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Last edited by hello-kitty; 09-16-2010 at 01:38 AM.





Could you scout out another club, maybe as a customer? At least you could reassure yourself that you have work options if you start dating the owner.
It sounds like there is a mutual attraction, and it isn't always a disaster dating someone you work with, so I wouldn't go expecting the worst. Be positive.




I don't care how much money or power he has. It has bad idea written all over it. Never date someone you work with or for. Go to another club if you want to date him. Staying there and dating him is like asking for trouble from everyone you work with. And if you decide to go through with it you better make sure he isn't screwing around with anyone for sure. You never know what he could be doing, or who.




I've been through this. From personal experience you gotta be super super careful.
Find another club to work at and take it super slow. So slow that if all he wanted to do was get in your pants he'd lose interest.





^^^ I say hit him up to cover the costs of a boob job ... while preparing to move to a different city a couple of months down the road !!!





lolz at this response... ^^^
On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.





Do NOT date someone you work with. I don't care if he's Brad Pitt. THIS IS AN AWFUL IDEA AND WILL LEAD TO NOTHING BUT PROBLEMS FOR YOU. Run don't walk away from this.
Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight
"you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me
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I wouldnt rearrange my job or life over a SC owner showing interest. Although you may be the only dancer right now, you were not the first and wont be the last. If you switched clubs in time another nice dancer would probably peak his interest.
The fact that you know their is a mutual attraction and that he treats you different from other dancers shows where his professionalism lies :0/





Yeah, I'd have to agree. I've never dated a coworker in a strip club, but I've dated one in another field before. It's bad business.
On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.



^ But i think Melonie had the BEST advice. See what you can get out of it. No house fee? Boob job? Promo work?





True you could turn it into a 'sugar daddy' type thing.... I would just be uber careful whatever you decide to do.
On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.




^^^Yeah I got a lot of freebies in the situation but it still bit me in the ass. Still just generally not a good idea.





I knew several dancers who dated managers and it turned out awful. What many dancers don't realize that many of these guys think of dancers as easy and if you date them, they'll think less of you. Not to mention that other dancers resent them because in many cases they get special care. I am generally against dating coworkers in the club, though I did date a bouncer and a DJ (I parted with the bouncer amicably, the DJ was a psycho).
The fact that he's the owner and a millionaire leads me to think he either has many relationships with dancers or he started a club just so he can date dancers. Bad news all around. If you feel you want to date him, I'd wait until you leave the club.





Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight
"you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me
Blessed Be





^^^ unfortunately, given the typical LA area club culture there really isn't any risk-free way to deal with this situation. If she cold shoulders the clubowner, that act may in and of itself lead to 'retribution' from club managers if she continues working in this club.
I agree with the point made by others that, based on many past examples, clubowners developing a 'romantic' interest in particular dancers is NOT likely to lead to a long term relationship. Generally it develops into a situation of mutual 'advantage' that lasts for a few months at best. After that, the clubowner typically shifts attention to some new dancer and an awkward situation remains for his former favorite dancer. This is the reason that I suggested that she attempt to take as much 'advantage' of the situation as the clubowner will attempt to take. At least that way, several months from now, when faced with the awkward situation, she'll have something of lasting value ( i.e. breast implants ) to show for it.
IMHO once a dancer draws the serious attention of a clubowner, she's really faced with an immediate choice of two options. #1 is to cold shoulder the clubowner, while preparing to move to another club / another city. The other is to 'go along for the ride' with the mind set that her relationship with the clubowner is very temporary in nature ... and to take full advantage of that situation while it lasts.





There's also option # 3 - tell him that although you like in that same manner, you could see the potential for the situation turning out bad, and would like to continue the professional & friendly relationship you currently have.
Doing so tells him that you do like him, but your job is very important. At least then he'll know that you feel the same about him, and if he chooses to spoil you here or there than so be it... but there's no commitment on your part and more than likely his feelings will sort of fizzle out when things don't go anywhere.
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Im the devils advocate... My husband was my boss once upon a time. We both could have been fired as our relationship was against the employee code of conduct. We had to keep our relationship a huge secret for an entire year until we moved countries. I definitely do not regret it...obviously.
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