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Thread: in tears...need advice..please!

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    Newbie moonheels's Avatar
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    Sad in tears...need advice..please!

    hi ladies
    first I want to thank y'all for all the information on here; it calmed my nerves(a little)lol. before my 1st night.
    2nd i really need your help. last night was my 1st night and I was ready to curl up in a corner and cry by time i was done. i don't know if im being to hard on myself but I am so disappointed in myself. so heres what happened and please give me any tips, advice or approvements i can make to make the next night better.
    I got hired at a club in tampa and went to fill out the paper work friday. on the contract the rules seemed to rule out any of the wordrobe i had at home. it read ur dress had to b full length, no costumey outfits, booty shorts, skirt sets etc.I didn;t have a gown, or what seemed to meet any of dresscode. so put together a bag of the closest i had. last night when i got there...the girls had all that on. and i was confused...and the house mom said that "they were taking a break from the rules" and i felt dumb being in a long dress while the girls had cute stuff...
    The house mom ended up letting me borrow a shorter dress as the night went on(but cost to rent) i asked if i could work a shorter shift since i had never danced and knew i would b a little overwhelmed and was told i had no choice but to work till close and 7hrs.
    and be on stage 6 songs total....i bought some shoes...that arent exactly stripper shoes but alot closer than what i had from the house mom.
    by the 5th hr my feet killed...(bc i wasn' used to it & they weren't a perfect fit) so my 2nd round on stage i was walking funny no matter how hard i tried. so i walked back n the dressing room after and one of the girls walks up to me and asks "are you drunk?" im like "no, why?"
    her:oh ok
    housemom after seeing my look"she only asked bc if how ur walking"
    so none of the girls were friendly, all kinda acted like i was in the way...no matter where i went,and kept saying "how their first night they went home with more than 300, some made the same comment but with 500 or 800. anytime i walked back to fix my makeup or freshen(was only in the dressing room twice all nite for less than 3 min each time) told me to get out and make money and not be there.
    when it go to be 2:30am(after 6 and half hrs) i needed a break....and was overwhelmed. i asked the house mom if i could call it a night and wait in there till it was time to leave and he said nope didnt matter if i was new or overwhlemed. by this point i was near tears and it was just to much for the 1st night and i felt like i failed. so i waited a little more and he let me sit in the dressing room 15min early...
    i made 80 is that really bad ur first night?
    do you think i should try somewhere else?
    your first night were u told u HAD 2 work seven hrs?
    thanx for reading this i know its long and i appreciate any help or mercy given ladies.
    xoxo

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    God/dess Juliette25's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    sorry I don't have any advice. I haven't started yet. Just sorry your first night went badly.

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    Veteran Member Citychick's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    hi Moonheels

    I'm sorry you're so upset after your first night.
    The dress code thing is annoying BUT on the bright side you now know you can wear all your cute clothes there next shift and feel confident.

    I have to say that if the club gives you a 7 hour shift you need to work it, treat dancing like a regular job (which are mostly 8 hours).

  4. #4
    xoAnnaBanana
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    I just read your whole post sweetie. I'm on my blackberry phone right now but as soon as I get on my laptop I will offer some major advice. I have danced one time before. And recently just auditioned in my new city and got hired. Anyway I auditioned and worked a shift right after and stopped because of a family emergency...but I've definitely got some ways for you to improve.

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    Newbie moonheels's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    thanx ladies...appreciate the support. i know im being a baby but i was just sooo overwhelmed...but have to admit it was fun and stage wasn't as bad as i thought....y'all are making me feel better....im gonna be postive and just improve. cant wait to hear ur advice annabanana and ladies if i get negative yell at me..lol

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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    Everybody's first night goes differently. Please don't judge yourself based on the other girl's comments. I've worked in several different clubs and they all varied in how the other dancers related to each other. In most, the new strippers supported each other and the experienced ignored them. It's not personal, they were just focused on making money. I became the same way-it's necessary so that you don't become distracted from your business.

    On my first night I took home $180, only because another girl's customer took pity on me-I looked so stiff on stage. He kept tipping me to encourage the others to tip also. I was so excited. The next day I only made $82 AND the other dancer was mad because her customer (who had come in to see her) had given me a large portion of what he had intended for her. My next couple of weeks were pretty tough.

    Just keep going into the club and vow to learn as much as you can. There's alot to be said for observing. Also, "keep a stiff upper lip". Don't cry, whine, complain or act cling'y. This will help you get along with other dancers while you figure things out.

    This board will be a great resource for you (I wish it was around when I began). Good Luck!

