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Thread: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

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    Default Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    So heres the set up. My hubby went out of town yesterday for business. After the business meeting, him and 1 buddy go to the strip club. No problem with that, we talked about it earlier and he said he didn't want to go because money is really tight right now, and we don't have any 'extra' money right now. My hubby has been to SC's plenty of times before. He's probably had at least a 100 dances at this point. I figured he would probably go anyway, as he never gets a chance to go out anymore. Well he went and he got 1 dance with a girl, 2 with another, and I assumed 2-3 with another. We only spoke briefly when he came from the SC last night, and he tells me that the third girl gave the dirtiest dance he'd ever gotten. EVER. He tells me he thinks he *could have* done a lot more and he was shocked. He tells me he she spoke VERY dirty the whole time, like, "I wanna fuck you," "You like the way I fuck you don't you," "I want you to fucking cum," etc. He says at the beginning of the 1st dance she tells him to grab her ass. He says, "No thats okay," but she places his hands there and places them back when he takes them off. She also places his hands on her breast, kisses him (no tongue, but "wet" as he describes) grabs his cock with her hand, and talks about how she would *like it* if he took out his dick. She also gave him a hickey. He told me that she seemed 'nervous' about breast touching, as she would look around when putting his hands there. He tells me that she was grinding him so hard, it was as though she REALLY was trying to make him cum, even 'adjusting' his dick to grind harder, and telling him to fix it, when she could not.

    He tells me that none of the girls were great looking at this club, a couple 6 or 7's but nothing "hot" by any means. As a whole, the club was terrible as he says most girls were not attractive. We talk about it for a bit before bed and have a good chuckle about it. I sleep great, no problem.

    Today we are discussing it again. I'm like man that dance sounds pretty hot but its pretty bad that girls feel they have to break rules to make money, and how gross it is to want strangers to cum on you, yadda, yadda. So then he's like, "Well that club is right next to two truckstops, so she probably gets a bunch of fat, stinky truck drivers most of the time." I'm like ! If she does that with one customer she does it with EVERYBODY fucktard. He knows this!!!! Why is my hubby behaving like a 'typical' customer now??? Nevermind she did the exact SAME THING with his buddy before him, its because they are such studs, right . Now that annoyed me but then he says he spent $100 dollars on this girl (5 dances). This totally set me off for some reason, and now I'm pissed off and disgusted. He spent $20 on 1 girl, and $40 on another girl. Its very rare for my hubby to $100 on one girl. Even then its only if the girl was absolutely stunning. He probably only stopped because he thought he was going to cum in his pants, but he also admitted he was "dissappointed" that she just 'ran away' after they were done dancing and didn't sit down and chat a bit. If he wants a girl to sit down afterwards, he either wants more dances, or likes talking to the dancer. Being that this was the only girl he didn't talk much further than 'wannadance,' he clearly wanted more dances. Not only did he fall for SS, he blew money on a dirty extras bitch and now I feel he is not supporting me as a stripper.

    I feel silly, because he is a man, but I've come home crying because of what girls will do to earn a buck. He is not a usual 'ignorant' customer, and generally such a gentleman. To think he was participating in this (and would have continued!) disgusts me. To think he contributed to the problems in this industry disgusts me. I can't even look at him anymore. Its really stupid, but the fact that he got 5 dances from the 'dirty' girl and 2 from the other one he liked bothers me. He always tips, but I don't think I wanna know how much he tipped this girl. I guess I always thought my hubby would say, "No, you don't have to make me touch you for me to enjoy the dance." I am fucking delusional. I think it just saddens me because maybe this girl feels desperate for money, and he only reinforced that she NEEDS to do that to earn money. If the dance was just 'standard dirty' he would not have spent $100, and surely would not have wanted more. To spend $100, when we're broke right now also angers me.

    Please, somebody tell me I'm overreacting. Why the fuck did I put him on "holier than average SC douche" pedastal anyway. Sorry for rambling.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    IMO, he wants to see your reaction to it happening when he doesn't ask for the girl to do that.

