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Thread: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

  1. #51
    God/dess Golden_Rule's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by sunshine16 View Post
    So you're telling her to lower her standards or she'll never have a good relationship? That's freggin bullshit.
    It would be, if that were what I was saying.

    What I said was is that if you place people into extraordinary circumstances you are not likely to get extraordinary responses, but ordinary ones. This is because most people are not extraordinary. They're just folks and they will respond the way the majority of folks do under similar circumstances. We, as a species, are nothing if not predictable.


    He's not a custie he's her HUSBAND for gods sakes. Which means he's supposed to support and respect her no matter what- good guys RESIST TEMPTATION (not saying hes not a good guy..and yes people make mistakes) but there are true MEN that don't do that to women. If you think otherwise, society has brainwashed you too.
    It's not men. It's not women. It's people.

    You've never made a "misstep" while dancing? Never went further than you usually go. Never did something you don't usually do [like keep someone's money that fell out of their pocket during a dance].

    Put ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances for a prolonged period [and by ordinary I mean individuals with no specialized training or experience that has prepared them for the extraordinary circumstances they find themselves in] and you are going to find the majority eventually bend, if not break, to accommodate the stresses that occur.

    Again, its not everyone but the majority as human nature is just that, natural.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    your are right, im not. i dont do long term relationships unless i really like and trust the person, which is rare. Im not looking for "many long term relationships". that is silliness and often a sign of codependency.




    yea i felt up the dancer who moved my hands there, but titties and vajayjay groping are two totally seperate ball parks. vajayjay groping is an extra everywerhe in the industry, tittie groping is more lenient.

    and if i was dating a girl who was very against extras, i would respect that. at this point i know where my weaknesses are and the good and bad i am capable of doing. ive done a lot of bad, but i also can be surprisingly loyal. the night of the tittie groping i had no commitment to anyone except myself.



    agreed. if i was in a commited relationship where that wouldnt have been acceptable i would have avoided going to the titty bar when hammered and horny.

    not that im saying people in commited relationships should avoid hte titty bars. please, by all means, come out. Your disaster marriages paid for my college tuition, and i expect it to pay for lots of good things in the future .


    And my post wasnt an all men are jerks post. I like men, most of my friends are men. But for me the thing that would really bother me is the thing that really bothered the OP. if i date someone, they know that extras in the industry are one of the things that i am most strongly against period. My current SO knows that extras sscare the fuck out of me because i feel like an industry which i love is not going to survive another decade. and if the SO went to a club and got extras, then i would be devastated.

    those of us in monogomous relationships expect our SOs to not cheat. do you think this is an unreasonable expectation? I dont . I have enough faith in people to assume they can keep their dick in their pants. Rubbing another girls pussy while financially supporting business practices that damage my industry is a similar betrayal to cheating IMO. Maybe its not the traditional cheating, where he is in bed with another women... but then again, im a stripper. im not in a traditional situation. A betrayal of my industry as well as the betrayal of having rubbing another girls pussy is doubly bad in my book.
    Quote Originally Posted by Golden_Rule View Post
    It would be, if that were what I was saying.

    What I said was is that if you place people into extraordinary circumstances you are not likely to get extraordinary responses, but ordinary ones. This is because most people are not extraordinary. They're just folks and they will respond the way the majority of folks do under similar circumstances. We, as a species, are nothing if not predictable.




    It's not men. It's not women. It's people.

    You've never made a "misstep" while dancing? Never went further than you usually go. Never did something you don't usually do [like keep someone's money that fell out of their pocket during a dance].

    Put ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances for a prolonged period [and by ordinary I mean individuals with no specialized training or experience that has prepared them for the extraordinary circumstances they find themselves in] and you are going to find the majority eventually bend, if not break, to accommodate the stresses that occur.

    Again, its not everyone but the majority as human nature is just that, natural.

    Oh, I certainly agree that all people suck equally regardless of race gender or anything else. People suck, I get it. However, when you choose a life partner, you expect that even in circumstances like this, or anywhere he would resist temptation because he loves his wife. Some men DO respect women- most don't.

    And NO I've NEVER done anything more than I'm comfortable with and would NEVER steal from a custie, especially if money just fell on the floor, thats not my money why the hell would I take it- its called stealing.

    And human nature tells us to be compassionate loving and respectful-most people have lost sight of that, but THAT is what separates us from wild animals.

