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Thread: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    Times are tough and we have all acknowledged this. A lot of people I work with are struggling with their lives because of the economy. Even the really good looking and talented dancers that I know.

    Here's the thing: I've always been pretty decent at managing my finances. So, even when I go through a shit streak, I stash $$ away and spend less, until something I am totally passionate about comes up.

    My long term guy has a business that is doing well. We live in a nice neighborhood, but live simply.

    (I'm getting off topic). So, the thing I'm passionate about is snowboarding and I have made a bunch of 4 day trips this season. I also go to Vegas once a month (my man's main office is there) to see my parents. He gets some small perks through his company like: free drinks, club entrance, restaurants,et. Mostly, mid-level places, which is fine.

    These things make me really happy. Especially the snow trips. I rock as snowboarder. I just want to burst out and talk about my trips to everyone.

    But knowing a lot of my fellow co-workers are struggling, I feel like I might come off as gloating or bragging about my life style, instead of jabbering w/ exitement, which is the case.

    Should I continue to be low key and keep my mouth shut? Is it not a good thing to be happy and passionate at work?

    (sorry so long, but thoughts would be greatly appreciated).

    P.S.S. I have also befriended a co-worker, a struggling dancer/actress. I've taken her to see some shows and have paid for drinks and took her to the snow and paid for her boot rentals and gas. Sometimes she seems to snap at me. Am I actually making her feel bad?)
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    I'm a newb but I've heard a lot of dancers mention to not reveal how much you are making or or not making..

    I try to have a positive attitude at the club because like you, I know how to stash cash and my sig and I have a pretty blessed life in a beautiful area, but we also work hard for it. I can't even tell you how much pissing and bitching goes on in the dressing room..I suppose some of its natural but my feeling is, if you don't really enjoy dancing don't be there.

    sounds like things are going well for you, thats awesome!

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    Veteran Member Lexi_Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    Honestly, no matter what profession you're in, most people hate knowing someone else is happier than them and will try to knock you down a few pegs, in my experience. They jump at any 'flaw' in your life and hold it over your head as if they just one upped you.

    I mostly keep to myself because I don't need people looking for flaws in my life, I'm doing just fine

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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    There is a difference between being happy and upbeat towards the other dancers, like saying encouraging things to them to help them, which is good I think. But I think it is unnecessary to talk about your trips and how you are spending your money at work. You should be out on the floor talking with the customers, eh? I try to keep my conversations with other strippers short and upbeat. If you need to share about your trips do it with the customers.
    "I wear tight clothing, high heel shoes
    It doesn't mean that I'm a prostitute" En Vogue

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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    as a girl going through a rough time (during season, no less), i'd have a pretty major problem with another girl if she kept talking about how great her life was. even if i liked her. even if i knew she was just happy and not trying to upset me.

    like, i feel bad enough about how things are for me right now, i don't need to hear how good they would be if i could magically become somebody else.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    sounds like those other girls are jealous. And, being a jealous person myself (though I seem to control it well), I would not like to hear about how awesome your trips are.

    and yeah, from the same perspective, you would be making your friend feel bad.

    but, this is only from a jealous persons perspective who cannot control his or her jealousy well.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    Leave it at home. No one is going to want to hear it. If it makes you feel better, I'm in the same boat as you; I can't talk about cool stuff to any of my coworkers.

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    Featured Member OJenni!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    Talk to the customers about it. If you come at them smiling and having something interesting to talk about they will find it more appealing then the girls that go "wanna dance?" It will put some kick in to your hustle and make you stand out.

    Personally I don't really care for dressing room talk. I come in, change and am on my way to the floor. I don't sit around chatting or snacking. In fact I do simple make-up and it takes me less then 15 minutes from the time I arrive to the time I am on the floor.



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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    You could certainly mention a trip and just see how they respond ( if / when it's slow and you even have time to visit ) . I'm a frequent traveler ( like you ..... it's that FUN stuff that KEEPS me happy ) , so I'd want to hear all about it so I could glean " must -do's " for myself!

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    Veteran Member CaseyLace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    I don't know if you have to leave it at home, but you'd probably end up better off if you didn't share it with all of your coworkers.

