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    Default bad friends

    Does anybody else feel really disappointed in their friends sometimes? I feel like this happens to me all the time... especially as far as them using me goes and I'm just getting very depressed over it. I'm also developing really bad trust issues and just negative feelings because of that and every little thing they do I feel like they're using me. A lot of my friendships have ended because I felt used (and it was definitely true) and I just feel like I need a good friend that I can trust and that is not just always looking out for their own good. Do any of you have experiences with that?

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    Default Re: bad friends

    How are they using you?

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    Default Re: bad friends

    it's always about the damn money.. I'm just a generous person and it takes me a while to really get pissed off about people just taking advantage. I was taught to always share and I also believe that as friends if one has less money than the other you should help out. But because of this, I always attract the cheap ppl that take advantage and don't say thanks or whatever. It always gets to the point where they really cross the line, and by then I've already started to be less generous. Somehow they always feel entitled... It's just really making me sad cause I hate that attitude in people and I would never use someone for anything..

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    Default Re: bad friends

    I know how you feel and I say dump them. I know it's hard to do but you will feel so much better if you get negative people out of your life. I flat out agonized over cutting one of them out of my life (posted about it on here too) but it was the best damn thing to do and I feel 1000x better now.

    You're better off having no friends than shitty friends who bring you down. Think about all the time you waste hanging out with these vultures and use that time to join a group or a gym and meet new, better people. It's scary but people like that will drain you over time.

    I read the book "Toxic People" by Lillian Glass and it really put it into perspective for me. My "friends" were really hurting me with their selfish words and actions.

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    Default Re: bad friends

    Been there, done that. I agree - dump them and find new friends.
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    Default Re: bad friends

    Its hard bc u end up alone when u get rid of all the user-friends. Then u r alone because uve thrown them all out and ur left all by urself. Developing hobbies, working out, going to school, etc helps but u still have to deal with the loneliness. Its hard bc dancing creates so many issues and aggrevates existing issues. This isnt an easy life.

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    Default Re: bad friends

    You're right guys! Thanks.. I guess I kinda knew that was what I was supposed to do but since this happens to me all the time I thought I can't just keep cutting people out of my life. But you're right, it's better having no friends than friends like that...

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    Default Re: bad friends

    Yes, cut them out and keep meeting new people with the idea of finding GOOD friends. Friends are an investment and you want to put your investment into people you can trust and who will be there for you (and you for them). You'll find them. I don't know if you take classes, but I've always had good luck meeting nice people there.

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    Default Re: bad friends

    'No' is among the shortest words in the English language, and one of the hardest to pronounce.

    I have been there, trust me. I've had roommates run off with money and my boyfriend's power tools, 2500 dollars worth. I've been scammed out of rent. My boyfriend and I have both overpaid rent because of a greedy roommate. She then spent it on clothes and alcohol and drugs and we're without power/water/whatever bill she lied about paying. I've had carless friends take me for a ride for no gas money. I've had friends that were me me me and I want I want I want, but when you're in trouble they disappear.

    The best thing is just to protect yourself. And I know this is going to sound bad coming from a dancer, but keep other dancers at an arms length. I have several great friends from this industry, but you need to know people very well before you let them into your life. This doesn't just apply to dancers, but people in general... dancers just make things more complicated because you have to see them at work everyday if you have a falling out.
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    Default Re: bad friends

    I feel you, Crystalize. I am still somewhat new (less than a year) to my city and have already made and had to "break up" w/ "friends". In the rat race that is life, it can be tough to find real, genuine people who are not only looking out for themselves. It sounds like you have just had more than your share of jerks lately!

    Don't be discouraged from making new friends, though; you're bound to find good people out there. Out of the friends that you have and can trust, do you think they could introduce to some people in their inner circles that you might be able to get to know. Then at least you'd have a reference!

    Good luck.

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    Default Re: bad friends

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Does anybody else feel really disappointed in their friends sometimes? I feel like this happens to me all the time... especially as far as them using me goes and I'm just getting very depressed over it. I'm also developing really bad trust issues and just negative feelings because of that and every little thing they do I feel like they're using me. A lot of my friendships have ended because I felt used (and it was definitely true) and I just feel like I need a good friend that I can trust and that is not just always looking out for their own good. Do any of you have experiences with that?
    There is being of help, and sharing, and then there is being taken advantage of.