  3. #53
    God/dess Golden_Rule's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    those of us in monogomous relationships expect our SOs to not cheat. do you think this is an unreasonable expectation?
    No, it is not the expectation of monogamy that is unreasonable. It is the expectation that monogamy has a long term chance in the face of an environment where temptation is literally a constant.

    Hell, I know dancers who make it a speciality of theirs to break down other dancer's boyfriends just to prove to themselves they can. I don't know why. Some kind of power trip I suppose.

    The thing of it is, as I was trying to make clear, is that the vast majority of us are ordinary people. The strip-club is an extraordinary environment. If you get it in dribs and drabs it can be dealt with but a couple where the guy goes to clubs and the woman dances in them [or the other way round] is immersing itself in that extraordinary environment.

    That odds that bad things are going to happen becomes statistically much higher than normal.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

  4. #54
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by sunshine16 View Post
    People suck, I get it.
    Not exactly.

    Its not that they suck, its just that they are people.

    I've said this before in a few different ways but the basic deal is that if you expect people not to be people then you are going to walk away disappointed.

    On the other end of the messy stick is the notion that it is especially important if you want people to judge you by the same yardstick. That you are just a person. You strive for perfection but you are going to fall short.. None of us are perfect.

    So you do your best. All you can do is communicate effectively what your expectations are to the people you care about, and hopefully care about you. Then you try to be FAIR in how you go about judging. You take not only the act but the environment the act took place into consideration. If it is an environment that you participate in yourself, and have done things you wouldn't exactly call attention to as examples of you at your best, you take that into consideration.

    The totality of the circumstances should count, not just some specific action but the where, when, how, and the why of it.

    Anyway, I'm currently failing at trying not to make this convo too deep. Deep doesn't work well around here and frequently gets folks mad at me so I think I've taken this far enough for now.

    wishing well...
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Veteran Member chris91's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by Golden_Rule View Post

    In the situation described you have two people who have placed themselves in extraordinary circumstances. A stripper and a custie living together. If you expect ordinary responses in extraordinary circumstances your expectations are probably too high and you're setting yourself up for failure.
    I don't think this situation qualifies as extraordinary for them. It may seem unusual to you, but it's their life.

    The dance may have been extraordinary, but he should be better equipped to handle it than most men. He dates a stripper who has talked to him about extras and how she dislikes dirty dancers.
    - SW members get 10% off with code SWEB

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick View Post
    He is very sorry and is really kissing ass, but its really not helping so much. I still don't think he really "GETS" it. I don't know if its because he thinks that this girl really "liked" him and thats the only reason she did it. In his mind she did them because he was very nice and a "stud," NOT because she just wanted to drain his pockets and is a whore. Therefore it wasn't an "extra." She was so turned on by his studly manliness that rubbing her thonged vag would put her out of her horny misery by his mighty hand.

    All due respect, but I think that there is some over-analysis here. The issue is simple - a sexy strange girl (who I am sure smelled nice too) did some things that turned him on and the head that she was rubbing took charge.

    I really doubt that he fell for SS as much as what she was doing to the part that was leading the charge. Hell, I would even guess that he was not quite the reluctant recruit that he portrayed in his story.

    I know that you believe that your stories about your time in the trenches should make him world wise and immune to the charms of a bad girl stripper, looking at the extras girls with disdain, but he is still a man and she did her job - turned him on and then took him down. His member got hard and his brain got soft.

    Would have been better if he was not in the situation to begin with.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by WestCoast101 View Post
    The question was asked in customer conversation point blank "am I delusional"? and you've provided an honest answer.

    Note the OP even calls the dancer a "dirty extras bitch" and a '"whore" simply for one momentary kiss , dirty talk, and some breast and some contact on her lap, and she wasn't even totally nude. In high contact clubs, that actually is garden variety. Many girls talk all sorts of crazy things in lap dances, it doesn't always mean the want you to do them.

