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Thread: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

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    Default Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    People who don't know the business tend to think that strippers=whores and will do anything for a price. For most everyone that's not true...as I once said to someone, you're much more likely to find a whore in a strip club than a church, but it still might not be that easy. Even in pure strippering though, there are many lines to draw.

    Whether to work bikini, topless or nude. Whether/when to get naked in a nude club. Whether to spread (legs or yourself). How much contact to allow in a contact club. Whether to do "extras" (anywhere from over-the-clothes groping to BJs to FS or anywhere in between).

    Everyone who works draws some of these lines, somewhere. A lot let club rules draw them for them. Others differ.

    Why do you draw the line where you do? Is it morality? Most people seem to cite "personal comfort" or "I'm not comfortable with that" when saying where their line is. What's that mean? Morality? Why are you more moral than the girl who let's someone touch her pussy, when you allow boob groping but not pussy touching? Where's the moral line there?

    Anyway, where's your line, and why do you draw it there?

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    I'm not comfortable having guys grab me. And I have never let a guy touch my tits, ass, or crotch. I don't really like them touching my stomach, either. Back, arms, and legs don't really bother me. And I let them touch my hair. I'm simply not comfortable with letting them do anything else, and even if it was the norm and okay at my club I still wouldn't let them do it.

    My club is barely topless (topless on stage only, never in the dances), so I haven't had the experience of dancing on a guy topless or naked. I honestly don't know how I would feel about it. It might not bother me, or it might bother the shit out of me. I don't know.

    I have pretty solid boundaries, and it would never really occur to me to let anyone cross them, for any amount of money. I set the boundaries according to my comfort levels. If I'm even slightly uncomfortable with something, it ain't happening.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    Because I want to. It's really that simple.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    why do you wear the clothes you wear?
    why do you have the friends you have?
    why do you eat the food you eat?
    why do you do the things you do?
    why do you listen to the music you listed to?

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    Well, for a start you'd need to clearly and objectively define what you mean by morality, before you bring that up.

    Personal comfort is nothing more complicated than that. I don't wear jeans that chafe because they're uncomfortable. I don't do LDs because they're uncomfortable. I don't strip further than pasties and a thong because it's uncomfortable and I don't like it.

    That doesn't mean people that like it are immoral to me - it just means they're okay with it, and I really don't care where their lines are.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    I'm speaking as an older retired dancer so things have changed. When I started, no contact air dance clubs were the norm. In most of these clubs they were very strict on what dancers could do and wear. We had to wear two pairs are thongs, and pantyhose in between. In most of these clubs you either kept your top on or stripped down to pasties. There were a few nude clubs then but they were also no contact. I chose the bikini/pasty clubs because I didn't feel comfortable going nude in the bars. Why? I don't know since I was doing nude modeling (mostly artistic) and nude bachelor parties. Years later the restrictions in various areas were lifted and they went to topless without pasties in certain areas. In one case the club was also a high contact club and worked there for a week when I found out that I wouldn't deal with touching of any sort. No extras, and never considered it. I am a high moral person who believes sex should be special. I also didn't want to be ashamed in years to come.


    As for touching, like I said I either worked in no touching whatsoever or clubs where they could touch your waist while doing a dance. I did bachelor parties too and the only touching I allowed was during the whipped cream shots. These were full of so much whipped cream that it was pretty much impossible to touch my nipple. In the event I was afraid of touch, I would wear pasties underneath. I've only allowed one customer ever to touch me, and he's the one I hope becomes my husband (in time). Even so, that didn't happen in the club, it happened in time.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    why do you wear the clothes you wear?
    why do you have the friends you have?
    why do you eat the food you eat?
    why do you do the things you do?
    why do you listen to the music you listed to?
    I could probably write a paper on each one of these, if you really wanted me to (I get the feeling you don't, you think you were asking rhetorical questions). Everything people do, they do for a reason.

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    Featured Member Stripper Hacks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    If I want to have sex with a guy trust me he'll know.

    If I don't want a guy to touch me trust me he'll know.

    Off limits are boobs, pussy and ass. I'm actually okay if a customer grabs my butt as long as he doesn't go over board.

    I also don't mind getting close as long as a customer doesn't get carried away.




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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    For the most part, my lines are drawn at 'can I get a disease or a cold or a virus or an infection? If yes, I'm not interested.'

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    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    ^ But in essence all those answers boil down to "because it's a mix of what I want and what I feel will benefit me, the ratio of which pleases me enough at that moment"
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    I find the OP offensive

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    I'm a customer of course but I can tell you that there is not much variation in what girls in the clubs in my town will do.

