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Thread: Drawing the line without driving them away

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    Default Drawing the line without driving them away

    Hi,

    I've been dancing for a little over a year, and as I am by nature eager to please and hate confrontations, I find that I've allowed customers more and more contact. Several regulars now expect a full-frontal hug whenever I see them or when I finish a lap dance. It seems the hugs get a little longer and gropier each time. Can I backtrack on the hugs now without insulting my regulars?

    With a new customer who's tipping me to sit next to him, how do I allow a little shoulder-to-shoulder contact or occasional peck on the cheek to keep the dollars coming, but then stop him from touching me more without driving him away? Our club has the official 1-foot policy, but everyone knows some contact is tolerated, ass/tit/pussy grabbing is a no-no, but where the line is depends on who's managing and what mood he's in. So it's not like I can point to some sign on the wall to let the customer know what's allowed.

    And how do I turn down an invitation to hang out with a customer after my shift ends, without shattering the illusion that I’m crazy about him?

    I feel awkward because I try and pretend that I truly like the customer and enjoy spending time with him, so when it comes time to demand my money or slap down a wayward hand I feel wierd about it and can't figure out how to do it gracefully.

    Thanks so much for any advice.

    Margie (not my real or stage name!)

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    Default Re: Drawing the line without driving them away

    i don't know. maybe i've been doing this for too long and simply don't give a damn, but when someone (a regular, even) starts to push your boundaries of comfort, it's no longer worth the money anyway.
    i have never had a regular who violated my boundaries as you are describing, because i shut that shit down asap. it takes too much energy to entertain someone who thinks you are "crazy about them" and i think it could not possibly be worth the money.

    there is a thread called 'shelf life of a regular' that may help to show you that this progression of many regular customer relationships ends like this. they want too much, they fail to understand that this is simply a job, and either you walk away or they do.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drawing the line without driving them away

    You can hold hands with him still, stroke his arms, rub his back and behind his neck. Usually if you are touching him in a way that comforts him, he thinks less about touching you.
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    Default Re: Drawing the line without driving them away

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    You can hold hands with him still, stroke his arms, rub his back and behind his neck. Usually if you are touching him in a way that comforts him, he thinks less about touching you.
    I agree!

    As far as the extended hugs post dance, lean in and act kinda shy and embarrassed, and say "hun, I loved that dance, and I hate to cut this hug short, but I REALLY have to go pee!" Act the part, and they will release quickly, and it's no pressure for either side, or un-comfort. I've done the I gotta pee thing for YEARS with no problems, and they STILL come back for more laps.


    As far as the "after hours" thing, it depends on the day and my mood on how I respond. Usually, it's a "sorry love, I have dogs at home that are dying to go potty and I DO NOT want pee stains on my new antique oriental rug!" Or be flat out honest, as cool as they are, you don't want to get fired for doing it, since it's not allowed/illegal.

    Basically, redirect.
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    Default Re: Drawing the line without driving them away

    I think the only way to backtrack may end up costing you some regulars. However there are more regulars out there.

    Although I'm not fond of doing it - you could say the management has become more strict so you have to be careful.

    You could also hint that the manager is making their way back to the VIP or watching or whatever. I know girls do this and why, because they have grabby customers. Somehow they turn it into a tease.

    When guys get gropey I don't say anything and just turn my body in another direction with a smile of course. Or if I'm not able to do that I say "I'm going to get in trouble." or "I need to be careful."

    So this is just something to think about as I said you may end up losing some customers. It's harder to start all over if they are expecting what they have always gotten.

    Think about it unless they are paying you really well these are low end customers. Grabby and high maintenance. You could always up the price if it's allowed and see what they do.

    You could also try being extra flirty in other ways like Kylea2 two said.

    On keeping them interested...just tell them you need to get to know them better or always come up with a reason why "This week wont work." If you go to school just tell them you're very disciplined. If you don't go to school tell them you have a family member (or pet) to take care of or a part time job.




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