    More absurd is the OP herself admitting she has long been requesting her husband accept an opern marriage so he can "fuck" other women and she can do what she wants, but he doesn't want that, and the reason why is the same reason he told her exactly what happened, because its a good marriage he doesn't want to screw up. I don't get the big complaint here.
    If a girl is telling a customer that he can pull his dick out, then she is a whore. If a girl is telling a customer to finger fuck her then she is a whore. If you not only let, but ENCOURAGE customers to touch your vagina (whether clothed or not) then you are a WHORE!!!! That is what she did. Now my hubby didn't pull out his dick so he doesn't know what she would have actually done with it, but that is clearly not "just dancing" anymore. She told him he could take his dick out and finger fuck her during their last song and he is sure she was dead serious. She had spoke of these things in the beginning, but he said he was not too sure if she was actually serious or just talking really dirty. I find dirty talk to be hawt as all get out. I can't do it (not even in "real life") but telling customers how good their cock feels or how much you want to fuck them, hardly makes any dancer a whore. This girl went a helluva lot further than that. He suspects she may have just grinded on it bare or gave an HJ, but who really knows. If your main objective is to try to get guys to cum in their pants during a dance, then well you are selling yourself short and that is just stupid as well as disgusting. That is not just dancing. I did not call her a whore just because of some dirty talk and heavy grinding. Just because a girl gives a different style of a dance does not make her a whore.

    If you are doing/encourgaing guys to do these things, then I have no respect for you as a dancer and you are a fucking bitch. Even if boob touching is not the norm, I have been in the business a very long time, so while I definetely feel that is wrong if goes against club norm/rules, it is hardly going to get my panties in a bunch. Boobs and vaginas are two totally different things, and boobs rate very low on my scale of extras. I don't have any problems with women who choose to provide these sorts of services, but it should not be done in a SC, and they should not be strippers. I don't see how my thinking that is "absurd." What is so absurd that I feel that there are just things you don't do or participate in while you are in a strip club?? I would still be pissed if we had an open marriage, you do not do these things in a strip club. If we had an open marriage I wouldn't give a hot guy any sort of extras just because I would fuck him in "real life." Open marriages still have rules and is not just "anything goes." You still have to maintain respect for personal boundaries. When he is a PAYING CUSTOMER I expect him not to engage in certain things as well. I would still conduct myself in a respectful way, I expect him to do the same, no matter what the status is in our relationship. Getting extras when he knows how I feel about extras is very disrespectful in my book. Vagina touching is an extra no matter how you try to sugarcoat it, and I don't like the fact that he has a hickey, as any exchange/leaving of body fluids is a no go for me while in a SC. I don't think I'm asking for anything extraordinary here.
    Last edited by hot4ablackchick; 04-13-2010 at 04:59 AM.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    Hmmm a tough one.

    Firstly I am not surprised. I consider my husband to be a lovely man and a gentleman as well, but I know full well what happens when sex is dangled in front of his nose. I imagine excitement similar to when a customer spends $1K+ on us. He's thinking "too easy".

    Yes we all know that strippers put on a huge act and he was not "special", but we should know some of us are very good at making people believe otherwise. A good example is I took one of my female friends to a SC. She was convinced that the stripper wanted her despite the fact that she handed the stripper $100 just on a stage tip... even after I explained the stripper is straight, married and not really interested, she still didn't believe me. Actions speak louder than words. A chick grinding your crotch and telling you how amazing you are would be hard to ignore even if you've heard all the stories 1000x.

    Spending the money that you don't have. Yes is frustrating, but have you never ever splurged on something your husband didn't understand? $100 may feel like a punch in the gut when money is tight, but it is really only money. Now if he started a SC addiction where he was spending that money constantly then yes, be angry. A one off though? Almost every time I go out to a bar I always spend more than budgeted. That's what happens when you are drunk and having fun. If he rarely goes out, I would forget about the money. Pick your battles.

    The one part where he angers me though is that he thought it was OK to do those things. He didn't think that they might upset you since he told you openly. If he knew you, he would know that you would be upset and either not tell you, or not do it. Obviously the second option is preferred, but he did do it.

    I think our husbands/bfs sometimes don't get that we don't get the same enjoyment from a LD as the customer does. I know my husband gets it because he's seen the tears and I pretty much tell him everything about work. But my BF's husband seriously thinks we just have the best job and her and I get turned on and love the guys and it's really not fair that my husband and him are stuck at home while we are off having all this "fun" LOL. He probably just thought...well this is what you do for work; therefore he is entitled to participate. The fact he choose a dirty dancer is just being normal I believe. When I go to a SC I certainly do not choose the hottest dancer or the most boring dancer. I choose who I think will give the best show. Unfortunately that dirty girl gave the best show.

    You are entitled to your feelings and to let him know what they are, but honestly since it is a one-off and you never fight, I wouldn't dwell on it too long. Sometimes you just have to let things go. How important is this one night really in the grand scheme of your entire life? Is some skanky stripper really worth so much drama?
    Thank you for your input. I was hoping you would contribute your opinion to this thread because I know you have a pretty open relationship.