    He COULD HAVE WALKED AWAY. He DID NOT.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    I'd be pissed too but men are men. My husband is a pretty great guy but if some stripper was grinding all over him and talking dirty, I'm reasonably sure that he would just go with it.

    My take is that strippers who act like that are broken and suffering from serious issues so I look at it as taking advantage of a child or drug addict. My husband's view is that they are adults and while they will have to face the legal consequences if caught, they should be allowed to abuse themselves however they want and for whatever reason.

    Rationally, I agree with my husband but emotionally it pisses me off to no end. He rarely goes to strip clubs (maybe once every two years) but if he went and behaved like that he wouldn't tell me about it which I think is better for both of us.

    I'm sorry you feel shitty about it. I can completely understand and we've had some pretty heated arguments in my home over these kind of topics that made me wonder if men were all just monstrous dirtbags deep down.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    ^^Thanks. I'm not all that bothered that he "went with it." I've told him that I would like him to always keep his hands to himself unless invited. I told him that most dancers just feel that they "NEED" to let guys touch. Sure I'm not bothered by some kinds of touching, but I'm sure just about every dancer would rather not be touched, than be touched. So while I do wish he insisted harder on not touching, she did make it painfully clear to touch her, so whatever. His touching is not what enrages me, the fact that he "supported" extras more so than "regular" dances enrages me. If he spent $100 on the prettier girl who gave a good dance minus the 'extras,' I wouldn't be angry. $100 is a tremendous amount on one girl when we are broke. The fact that he "supported" her, and not the girls giving 'clean' yet still good dances bothers me. He also would have continued to "support" her if she had not left him. He would have easily blew another $200, he even admitted it. Thats more money than he's spent on anyone, ever. Even when we had money to 'blow' ! We don't fight ever, he is truly my best friend who I trust completely. I am so hurt by this.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    well, if it was me, i'd be annoyed and disappointed that after all the crap my bf would've heard from me about the hustle he still fell for stripper shit, and was PLing w the best of them. Seriously, you're not a stud and you ain't special, and i'd be mad too, esp if he blew a bunch of money he wasn't suppose to
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    extras? If he did actual "extras", he wouldn't tell you about it. But he apparently didn't, so you should be happy.

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    IMHO, you're overreacting.

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Why was this posted in CC? This seems like a thread that should be over in the dancer only area. Curious.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    I would sooooo be getting that girl's stage name and calling her manager. Actually, no... I'd probably call the local police station and give them a report and suggest they send vice in to check her out.

    As for him, I'm actually with you. I've had boyfriends get dirty dances in front of me, but when there is any sort of bodily fluid exchanged (kissing) or petting of the privates... that straight out crosses the line. I'd tell him that you are really disappointed in him and that next time a girl does something like that you EXPECT him to walk out of the dance if he wants to continue being with you.

    Grrr - steams me!
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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by WestCoast101 View Post
    extras? If he did actual "extras", he wouldn't tell you about it. But he apparently didn't, so you should be happy.
    I believe that he would tell me. Booty grabbing is so norm I don't consider that an extra. Boob touching was also an extra there, and is still kinda an extra at my club.

    I guess I'm just disappointed that he fell for the SS. I'm pretty liberal about sex and my marriage, but I don't want him making out with, getting bj's/hj's in a damn strip club, from a STRANGER who probably gave countless other guys the same damn thing. The fact that he actually thought, even for a second, that his "hotness" was the reason why she got sooo dirty was absurd. I also left out that he rubbed her vagina. Yup. She placed his hand on her vag and he continued to give this girl money. She was wearing a thong but still. Never rubbed under the thong, but I don't have a lot of doubt that he would have stopped her if she pulled her thong over to the side and put his hand there. He admitted he felt bad about the vagina thing, but he still let her do it, and got dances after that. I don't want him to never go the strip club. I don't want to support girls that feel they need to completely whore themselves out and cut the other dancers throats. If you want to do that, be an escort not a dancer. He knows how I feel about this. I'm especially scared that if he ever encounters a "dancer" like this again, he will let these kinds of things happen. He obviously can delude himself so much to think that these girls actually fucking like him, and don't do that to EVERY fucking customer they get a dance with. I need to calm down. I am so disgusted with my hubby, I can't even let him touch me. Ew. I feel like a fool for thinking girls were silly when they got bent out shape for their guy going to a SC.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    I would sooooo be getting that girl's stage name and calling her manager. Actually, no... I'd probably call the local police station and give them a report and suggest they send vice in to check her out.

