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Thread: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

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    Default Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Working last night, one of the really good looking dancers came in to the locker room, obviously upset.
    I ask her what was wrong and she tells me she's being hassled on stage.

    And something occurs to me.

    I feel like I've not gotten any hassle at all (at least not directly, I know that girls and custies talk behind my back) but only very seldomly in my face.

    Now, I'm a heavy girl. I love myself and I don't give a shit about what other people think about me, but I would understand why somebody would give me shit. Besides having a 'stereotype' (if you can really call it that) of how a stripper should look like there's the expectations of the customers who pay cover to come in to the club.

    But bitching about fine, lovely ladies is nothing but bullshit and it makes me puzzled why I only get minimal hassle and I feel like everyone around me (stunning girls, too!) are getting asshole pie from the customers.

    Do you feel like you've seen this too? How much BS do you encounter?
    Am I imagining this or do other people just vocalize their problems more?

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    It's the men playing them. They want to stand out to the dancer, so instead of telling them how beautiful they are, their rude, hoping for more attention.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    I second that. Plus some guys like to try to see how bad they can fluster pretty girls b/c they know they have no shot in hell at getting some from one.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    I don't think this only happens in the club. I was downright fat after I had my son and in that two year period I only heard nasty comments from strangers TWICE. Then I went to normal "mom" body and I never got any insuts.

    Now, I'm in really good shape and I hear crap all the time. I've overheard women at my son's school whispering about how I have an eating disorder. I've gotten dirty looks from women in the grocery store and god help me if I say no thank you to any offers from a man because then I'm a "ugly stuck-up fucking bitch".

    I think most people believe that attractive women in good shape need to be "taken down a notch" when in reality we get even more shit because of this very attitude.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    god help me if I say no thank you to any offers from a man because then I'm a "ugly stuck-up fucking bitch".
    I know exactly what you're talking about! I see it all the time, guys try to sweet talk you and then when you reject them they call you the nastiest name they can think of. Personally I kinda enjoy it, because I hate being hit on and this way I know I got under their skin.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    .....
    Last edited by Harlequin_Phoenix; 05-25-2011 at 10:40 PM.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    I haven't experienced this. I have been made fun of by customers and 'everyday' people but its not a usual occurence. Every stripper has gotten hassled by some customer, even the good looking and fit. Some guys just want to be dicks, and don't really care what she looks like.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

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    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
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    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Yeh some guys just want to be assholes and jealousy can cause some really cruel behaviours from other people.
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    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Customers complain when I reach a normal toned weight. "You're too thin" "Do you eat" "I feel like I should buy you a cheeseburger instead of a dance"...
    I actually have to stay pudgy to make money.
    I don't fucking get it at all.
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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    ^^This may be because it is more acceptable to make comments about someone being too skinny or being a stick. Its not ok to call someone fat or insinuate that someone is fat. You just look like more of an asshole if you say that a dancer is fat cow, than if you say someone is too skinny. Its rude either way. A really tiny dancer had a customer ask her, "So do you work out all the time or do you just never eat anything." She is very skinny but it looks right on her and she is very small in general. She doesn't look anorexic or unhealthy like some of the other dancers I've seen. She was really offended, and said, "If I were fat you wouldn't ask me if I ate all the time, or do I just never get off the couch." He admitted that and apologized. Yeah I've seen customers make fun of bigger/ugly dancers, but they are not usually as upfront about it as they are with pretty/skinny dancers I guess. Most of the comments were much worse for the bigger less attractive dancers however.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    I've noticed when I'm super toned and have clavicles and hipbones sticking out I've gotten called thick or chunky...but never have when I've actually BEEN a bit heavy! Dunno wtf is up with that. I always thought it was that I'm curvy. Even when I weigh about 85lbs I've still got a pinup build so I still look "thick" but when I'm heavier I just look fat and they aren't quiet mean enough to call an actual fat person fat.