    They are mostly contact clubs in which the only rules are against touching between legs and mouth contact. Tits and ass are allowed. All stage shows and LDs are nude, though some may stay in g-string on stage if not tipped sufficiently. But there is no compunction other than that. Possibly some girls stay in a g-string on stage because of preference (I can't know, not having asked them) but that's rare to never in LDs. Recently (within the last year) there was a crack down on "extras" from the government, with some media coverage of the "scandals", and since then some clubs require customers not to go too far below the waist.

    When prostitution was illegal here (it is legal in registered brothels now), strippers could not show between their legs in stage shows or LDs. It was classed as prostitution and a finable offence. Since about the time brothels were made legal, strippers started openning their legs without covering up.

    Generally all strippers in all clubs allow all of what the rules allow. Some will not open their legs on stage or in LDs. I am only talking about my own limitted experience, so that may be just down to what the girl feels like doing at the time or with a particular customer. Or it may be because they don't want to go that far, perhaps in case word gets to people they know IRL or that kind of thing.

    I have never been offerred extras nor have I asked for them. I have rarely heard of strippers giving extras in clubs I go to. Controllers in LD rooms are more watchful since the media hype about extras and the clubs and strippers claim that it was blown out of proportion.

    There is little variation in what strippers do. They probably have to go with what customers expect from other strippers and since it is the norm and since also stripping is semi respectable here (i.e. it has crossed over into fashionable or popular culture) they probably don't fear social reprisals. Only one stripper has ever not allowed me to touch her tits. Most of them in LDs have openned their legs, usually only on the floor in front of me and one girl on my lap. A few have not. Actually, I don't prefer it - at least not as explicitly as they do it.

    It seems here to be generally a case of either the girl will strip or she won't, not how far individual girls will go. But strippers still vary in terms of what they are willing to justify to themselves for the money, how much they want or need the extra money, how they feel about the club they work in, their attitudes toward sexual matters, how extroverted they are, how inclined they are to show off their bodies etc. etc.
    Last edited by Hopper; 04-03-2010 at 04:19 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    I'mma let someone else take that one in a rational calm manner. Ladies, the floor is yours.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    Well, for a start you'd need to clearly and objectively define what you mean by morality, before you bring that up.
    He's asking strippers what their moral issues are.

    Personal comfort is nothing more complicated than that. I don't wear jeans that chafe because they're uncomfortable. I don't do LDs because they're uncomfortable. I don't strip further than pasties and a thong because it's uncomfortable and I don't like it.
    Clothes and stripping are two different kinds of uncomfortable.

    That doesn't mean people that like it are immoral to me - it just means they're okay with it, and I really don't care where their lines are.
    You don't have much choice in a strip club.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    ^ But in essence all those answers boil down to "because it's a mix of what I want and what I feel will benefit me, the ratio of which pleases me enough at that moment"
    What? LOL It boils down to all that?
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    I'mma let someone else take that one in a rational calm manner. Ladies, the floor is yours.
    I don't see why a sensitive, tolerant, open-minded, peace-loving, new age girl like yourself would not be capable of that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    risk/reward ratio

    is it something that could get me fired? is it something that could get me arrested if the guy is a cop (ftr, cops don't really have to say they are cops if you ask, and they can have sex with you and get high with you before arresting you if they want)? is it something that could give me a nasty disease? is it something that could get me physically hurt? how much extra money is being offered? how well monitored is the club/dance area? would doing this drag the club down and make it harder to make money in the long run? how appealing is the customer- is his breath clean, hands clean, clothes clean, good personality? will doing something effect my ability to make money after this customer?

    i'm not a very moral person (at least not in the frou frou sense. i am an ethical person), but the risk/reward ratio doesn't really make most extras very appealing.

    if a customer asks, i'll usually say 'but i'll get fired. you don't want me to get fired, do you?' or 'are you calling me a whore?' all shocked and surprised like, because the average customer isn't really interested in hearing about risk/reward ratios.

    oh, and i dance nude. high contact, though my current club only allows grinding in the champagne room, and i try to avoid it completely since it hurts. no touching my pussy, for so very many reasons. i have no moral qualms with nipple licking, but i do have an intense fear of some whackjob biting them off so i don't allow mouths near them. no hj, bj, anal, intercourse, because i'm a stripper, not a prostitute.

    tbh, anytime i've worked at lower-contact clubs, i've felt like a fish out of water. not much difference in money, though.

    custies will try to bargain on prices, and it's like, dude, our dances are already cheaper than at the club across the street where dances are all done in the open, and our 3-for-60 special is the same rate as a topless (pastie) airdance at a higher end club. if you want a bargain, buy some generic lotion, go home, and jerk off.
    Last edited by she sells sanctuary; 04-03-2010 at 08:04 AM.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    ^Where the fantasy stops and reality begins.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    Why does my best friend let her BF fuck her in the ass, and I don't let anyone fuck me in the ass? It's all personal choice. Every person has different reasons. Why am I personally not a whore?

