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Thread: I SUCK at dating

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    Veteran Member Jenn1981's Avatar
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    Default I SUCK at dating

    Ive been in a few relationships, one that lasted 5 yrs, one that lasted 3 yrs being my two longest. Im great when im IN relationships but now looking back I dont even know HOW i got into those relationships. Because for the past almost year, ive just been dating and i gotta say i am really bad at it.
    I must make a good first impression cause I get alot of dates/invites but usually after a few weeks or a month the guys lose interest/dissapear.
    I dont have sex with anyone right away, it takes me at least a few dates sometimes even a month to feel comfortable.
    Ive tried to analyze what im doing wrong. I dont smother anyone, i am not a stalker, i dont call too much, seem to eager. But I also make sure I dont appear uninterested. It just feels like such a game.
    Everyone says relax and be yourself. And thats what I am doing and yet, nothin seems to materialize.

    Anyone else ever feel like theyre never gonna meet the right guy??

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    Default Re: I SUCK at dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenn1981 View Post
    Ive been in a few relationships, one that lasted 5 yrs, one that lasted 3 yrs being my two longest. Im great when im IN relationships but now looking back I dont even know HOW i got into those relationships. Because for the past almost year, ive just been dating and i gotta say i am really bad at it.
    I must make a good first impression cause I get alot of dates/invites but usually after a few weeks or a month the guys lose interest/dissapear.
    I dont have sex with anyone right away, it takes me at least a few dates sometimes even a month to feel comfortable.
    Ive tried to analyze what im doing wrong. I dont smother anyone, i am not a stalker, i dont call too much, seem to eager. But I also make sure I dont appear uninterested. It just feels like such a game.
    Everyone says relax and be yourself. And thats what I am doing and yet, nothin seems to materialize.

    Anyone else ever feel like theyre never gonna meet the right guy??
    Sounds like me. Right now I have a boyfriend/longtime friend/drama king who may or may not ever want something serious. He has issues because of a previous relationship but hope he can get over it (I can't get super serious now anyway and eventually plan to move by him because of jobs).

    Having said that, one of the reasons why I am dealing with this (besides the fact that I loved him for years) is because of this issue. Men always want to ask me out, but many lose interest right away. I either get the they just want sex and nothing more (I don't sleep with these guys), I get guys that decide to go back to their girlfriends and are using me to get them jealous, guys that change their mind etc.

    I don't get it either. I don't nag, stalk or get obsessed. I don't assume we are an item until they call me their girlfriend or ask me. I have a life outside of men and am not upset when they don't call. I did get a little too aggressive with the current guy (which I normally don't) and that's why he's a little scared (I backed off).

    I wish I knew what to say, except that it's probably because the guys you are meeting (I think this is my problem) are ones who just want sex. I noticed that when I started telling guys I don't sleep around, most lost interest, but the ones I got were those who liked to take things slow (like the current guy).

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    Veteran Member The Six's Avatar
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    Default Re: I SUCK at dating

    Being yourself doesn't guarantee that you'll meet the right person, but if you aren't yourself I can guarantee that you won't meet him. It's not interesting advise but all I can say is keep trying.

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    Veteran Member Jenn1981's Avatar
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    Default Re: I SUCK at dating

    Yeah I have gotten the guys who have used me to make girlfriends jealous. And a few of the guys i dated ended up in relationships really soon after they were done with me!
    It irritates me! I know I am the girlfriend type because I have been in 2 long relationships, both of which were quite serious. And I know theres nothing I can do except just keep trying. It figures though that the few guys I did NOT like at all, constantly contact me. (one of them i have not seen in 6 months and we only went out 2 times!).

    I have a sort of blind date this weekend. I mean I know what he looks like, but we never actually met in person yet. I cant even get excited about it tho. Im actually really nervous cause I HATE first dates.

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    Default Re: I SUCK at dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenn1981 View Post
    Yeah I have gotten the guys who have used me to make girlfriends jealous. And a few of the guys i dated ended up in relationships really soon after they were done with me!
    It irritates me! I know I am the girlfriend type because I have been in 2 long relationships, both of which were quite serious. And I know theres nothing I can do except just keep trying. It figures though that the few guys I did NOT like at all, constantly contact me. (one of them i have not seen in 6 months and we only went out 2 times!).

    I have a sort of blind date this weekend. I mean I know what he looks like, but we never actually met in person yet. I cant even get excited about it tho. Im actually really nervous cause I HATE first dates.
    Good luck with the blind date. Why is it the ones who want us the most are the ones we don't want? I've had these guys all try to woo me by buying me flowers and other things, yet I had no interest in them. At least you keep trying. If this one doesn't work, I think I am done dating. Not worth it to deal with these things. And I've seen guys who I liked yet had no interest in me end up getting serious with the next girl they dated. In fact one guy even married the next one.

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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: I SUCK at dating

    I don't think you are doing anything wrong or are even bad at dating. It's rare for two people to have enough in common to make a relationship. You need similar views on the major things in life, similar lifestyles, to be compatible sexually, mentally stimulate one another, etc. It's mind boggling that it ever works if you really think about what a crap shoot it is.

    Hold in there and you will find someone that is right for you! It just takes time and patience.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
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    Default Re: I SUCK at dating

    Agree with most everything here. Is anyone really any good at dating? Honestly?

    I bumbled in and out of short term and long term 'relationships' from the age of about 15 to 25 - anyone from the local cow herder (seriously - I grew up on a farm) - to the leader of the local Hells Angels chapter!

    It was only when I got into a job and environment that suited who I was as a person, that I began to feel happier with myself and accept who I am as a human being. Eventually, I found the guy I married. That was 22 years ago now - we're not a PERFECT match, but close enough to love each other to bits and take the bad times as well as the good.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

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