sure, it will be easier to get a corp job if you leave out the stripper jobs (maybe) but don't necessarily think the grass is greener in the career world. I do hear that women are worried about what their skills will be when re-entering a working world. I hear ya. But it's not impossible. I took a ten year hiatus from my 'career' and stepped right back in within two months of sending out resumes. MARKET YOURSELF. BE THE CONFIDENT DANCERS YOU ARE ON STAGE. ACT THE PART.

    ps I just turned down a 'career' job to strip! No regrets.

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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Yeah, that's a good idea. I think I'll just be honest though. I'm young enough (21) that the gap doesn't require a lie. I think it's healthiest for me to just fess up to not having done anything and get back on the proverbial horse. It feels right.

    I'm still going to strip, but just less often. Time to get my priorities straight.
    You don't have to lie, exactly.

    I'd say you had been doing sales work with high commissions, or had your own business selling stuff. It's true. And goddamn what's harder than walking up to a table of guys who might be total assholes and hustling them out of their money anyway. That's sheer sales ability right there. If they ask exactly what you were selling, say lingerie or something. Maybe wholesale goods, commodities, whatever. Something you know about and is worth money.
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    Default Re: The stereotype that it's hard to get out of the life

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    The other day I applied for scholarships that asked me what I'd been doing with myself, and I was like....mrh??
    How about turning your stripping experience into a sociology or psychology senior thesis regarding society, pyschology and human sexuality...
    Last edited by jack0177057; 02-26-2010 at 05:25 PM.

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