    1) I think its unfair to the other girls in the club trying to follow the rules
    2) It's against the law to solicit from the club, if I wanted to do that I would just be an escort
    3) I'm married and my husband would not be cool with it
    4) I don't like people I don't know touching me
    5) I cannot be sexual with someone I do not find attractive because it makes me feel physically ill

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    I don't let customers grope me for the same reason that I won't eat chicken and dumplings. It's gross.

    If some chick that you found completely unattractive offered you $20 to fondle your balls for 3 minutes, would you let her do it? Would you be comfortable with it? Our vaginas do not automatically make us more tolerant of sexual touching by people that we are not sexually attracted to.
    - SW members get 10% off with code SWEB

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    I don't see why a sensitive, tolerant, open-minded, peace-loving, new age girl like yourself would not be capable of that.
    I don't see why you think I'm any of those things, either.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    incoming rant I think

    we all make decisions for ourselves

    if it affects no one else, big deal

    the problem is personal morality is being replaced by social morality which from here on out will be referred to as moronality

    no smoking in public, dont drink it is bad for you, dont use drugs

    if a big enough group complains about something it becomes illegal

    hell suicide is actually against the law in some places


    and I lost where I was going with that, maybe I will remember and edit later


    on topic I draw the line at playing barney songs, I dont care how attractive a dancer is I dont care what the extremely attractive dancer offers me I dont care how much a patron offers me I dont even care how attractive the patron is its just not going to happen

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    I think Sanctuary has made the real point to this. Even if the stripper has no moral or personal qualms about extras, and though we think extras might follow naturally in the erotic environment in a strip club, the reality is that the stripper doesn't know the customer and there are risks involved and business and legal considerations which stand in the way. The fantasy of strippers as being sexually accommodating is prohibited by the risks to the stripper and her considerations as a person and a businessman. The fantasy comes true only if the stripper decides it's safe to oblige and the money makes it worth her while and expects her dignity will survive intact. Or if she is careless or stupid.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    ^ just for the record, dealing with most customers who want extras is like pulling teeth. most of them are totally full of shit anyways. they just wan to waste your time. the guys who spend the most usually just want some pleasant company from a naked lady.

    most of these guys don't have a fantasy of strippers being sexually accomodating. they have money and like to make girls smile by giving them money. it's pretty simple stuff.

    the guys who want sexual accomodation are penny pinchers. and most know that they probably won't get anything in the club. or they expect to get sex from a hot young stripper for less money than they could get oral from a drug addicted street prostitute. they're all paranoid that you're lying or they want proof that you'll do something and they usually just chicken out and leave without getting even a dance, after groping you for however long they've been hustling you.

    ugh. so not even worth the effort. then on top of that, i'd have to deal with all the risks involved? oh fuck no.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: Why Draw the Line Where You Do?

    I just posted in another section I am very guarded and I guess I will attempt to explain it further.

    First off my boundaries then the explanation:

    If I do grind, I firmly adhere to the three second rule.
    The only touching I allow while giving a dance is legs, maybe my shoulders.
    If I am working at a nude club I do not spread my legs ( this is largely due to the fact that the club I worked at in Atlanta forbid it and that was my first experience with nude dancing).
    I do not allow any mouth contact on my body. I will kiss a customer on the cheek but they are not to kiss any part of my body.
    I don't dirty talk.

    These boundaries have only gotten more strict now that I'm getting married.

    It's hard for me to put into words but here my best shot. have any of you seen Requiem for a Dream? If you have, recall the scene where Miriam needs money and has to go on the date with her psychiatrist because he will pay her to have sex with him. He grabs her with such an urgency, her face is blank and empty. She ends up throwing up outside afterwards.

    I cried so badly during that scene because I could relate to her so well. Not because I have ever fucked for money, but that deep level of disgust, lack of attraction, general I don't want to be here but I have to. THAT is how breaking the above boundaries makes me feel. It also makes me feel cheap, like something to be bought and sold instead of a person.

    I will sell you sensational conversation (how I make most of my money) and entertainment for sure, but at the end of the day, the only person who gets to touch the merchandise is my husband.

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