    The good thing is that if you are happy in your life, you will look healthier and more beautiful. Talk about it with your custies (obviously don't tell them *where* you snowboard or anything that can let them find you). Don't be afraid to let your happiness shine through to them, chances are they will think it's super attractive. Nobody likes a sad stripper

    Also, in response to your friend... you may not be doing anything bad, or directly making her feel bad, but she may be ashamed of how much she's struggling, especially next to you with how well you're doing in your life. I would say don't stop including her in the things you like to do together by helping her finance them, but don't be too extravagant in your spending for her. Her pride is probably hurt. Even though she may be a little embarrassed, I'm sure she realizes you're doing a really nice thing for her!

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna78 View Post
    There is a difference between being happy and upbeat towards the other dancers, like saying encouraging things to them to help them, which is good I think. But I think it is unnecessary to talk about your trips and how you are spending your money at work. You should be out on the floor talking with the customers, eh? I try to keep my conversations with other strippers short and upbeat. If you need to share about your trips do it with the customers.
    That's the point, I am upbeat about it? If a dancer asks where I've been...should I lie?

    And yeah, I spend almost all my time on the floor and never mention how much $$ I'm maklng.
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    Quote Originally Posted by she sells sanctuary View Post
    as a girl going through a rough time (during season, no less), i'd have a pretty major problem with another girl if she kept talking about how great her life was. even if i liked her. even if i knew she was just happy and not trying to upset me.

    like, i feel bad enough about how things are for me right now, i don't need to hear how good they would be if i could magically become somebody else.
    Good point. Thanks.
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    Quote Originally Posted by OJenni! View Post
    Talk to the customers about it. If you come at them smiling and having something interesting to talk about they will find it more appealing then the girls that go "wanna dance?" It will put some kick in to your hustle and make you stand out.

    Personally I don't really care for dressing room talk. I come in, change and am on my way to the floor. I don't sit around chatting or snacking. In fact I do simple make-up and it takes me less then 15 minutes from the time I arrive to the time I am on the floor.
    I don't dwell in the dressing room. But if dancers are asking me where I've been, I guess I should lie.
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    Quote Originally Posted by CaseyLace View Post
    I don't know if you have to leave it at home, but you'd probably end up better off if you didn't share it with all of your coworkers.

    The good thing is that if you are happy in your life, you will look healthier and more beautiful. Talk about it with your custies (obviously don't tell them *where* you snowboard or anything that can let them find you). Don't be afraid to let your happiness shine through to them, chances are they will think it's super attractive. Nobody likes a sad stripper

    Also, in response to your friend... you may not be doing anything bad, or directly making her feel bad, but she may be ashamed of how much she's struggling, especially next to you with how well you're doing in your life. I would say don't stop including her in the things you like to do together by helping her finance them, but don't be too extravagant in your spending for her. Her pride is probably hurt. Even though she may be a little embarrassed, I'm sure she realizes you're doing a really nice thing for her!
    Thanks for that. She is constantly telling me how much she makes. It seems like she wants me to blurt out the same, but that's one thing I won't do: disclose what I've made. It's funny how more than one of them really want to tell me (but that's another topic).
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    ^^ no, I wouldn't lie, just tell them the truth in a more neutral happy tone and don't embellish.

    example,

    dancer: where have you been Corey? Havent seen you for a few days.
    Corey: I was in vegas with my husband. How have you been?


    IDK...but that wouldn't bother me too much. And if I wanted to know more, I could always ask you. I think that leaves it at a pretty neutral answer though.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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    Featured Member Stripper Hacks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it best to leave your 'happiness' at home?

    I would have to say keep your personal life and work life separate.

    Sure if you have girlfriends at the club that you trust that will lift you up and not tell you how crummy their lives are -- then talk about yourself.

    It's like gloating about a boyfriend when someone is having trouble with theirs. Or happy to be single when someone hates being married. Making money while others are struggling.

    You don't have to be all PC but that is why it is better to just focus on the task at hand (work) than share personal information.

    This goes for any line of work.




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