    I come from a Christian background and like you said, I was also taught to consider those less well off than me and share what I had, be it money or just being a friend to be relied upon. However, there are those who will simply continously take advantage and abuse both your goodwill and friendship.

    You're not a Saint, you're human like the rest of us, and you don't have bottomless pockets or feelings either. I have to say stick up for yourself and drop these people. At the end of the day it will be they who lose, as other people will also begin to follow your example, and the 'I wants' will end up without any friends and without any means, as they are so used to getting it for nothing from other folks, as opposed to getting on with things themselves.

    You're not being heartless by doing this, just sensible.

    If they were true friends, then they would not be doing what they are doing, They would accept your help, yes, but true friends would not continue to abuse your friendship, and they would also be helping you out whenever they can return the favours.

    My Aunt, who is a Fount of Wisdom always used to say "Charity begins at home". That applied to money, and friendship.

    In this case you should not feel bad at all about following that maxim!
    Last edited by pussyinboots; 04-06-2010 at 11:51 AM.
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    Default Re: bad friends

    Quote Originally Posted by hello-kitty View Post
    I just went to cabo with my main guy, some of his guy friends, and this girl who I have been best friends with since 6th grade....She didn't have much money so she basically paid for her flight, while I paid for my flight, the rooms, drinks, foods, activities, basically everything!.... The last night of the trip I caught her fucking my guy in our room, she said she was going to use the bathroom, yeah right.... What a dumb bitch....Needless to say, we are no longer friends, NEVER trust women....

    Wow, I am so sorry, and I really feel for you cause that's the kind of things that keep happening to me... I am really relieved to hear that I am not alone, I thought I was some sort of a magnet for these kinds of people....

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    Default Re: bad friends

    WTF? Did she not think she was going to get caught or did she have that little concern for you?

    I'd make that bitch pay back everything you bought for her.
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    Default Re: bad friends

    Quote Originally Posted by hello-kitty View Post
    I just went to cabo with my main guy, some of his guy friends, and this girl who I have been best friends with since 6th grade....She didn't have much money so she basically paid for her flight, while I paid for my flight, the rooms, drinks, foods, activities, basically everything!.... The last night of the trip I caught her fucking my guy in our room, she said she was going to use the bathroom, yeah right.... What a dumb bitch....Needless to say, we are no longer friends, NEVER trust women....
    That is seriously fucked up. You know though, every woman I've known who would fuck her friends boyfriends or husbands has ended up having shitty relationships throughout life. Every. Single. One. They think nothing of hoping on somebody else's dude and then cry like little bitches when their boyfriend cheats on them. It's karma baby, pure karma. She'll get hers.

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    Default Re: bad friends

    ^Exactly. She'll probably be alone the rest of her life.
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    Default Re: bad friends

    Quote Originally Posted by hello-kitty View Post
    I just went to cabo with my main guy, some of his guy friends, and this girl who I have been best friends with since 6th grade....She didn't have much money so she basically paid for her flight, while I paid for my flight, the rooms, drinks, foods, activities, basically everything!.... The last night of the trip I caught her fucking my guy in our room, she said she was going to use the bathroom, yeah right.... What a dumb bitch....Needless to say, we are no longer friends, NEVER trust women....
    I'm done with having women as friends. I get along with guys much better anyway. The only time guys are sneaky is when they're trying to sleep with you, and even then they're pretty obvious. Girls always end up stabbing you in the back one way or the other.

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    Default Re: bad friends

    YES I HAVE BAD FRIENDS!!!!
    I also am quite generous. Im also very good at always being there for them, not breakin plans, calling them back, etc.
    I finally got burnt out and did not talk to ANY of my friends except one, for about a week.
    Most of them got the message after that! Oh and it sucks cause like I said I am a giving person but I completely stopped. If a friend says she cant come out cause she dont have $$, I say oh ok, the (name the bar) wont be the same without you.
    Im not tryin to be a bitch but Im done being a doormat.

