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Thread: Frustrated...No Goals...

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    Default Frustrated...No Goals...

    Arg! I have no idea what I want to do with my life career-wise. It makes me so antsy when I want to spend money on things for my current business(plastic surgery, clothing, yadda yadda yadda) because even though it's an investment that I know will bring me more money, I feel guilty for sinking so much money into a temporary career. I love being a stripper, I would do it forever if I could lol. But I can't. I just wish I had some sort of side-gig(back-up plan) to invest in.

    Just a lil' rant.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Hey cheer up girl! I was shopping the other day and for some reason the t-shirt's slogan I saw, just popped into my head after reading this post. It said "Thank God I'm hot." Makes me think of you now haha. Things could be worse.

    But anyway as far as a career... if you want to make a career out of dancing, then do it. But if not I would invest in your education rather than plastic surgery (which you definitely do NOT need!!!, clothes, yadda, etc.) Your mind lasts much longer than your body and looks.

    Personally I am planning on dancing my way through college for the next 6 years while I go for my Pharm D. 2 years of undergrad math and sciences-- then 4 years of professional Pharmacy school. Starting pay is like 90-100k.

    Hope this is of some help to you!

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Zinaida...we have all been there! I just laugh at all the 18 year olds in my uni class that think they have it all figured out. I'm just thinking, wait till you're a little older, mommy and daddy cut the cord and life really begins. Everything you think is important at 18 changes by the time you're 28 and likely again every decade for the rest of your life. The movie the Curious Case of Benjamin Button really hit a cord with me on this one. It really is never too late to start something new as he says. People who put too many plans in place often end up pulled to pieces by anxiety and pressure to meet all the expectations they've put on themselves. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

    How about your goal for the rest of 2010 is to research your next career. Take time to ask girls on here, people you know, read up on different industries. Think about what you are passionate about. If you think you know your "dream job" after retirement find someone who does it. Ask them lots of questions, maybe even volunteer for them to get an idea of what they do. Once you settle on an industry that inspires you, then you can come up with an action plan - wether you need savings, education, etc. But the most important part is figuring out if it is really what you want. Don't choose because of money only... you love dancing, do you really want to do something you hate in the real world just for money? So many people just wake up one day and go "I think I'll do _____" and end up spending tons of money and time only to later realize it will never make them happy. (I am one of them).

    Dancing was my quarter life crisis. I was in another career that paid pretty decent when I decided I'd had enough after only 3 years in my dream job (the one I thought I'd wanted since I was 16). I then turned to dancing so I could clear my head and figure out what I wanted. I did this plan I'm suggesting in 2008-2009. I took 7 months researching careers. I was most interested in becoming a Veterinarian after 7 months of research. I then started taking steps to make sure it was what I wanted and make it happen. I started volunteering at shelters and clinics, talking to other vets and vet nurses. I volunteered with an animal rescue program. Started putting together my application for University. Now, almost a year and half later I am in the 1st year of Veterinary Science and loving every minute of it. Well... almost every minute if you subtract chemistry LOL. Anyway hope that gives you some inspiration.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    I'm 31 and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing!! lol

    But I honestly think in my case, I just never had much interest in working as a career. Even as a kid, when they'd ask people what we wanted to be, and the other kids said "teacher", "fire fighter", "nurse", etc, I had NO idea. I just wanted THINGS and to live in a nice house and do things I enjoyed like drawing and singing, with my cats. A nice, quiet, simple life of indulgence and enjoyment. And I still want that, but unfortunately it takes money.

    This is the only reason why I work at all. I feel SO guilty cause my parents paid for my college degree and a 6 month business course, and yet I only work part time as a boring old brain-numbing secretary. And now this? Now because I have no money (due to only working part time), I am going to do webcam? (they don't know and will NEVER KNOW) *sigh*

    I tell others that guilt is a pointless emotion. It does nothing for anybody. Just makes you feel bad, stressed, pressured, like you SHOULD be doing something or feeling something you're not. What's the use in that!? I try and follow this advice myself, but I still feel guilty.

    Basically, I think if you're happy doing what you're doing, this is the important thing.

