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Thread: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

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    Veteran Member prettysammie's Avatar
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    Default Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Hi!

    I also posted in the newbie board. I'm Samantha, but I go by Sammie or Sam. I've danced pretty much my whole life, and I love it. I've always wanted to try stripping but I'm kind of scared. I've taken some pole dancing classes but only ever stripped for boyfriends and a few fwb's.

    Most of my friends are guys, and I'm not sure how or even if I want to bring this up with girls I dance with at the studio. Of course all my guy friends totally say I should do it. They even volunteered to watch me practice so I don't get nervous.

    Is it better to start with private parties or to start with a club? I feel like private parties would be less intimidating. How do you get started with private parties? Do you just put an ad on craigslist or just start with friends' parties and let word of mouth spread?

    Another question I have is a really good friend of mine is getting married and I'm the only girl invited to his bachelor party. His best man is a kind of ex, and thinks that it would be a real treat if suddenly the music started and I was the stripper. I'm up for it if it'll make my friend's party better. Since I know the groom and the best man I'm not worried about being the only naked girl in a room full of guys. It seems like a good way to try things out, but I want to know what other girls think.

    If I do this, what should I do? What do guys expect at a private party. I've been reading this forum and know I should do more than just dance and get naked.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Quote Originally Posted by prettysammie View Post
    Hi!

    I also posted in the newbie board. I'm Samantha, but I go by Sammie or Sam. I've danced pretty much my whole life, and I love it. I've always wanted to try stripping but I'm kind of scared. I've taken some pole dancing classes but only ever stripped for boyfriends and a few fwb's.

    Most of my friends are guys, and I'm not sure how or even if I want to bring this up with girls I dance with at the studio. Of course all my guy friends totally say I should do it. They even volunteered to watch me practice so I don't get nervous.

    Is it better to start with private parties or to start with a club? I feel like private parties would be less intimidating. How do you get started with private parties? Do you just put an ad on craigslist or just start with friends' parties and let word of mouth spread?

    Another question I have is a really good friend of mine is getting married and I'm the only girl invited to his bachelor party. His best man is a kind of ex, and thinks that it would be a real treat if suddenly the music started and I was the stripper. I'm up for it if it'll make my friend's party better. Since I know the groom and the best man I'm not worried about being the only naked girl in a room full of guys. It seems like a good way to try things out, but I want to know what other girls think.

    If I do this, what should I do? What do guys expect at a private party. I've been reading this forum and know I should do more than just dance and get naked.
    Personally, I think starting at a club is better. You can pick up tricks from other dancers and learn the business. I started doing parties after I was dancing at clubs, and I got started working for several agencies, I quit these and started working for myself, as well as starting my own agency. This was before the internet was huge, so I advertised in local papers along with word of mouth at the clubs. I started getting shows both ways. I've never used Craigslist, but have heard there are many scams there.

    As for your situation with your friends, I'd be leery. Once you become a stripper their view of you will likely change. This is why I never did parties for anyone who was a close male friend unless we already had the kind of relationship where they could deal. If you think the relationships wouldn't change, then it's probably a better situation than dancing for strangers right away. Dancing for strangers can be a little intimidated.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    I think it's a terrible idea. It could change the way your guy friends ee you forever.

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    Veteran Member prettysammie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post

    As for your situation with your friends, I'd be leery. Once you become a stripper their view of you will likely change. This is why I never did parties for anyone who was a close male friend unless we already had the kind of relationship where they could deal. If you think the relationships wouldn't change, then it's probably a better situation than dancing for strangers right away. Dancing for strangers can be a little intimidated.
    Our relationship is pretty open in a lot of ways. I'm not super girlie but I know my guy friends do see me as a girl. They always joke about my dancing as me being a stripper and they know I want to do it if I wasn't so chicken. Some have been really supportive and others I know just want to see me naked any way they can.

    I was thinking that it'd be less intimidating, because if I totally screw up and they hate it I can just sit back down and get drunk like everyone else. So after I dance, do I just hang out naked or do I get dressed? I read about the whip cream shot idea and that sounds like fun.

    What can I do to make my friend's night really memorable? I don't want to do anything that'd humiliate him because I love him way too much for that. But I want to really blow his mind. His future wife kind of hates me anyway, so I don't think we're going to see each other again after he gets married. I guess this is as much for me as it is for him.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    wow ok i would smack the shit out of this guys best man.

    i am also mostly friends with hetero males. and all of my male friends know i am a dancer. HOWEVER, NONE OF THEM WERE ACTUALLY DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK I WOULD STRIP FOR THEM.

    and im very open about it too. i have had my friends act as my security before, because i trust them with my life and they also are big dudes, so it makes sense. so they have seen me strip. but none of them asked me to be their entertainment for the night. They were all smart enough to know that this was out of boundaries completely. also, they did security where i paid them. so i hired my friends as bouncers, not as people who i was there to entertain.