    As for him, I'm actually with you. I've had boyfriends get dirty dances in front of me, but when there is any sort of bodily fluid exchanged (kissing) or petting of the privates... that straight out crosses the line. I'd tell him that you are really disappointed in him and that next time a girl does something like that you EXPECT him to walk out of the dance if he wants to continue being with you.

    Grrr - steams me!
    I think mine crossed the line. I think he would have made out with her if she initiated it more. The kiss she gave him was brief and closed, I don't think he would have pushed her away if she stuck her tongue in his mouth. Since he deluded himself into thinking like every idiot, and that she actually "LIKED" him, gawd knows what he would have done. He actually said that since she seemed nervous about the vagina touching, that he didn't think she did it all the time. I'm like DUMBFUCK IF SHE WILL LET YOU DO IT THEN SHE WILL LET SOMEONE ELSE DO IT. He only spent $100, and when the vag rub happened, he had only spent $60. If she let him rub it for a measly $60, then she surely let EVERYBODY rub it for $80 and so on. I swear my hubby is a smart man so WTF was he thinking!!!?????
    Last edited by hot4ablackchick; 04-09-2010 at 01:33 AM.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    made me wonder if men were all just monstrous dirtbags deep down.
    I 100% believe they are.

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    I'd be really pissed off at this too and don't think you're over reacting at all. You know how men get when they're with their buddies though, that testosterone really seems to take over. Has he apologized for it? At least he didn't try and keep it from you though.

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    Veteran Member fast tan77's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    made me wonder if men were all just monstrous dirtbags deep down.
    All men have alittle dirtbag in them just like all women have alittle tramp in them. In the right situation things can get outa hand with anyone.

    And remember, men have 2 heads to think with but only enough blood to fuel one at a time.
    I can do better than you in a two bit fancy house

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    There is only so much resistance we can put up to something like that. I don't think that makes all of us dirtbags, its just that shit like that doesn't happen often and we have no idea how to deal with it. That doesn't mean you have no right to be upset but try to remember we don't spend all our time pushing away people trying to fuck us like you do.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    would i be mad if my SO touched a strippers vajayjay? especially after he knew my feelings on extras in the industry?

    Fuck yes i would. i would be beyond livid.

    also, does he expect you to not be an extras girl? because if he expects you to not be letting customers touch your lady bits, then he should have the courtesy to do the same.

    i hate hte girls that physically make customers touch them. admittedly when i went to a SC drunk as a customer last time, i found some cute little brunette who kept moving my hands to her tits and i admittedly enjoyed it, but its bad. and they are very persistant. if she moved my hands down below i would have walked out during the dance. and i would expect any dude i was dating to do the same.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Banned zeke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    All guys are jerks.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    would i be mad if my SO touched a strippers vajayjay? especially after he knew my feelings on extras in the industry?