    He told me openly because he is a very honest person, and I don't think he thought I would get mad. I'll admit that whenever he got a "dirty" dance I always find it to be very hot, and I don't hesistate to tell him so. Of course he has never touched a strippers vag before, or had a girl who made it clear that he could pull out his dick, engage in extras etc. I think he thought I would get really horny if he told me he touched a strippers vag. In his mind she gave him the 'extra,' because he was a nice, cute guy. Somewhere the lines got blurred but this is unacceptable for me. No matter what happens in the future, I expect him to never repeat this behavior, and if he does I'm prepared to walk. He totally gets and understands where I am coming from now and understands that he crossed the line.

    Yes I am still hurt and still a bit peeved by what happened, but I have forgiven him and I realize that he made a mistake and is not perfect. I know that strippers can be very convincing and that can lead to things going too far. I still don't honestly know how I feel about him returning to strip clubs now, but I think that he is really sorry for what he did and knows how much he hurt me. I love my hubby very much, and he means so much to me. He is my best friend and we have an awesome time together no matter what we are doing. We have never had any real problems before, so I will not let this skanky stripper ruin what I have.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    God/dess Golden_Rule's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by chris91 View Post
    I don't think this situation qualifies as extraordinary for them. It may seem unusual to you, but it's their life.
    That isn't what "extraordinary" means. It is extraordinary to the norm, as it is unusual or unique in its makeup as compared to most relationships. It therefore is likely to have additional stressors that more conventional relationships don't bump into.

    The dance may have been extraordinary, but he should be better equipped to handle it than most men. He dates a stripper who has talked to him about extras and how she dislikes dirty dancers.
    I wouldn't be to quick to presume that dating a stripper is in any way adequate training to defeat or disable well crafted or aggressive sexual behavior by an attractive woman being thrown the way of the average man.

    Explain how the simple dating of someone in the industry trains someone to be more resistant than average? Being aware that someone's expectations are that you do not participate in extras isn't specific to dating dancers. Most women would likely prefer that someone they are dating or care about didn't partake in sexual behavior with other women.

    I don't think simply dating a dancer is likely to improve a man's ability to stand up to a regular onslaught of aggressive female acting out.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    "dates" a stripper? They are married, unless the word "Hubby" has a new meaning.

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Honestly, I would be super pissed about the money spend on strippers when money is tight. You said this in your first post. I know, I am a stripper, but i think spending money on strippers is irresponsible unless it makes no difference financially.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick View Post
    Thank you for your input. I was hoping you would contribute your opinion to this thread because I know you have a pretty open relationship.

    He told me openly because he is a very honest person, and I don't think he thought I would get mad. I'll admit that whenever he got a "dirty" dance I always find it to be very hot, and I don't hesistate to tell him so. Of course he has never touched a strippers vag before, or had a girl who made it clear that he could pull out his dick, engage in extras etc. I think he thought I would get really horny if he told me he touched a strippers vag. In his mind she gave him the 'extra,' because he was a nice, cute guy. Somewhere the lines got blurred but this is unacceptable for me. No matter what happens in the future, I expect him to never repeat this behavior, and if he does I'm prepared to walk. He totally gets and understands where I am coming from now and understands that he crossed the line.

    Yes I am still hurt and still a bit peeved by what happened, but I have forgiven him and I realize that he made a mistake and is not perfect. I know that strippers can be very convincing and that can lead to things going too far. I still don't honestly know how I feel about him returning to strip clubs now, but I think that he is really sorry for what he did and knows how much he hurt me. I love my hubby very much, and he means so much to me. He is my best friend and we have an awesome time together no matter what we are doing. We have never had any real problems before, so I will not let this skanky stripper ruin what I have.
    Sounds like its all worked out.

    I think he obviously didn't realize how much it would hurt you. Guys are so "aloof" sometimes. I think he will stay away from strippers for a while. He has a hot one at home anyway. You guys never have problems? We don't usually fight very often either... but guess what? You're still a little hurt... hmmmm a little more cool down time and it is time for makeup sex wooo hoo!

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    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    And btw, I love how the custies turn it into we hate all men. If we really thought all men were scumbag jerks we wouldn't think what dude did was wrong. We know that there are men out there that crazily enough can resist extras skanks.
    Glad things are better It obvi wasn't divorce worthy but like he needed a serious check.