    The closest any of them have ever come to asking this was when they wanted to start a jello wrestling tournament to make a lot of money. they wanted me to help organize in it and bring girls to wrestle, in exchange for cash of course. then one of them suggested that i also compete, but that suggestion was quickly stifled with a glare from me.

    and perhaps if it was a friend who was attending a bachelor party of a bachelor who i didnt know. since the freind knows i like money, if the bachelor was looking for a stripper he might tell me.

    but asking me to be the entertainment at a party for a close friend... and on top of that a party that i am ALREADY INVITED TO AS A GUEST?!?!?!!!!!??

    Hell no. i would beat the fuck out of them.

    the only possible way i can see this being acceptable is if you and the bachelor had a fling or an almost fling or some history, and you really really wanted this to be as a fuck you to the wife. but you still would be surrounded by your close circle of friends.

    yea, go audition at a club. get the business hustle mind in you. in due time you will understand why i think the best man should be slapped.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    agreed with Athena on the general point that your first 'stripping' experience should NOT be in front of a bunch of guys that you know personally.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Plus, even if the guys think its cool - the soon-to-be bride would probably be less than thrilled. Many girls hate strippers as it is, especially private party dancers... but it would be 10x worse if she knew that he actually knew who you were or how to reach you.

    I say its a bad idea.


    I do think clubs are a much better place to start generally speaking.
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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post

    the only possible way i can see this being acceptable is if you and the bachelor had a fling or an almost fling or some history, and you really really wanted this to be as a fuck you to the wife. but you still would be surrounded by your close circle of friends.

    yea, go audition at a club. get the business hustle mind in you. in due time you will understand why i think the best man should be slapped.

    I guess I do have that sort of relationship with the bachelor. We never dated but we were friends with benefits and he's really one of my closest friends. I don't really understand why the best man should be slapped but I do understand that people are saying maybe it isn't a good idea.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    I definitely say don't dance for people you know like that, especially if you are a nerbie to the stripping world... Maybe after you've been dancing in a club for an extended period of time and you are comfortable in your job, if they come in then you can decide if you are ready for them to see you in that way.
    Stripping is a very touchy thing (no pun intended) and people will think differently of you, whether you think so or not.
    Start at a club and get comfortable working as a stripper. You say you've been dancing for years, but dancing and exotic dancing/stripping are too COMPLETELY different things. The dance part is the same, but the emotional and mental stuff is quite different. Not to mention your are NUDE, at your most vulnerable state.
    Don't dance for these guys, it will probably cause problems in some way.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    I agree with the ladies, a strip club is better to start, just get out there and pretend you are mingling at a party, that's how I got over the fear.

    BTW; get used to those lame ass guy comments saying "oh I'll let you practice on me" my responce is always 'yeah no shit you'll let me practice you just want a free show' I hate it, why do for free what you can be paid for?!

    Good luck.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    I'm still not sure if I should do it or not. Ok, I guess I totally know it's something I *shouldn't* do, but I've never let good judgment stop me before. Part of me really wants to do it because it seems scary and exciting. Part of me wants to do it just because I think his fiance is a total bitch and I know I'm never going to get to see my friend again. And partly I want to do it because I love my friend and there's nothing I wouldn't do to make his party the best it can be.

    My head agrees with all of you ladies, but my heart says "what the hell."

    I hate being such a newbie at this. I know that he and the best man will keep me safe, so I'm not worried about that. But I wish I knew what to do so I could make it the best thing anyone there has ever seen. I don't mind doing something stupid, but doing it badly really bothers me.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Well, I'm a wife and my husband and I are swingers. But, if one of his female friends had done what you are considering at his bachelor party, I would be livid. That is crossing a line for me and showing me a complete lack of respect.

    I would do everything in my power to completely cut you out of his life to prevent you from destroying my marriage since it would be obvious that you hate me and don't care about my feelings.

    That's my take as a married woman who has dealt with power struggles and drama from my husband's old fuck buddy friends.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Quote Originally Posted by prettysammie View Post
    I guess I do have that sort of relationship with the bachelor. We never dated but we were friends with benefits and he's really one of my closest friends. I don't really understand why the best man should be slapped but I do understand that people are saying maybe it isn't a good idea.
    Yea so this is largely a fuck you to his future wife as you think that she will not let him see you anymore. well if she finds out about this, she definitely wont let him see you anymore.

    I forget that for you newbies this is largely a fantasy for you. To me, and to most girls on this board, stripping is very much so a business-- we dont do this for shits and giggles. Which is why you being the entertainment for a friends bachelor party just sounds so ridiculous to me. A lot of girls who know i am a dancer will tell me "wow ive always wanted to do that and ive been thinking about trying it but im not sure i could.." and they are always obviously fishing and wanting me to tell them that they would be great at it. at this point, i refuse to humor their fantasy, unless, of course, i am trying to go home with her in which case i will tell her whatever the fuck she wants to hear.

    would you be getting paid for your services as entertainment for the bachelor party? How much?
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    Yea so this is largely a fuck you to his future wife as you think that she will not let him see you anymore. well if she finds out about this, she definitely wont let him see you anymore.