    Fuck yes i would. i would be beyond livid.

    also, does he expect you to not be an extras girl? because if he expects you to not be letting customers touch your lady bits, then he should have the courtesy to do the same.

    i hate hte girls that physically make customers touch them. admittedly when i went to a SC drunk as a customer last time, i found some cute little brunette who kept moving my hands to her tits and i admittedly enjoyed it, but its bad. and they are very persistant. if she moved my hands down below i would have walked out during the dance. and i would expect any dude i was dating to do the same.
    Yup. He would pissed at me if I let a guy grab my breasts during a dance, and he would probably cry if I let someone touch my crotch. It wouldn't matter how brief the encounter was, or whether I wearing underwear. He would be livid. He would be super pissed if I was grabbing other dudes erections during dances. He certainly wouldn't want me leaving hickeys on guys. Yet not only did he do all those things, he still got dances AFTER she did those things. Even if he didn't want to get up and walk out because he was so shocked by it (and loved it), he didn't even have enough decency or respect for me to stop spending money on this girl. He would have continued to spend money if she would have come back over. He's admitted that. He wouldn't want his wife to do these things, but its okay for him to enjoy them and support other girls that do them. I know men aren't used to these things. I know its different because she insisted on the extras, but I am so disgusted with him right now.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick View Post
    Yup. He would pissed at me if I let a guy grab my breasts during a dance, and he would probably cry if I let someone touch my crotch. It wouldn't matter how brief the encounter was, or whether I wearing underwear. He would be livid. He would be super pissed if I was grabbing other dudes erections during dances. He certainly wouldn't want me leaving hickeys on guys. Yet not only did he do all those things, he still got dances AFTER she did those things. Even if he didn't want to get up and walk out because he was so shocked by it (and loved it), he didn't even have enough decency or respect for me to stop spending money on this girl. He would have continued to spend money if she would have come back over. He's admitted that. He wouldn't want his wife to do these things, but its okay for him to enjoy them and support other girls that do them. I know men aren't used to these things. I know its different because she insisted on the extras, but I am so disgusted with him right now.
    yea, im so sorry he did that. i am really upset on your behalf. He was totally in the wrong and hed better start kissing your ass and finding a way to make it up to you soon.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Veteran Member MissMynxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Someone on here made a comment that they might, in that situation, call the local police station and ask Vice to check her out along with speaking to a manager. I literally had to sit here for 20 minutes and calm down before I could post. That is the biggest crock of BULLSHIT I've ever heard. I don't even want to get into how horribly angry that made me. Seriously ... not cool.

    ANYWAY - I see that your hubby would never let you do things like that even if you wanted to (breast touching, etc.) but he chose to support a girl who did. That's his bad - he needs to apologize to you for that, and he needs to get his hypocrisy straightened out. I wouldn't be as disgusted and furious as you are - men will be men, like many people have said here. Kylea2 is right - let him know how FUCKED that is, and if it happens again, you expect him to walk out of the dance if he expects you to still be his wife.

    I'm a VERY high contact dancer, and frankly do a few things that some girls may consider extras. I'm no hooker (if I wanted to do that, I'd do it legally and not mess it up for other girls by giving head in VIP when they don't) and I go with what is the club norm and what I'm comfortable with. My fiance knows what kind of dancer I am, and how I give contact, etc - and we're cool with that. The hypocrisy is what would get to me.

    I think you're overreacting a touch, honestly. This is something that needs to be solved with communication, and if he's too immature to handle it and to hypocritical to understand why what he did is wrong - that's something you need to take into serious consideration.
    "The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    yea, im so sorry he did that. i am really upset on your behalf. He was totally in the wrong and hed better start kissing your ass and finding a way to make it up to you soon.
    Thanks so much Athena. It really does make me feel better. He is very sorry and is really kissing ass, but its really not helping so much. I still don't think he really "GETS" it. I don't know if its because he thinks that this girl really "liked" him and thats the only reason she did it. In his mind she did them because he was very nice and a "stud," NOT because she just wanted to drain his pockets and is a whore. Therefore it wasn't an "extra." She was so turned on by his studly manliness that rubbing her thonged vag would put her out of her horny misery by his mighty hand. Yeah, fucking stupid. Nevermind she gave his buddy the same dance (minus the vag rubbing, but his buddy only got 2 dances, she did this on the 3rd dance) and he doesn't even know this girl. Even if that were true and she did "like" him, there are just some things you don't do, or participate in while in a fucking SC. I expect more from him, ya know?