    Or I could go with the old standard... Men are weird.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Well I think part of it comes down to 2 things 1--it's mean to pick on the weight of some1 who is over weight in society where it's not considered as mean to comment on the some1 who isn't. 2cd if some1 is wanting to be mean and using weight to do so calling a fat girl fat who doesn't seem to care about her weight doesn't carry the impact as calling a girl who is obsessed with her body image anything less then prefect.

    I know an ex of mine was one of those girls with the prefect body who's ego was wrapped up in her hotness that when some1 said she looked like she put on 5lbs she started to flipout and get all ed on me, but I had noclue when she asked me if it was true that she would react that way cuz in my eyes those 5lbs looked great on her. Now that she's my ex and years have pasted (and I noticed she put on a few extra pounds on her) I sort of laugh to myself when I see her cuz I know if I would mention how much better she used to look (even though it's only a matter of about 15lbs and my ex is still of course totally beautiful) that she would just die over it. So just cuz we ended badly I and I happen to know that about her I'm just naturally temped to pick on her weight (not even becuz I see anything wrong with it), but just cuz I know it would bother the hell out of her.

    My other ex who had gained weight while we were together who didn't have the same obsessive body image and actually is heavier set I never said 1 thing to her about her weight even when I was upset at her--1st cuz I thought it was means being that she was heavier then me and actually has a weight issue 2cd I happen to know that she would say so what and just be upset at me for being mean to her about it instead of taking it all personal and getting insanely upset at herself about it.
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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    If a dude called me fat I would flip my proverbial shit. I also consider being called thick a serious insult. Cultural I think.

    Maybe they just don't have the balls to insult a girl who might be able to take them.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    ^ That's funny because I always say I'm "heavy" and people argue with me about it, but I mean literally heavy, like, not fat or anything. I can be anorexic and still heavy because I have tons of muscle in my thighs and butt.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    I get insulted when people call me thick too. They say it's a compliment, but it's really not to me. Customers I think tend to insult the girls they know they do not have a chance in hell with. I never understood why I would use every hustle technique in the book, but would not get a dance but the fugly chick would get the dance 2 seconds later. I've been called every name in the book by customers, and I think it's because I work in an area with verrry few and far between good looking dancers. It's really hard to deal with some times I'll be that girl upset in the dressing room because of rude customers. I'm just slowly learning to let it go...or just make a smart ass comment back to them and get them kicked out!
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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    I never noticed either way, honestly. Maybe cuz my club does not have high standards, so the variety is extemely high withstrung out on speed looking girls to girls who are almost fat. Some girls don't wear make-up and have their dirty hair in a bun on the top of their head, wearing regular cut-off jean shorts and a wifebeater, and other girls look like glamour models. No point in giving a girl shit there, I guess.
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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    I don't think it's so much a skinny/thick thing as it is an "unattainable" or "intimidating" thing. I find that girls who seem intimidating (for whatever reason) get more bitching-at/harassing by customers. The customer automatically assumes they are bitchy/stuck up and feels defensive.. so he lashes out. The dancers who look girl-next-door or more down to earth don't get it nearly as much, IMO.

    but I want to clarify that I'm not talking about "level of attractiveness". I'm speaking purely on an -overall- look/appeal sort of level.

    IOW:

    "she looks sweet/nice/innocent.... so I will be nice to her"

    "she looks like a stuck up bitch.... so I will give her shit"

    although of course WE know that sometimes the sweetest looking girls are the nastiest cunts and sometimes the toughest/serious looking girls are down to earth.

    but customers often times don't think that way. Trust me, I'm one of those girls who hears she's intimidating/looks serious/etc allllll the time.. even when I smile. It's just the way I look.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Wow! Thank you for explaining this phenomenon to me! I have this asshole customer who tells me I'm not the best on stage, gets a lapdance and then tells me it wasn't very good but then comes back for more...he clearly likes me and I KNOW I am the best in the club so I was completely confused by his comments! This at least explains it a little more!

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Some guys take every opportunity they can to try and take girls down a notch.

    The best thing any one can do is ignore it.




