Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: how do i get over my shy-ness?

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Vancouver, WA
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Sad how do i get over my shy-ness?

    I got hired and everything, but i'm really shy when it comes to lap dancing and i haven't done it so far. I had fun my first night, but this job just makes me feel like a piece of meat. I just want some tips to help me with this (and dont tell me to quit. i NEED this job).
    Thanks for your help.

  2. #2
    Curious Guest Miss Mistie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    1
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    For me, shyness was one of the hardest things to get over, especially since it involved a complete change of my thinking and attitude. It seemed like I was 'branded' as the innocent, shy, new girl at the first club I worked at. Fortunately, a lot of the customers would ask me for a dance. So I got more comfortable doing lap dances this way, but I still had my good, shy girl label which seemed like I wouldn't be able to shake off. So I ended up going to another club which is a lot farther than my first club to try to clear my 'shy girl' label hoping that it would be easier to reinvent myself. This is where the old saying FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT really helped me out.

    GOOD LUCK!!

  3. #3
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Vancouver, WA
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    thanks. I'll try this...

  4. #4
    zippy092
    Guest

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    Congrats on getting hired!

    I got hired as well, tomorrow will be my first night, I wanna know a few tips as well!

  5. #5
    Featured Member veronicachick's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2008
    Location
    :-)
    Posts
    864
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 41 Times in 27 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    as a stripper, you are pretty much looked at as a piece of meat at work. comes with the territory.

    as you work more shifts, you will get used to the routine and you will become less shy. Maybe a drink at the beginning of your shift will help loosen you up a little.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Lexi_Girl's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    370
    Thanks
    158
    Thanked 100 Times in 66 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    I read something on Britney Ireland's blog that stuck with me and I try to remember when I'm being shy.

    I can't remember it word for word, now, but she talked about the feeling of anxiety, of planning to approach someone 'in a bit', and then feeling relief when another girl went over to someone. Firstly, that validated to me that I wasn't alone in that feeling, and that it was something I CAN overcome.

    The worst that can happen is you end up where you started, waiting to approach someone, and no good comes from you doing nothing.

    I really wish I had bookmarked that page, actually XD

    The best advice, really, is 'just do it.' Don't think about it, just do it. Approach one guy, chat. If he's not interested, use your momentum to move on to the next guy. Don't break. Don't allow yourself time to recover from conversation. Keep moving, keep up your momentum, and try to keep the conversation light and silly. If you're laughing, you'll not only look better to the person talking to you, but all the people around you and all those men and ladies who may be looking in your direction. If you're stuck for conversation, make a silly joke, or a comment. Make conversation about the amazing moves of the lady on stage and ask your guy what he likes to see best.

    Most importantly, make sure to seal the deal. Mention dances or VIP. Ask.

    I'm still shy, sometimes, and often rely on my costumes catching a man's attention enough to come over and talk to me. It does work sometimes, but I wouldn't recommend relying on people to approach you because a lot of nights you'll be very disappointed.

    Another point is: try to find a good place to park, if you have to. If it's dead slow, make sure to be standing in a place where men will have to pass when the come in, or where the men may stand when they come in. I imagine it's different for every place.

    I'd just reiterate that 'just do it' is the most important thing to remember. If you're procrastinating or scared, just do it. Force yourself to do it until it's second nature.

    Goodluck.

  7. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Lexi_Girl For This Useful Post:


  8. #7
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    the mountains ....
    Posts
    14,201
    Thanks
    15,165
    Thanked 21,344 Times in 9,307 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    You'll just used to it. Most of this job is getting people to buy dances. That's where you'll spend the majority of your energy. You'll find that motivation comes naturally ( the more you make on each shift, the less shifts you'll have to work to make the money you want ) .

  9. #8
    Member nicolerosegarden's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    30
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    When I started dancing I was extremely shy. I got over my shyness with a dancer persona. I was a completely different person as a dancer than in real life. You have a different name people call you by, the club is usually pretty dim so even your appearance is different. You are wearing your makeup differently. Just take your dancer name and form a character around it. Your dancer persona is sexy and unafraid of any of the men at the club. She is powerful and earns more than enough money to support herself!