    How come you feel you could happily dance forever, but you "can't"? Who says? Follow your own desires always, or you will encounter problems and stress...*sounds like a fortune cookie*

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    From what I've been reading - It will be extremely hard to find a tolerable job after dancing. You make excellent money and are worshipped by guys in the SC. Outside of the SC, you will be an overworked, underpaid and underappreciated lowly employee bossed around mercillesly by the same fat balding middle-aged guys that used to worship you in the SC, and you'll have to work for many many many years to climb up the corporate ladder.

    The only sensible solution is start a small business. You're already operating as an independent contractor/small business, so you would be applying these great skills you've acquired. The possibilities are limitless, but here are some examples of sexy-themed small business ideas: strip-aerobics and pole dancing studio, promotions company using female models (i.e., bikini girls wearing company logos to promote a company/sponsor in bars and night clubs), partybus with stripper pole and dancer giving guests a tour of the major strip clubs in the city, sexy hair salon for men (e.g., http://www.sexy-scissors.com/), etc.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by felicity_fleece View Post
    I just wanted THINGS and to live in a nice house and do things I enjoyed like drawing and singing, with my cats. A nice, quiet, simple life of indulgence and enjoyment. And I still want that, but unfortunately it takes money.
    Same here lol!!

    I'm interested in a lot of things, but when I consider the careers involved with them I am turned off. Just like Jack0 said, after stripping and making plenty of money and being able to work and not work whenever you want, freedom and mucho money becomes a major prerequisite when considering alternative careers. And let's face it....that's hard to come by!

    Having my own business would be my best bet....what what the fuck do I do? I just feel so anxious when I spend money on things for my current career. I'd feel a lot better if I was also sinking money into some sort of fabulous investment lol.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    Zinaida...we have all been there! I just laugh at all the 18 year olds in my uni class that think they have it all figured out. I'm just thinking, wait till you're a little older, mommy and daddy cut the cord and life really begins
    Haha exactly. I'm 23 btw.

    Awesome posts everyone.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Zinaida: I just clicked your link. Was that you? If so, You're frikkin HOTTT! What the heck do you need sugery for? I was like "what tha..." when I saw that pic...LOL!

    AnnaBanana has given you great advice. Unfortunately, Our brain DOES last longer than our looks so just go to school for something. Education is always a damn good investment and If you want to start your own business take a business management course or something.

    However you're still young, WORK IT! I'm 20. Though I'm a workaholic I'm still going to nursing school. You'll find something!

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Sometimes what you should be doing will just come to you. I knew since I was 3 I wanted to do one thing: be a radio DJ. I went to school for it, even worked in it, but found that it wasn't what it was cracked up to be. While DJing I started dancing because I made more money doing that. Then I ended up in PR and at the end of my club dancing career I was also working in that field and in radio. Later I fell into training. Now I am unemployed with a masters degree and can't find a job in any of that, but this is due to the economy. I've considered going back to school to be a teacher, but put that on hold because in reality I don't want to be a teacher (besides, teachers are losing jobs too).

    My point to all of this? Find something you like. My parents wanted me to go into nursing but I can't tolerate blood. I know eventually I'll find another job in either PR or training. It might not be for a few months but will eventually. I'd rather be in a job that I like that pays ok than a job that pays well but stinks.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    My suggestion for anyone who doesn't know what they want to do with themselves...

    Do something!

    It's fine if you want to dance I mean who wouldn't. It's what I do...

    However what is going to be your exit plan?

    What I have found is that some people have to go back to their childhood. What did you want to be when you grew up? Most kids wanted to be vetranarians and work in zoos. Some wanted to be artists, some wanted to be rock stars.

    Go way, way back and think about what you wanted. If it's not reasonable or something that interests you, what was your second choice or what did you want to do in your teens or early 20's?

    Dance towards that. Do it on the side in your spare time until you make more money than stripping or enough to live comfortably to quit dancing if you so choose.




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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    idk im in the same boat...however going back tomy childhood i love animals..hell i still do i used to rescue the wild cats that hung out in the cold by my basment window...im such a animal lover working like at a shelter would be a bad thing...i would get too attached...fuck around and rescue the whole damn shelter.....welcome to my shelter..i mean house lmao
    still here.... just in another chapter..

