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Thread: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

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    Default embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    I am thinking about going back to dance.. I really am, Alot of people I know already knew I did it, and I got alot of shit about it.. Im WHY am I so embarrassed ?? I feel degraded!
    I would like to find another job that could allow me to do outside sales or something.. Im a single mom and Im trying to go to school.. and its hard


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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    are you not happy escorting? what about dancing that makes you feel degraded? i think it's all about how YOU perceive things, not others, you've danced before and had problems/judgments from people then just don't tell them. there are sales oriented jobs out there so i'm sure someone can chime in on some ideas. i know you have mentioned you're currently starting a new medication, and i am as well, so making decisions about what you want to do in regards to dancing may not be the best timing...is it possible for you to take a break from the industry until you feel like your meds are at therapeutic levels (maybe they are so my advice may be moot)

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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    Who was giving you problems about dancing? What about doing bachelor parties and such?
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    Quote Originally Posted by rubyredlipsss View Post
    are you not happy escorting? what about dancing that makes you feel degraded? i think it's all about how YOU perceive things, not others, you've danced before and had problems/judgments from people then just don't tell them. there are sales oriented jobs out there so i'm sure someone can chime in on some ideas. i know you have mentioned you're currently starting a new medication, and i am as well, so making decisions about what you want to do in regards to dancing may not be the best timing...is it possible for you to take a break from the industry until you feel like your meds are at therapeutic levels (maybe they are so my advice may be moot)
    No I like escorting, but my agency fucked me over this week, and I dont like to get behind, I haven't really done alot of indy work here.. I havent started any new meds.. I mean I got some anxiety meds, I just do not get them regularly because I don't have a prescription.. I couldnt take a break from the industry.. I was thinking I will just web cam instead.. I had a really good appointment today and it was 4 times longer than planned so I got a little money in the bank..


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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    anxiety meds definitely help (esp to help calm down and it's good that you aren't taking them on a regular basis) but when you don't have the proper meds the regular stresses of life can seem almost unbearable and really overwhelming. knowing that you're bipolar, i think i remember you mentioning you have mixed mania (i do as well, which is pretty much the worst form of bipolar to have) and you really should get on meds, i know it may seem manageable without them but you'll be a lot happier and more stable. i'm sure the other escorts can help you with advice on getting more work but it seems like the economy is just hitting everyone hard. i dont know if you know this but you may qualify for government disability...you don't have to have a physical condition that prevents you from working, mental illnesses also qualify under the disability's act...and you could possibly qualify for government assistance to get back on regular meds. the reason i bring all this up is because i can relate to you on a mental level and working can be extremely difficult when you're experiencing the ups and downs and i know you have a family to support, so that must be adding even more stress. if you go on disability, it's not like you'll be receiving a lot of money but at least it's steady and will help reduce the stress and you can get on meds and then get back on the top of your game. i know while i'm going through an episode i don't make nearly as much as i do when i'm stable.

    i'm not encouraging you to use the system to supplement your income as an escort if you are making enough money, but if you truly are struggling financially, as it seems that you are, maybe it's something you should look into until you get back on your feet emotionally and get set up working indy.

    anyway, i hope this helps.

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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    Ive tried twice to get help with disability and got denied, they said it was because I actually worked too much and had some college education!! Im really stressed all the time, Im thinking about a big change.. I refuse to be poor forever! My mom stresses me out a lot, and especially because she could help me ALOT! She lives in a one bedroom with my brother, her bills are like less than 1000 dollars, and her bf gives her $4000 dollars a month on top of the $600 a months she gets from SSI. Her bf has offered to give her a house and she wont take it! Ive begged her to take the offer because If I had 1000$ less in house bills I would be so much better off!
    Her bf is taking us to vegas for two days, and then my mom dragging me to cali. for 3 days.. and MAYBE Ill get rich there lol jk,

    but Im going to talk to my mom and tell her if she doesnt plan on helping me Im moving to my grandma's about 1500 miles away..
    I havent talk to my grandma about this yet, and Im not sure about it yet.. but my grandma has offered me to move in with her a few times.. it would be a little crowed, but then I would have free day care (which I have now with my bf) I'd be able to go to school, work part-time and pay for my car and phone.. Only thing is Id have to leave my bf and friends.. I talked to my bf about it and he said that might be a good idea.. I dont think he would be able to come with me, and that would really blow but I really got to think about my future..


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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    Don't be embarrassed, thinking about your future is a GOOD thing and you should be proud of yourself for making efforts to put yourself in a happier situation. Many people spend their whole lives unhappy because they are afraid of change, so give yourself some credit for even considering a big life change.