    This worked really well for me. Good luck
    http://www.rosegardenproject.com <-Adult Entertainment Industry Community

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to nicolerosegarden For This Useful Post:


  11. #9
    Senior Member Dancing Queen's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked 33 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    Exactly like NicoleRoseGarden said...its your dancer persona that needs to come out. Girl..be the girl that you would not be but want to be.. INSIDE the club. Be an actress and work it. This is a job..don't judge yourself. And a peice of meat...I beg to differ. WE strippers have the power. Remember that!!!!!!!!! Go in there and dominate..be confident and just walk up to these dudes. Let them pay YOU for your time. That's what its about. You're an intelligent woman that had the guts to even go out and audition. I would say that's the biggest things that stops girls from going out and doing this job. But you did it! So be proud of yourself. Go ready the hustle hut thread..there's tons of info on there about how to approach guys.


    xoxo

  12. #10
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,066
    Thanks
    440
    Thanked 1,844 Times in 779 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    your best bet, especially if quitting is not an option, is to keep going to work every day and keep trying. you will pick up sales skills as you go, and as you observe veteran dancers. so be patient, show up, and hopefully you will get over the shy newbie self-doubting period quickly.

  13. #11
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    1,864
    Thanks
    83
    Thanked 457 Times in 287 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    when it comes to talking to custies and asking for dances, i can be extremely shy. but i have zero problems getting touched (within club rules, of course) and looked at as a piece of meat.

    at least with stripping you get paid a decent amount of money for being treated like a piece of meat. do managers at minimum wage jobs pay you more cos they want to fuck you? do you make more money in a retail job because of repeat business from awkward middle aged perverts who keep buying crap they don't want because they want to fuck the cute cashier? does that dude catcalling you when you put gas in your tank make it rain? fuck no.

    do you think a customer views you as less of an object when he tips yo onstage? do you think he views you as less of an object when you're walking around in a skimpy stripper outfit and heels and not doing dances? of course they don't. but at most clubs, lapdances are where most of the money comes from. so if you're going to be an object, you need to get paid.

    if you can't quit and you need the job, you're just going to have to learn how to accept it.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

  14. #12
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Vancouver, WA
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    Thank you for the help. I'm going to think even more on my persona and trying to get over the shy newbie stage. wish me luck~!

  15. #13
    Veteran Member sunny,*'s Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Planet Earth
    Posts
    218
    Thanks
    110
    Thanked 243 Times in 63 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by she sells sanctuary View Post
    do managers at minimum wage jobs pay you more cos they want to fuck you? do you make more money in a retail job because of repeat business from awkward middle aged perverts who keep buying crap they don't want because they want to fuck the cute cashier? does that dude catcalling you when you put gas in your tank make it rain? fuck no.
    ^^^so, so, so true.









    “Things are as they are. Looking out into it the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” -Alan Watts

  16. #14
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Vancouver, WA
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by she sells sanctuary View Post
    at least with stripping you get paid a decent amount of money for being treated like a piece of meat. do managers at minimum wage jobs pay you more cos they want to fuck you? do you make more money in a retail job because of repeat business from awkward middle aged perverts who keep buying crap they don't want because they want to fuck the cute cashier? does that dude catcalling you when you put gas in your tank make it rain? fuck no.
    .
    yeah i'm trying to keep that in mind cuz its a good point

  17. #15
    Member nicolerosegarden's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    30
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by trinity19 View Post
    Thank you for the help. I'm going to think even more on my persona and trying to get over the shy newbie stage. wish me luck~!
    Good luck I am sure that you will do fine. We are all afraid when we are doing something new.
    http://www.rosegardenproject.com <-Adult Entertainment Industry Community

  18. #16
    Senior Member Dancing Queen's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked 33 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    Soooooooooo true, Nicolerosegarden!

  19. #17
    Curious Guest cassy's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by trinity19 View Post
    I got hired and everything, but i'm really shy when it comes to lap dancing and i haven't done it so far. I had fun my first night, but this job just makes me feel like a piece of meat. I just want some tips to help me with this (and dont tell me to quit. i NEED this job).
    Thanks for your help.
    i used to take shots but that can always go wrong. if they're ugly i always have my ass towards them and think about something else haha

  20. #18
    Member Dasza's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Poland
    Posts
    67
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 85 Times in 20 Posts

    Default Re: how do i get over my shy-ness?

    im sure you take a look on my youtube channel you might find some very usefull informations from my videos. if you need anything just PM me and ill try to do all i can tp help
    http://www.youtube.com/user/dubaimirage1

  21. The Following User Says Thank You to Dasza For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. OMG! It's Deni Nekkid-ness!
    By Deni in forum Picture Post
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 04-18-2007, 06:40 PM
  2. the awesome-ness of being off of BC
    By Tart in forum Body Business
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-26-2006, 05:35 PM
  3. the bruises on my knees would suggest my new-ness..
    By libidiny in forum Coming Out
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 02-27-2006, 07:55 PM
  4. MORE tropical storm-ness?
    By PaigeDWinter in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-30-2005, 03:54 PM
  5. SUPER retarded-ness!!
    By Lolita86 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 01-21-2005, 07:35 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •