K so I'd never heard of these two things until I googled my symptoms today and discovered I definitely suffer from this.
I realize now I am having massive anxiety issues which is just a pain in the ass. I don't want it! grrrrr. I had mild anxiety when I was a teen, but it went away and I haven't had it in years. I have started having anxiety attacks in Sept last year again.
Today I wake up and I feel really weird. I go have breakfast at the mall with hubby and feel weird there. Kinda like I'm there but not really. Its kinda hard to breath but not too bad, but I feel a little like I'm drunk or something. As the day goes on I feel worse and worse. When we get home I'm completely fucked. I think I'm going insane. I feel like I've totally left my body. I feel heavy and light at the same time. I tell hubby I need to lay down. I feel like Im being sucked into the bed. I look around the room and my depth perception is completely gone. Objects look like they are breathing. I am so confused because I've been really healthy the last few weeks and I'm scared I'm going nuts. I pinch myself as hard as I can and I cannot feel a thing. I end up googling "feeling out of my body" and find this....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization
Suddenly I realize it is all in my head. I am relieved to know its not psychosis. I have a paranoia about going nuts cause my aunt is schizophrenic. I don't know why I worry about it cause if it really happens I don't think you even know you are crazy so it doesn't bother you. I end up asking hubby to fuck my brains out so I can feel something. Have a nap and feel a little better after but it still takes me several hours to get back to 100%. I went to work and tried not to drink as not to aggravate my already fragile state. I was an angry bitch and making no money so ended up having a few drinks and felt much better.
I'm sure my anxiety is work-related but I can't stop dancing (for financial reasons). I actually like stripping I just have some irrational fear of judgement and rejection. I never had it before but each day it gets worse and worse.
I hope that these episodes are not going to become a regular thing. Has anyone else ever had something similar? How did you deal with it?



Reply With Quote



Bookmarks