    We've been to very high mileage clubs where breast touching was the norm and you could see guys doing it in LD rooms. I've had a girl put my hands on her breasts, and try to put my hand on her vag, but I snatched my hand back really fast so I think she got the message. I did like grabbing her boobs, and felt ok with it since it was the norm there. I wouldn't touch a girls vag no matter how high mileage the club and surely wouldn't spend $$$ on a girl who insisted I do so. Where he went was NOT high mileage and he is sure that boob touching was not allowed, but he did it anyway. I don't care that she put his hands there. He supported a girl who threw all the other girls under the bus when he knows how I feel about this. If she would have unzipped his pants, he would have let her. I'm so sure about that. Thanks for listening.
    Last edited by hot4ablackchick; 04-09-2010 at 03:06 PM.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    I really don't know how I would react to your situ but I had something similar. Few months ago, I was at the SC with my boyfriend and this drunk dancer was all over him. Later I found out she gave him extras. She was cunty to me at the bar, but she was also falling all over the place.

    Some old SC friends came in and I was chatting with them for 20-30 mins while he got the dances. I might have been more upset..but the dumb bitch didn't even charge him, she sucked his dick for a minute and showed him her pussy for free.

    So, yeah, I didn't care, and my girlfriends were like, WTF, I'd be so pissed. But I guess I just don't let things like that take an emotional toll on me. However, if he has spent $100+ on her, I might be upset, because money is also really tight around here.

    I don't know what I'd do, and I see your position, but at least he was honest to you about what happened, and is trying to make up.

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Just out of curiosity, what do you think he got out of this? He knows your triggers, your together for a while, so he knows how to piss you off. You weren't bugged untill he brought it up again. What does he get out of this?
    How do you react when angry, with retribution? Would retribution bring home more bacon? Offensive. Yes. Is he getting more attention than normal now? Even sulky attention? He seems to enjoys fantacy, love him for who he is.

  29. #24
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by MissMynxx View Post
    Someone on here made a comment that they might, in that situation, call the local police station and ask Vice to check her out along with speaking to a manager. I literally had to sit here for 20 minutes and calm down before I could post. That is the biggest crock of BULLSHIT I've ever heard. I don't even want to get into how horribly angry that made me. Seriously ... not cool.

    ANYWAY - I see that your hubby would never let you do things like that even if you wanted to (breast touching, etc.) but he chose to support a girl who did. That's his bad - he needs to apologize to you for that, and he needs to get his hypocrisy straightened out. I wouldn't be as disgusted and furious as you are - men will be men, like many people have said here. Kylea2 is right - let him know how FUCKED that is, and if it happens again, you expect him to walk out of the dance if he expects you to still be his wife.

    I'm a VERY high contact dancer, and frankly do a few things that some girls may consider extras. I'm no hooker (if I wanted to do that, I'd do it legally and not mess it up for other girls by giving head in VIP when they don't) and I go with what is the club norm and what I'm comfortable with. My fiance knows what kind of dancer I am, and how I give contact, etc - and we're cool with that. The hypocrisy is what would get to me.

    I think you're overreacting a touch, honestly. This is something that needs to be solved with communication, and if he's too immature to handle it and to hypocritical to understand why what he did is wrong - that's something you need to take into serious consideration.
    I have also worked in high contact clubs and given higher contact dances. HOWEVER, vag rubbing, either over or under the thong, has NEVER been ok in ANY club that i have worked at. That is an extra pretty much everywhere.

    i agree with you that calling the police is a bad move. bringing LE attention to an otherwise clean strip club can end up hurting all of the clean dancers who work there . Talking to the manager is not out of line though IMO, although it will probably be ineffective... id hate to say it but if someone called complaining about their husband getting extras they would probably just sound like a disgruntled wife over the phone-- i doubt the manager would take notice.

    also i find the 'men will be men' argument ridiculous here. i have seen girls hitting on my dude and he has ignored them. This argument extends past SCs and into real life too, and if you use the 'men will be men' arguement, then that basically excuses any male cheating as well-- that is if the woman came on strong enough.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  30. #25
    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by MissMynxx View Post
    Someone on here made a comment that they might, in that situation, call the local police station and ask Vice to check her out along with speaking to a manager. I literally had to sit here for 20 minutes and calm down before I could post. That is the biggest crock of BULLSHIT I've ever heard. I don't even want to get into how horribly angry that made me. Seriously ... not cool.