    I forget that for you newbies this is largely a fantasy for you. To me, and to most girls on this board, stripping is very much so a business-- we dont do this for shits and giggles. Which is why you being the entertainment for a friends bachelor party just sounds so ridiculous to me. A lot of girls who know i am a dancer will tell me "wow ive always wanted to do that and ive been thinking about trying it but im not sure i could.." and they are always obviously fishing and wanting me to tell them that they would be great at it. at this point, i refuse to humor their fantasy, unless, of course, i am trying to go home with her in which case i will tell her whatever the fuck she wants to hear.

    would you be getting paid for your services as entertainment for the bachelor party? How much?

    No, I know she won't let us be friends anymore. She already hates me even though when they first met I was nothing but nice to her. I know I sound stupid and petty and maybe I am. If so, I'm sorry. It hurts and I don't know what else to do and none of his friends seem to understand why he's marrying her anyway.

    As for getting paid. No, I wouldn't feel right about that. I don't even know what I'm doing. I mean, I know how to dance and I've taken classes, but I've never stripped and never put on a show. That wouldn't be right for me to take my friends' money. And it's not like I really have much money to chip in to the party or to get him something to show I care, so I was just thinking maybe this would be a good way since it's also something I always wanted to try.

    I'm sorry I sound so dumb.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Quote Originally Posted by prettysammie View Post
    I'm still not sure if I should do it or not. Ok, I guess I totally know it's something I *shouldn't* do, but I've never let good judgment stop me before. Part of me really wants to do it because it seems scary and exciting. Part of me wants to do it just because I think his fiance is a total bitch and I know I'm never going to get to see my friend again. And partly I want to do it because I love my friend and there's nothing I wouldn't do to make his party the best it can be.

    My head agrees with all of you ladies, but my heart says "what the hell."

    I hate being such a newbie at this. I know that he and the best man will keep me safe, so I'm not worried about that. But I wish I knew what to do so I could make it the best thing anyone there has ever seen. I don't mind doing something stupid, but doing it badly really bothers me.
    You don't sound dumb, you sound heartbroken. This has nothing to do with stripping, and everything to do with feelings you have for this man.
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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    I just wanted to let everyone know that I decided I'll go to his party but I wont strip or anything. I wish him every happiness and I'm going to take a lot of pictures so I get to remember him. I know it's a party and I know he's happy but I feel like I'm going to a funeral.

    It's not that I wish he was marrying me. It's just that I wish he wasn't marrying a total bitch.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Quote Originally Posted by prettysammie View Post
    I just wanted to let everyone know that I decided I'll go to his party but I wont strip or anything. I wish him every happiness and I'm going to take a lot of pictures so I get to remember him. I know it's a party and I know he's happy but I feel like I'm going to a funeral.

    It's not that I wish he was marrying me. It's just that I wish he wasn't marrying a total bitch.
    well im glad you decided not to strip, i think in the long run you will be thankful you made that decision.

    im sorry you are basically losing a friend, and i know somewhat how you feel. most of my friends are also hetero males, and i am dreading the day that they all get married and their wives tell them they cant be friends with me... i know it will happen in a few yrs. most of my best friends in Cleveland all had the same attitude about dating that i do, which is simply, "i dont date" so it was rarely a concern. even so though, when a rare occasion happened when one of htem did date, the rest of us always hated it because it meant he would be pussywhipped and disappear off the map for the next few months or so.

    so yea, i feel your pain. have you tried talking to your friend? does he intend to stay friends with you at least? if he intends to then there may be some hope...
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    I'm glad you didn't do it after reading more into it. It's obvious you liked him and are hurting. I had several guy friends who I was strictly platonic with and we had lots of fun, but once they married we rarely talked. Right now I have a weird situation where I want a guy friend (and he wants me but is afraid). I know that if it doesn't get to engaged/living together/marriage stages we'll likely go our separate ways because of the situation because it's not and never been strictly platonic.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    I know he'd like to stay friends, but I don't think his wife would ever let that happen. Especially after she knew we had some history together. I tried being friends with her, but she's jealous and possessive and in my opinion a total bitch. But then again I don't seem to make a lot friends with other girls.

    I'm kind of sad about the whole thing, but I'm going to go, and I'm going to get really really drunk, and I'm going to have a good time and I'm going to make sure he has a good time.

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    Quote Originally Posted by prettysammie View Post
    Another question I have is a really good friend of mine is getting married and I'm the only girl invited to his bachelor party. His best man is a kind of ex, and thinks that it would be a real treat if suddenly the music started and I was the stripper. I'm up for it if it'll make my friend's party better. Since I know the groom and the best man I'm not worried about being the only naked girl in a room full of guys. It seems like a good way to try things out, but I want to know what other girls think.
    I wouldn't suggest it. If you're cool with all of your friends and acquaintances knowing, then sure, go right ahead. But if you don't really want anyone knowing, I wouldn't advise it. It just doesn't seem like a great idea- what if his wife found out?

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    Default Re: Friend's bachelor party as a way to get started?

    The party is in about a month. What should I do to make sure it's fun? I'm going to a strip club this weekend (my first ever!) to maybe not be so nervous and to know what to expect. How should I behave? What does a girl wear to a bachelor party?

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