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    I say sink some money in to a dream home, invest in the market, buy a decent car and retire early. Become one of those 40 something retirees, make that a goal! Don't know how old you are (I am assuming you are in your mid-late 20's?) but I think that is doable.

    Or you could buy a few properties and rent them out, making "landlord" your job.



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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Take your time searching for what sparks your interest. Nothing worse than wasting time doing something you hate. I've done that mistake. But now I know what I want to do after dancing.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by OJenni! View Post
    Or you could buy a few properties and rent them out, making "landlord" your job.
    That's a good idea. Buy up foreclosure properties in Florida. Getting a bank loan is the hard part.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    I'm def with you all on the " i want stuff and an easy life to pursue my hobbies" front. the bright side for me is that i do have my college degree to fall back on if needs be, otherwise my exit plan involves buying more income properties (i have 2 so far) and keeping up with my gig as a real estate agent - its fun, easy, and noone is really your boss, - you only go to the office when you need to file paperwork. and i love looking at houses....
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    That's a good idea. Buy up foreclosure properties in Florida. Getting a bank loan is the hard part.
    This is not a good time to be buying investment properties unless you have a TON of money and can afford to sit on property with no guarantee of income from it.

    I used to to do this on the side....back in the late 90s I owned two apartment buildings. I sold them just before the real estate boom (argh, still kick myself over that). I have tinkered with the idea of getting back in to it...have talked with people I know that own rental property right now. It's baaaad...renters are hard to find, rental rates are dropping, and trying to get financing for rental property...haha...good luck. Be prepared to put up at LEAST 25%.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    ^^^ But, what about all the people that lost their homes in Florida - aren't they turning into renters?

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by Zinaida View Post
    I'm interested in a lot of things, but when I consider the careers involved with them I am turned off. Just like Jack0 said, after stripping and making plenty of money and being able to work and not work whenever you want, freedom and mucho money becomes a major prerequisite when considering alternative careers. And let's face it....that's hard to come by!
    I've never actually had a job where freedom and money were in abundance, but BEFORE I ever had to work, I was happiest. I never had to work in school or university...didn't get my first job till I was almost 22. I always had enough money for what I wanted. And combine with that my natural lack of career ambition, plus my lucky childhood of living in nice houses and going on nice vacations regularly and all that, and...now? I need way more money than I can make in a job I hate so can't stand to work in full time! So this eventually = webcam for me.

    And yes, there are HEAPS of things I love doing - singing, making my own music, writing, reading, interior design...but NONE of them are especially practical or easy to make into a proper regular-income type of career.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    ^^^ But, what about all the people that lost their homes in Florida - aren't they turning into renters?

    They're turning in to people who are moving in with relatives, or moving back north.

    I wish they were becoming renters, because I'm sitting on a boatload of cash that I'd LOVE to use to buy rental property, but it's not time yet.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Sometimes what you should be doing will just come to you. I knew since I was 3 I wanted to do one thing: be a radio DJ. I went to school for it, even worked in it, but found that it wasn't what it was cracked up to be. While DJing I started dancing because I made more money doing that. Then I ended up in PR and at the end of my club dancing career I was also working in that field and in radio. Later I fell into training. Now I am unemployed with a masters degree and can't find a job in any of that, but this is due to the economy. I've considered going back to school to be a teacher, but put that on hold because in reality I don't want to be a teacher (besides, teachers are losing jobs too).

    My point to all of this? Find something you like. My parents wanted me to go into nursing but I can't tolerate blood. I know eventually I'll find another job in either PR or training. It might not be for a few months but will eventually. I'd rather be in a job that I like that pays ok than a job that pays well but stinks.
    Thanks, that was a very helpful post. How come you aren't going back to dancing?

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by OJenni! View Post
    I say sink some money in to a dream home, invest in the market, buy a decent car and retire early. Become one of those 40 something retirees, make that a goal! Don't know how old you are (I am assuming you are in your mid-late 20's?) but I think that is doable.