    ANYWAY - I see that your hubby would never let you do things like that even if you wanted to (breast touching, etc.) but he chose to support a girl who did. That's his bad - he needs to apologize to you for that, and he needs to get his hypocrisy straightened out. I wouldn't be as disgusted and furious as you are - men will be men, like many people have said here. Kylea2 is right - let him know how FUCKED that is, and if it happens again, you expect him to walk out of the dance if he expects you to still be his wife.

    I'm a VERY high contact dancer, and frankly do a few things that some girls may consider extras. I'm no hooker (if I wanted to do that, I'd do it legally and not mess it up for other girls by giving head in VIP when they don't) and I go with what is the club norm and what I'm comfortable with. My fiance knows what kind of dancer I am, and how I give contact, etc - and we're cool with that. The hypocrisy is what would get to me.

    I think you're overreacting a touch, honestly. This is something that needs to be solved with communication, and if he's too immature to handle it and to hypocritical to understand why what he did is wrong - that's something you need to take into serious consideration.
    I wouldn't call the police on her myself, but I surely wouldn't lose a wink of sleep if someone else did. If you are a dancer and you not only do extras, but INSIST on them, I could give 2 fucks what happens to you. She isn't working in a level playing field. She isn't even charging extra for the extra, which is was what pissed me off the most about extra girls. She isn't even attempting to level the playing field at all because she started the extras on the first song during a regular damn dance. She didn't say, "I'll get dirty with you if you give me a $20 tip." Fuck, thats the very least you could do even though its still terrible. At least charge more for your fucking dances and extras if you really want to do that.

    Now I work high mileage too. Boob touching is frowned upon by mgmt at my club, but more than half of all the girls allow it. If a bouncer sees it, they will tell the guys not to do it though, but girls aren't reprimaned in any way. Grinding, ass grabbing, touching in general is very norm where I'm at. Its not the acts themselves that disgust me, other than the vag rubbing. I don't find tit grabbing or even cock rubbing with your hand as a big deal if thats club norm. Its a "dirtier" dance than I'm comfortable with, but I have no problem with girls that do. I grind and don't think girls who don't are any better than me. There is still one girl at my club who does not grind ever. Do what feels comfortable and what club norm is like you said. Except for obvious extras like sex, bj's, finger banging, etc.

    I'm pretty liberal about sex and not a jealous person. If my hubby wants to fuck someone else, I think its hot. I want an open marriage, he does not and I'm fine with that and can respect that. He couldn't handle that and has more traditional views. He doesn't like for other guys to touch me so I discourage it, and never allow boob touching. But he can't have his cake and eat it too. If he expects me to be monogomous, he better do the same fucking thing. If he gets a dance with a girl that insists he touch her vag/breasts, especially when it is an extra, not club norm, I expect him to stop getting dances. I also agree with Athena that vag touching is always an extra in my book and should NEVER be participated in. Even over a thong, I have never heard of this being ok. If he can't "handle" me doing it, he better control himself when it does happen to him. The fact that he didn't, and would have gone back for more, shows how he truly feels in my book. I feel like I should do whatever the fuck I want when I am at work. Fuck his feelings, he surely didn't care about mine. Thats why I still don't want him to fuck other women. I know I would feel resentful because I could never fuck another guy. I feel resentful, hurt, and fuckin disgusted now.
    Last edited by hot4ablackchick; 04-09-2010 at 02:52 PM.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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