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Thread: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

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    Default Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Do you (or did you) miss dancing?
    I danced for a year and a half and loved it and had a great experience. I quit when I got pregnant, then after I had my baby, both my boyfriend and I decided I would be a stay at home mom for a while. I had every intention of going back and he doesn't want me to.
    Part of me is ok with that. He takes care of us, I love him to death. But I miss it alot. I miss the independence it gave me, the money I was making. I hate feeling so dependent on someone also. I miss the job too, I had fun, I miss dancing itself and the girls and being on stage and feeling pretty.
    He's gotten to the point where he gets mad now when I talk about missing it. We've even gotten in a couple "fine just go back to dancing" fights, but basically it's him or dancing. I feel like my relationship with him and more so my daughter having both of us around is more important than a job. but I still miss it terribly.

    This is more of a vent than anything, and to see if anyone can relate or has been there.

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    Senior Member SoStellar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    I had to quit dancing recently. I know how you feel about missing it. But I'm sure he wouldn't complain about the income you would be bringing in. Extra money always helps when a baby is around. My husband is under some notion that I'll be SAHM when the baby gets here. I dont have anything against that but that isnt ME. I dont sit still and I have every intention of going back to dancing afterwards(I'm keeping in great shape now.) But I know how you feel of the "dancing or me" situation. Quite aggrivating.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    What is it about these guys who want their stripper girlfriends to be stay at home moms once they have babies? Seems like too many controlling men. When I quit it was my decision and mine only. No way would I quit any job because a spouse wanted me to, whether I had a baby or not.

    To the point about missing it, right after I quit dancing at clubs I did miss it. I felt weird not having to do out for the night. I missed the cash money and the nights of working. I really missed the stage dancing because I am a born entertainer. It's been many years and I'll hear a song I danced to and start dancing to it again. However, there are things I don't miss. I don't miss the jerk managers who thought they were hot. I don't miss the awful customers who'd come in and be rude or cheap. I don't miss the nights where I made little. When I get lonely thinking of clubs, I just think of the bad things too.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    To answer your original question, indeed I miss the way exotic dancing used to be in the 90's !

    Unfortunately, today's exotic dancing industry has changed so much from the 90's business model I started dancing under that I don't miss dancing under the 'present day' business model one bit !!!

    Before I finally retired altogether from live dancing, I quit and returned again several times ... usually with a 1 year time span. I can truly say that, every time I returned, the 'changes' that had occurred in the exotic dancing business model in the meantime made dancing harder and harder to tolerate.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    To answer your original question, indeed I miss the way exotic dancing used to be in the 90's !

    Unfortunately, today's exotic dancing industry has changed so much from the 90's business model I started dancing under that I don't miss dancing under the 'present day' business model one bit !!!

    Before I finally retired altogether from live dancing, I quit and returned again several times ... usually with a 1 year time span. I can truly say that, every time I returned, the 'changes' that had occurred in the exotic dancing business model in the meantime made dancing harder and harder to tolerate.
    That's the sad thing I noticed. When I started (1993) things were clean and no touching was the rule. It was easy then to make good money. Awhile back I was considering checking out dancing again. The one club I worked at went from a no touch club to an anything goes club. Sad.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    I have my days when I miss it and days when I dont. I miss the money, I miss the independence, I miss the freedom of it.

    I don't miss the bad nights that made me feel like crap, or the octopus tongues and arms some guys have.

    I can empathize with you-I quit for a baby too. But b/c I wanted too, not b/c hubby wanted me to do so. Even so, he doesn't like the idea of me going back to stripping.
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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    I miss it. I probably won't be going back but I do miss some parts about it. I miss the fun outfits and that I pretty much was in control of my night. I miss that I just went in whenever I felt like it.

    I don't miss the smoky rooms, rude customers or drama. Ultimately though, I do miss it a little.
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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Yes, I missed it, I had to go back. Now, I would never quit for a man. If he loves me then he has to accept who I am.