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Marvel Girl stated this right at the outset of the thread:

    "... made me wonder if men were all just monstrous dirtbags deep down."

    LOL, now why would anyone think much of this is really just an excuse to bash men"

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    Featured Member laurcon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by WestCoast101 View Post
    Marvel Girl stated this right at the outset of the thread:

    "... made me wonder if men were all just monstrous dirtbags deep down."

    LOL, now why would anyone think much of this is really just an excuse to bash men"
    Well she was WONDERING if that was the case in light of said events. You think you have a really amazing man and they turn out to be a willing participant in something that disgusts you. Would make a person question the existence of good men. Reading the posts of the "men" on this board will also make a person question such things. Hopefully, most of us go out in the real world and find someone who can control themselves in a strip club and also don't run home to join a forum to talk to strippers on our down time. And our faith in men is restored. Nice how it works like that.

    Not saying Customer Conversation doesn't serve a purpose for some girls perhaps, but the whole thing makes me laugh hard

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    IMO, he wants to see your reaction to it happening when he doesn't ask for the girl to do that.

    He COULD HAVE WALKED AWAY. He DID NOT.
    That shit would NOT fly in my household. Oh I would freak the fuck out so hard. It is his responsibility to tell the girl to stop.

    Why the fuck would you tell your wife that?

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    I think we all know that 95% of men (and women) want more bang for their buck. It's these extras girls who make our job harder and makes our money less every night. It totally sucks that your hubby did this. I would never let my bf go to a SC. In fact he doesn't ever want to step foot into one again after the shit he hears me going through at work. It has changed his perspective. I can't believe your hubby supported some skank like that wwow i was amazed when i read the story

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    ^^ I don't see anything wrong with going to one, just don't cross the boundaries of the relationship.

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by laurcon View Post
    Well she was WONDERING if that was the case in light of said events. You think you have a really amazing man and they turn out to be a willing participant in something that disgusts you. Would make a person question the existence of good men. Reading the posts of the "men" on this board will also make a person question such things. Hopefully, most of us go out in the real world and find someone who can control themselves in a strip club and also don't run home to join a forum to talk to strippers on our down time. And our faith in men is restored. Nice how it works like that.

    Not saying Customer Conversation doesn't serve a purpose for some girls perhaps, but the whole thing makes me laugh hard
    You do realize that the human natures being judged in your statement can be completely and honestly turned about by simply exchanging "women" for "men" and the gender of the pronouns.

    There is nothing universal here that applies strictly to the men present.



    Case in point: Well he was WONDERING if that was the case in light of said events. You think you have a really amazing woman and they turn out to be a willing participant in something that disgusts you. Would make a person question the existence of good women. Reading the posts of the "women" on this board will also make a person question such things. Hopefully, most of us go out in the real world and find someone who can control themselves in a strip club and also don't run home to join a forum to talk to strippers on our down time. And our faith in women is restored. Nice how it works like that.

    See what I'm getting at?

    Careful how you judge others least the same yardstick be used to measure you.

    Just saying...
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    ^^ Anyone else notice it's the same argument over and over, regardless of the topic?

    Plus you are missing the point. The OP said she felt upset because the personal boundaries of her relationship were crossed, and she felt betrayed by her husband. Hence why laurcon would say something along the lines of "you think you have a nice man, and then..". It's totally contextual You bet your ass if my husband actually got lap dances, and he did not stop the girl if she was crossing the boundaries that WE have set for OUR marriage, I'd freak the fuck out. I would be tempted to say something like "I thought I had a good one, and then he pulls a stunt like this.". Because in the situation, that IS pulling a stunt.

    You talk about judging and all that noise, but you miss the context more often than not.
    Last edited by mediocrity; 04-23-2010 at 02:03 PM. Reason: tirade

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    GR, the OP was looking for some support. This is not the time for your bullshit analysis of human behaviour.
    - SW members get 10% off with code SWEB

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    At least one dancer is admitting the obvious

    WiseGuy was correct,.. the original question didn't want an answer, it wanted "female validation"

    As for why it was posted in customer conversation, who knows.

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    ^^ Anyone else notice it's the same argument over and over, regardless of the topic?
    It's because I keep seeing the same fault [and it is a fault, sorry] over and over.

    Maybe its a generational thing. Maybe it's just me.

