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Thread: Quitting without a plan?

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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Quitting without a plan?

    Have any of you ever realized you quite dancing and did it without a plan?

    I danced for 6yrs. I hated it the last 2 when I was working in a contact club. I kept wanting to quite but never had a good way to. I am in law school and while I could fit a part time job into my schedule, I needed more money than a part time job would pay. So I kept dancing. I kept finding reasons not to go to work. It didnt matter if I banked in a night, I hated the job. Not the dancing, but the contact with the customers and having to be "fake" all night.

    I had been told for a long time that I should get into modeling. I had done it for free for friends who were photographers, but they told me I should charge. So, I decided to try it. I put up profiles on MM and OMP. Started doing that, successfully.

    I now haven't danced in 6 months. Some of it was for a while simply having anxiety attacks and not being able to go in. My mother helped me with bills at that point. Now, it's because between my loans and the modeling, I don't "need" to dance.

    I had wanted to quit, but had not formulated a plan yet. This just sort of happened.

    Has this happened to anyone else? How did it work out?

    I am planning on continuing the modeling. I have to get an internship this summer (which = no pay) so I might have to get another part time job to make my bills, which are almost 2k a month when i dont have loans (i dont ake them out for the summer). I am debating between a "normal" part time job and going back to dancing at a no contact club (which I could do easily).

    I'm just looking for peoples thoughts and experiences. Please?

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    i accidentally got a full time job. i applied at one of my favorite stores (cause i assumed it was part time and i wanted the discount) and they gave me 40 hours a week. i've been in twice since january because i just don't have the time. i would quit, but i don't have a good reason, and they are already understaffed. :/ so i feel bad quitting...but i also get depressed when i look at my paycheck and say to myself, holy shit that's what i made on a friday. :/
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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    see...i dont feel bad quitting. I love being done with it, lol.

    i just wonder if anyone else sort of had it i"happen to them".

    I keep telling people I'd quit, etc. never had a plan. Now suddenly I'm finding myself thinking I need to pick up a shift for my guy. Beofr I quit he really wants to fulfill a common fantays of ours..have him come in, buy a room for an hour and screw around. nothing illegal, but push the limits. sort of have our own little fantasy.

    its just weird. like, i thought i'd have this whole plan for quitting, and yet it just sort of happened

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    I don't have a personal story, but I seriously think that's awesome. That's how it should happen, ideally, I think. Organically. You phased out of it, don't miss it, and aren't addicted to the money it gave you. Respect!

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    TY^^^

    somehow i felt like i should miss it given how many girls have said they do when they stopped. It just was toxic for me by time I quit.

    I mean, pure stage dancing is tempting, because it was good money without, really, much work, but I sort of don;t want to even get into that group again.

    I feel like, since I am out, I should just stay out.

    I just feel weird going back to my club just to fulfill a fantasy between me and my guy, lol.

    No that they would really care. there are a ton of girls there. It is a DV owned club.

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    Girl, if you're happy out, STAY out. I see this industry suck so many intelligent women in, it's not even funny.

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    ^^^^true.

    I guess it's just liek somehow I feel like i 'shouldnt' be happy about being out?

    I heat so many girls talk about how they miss it, etc. that I wonder if something is wrong with me for not missing it.

    i mean. i LOVE dancing for friends/bfs, etc. just not for money, lol. The dancing is fun, just not the customer contact, lol.

    i know I will do back for one slow shift just to fulfill my fantasy with my guy, but I don;t count hat as work, lol. I 'll sit on my ass till he gets there, have fun, then sit on my ass till the shift is over, lol

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    I quit after a well formulated plan and finishing school, but I believe if you want something bad enough, like getting out, you will find a way. I think that you didn't want to go so bad that you kept an eye out for anything that could work instead and things worked out for you, which is great

    As far as feeling like you shouldn't be happy to be out, every girl is different. If you like the dancing and costumes just put on private shows for your boyfriend. I kept everything and me and my boyfriend take advantage of the things I learned from dancing, it is fun
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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    Quote Originally Posted by nicole84 View Post
    ^^^^true.

    I guess it's just liek somehow I feel like i 'shouldnt' be happy about being out?

    I heat so many girls talk about how they miss it, etc. that I wonder if something is wrong with me for not missing it.
    no, that's awesome. i'm really happy for you, and i'm glad you're out and don't miss it. everyone is different.
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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    Sort of. At the time I qut club dancing, I had other jobs (radio PR along with weekend bachelor parties and modeling) so I knew it was coming, just didn't know when. I quit sooner than I planned to, but I was so tired of the bs at the clubs that I had enough and walked out the door. I don't regret it because it wasn't fun anymore and I was seeing what it was becoming. I saw so many women have their lives destroyed by the industry. Sure, there are times I miss dancing but then I read or talk to current dancers and realize that I'd hate to go back. I won't lie, it was rough right after both financially and emotionally but I was able to recover and be happy.

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    i'm in the same boat. i didn't really have a long term plan but dancing did help me travel and study a lot while i was doing it. i'm almost done with it and while i'll often beat myself up about not having 'done' anything with my money i have to realise i have ... just cos its not the tangibles or money in the bank doesn't mean my time was 'wasted' as i sometimes feel. as was mentioned, i think organically and naturally is an awesome way to do it. you have to love what you do, money or not ... and if the bad no longer outweighs the good its time to let it drop. which you did and which is way cool :-) if your doing what comes naturally and what your enjoy life has to work out xx

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    I have to admit that my retirement from live dancing was pretty well planned in advance. I had gradually been building up other sources of income that didn't involve live dancing ( like modeling, a pay website, webcam, B movies ), and I cut back on live dancing gradually as these other business pursuits started paying off. I also set a clear target in regard to how much money I needed to squirrel away in order to retire entirely, and didn't 'pull the plug' until I had actually hit that target.

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    Do not quite without a plan b!

    Actually the first time I quite it was simple because I was young, and had cheap rent so it was easy to just not show up one day.

    It would be a little harder now although not impossible to quit next week if I had to.




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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    lol, well, my plan B is graduating, etc. It's not like I quit and am in the void.

    I meant quitting without a plan as to how to quit. I.e. 'i'm going to save this much, work this much longer, phase out, etc'

    my school loans cover my rent, etc. my modeling is covering my bills. I never got into stripping to save up to buy a house or anything.

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    Default Re: Quitting without a plan?

    Quote Originally Posted by nicole84 View Post
    lol, well, my plan B is graduating, etc. It's not like I quit and am in the void.

    I meant quitting without a plan as to how to quit. I.e. 'i'm going to save this much, work this much longer, phase out, etc'

    my school loans cover my rent, etc. my modeling is covering my bills. I never got into stripping to save up to buy a house or anything.
    then you're exactly where you need to be :-)

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