    Or you could buy a few properties and rent them out, making "landlord" your job.
    Buying up homes now is NOT a good time, depending on where you live most homes have lost value and havn't appreciated. 10 years ago you could buy a home and invest in it.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    I think it's about balance. Don't put all your money toward your dancing career but put a percentage towards it. Maybe 5%? I spend money on my work out classes and so forth and it's worth it! Any good business person puts money back into their business. Save a little and stay out of debt and start exploring your ideas. Just remember that every single career has drawbacks and no perfect job exists. I completely believe in putting some percentage of money into your head (education). No one can take that from you.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by deedee at the beach View Post
    Buying up homes now is NOT a good time, depending on where you live most homes have lost value and havn't appreciated. 10 years ago you could buy a home and invest in it.
    Isn't that the best time to buy? The problem is that you need money to service the loan if you can't find renters.

    My sister bought a house in Fla that had been sold several years ago at $220,000, and she got it for about $130,000. She's living there, though. She doesn't have to find renters.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    Isn't that the best time to buy? The problem is that you need money to service the loan if you can't find renters.

    My sister bought a house in Fla that had been sold several years ago at $220,000, and she got it for about $130,000. She's living there, though. She doesn't have to find renters.
    That's true and good for her that she found a great deal on a home but I can tell you this about Florida, particularly WHERE she bought it, the houses prices have not hit rock bottom yet so maybe even by next year that house she bought for $130k may be valued at $120k or even less within the next year or could be several years. I would warn ANYBODY buying properties here in Florida to wait it out because prices have been dropping even further, then you're stuck in a home that's upside down and so many people who've purchased homes here are just walking away... NOT that they can't afford to stay in them just because they owe more on it than it's worth and it's just not a wise business decision for them to stay. If I could I would rent a home til then....hell I wished I did just that.

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    Default Re: Frustrated...No Goals...

    I'm going to take a totally different viewpoint on this subject. If you check out the Dollar Den or any number of mainstream sources, you will find that the 'payback' equation of a professional career is becoming more and more questionable. In other words, with each passing year the cost of obtaining a professional college degree continues to rise, while the ( after-tax, after expenses ) earnings potential of that professional career does not. So far this phenomenon has primarily been associated with 'private sector' professional jobs, but it will arguably soon hit 'public sector' jobs too as bankrupt state and local gov'ts are forced to start laying off teachers, or as national health care cost controls forces the laying off of medical staff. The point of course is that paradigms do change. In much the same way that the paradigm of investing in housing as a sure-fire money maker has bitten the dust, the paradigm that a college education is a sure-fire money maker is increasingly coming into question.

    As a relatively young exotic dancer, you have the potential to earn more money in the next 10-15 years than many college educated professionals could earn in a lifetime ! Thus it's very possible that exotic dancing can be viewed as a successful career in and of itself. And like professional athletes, if they are 'careful' with their earnings, professional exotic dancers can be in a position of retiring by age 40 ! And from that point forward, with a sufficient reserve of savings and investments built up over the course of their exotic dancing career, a retired dancer can then choose whatever sort of future career she likes without concern for how much earnings potential it provides !

    The only real caveat to pursuing a career as a 'serious professional dancer' is exercising proper financial discipline and work ethic. Failure to do so can result in a situation we have all seen in dressing rooms ... dancers in their late 30's seeing their dancing earnings potential drop with each new 19 year old girl the club hires, with little or no money saved up, and with little or no education / skills to offer a 'straight job' employer. On the other hand, if proper work ethic is exercised to maximize earnings during a dancer's 'peak earnings potential' years, and if proper financial discipline is exercised in regard to saving and investing those earnings, by her late 30's that 'serious professional dancer' could easily be in a position to retire with > $ 1 million 'in the bank' ... which could essentially provide the equivalent of $40-50-60,000 income per year via interest / dividend / capital gains earnings for the rest of her life ! With that sort of 'passive' income at her disposal, a retired dancer can then afford to try her hand at starting a business, can accept an interesting and challenging 'straight job' without worrying about the pay rate, can return to college and begin a professional career, etc. Of course, she could also choose to hang out on a tropical beach and enjoy her retirement LOL !

    ~
    Last edited by Melonie; 04-07-2010 at 03:18 AM.

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