    I saw this today: http://www.kmov.com/news/national/Ma...-92055309.html

    Horrible bit of business. Reminds me of the Kitty Genovese thing from years ago. We don't treat each other very well. Strip-clubs are an example of a lot of that, right up in your face. On all sides of it; customers, management, dancers alike. You take something as pretty as the human form and as natural as sexuality and find a way to make it work to others disadvantage. Dancers judging other dancers and sweat-pants boner men. Customers wanting from dancers but objectifying and taking advantage when they get what they want, getting pissy when they don't.

    Its like religion. It could be a naturally lovely bit of business but the ugly in it just takes too much of it away most times. {LOL}

    Plus you are missing the point. The OP said she felt upset because the personal boundaries of her relationship were crossed, and she felt betrayed by her husband. Hence why laurcon would say something along the lines of "you think you have a nice man, and then..". It's totally contextual You bet your ass if my husband actually got lap dances, and he did not stop the girl if she was crossing the boundaries that WE have set for OUR marriage, I'd freak the fuck out. I would be tempted to say something like "I thought I had a good one, and then he pulls a stunt like this.". Because in the situation, that IS pulling a stunt.
    Granted. My point though was coming at the situation from what I observed as a swinger, and even more so as one who ran support groups for swingers, who saw a similar line of logic used in swinging couples relationships and watched many of them go astray because logic of this type is fuzzy. It runs afoul of natural human faults that don't stand up well to constant temptation. If you truly want your man never to slip up and go too far with a "dirty" dancer than best to keep him out of the strip-clubs altogether. It is simply too unlikely that the human male animal is going to resist time after time after time. Especially if he has a rational regarding his mate who is a dancer herself.

    Use to be that you could say a bit differently for women, but stats suggest that women have become the social equals of men in almost all forms [except pay, unfortunately - but I hope that will be corrected someday]. You've taken on most of our bad habits in the process.

    Do you have any idea about the number of swinging couples who had rules and let their S.O. run about thinking they would abide by them and wind up breaking up because those rules were violated to some degree?

    How many. "We'll only swing as a couple.", where either the guy or the gal winds up, after being involved in the lifestyle for an extended period, slipping up and going it solo. Maybe only once, but is one time breaking a rule still breaking the rule? Most people would think it is.

    Folks are folks. Its unwise to presume they won't be. No one is perfect.

    You talk about judging and all that noise, but you miss the context more often than not.
    You pardon me if I feel, and I will acknowledge that it may be wrong but I feel it just the same, that it is a function more of some folks around here misunderstanding me than it is that I miss the context as much as you think I do.

    As always, wishing well...
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by chris91 View Post
    GR, the OP was looking for some support. This is not the time for your bullshit analysis of human behaviour.
    Could very well be, but CC isn't the place for it then.

    And as to how much BS my analysis of human behavior is ... I find the proof is in how well it serves one. Mine has carried me fairly far so I'll stick with it for the time being. I don't claim anyone else has to practice it. I put it out there because I find it works for me and maybe, only maybe mind you, it might give pause for others to think. Even if what they come up with is, "GR, you are full of shit.", thinking is never a bad thing so... it still serves a purpose in an open forum where folks come to share a notion or two- even if that purpose is simply to unify people around what a dip shit they think I am. {LOL}
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Default Re: Should I be angry? Or am I just delusional now?

    Quote Originally Posted by WestCoast101 View Post
    At least one dancer is admitting the obvious

    WiseGuy was correct,.. the original question didn't want an answer, it wanted "female validation"

    As for why it was posted in customer conversation, who knows.
    This has nothing to do with being female or male. It only has to do with being a human being or a self-centered ass.

    And who knows why any dancer would post anything in customer conversation when its so clearly pointless. I guess the OP thought maybe there were still some good men out there that would support her as well, and not just assume that because she's a dancer and her husband was getting a lap "dance" its no big deal, but sadly, there aren't.

    The only reason you customers think its totally okay is because you like doing that shit yourself. Which once again, is fine for PLs. Dumb bitches need to make money too right? What would they do with you pathetic losers? Difference is this is a girl's husband, so she has a right to be upset with him doing things with a dancer that she, as a dancer, is not allowed to do with a customer. Even if he's soooo hot and she can't help herself, she just needs to have him touch her vagina and kiss him on the mouth!

    So I have GR on ignore thank god, but I would think he would be on the OP's side. Her husband did not follow the golden rule by behaving with a dancer how he would like his wife to act with a customer. Just doesn't make sense, but everything's good with the OP now, so I'll let it go too!

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