    If you just want to dance but you don't care so much about the club, try taking some striptease classes or go to a pole studio that has "open pole" sessions.
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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    I quit when my parents found out and I always felt weird/ sad about the way I quit. I went back to dancing this summer cause I missed it so bad, and I want to end, retire on my own terms. Even with all the bullshit, it's the best job I've had and I totally love it. If you feel some unfinished energy with the stage and the pole I would encourage you to find a way to do what you do and help your man understand what your self reliance means to you.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    I danced and had a 4 year hiatus. I didn't miss it all when I quit. I was burnt out. (Even though I think I'd only worked 5 or 6 months). But I was too immature and didn't know what I was doing. I ended up going back because I planned on moving back to Canada and wanted $30K to take home. I wasn't really happy about going back but saw it as the quickest way to get a ticket home and set myself up.

    Once I started back I really loved it this time around. It was much easier because I had so much life experience and sales experience. I ended up deciding I wanted to stay in australia and the money has allowed me to pursue a dream and go back to University to become a Veterinarian. I have my shit days and weeks, even months, but on a whole I am much happier than I would be busting my ass at a cafe or teaching swimming lessons.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    Yes, I missed it, I had to go back. Now, I would never quit for a man. If he loves me then he has to accept who I am.
    Amen sister!

    Stay true to yourself.

    Dance because you want to dance.

    Don't dance because YOU don't want to dance.

    Do NOT allow any man ... boyfriend or husband ... to tell you what you can or can not do.

    I don't care how much money the man I'm w/ makes ... he has no right to tell me what I can or can not do re: my job. I'm not fucking anyone else. I'm working!

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    I quit 3 years ago, moved across the country, got a corporate job, and was laid off from said job last year. After my layoff, I took some time to get my shit together mentally and physically, and went back to dancing. I'm really glad to be back, and personally, I'm so much happier out of the corporate world, which is much harder and more cutthroat than dancing in my opinion.

    If the pole is calling you back, there may be a reason...I heeded the call, and I'm so happy to be back. Do what's best for YOU.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    Yes, I missed it, I had to go back. Now, I would never quit for a man. If he loves me then he has to accept who I am.

    If you just want to dance but you don't care so much about the club, try taking some striptease classes or go to a pole studio that has "open pole" sessions.
    I want to get a pole once we move into a bigger apartment, right now there is just nowhere to put it.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    i havent danced in a good 6months and i havent missed it a damn bit.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Quote Originally Posted by MissKat View Post
    Amen sister!

    Stay true to yourself.

    Dance because you want to dance.

    Don't dance because YOU don't want to dance.

    Do NOT allow any man ... boyfriend or husband ... to tell you what you can or can not do.

    I don't care how much money the man I'm w/ makes ... he has no right to tell me what I can or can not do re: my job. I'm not fucking anyone else. I'm working!
    I guess it's not so much about him not allowing me as it is that I do understand why he doesn't want me to. And I love him and I care about how he feels. If I didn't care how he felt I'd just go back anyways. Thats how I was in past relationships.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    I miss it. I still have everything in me that was there when I did dance. But I won't be going back.





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    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    I miss the flexibility and the performance aspect.

    I NEED to be doing some kind of performing, wearing fake eyelashes and ridiculous outfits, in one capacity or another, in order to feel at peace with myself. When I don't have that outlet, I start seriously thinking about going back to the pole, even though there is so much about the industry that I hate.
    Last edited by Winged Dinghy; 12-05-2010 at 12:56 PM.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    I danced for 6 years and stopped dancing 2 yrs ago. I recently started back dancing certain days in the month and going to travel and work this summer once school is over. I decided to go back because of the economy and I want a little more independence because I have a guy that takes care of me all the time. So that's my reason for returning, not that I miss it but I want a bigger savings and independence on my own again.
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    Veteran Member Taylorgrrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    I NEED to be performing, wearing fake eyelashes and ridiculous outfits, in one capacity or another, in order to feel at peace with myself. When I don't have that outlet, I start seriously thinking about going back to the pole, even though there is so much about the industry that I hate.
    Me too! I actually start manufacturing reasons to put on a feather boa and fake hair. ("Some random band needs a chick to dance on top of their speakers at a show? I'm so there!") I'm seriously considering signing on with an agency for bachelor parties just to get my yayas out without committing to a club.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Quote Originally Posted by shoshanna View Post
    I quit 3 years ago, moved across the country, got a corporate job, and was laid off from said job last year. After my layoff, I took some time to get my shit together mentally and physically, and went back to dancing. I'm really glad to be back, and personally, I'm so much happier out of the corporate world, which is much harder and more cutthroat than dancing in my opinion.

    If the pole is calling you back, there may be a reason...I heeded the call, and I'm so happy to be back. Do what's best for YOU.

    I "quit" dancing back in November. I have really missed it more and more lately and will likely go back soon.

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Quote Originally Posted by MissKat View Post
    Amen sister!

    Stay true to yourself.

    Dance because you want to dance.

    Don't dance because YOU don't want to dance.

    Do NOT allow any man ... boyfriend or husband ... to tell you what you can or can not do.

    I don't care how much money the man I'm w/ makes ... he has no right to tell me what I can or can not do re: my job. I'm not fucking anyone else. I'm working!
    Amen! My hubby knew I danced when we met, and if he became to the point it was me or my job, ESPECIALLY in the economy; I would work. I'm not cut out for staying at home and filing my nails and being a SAHM.

    Thank goodness, that's not something we disagree on, or fight about.
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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Quote Originally Posted by kitana View Post
    Amen! My hubby knew I danced when we met, and if he became to the point it was me or my job, ESPECIALLY in the economy; I would work. I'm not cut out for staying at home and filing my nails and being a SAHM.

    Thank goodness, that's not something we disagree on, or fight about.
    I'm not cut out for it either.
    Money's not an issue though, so I'd feel selfish just going back because I want to. Like, I think about it and feel like what kind of mother would leave the father or her child and somebody she loves just because she wants to strip.
    but I miss it so much.
    Idk what to do I'm so confused. *sigh*

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Staying at home doesn't mean 'filing nails' and otherwise doing nothing all day. Most of the SAHMs I know keep busy with businesses at home, homeschooling, writing, volunteer work, travel and basically have freedom and flexibility to do these things and many others, as they are inclined. Also, for whatever reason, most of them are 8+, even the ones past 45.

    It's interesting that so many think that being a SAHM means loss of options and activity. People think strippers don't do anything really except just get handed 100 dollar bills for being naked. Both kinds of assumptions that female choices and work of certain types 'aren't really work' are kind of close-minded and effed up.

    On topic, I suppose if I miss anything about dancing in clubs it would be the camaraderie with customers. It is easy enough to replicate the performance stuff teaching other women and practicing pole work in my studio. But you can't really simulate the pleasant hour passed discussing spaceship mechanics with a firefly fan who paid 400$ for the privilege and left lighter in heart and wallet. The club is certainly an environment like no other.

    I'd have pretty different words to say about what I missed if I'd made 5 or 10k per week as standard.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    Quote Originally Posted by shaina View Post
    Do you (or did you) miss dancing?
    I danced for a year and a half and loved it and had a great experience. I quit when I got pregnant, then after I had my baby, both my boyfriend and I decided I would be a stay at home mom for a while. I had every intention of going back and he doesn't want me to.
    Part of me is ok with that. He takes care of us, I love him to death. But I miss it alot. I miss the independence it gave me, the money I was making. I hate feeling so dependent on someone also. I miss the job too, I had fun, I miss dancing itself and the girls and being on stage and feeling pretty.
    He's gotten to the point where he gets mad now when I talk about missing it. We've even gotten in a couple "fine just go back to dancing" fights, but basically it's him or dancing. I feel like my relationship with him and more so my daughter having both of us around is more important than a job. but I still miss it terribly.

    This is more of a vent than anything, and to see if anyone can relate or has been there.

    First of all, since he's not even your husband, why is he even giving you an ultimatum? He has no rights to you. Either way, even if he does marry you...your gut feeling is telling you that you enjoy doing this and enjoy the independence it offers you, you'll end up resenting him in the end.

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    Default Re: Ex dancers? Or dancers that quit and went back

    i quit and went back (more than once) and regretted it each time.

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