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    Default Re: bad friends

    ^^oh and to add on to this, a friend of mine dated my abusive ex boyfriend. I dated him for 2 yrs (this was about 8 yrs ago) and about a year later she started dating him. Guess what? He abused her as well. She saw all the BS i went thru with this guy too.
    I still talk to her, but its never been the same since.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenn1981 View Post
    YES I HAVE BAD FRIENDS!!!!
    I also am quite generous. Im also very good at always being there for them, not breakin plans, calling them back, etc.
    I finally got burnt out and did not talk to ANY of my friends except one, for about a week.
    Most of them got the message after that! Oh and it sucks cause like I said I am a giving person but I completely stopped. If a friend says she cant come out cause she dont have $$, I say oh ok, the (name the bar) wont be the same without you.
    Im not tryin to be a bitch but Im done being a doormat.

    It's exactly the same as with me.. I used to be like "oh, don't worry, i got you" whenever a friend said that but I'm starting to wonder if some of my -friends- are around me just for that. It's not a good feeling, but I'm done with it. I still have a problem asking for money back when somebody borrows, but I just won't give them any anymore..

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    Default Re: bad friends

    Quote Originally Posted by hello-kitty View Post
    I just went to cabo with my main guy, some of his guy friends, and this girl who I have been best friends with since 6th grade....She didn't have much money so she basically paid for her flight, while I paid for my flight, the rooms, drinks, foods, activities, basically everything!.... The last night of the trip I caught her fucking my guy in our room, she said she was going to use the bathroom, yeah right.... What a dumb bitch....Needless to say, we are no longer friends, NEVER trust women....
    Ugh, I was in a similar situation once. I had a girl I'd known since high school come to town, and everything was fine until, right in front of me, she took off her clothes and asked my now ex-boyfriend to take pictures of her. The fucking loser did it, then said that I shouldn't have been mad at either of them because I'm the one who brought her around. Really, dude?
    I tried to remain somewhat okay with this chick, for some reason, but I really had to distance myself when I was talking proudly about how I'd been clean and sober for longer than I ever thought I could, and her only response was "Yeah, well, I've got your fix...I know a guy out here." I'd moved back out by my parents, and didn't know anyone with those connections.

    AND THEN (yes, there's more, and YES, I'm stupid), the last straw: When I told this chick I had gotten married and she straight up cursed my ass out. Apparently I'm stupid for being with a man who takes care of his family and wants nothing more than to see me happy? And here I am, thinking its stupid to be engaged to a guy for five years, who barely wants to acknowledge your relationship in public. Silly, silly me.

    She is a really successful girl and very beautiful, but she likes seeing others miserable, getting 100% of the male attention all the time, and when those two things aren't going down, she gets really jealous. I couldn't have that in my life anymore.



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    Default Re: bad friends

    When I stopped partying and taking drugs I lost like 90% of my friends, but then I realised they never were my friends in the first place. I have two good friends that I can rely on now and don't really bother with anyone else as I've been let down so many times before. Life's too short for fake friendships.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria669Jones View Post
    When I stopped partying and taking drugs I lost like 90% of my friends, but then I realised they never were my friends in the first place. I have two good friends that I can rely on now and don't really bother with anyone else as I've been let down so many times before. Life's too short for fake friendships.
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    Quote Originally Posted by prettysammie View Post
    I'm done with having women as friends. I get along with guys much better anyway. The only time guys are sneaky is when they're trying to sleep with you, and even then they're pretty obvious. Girls always end up stabbing you in the back one way or the other.
    story of my life. i distinctly remember telling a girl, "i'm so glad we're friends, i normally hate girls, they're so bitchy..." and then she turned out to be a dumb fucking bitch who stole from me. >.<
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    Default Re: bad friends

    Truer words have never been spoken, IMO.

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    Default Re: bad friends

    Yeah I had this one bitch I was friends with for a few months.
    She turned out to be an attention seeking fake bitch that leeches off me.
    I have a few guys I speak to... But they're really speaking to me cos they have crushes on me n stuff... That's annoying too knowing they're only talking to you cos they're interested.

    Where can you find true friendship these days?!

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