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    Newbie moonheels's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    thanx pinkminx for all the great advice. yea, i didnt even think of the obvious...how my being down on myself prob came across not so great to the other girls....locking lip..gonna keep it stiff..lol...but for real great advice.
    it helps to know the 1st couple wks were rough for u too and that its gonna get better. i need to pratice in the mirror.....stage...hides face in heads
    but im getting new shoes today...so i can walk..lol...and that will improve the next time alot.
    thanks sweetie

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    Veteran Member Lexi_Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    I don't even really think most guys care what you do on stage. I get plenty of requests once I get off stage for dances, and tons of compliments on my stage show, and I don't do pole or floor work :x So don't worry about looking silly, most guys won't notice as long as you're slow and smiling.

    As an aside, smiling helps make you feel happier, and acting confident makes you feel more confident. Shoulders back, chest out, suck your tummy in, stand up straight and smile. And do that all night. And then, if you have to, you can come home and sulk, but do whatever you can to maintain yourself at work.

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    Featured Member Mindy Bares All's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    Quote Originally Posted by moonheels View Post
    no matter where i went,and kept saying "how their first night they went home with more than 300, some made the same comment but with 500 or 800.
    Yeah, their first night at that club, not their first night ever. They're just trying to use scare tactics. Don't let them get to you. Just treat them like how they treat you- like you don't have the time or care. Or just steer clear of them. Your second night will go better and third and fourth and fifth and so on. If you have a shitty first month or two and every night goes like that, you might want to reconsider dancing. But I'm 87% positive that things will go better for you tonight. Best of luck!

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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    I've only gone in once and i was lucky to work in a club where the manager and girls were nice and it was really laid back. As for the money, i made $46 the whole time i was there (i was there for 6 hours) and it was just from floor work. I didn't have the guts to give any guys dances ( i hope i do this next time. i need the moolah XD ). Study the newbie board. it helps alot. Ignore those bitches, they're just trying to mess with your head and you don't deserve that. Just keep trying. good luck honey.

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  13. #11
    xoAnnaBanana
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    Okay sweetie. Don't be so hard on yourself. It was only your first night! Now that it's over with you can move on and do better next time !

    In order to do that make sure you're PREPARED.

    This means that your outfits are picked out & packed (Now that you know you're allowed to wear cute 2 piece outfits, etc. then wear whatever makes you feel the most confident. Don't necessarily wear what the other girls are wearing, you want to try and stand out-- in a good way.) Also you NEED to get a good pair of shoes. These are essential and the only real investment that should be made when you first start dancing, at least I think so. I shopped around online and found mine on under the Shoes section, in clearance. I got 6" light up shoes for $28!!! Normally they are $55 or more. Also you can try , they have a clearance section too. So do yourself a favor and buy real stripper shoes ASAP. I would also make sure you get ones with an ankle strap so that you're not slipping out of your shoes. P.S. I'm a 7.5 shoe size but they don't do half sizes so I got a 7, they fit perfectly. So go down a half size.

    At least now you know what shift length is expected of you. So next time you work, don't go into it thinking that you're going to be overwhelmed or dreading the long hours. Look at it as an opportunity to make some serious bank. Think about it, in theory... the longer you're there, the more customers you'll see come in and out, the more customers you'll get to interact with, the more dances you'll sell, the more money you take home at the end of the night. It's totally worth it. Positive thoughts bring positive actions. I always try and think optimistically. So the next time you go in, think how well you're going to do. I'm planning on working 4pm-2am Friday and Saturday and 12pm-7pm on Sunday and I couldn't be happier, I'm psyched to work long hours.

    Also now that you know the girls there aren't friendly/welcoming, I wouldn't bother trying to be polite or nice, just be indifferent. Ignore the other girls, you're not there to make friends, you're there to make money. I had another dancer who seemed to be talking shit to the manager about my sister and I before we auditioned... but it didn't phase us AT ALL. In one ear and out the other. If the girls are being catty maybe they just see you as competition.

    And $80 is not bad your first night (At least I don't think so). I've read some girls on here left the club OWING money instead of making any. I wouldn't try working somewhere else yet. Get your feet wet first at the club you're currently at, work on hustling, see if you like the management, if extras happen or not, etc., and then see after a little while if the club suits you.

    To summarize my advice...
    Be prepared. Get your image (outfit, shoes, makeup, personality, flirting, etc.) as good as you possibly can. Get your hustling technique as good as you possibly can. I read virtually every single thread in Hustle Hut. I browsed this forum for 6 months before even becoming a member. I typed out a study guide for my sister and I and now I feel completely calm, cool, and collected. When I got to the club, I wasn't nervous at all, I knew we had it in the bag.

    I have a total student mentality about me. It's like when you're going to take a big exam... you take notes and study them until you feel totally confident in the material-- and then when the time comes to take the test, you ace it.