    I understand why dancing may seem degrading to you. I find dancing much more degrading than escorting because of some of the customers. If moving in with your grandma would put your in a better situation and reduce your anxiety than I'd say go for it. Save your money like crazy so that you have a nice little cushion when you move back out on your own.

    I know I've come off as harsh to you in the past but that's only because I care. I hate to see anyone sell themselves short. Do what you need to do to lower your anxiety and better your situation and don't feel bad about it.

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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    I really dont want to leave my bf and my friends.. and I might not even be able to go..
    I have joint custody of my kids, and Id have to fight their dad for custody.. he is really lazy, but Im not sure how Id be able to get out.. In the custody papers It says that I cant move out of my county.. I just forgot about that part! But I have another plan.. maybe my mom could get a house, or I could find some one else to help me. I just cant keep doing what Im doing for too long.. thanks for all yalls help


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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    Well if you wanna do outside sales have you thought about starting your own business?

    Im a pure romance consultant and I do pleasure parties for adult women. Its fun and you can make good money at it with little start up.

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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    ya I thought about starting my own business.. I already clean one place.. but there are so many people here trying to do the same thing.. ever time I turn the corner I see someone trying to sell avon or mary kay..
    My house is very very small and I dont have a lot of people that I could invite to a party anyways.. alot of my friends have moved off to college.. Its hard to find friends that are normal! Most of the girls Ive met since all my friends moved off are too wild for me, or too boring.. the wild ones party with drugs and I hate drugs, the boring ones didnt want anything do with me once they knew I was a dancer... I have a few friends on cafe mom and here..

    Ive been looking in the papers for any job really and there is really like nothing!! we always need nurses here but thats all I can find, and car salesmen, to be a carsales, Ive tried that and I couldnt get the job because I have too many tickets.. some part of their policy.. I guess cause you have to go on test drives ??

    my mom wont listen to me.. she always interrupts me, and she is all like you can do it, I did it.. YA she did it but she also had Housing assit. and always had a paycheck bc she is disabled. Im on the list for housing assistant, Ive only been on it for four years now.. you have to call every 6 months to check.. I got approved to live in the ghetto and I went by to check it out, and they were only offering to knock off like 200 dollars than what Im paying now, and I was too scared to live there..
    anyways Im about to make some kind of big change.. I am thinking about emailing my mom, and telling her that I need some help! her and my brother live together in a one bedroom.. my brother sleeps on the couch, or goes to his gfs... his gf and him have been together for about 4 years and we are really close to their family.. his gf mom has let my brother and my mother stay at her house before! she has a three bedroom place, with a den and an attic that is in the process of being transformed in to a room <<my brothers girlfriends room. The gf sister is about to have a baby, and so they do have the den left, its really a cool house because the den has its own entrance and bathroom.. I mean I'd probably have to sell a few things and put somethings in storage.. and I would be able to help with the food and I would offer to give her mom like $200 bucks a month and Id help with the new baby and clean... so Im hoping that works out.. because Im not even sure my mom would be good to live with she kinda drives me crazy and trys to control everything I do and nothing I do is good enough..


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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    are those people giving you shit paying your bills? why embarresed? girl, this is just a business.

    get your finances together and start your business later one. one thing at a time, worry about the neccessities, save away for whatever your business will be. then u will be happy. simple as that.

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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    after reading your post, sounds like you have a lot of bull shit going on. i dont understand why making yourself happy is such a crime?

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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    yeah well find the job that it really fits your knowledge it makes you happy.
    thanks

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    Default Re: embarrassed to go back to dancing :(

    It is a hard decision, but if moving in with your granny is a better situation, you should do that. It isn't easy to be without friends and boyfriend, but would you rather stay at home and fight with everyone under your roof or move somewhere that will at least give you a break on some of those issues?

    You can try to challenge the out of state thing, explain to the judge that it will be doing your children a favor by putting them in a better situation- you'll be in school and have a job. All they can say is no! You didn't mention the dad doing anything like babysitting, bring that up also. If he wants them close, he needs to step up to the plate! No way would I have agreed to be tied down to one area if dad wasn't contributing. I'm not blaming you on that, I know some courts are more stringent than others when it comes to moving. The one in my area lets the mom move if she can prove it will benefit the children especially financially.

    I don't know all of your backstory, so I apologize if some of this is off base. I know personally how frustrating it is to be a single mom trying to make stuff better and it seems that everything is working against you.

    If you were making money dancing, you are going to wear invisible earplugs and do your thing and the fact that YOU and handling your business should be enough to comfort you.
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