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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick View Post
    ^^This may be because it is more acceptable to make comments about someone being too skinny or being a stick. Its not ok to call someone fat or insinuate that someone is fat.
    THIS. HOLY SHIT.

    thank you, school nurse, who insisted on showing me photoshopped pictures of anorexic models, implying that i was going to turn out like them. thank you, entire fucking world who thinks its okay to accuse me of having an eating disorder, AND IT BE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE. thank you, obese people of america, my 97 lb frame is considered the enemy, even though i eat right, exercise, and, according to my doctor, right where i should be, weight wise.

    ughhhhh this "don't call them fat, it's rude" thing makes me SO mad.
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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    I wouldn't say I am "really good looking", but I'm skinny and put a lot of effort into my appearance and I constantly get harassed. I have at least 2-3 guys a night treat me like total shit. My husband says its cause they are intimidated and know they would never have a chance with me. Which is absolutely ridiculous. I like all types of guys - rich, poor, young, old, skinny, fat, muscular.... the only type I hate are assholes. I definitely get more shit the skinnier I am. I am actually trying to gain weight right now for this reason.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    My husband says its cause they are intimidated and know they would never have a chance with me.
    Another reason is because some men are shafted at their jobs by higher ups. They need to be superior or have control over someone and women, and I will say it, in general will not say anything.

    When guys are assholes to me I just tell them I expect to be treated with respect and will not settle for less.

    It really doesn't have anything to do with the way a woman looks it has to do with a mans ego and a woman's inability to speak up for herself and set her boundaries.

    The saying is - Give a man and inch and he thinks he's a ruler.

    Don't think I hate men I do not. I'm there with Jessy_Tinydancer I hate assholes.




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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick View Post
    ^^This may be because it is more acceptable to make comments about someone being too skinny or being a stick. Its not ok to call someone fat or insinuate that someone is fat. You just look like more of an asshole if you say that a dancer is fat cow, than if you say someone is too skinny. Its rude either way. A really tiny dancer had a customer ask her, "So do you work out all the time or do you just never eat anything." She is very skinny but it looks right on her and she is very small in general. She doesn't look anorexic or unhealthy like some of the other dancers I've seen. She was really offended, and said, "If I were fat you wouldn't ask me if I ate all the time, or do I just never get off the couch." He admitted that and apologized. Yeah I've seen customers make fun of bigger/ugly dancers, but they are not usually as upfront about it as they are with pretty/skinny dancers I guess. Most of the comments were much worse for the bigger less attractive dancers however.
    I have gotten the same exact comment that the dancer you spoke of got ""So do you work out all the time or do you just never eat anything." - It really caught me off guard because I was on stage when he asked me, and afterwards thinking about it I got very upset but at the time was too shocked to be able have a good comeback. That is the rudest thing ever, and comments on my weight once in a while that is very rude. I eat plenty I am active and fit. GRRRRRRRRRRR

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Ladies even when I am size 10 I have a big butt that contuies to follow me anyway. (lol)I am 5'7 and guess what these assholes will always have something to say. One time I got down to a size 7 and guess what I still heard you are thick like a milkshake . Or "that must be jam because jelly don't shake like that"

    I have learned to either ignore or snap back. God forbid the guy has big nasty beer belly then his ass is mine. But most of the time I just walk away. I think sometimes Chubby girls get it the worst. Does anyone go in the chat room here?

    Alright Ladies take care.

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    Default Re: Chubbier girls getting less bitching than fit/skinny/athletic ones?

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    I have gotten the same exact comment that the dancer you spoke of got ""So do you work out all the time or do you just never eat anything." - It really caught me off guard because I was on stage when he asked me, and afterwards thinking about it I got very upset but at the time was too shocked to be able have a good comeback. That is the rudest thing ever, and comments on my weight once in a while that is very rude. I eat plenty I am active and fit. GRRRRRRRRRRR
    I was called anorexic last week. I was on stage and this guys says to his friend loudly "ewww now there's anorexia". It really pisses me off because I have really strong legs. Massively muscular, but you can see my ribs and I have small boobs. I guarantee I will never be called anorexic again after I have my boob job.

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