    I wish you the best of luck! As a fellow noob I hope this advice can help you. It's just a culmination of my experiences.

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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    How much $$$ did you make Moon(not that it matters the first few shifts ever can often be very sucky!!)? Those girls are just being bitches and you better get used to it. They were trying to make you feel bad and it worked. Don't give them the permission to make you feel shitty!

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    Stiffen up that upper lip girl! You can do this. Don't cry! Give yourself a foot massage and have a glass of wine. Take that 80 bucks you made and buy some proper stripper shoes - trust me, the real ones are much more comfortable than ANY civilian heels. Study up on hustle hut and get yourself some hot outfits together that you feel comfortable and sexy in. Most importantly, realize that what the other girls say doesn't matter - they could be lying through their teeth, and probably are; that's none of your concern. Don't let what they say effect YOUR money or self esteem!

    Take care and I'm hoping to hear you have a Killer 3rd shift!! XOXO!



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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    it sounds like the other girls were trying to intimidate you. also, keep in mind, most of them probably started dancing before the recession really took its toll. plus you are in tampa, and summer is starting to roll around, so business might be slowing down.

    i hate clubs that dont let you take breaks. i always remind them that i am an independent contractor NOT an employee; however, i am not a new dancer and i have no problem getting into it with the management when i feel like my status as an IC is being breached... as a new girl it might be best to not get into a battle with management over principles. if they wont let you sit down in the DR, try to find a more discreet area of the club and maybe sit down for a few minutes.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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  18. #15
    Newbie moonheels's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    u ladies are awesome....i already feel 99% more prepared and actually excited to go back tommorrow after all u told me....annabanana i admire ur readiness. thats awesome u prepared urself that much being a newbie...u would never know..u sond like a pro already.
    im going look at the sites u sent right now....thanks
    and im just gonna take the girls being catty as a compelment now

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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    When you are really tired and your feet hurt, go sit with a customer. Have a few song convo with him. Tell him you are new, etc... Use that time to really relax. When you sit there, just for your own personal relaxation and never even ask for a dance, 99% of the time he will ask you.

    Combine fake it 'til you make it and relax into this job.

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    Veteran Member prettysammie's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    If you can't sit down in the dressing room, can you sit down with a customer? A guy friend of mine who hates going to strip clubs says his best experience was when a girl sat down next him and said "can you slide your drink into the middle so it looks like you're buying me a drink? I just want to rest my feet."

    He liked it because it meant girls weren't dropping into his lap any more and he could go back to watching the game on the tv. He says he was dragged there by an ad agency he works with. He's the last guy I would ever picture in a strip club because he hates lights, noises and people touching him.

    Anyway, he said it kind of made his night because he had a partner in misery. She could take breaks by talking to him and he could be left alone and not have the guys he works with give him shit for ignoring the naked girls around him.

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    Newbie moonheels's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    hey ladies...my second night went so much better! not alot more money but after talking to u girls....i was able to handle everything alot better. i even got one champagne room for 15min on a real died night.
    i caught a "real" outfit and" real shoes and that made a big differnce, made sure i was prepared so i didnt have to ask for anything. and u ladies really switched my mindstate and i went in there ready to make money. i had to laugh; i think the girls sensed a change in confidence...everyone tried to be nice....and honestly i was polite but just about my own biz:")

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  23. #19
    xoAnnaBanana
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    ^Congrats!!! Sounds like your 2nd night went much better!!!

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    God/dess Juliette25's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    Quote Originally Posted by moonheels View Post
    i think the girls sensed a change in confidence...everyone tried to be nice....and honestly i was polite but just about my own biz:")
    Strippers can smell fear

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    Veteran Member ariel1228's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    Good job! =D

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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    Yeahh girl. You show 'em. Any anytime you feel overwhelmed: breathe in, breath out, and smile.

    (It's literally impossible to cry/heave if you are breathing heavily out of your mouth... just as a quick aside )

  29. #23
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    Maybe you should check out some other clubs that have the dress code you like and maybe buy some new shoes with the money you made. 80 dollars is great for your first night espicially since you were miserable and new!!
    Just go in the next day in be very confident and dont let anyone knock you off your game or find another club Im sure there are plenty

    Good luck

  30. #24
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    sweetie welcome to stripping..I've hopped three clubs in my short career as a stripper and the good thing is..there's good about some clubs and good about others. I work better with a flexible manager but I know girls who work really well under the Nazi type.

    harden your skin this isn't easy work

  31. #25
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: in tears...need advice..please!

    Glad your second night improved I think its hard for most girls at first. Fake it till you make it girl!

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