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Thread: What should I have done? :/

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    Member SalsaDancer's Avatar
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    Default What should I have done? :/

    Last night there was this group of loud obnoxious drunk guys at my club. I was sitting and BSing with them before my stage set and they went to the tip rail for me, so I ended up making a lot of money off them when I went on stage.


    The girl who came up after me is one of the chunkier girls in my club. They started making loud comments about how fat she was, and "Eww, how did we go from HER to YOU?" I know she could hear them. I felt horrible. Part of me wanted wanted to tell them off, but they DID spend a good bit of money on me. I don't really know this girl that well and I didn't know what to do, so I just went and hid in the dressing room for the rest of her set. What would you have done?
    "The worst pain a man can suffer: to have insight into much and power over nothing." -- Herodotus

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    I don't go for guys disrespecting co-workers. I've told customers to knock it off before.
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    Member SalsaDancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Maybe I should have gotten a bouncer. I need to grow a damn backbone.
    "The worst pain a man can suffer: to have insight into much and power over nothing." -- Herodotus

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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Well, I think that comes with time. After doing this for so long though I really understand that there's such a wide variety in what men like that with guys start talking bs about my co-workers it irritates me because they aren't thinking about what other customers might like. In other words, they are being selfish.
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    Senior Member PeachyQueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Ugh I hate rude and obnoxious custies. That was so wrong of them. And honestly you could definitely have found a way of taking up for her without losing money. I've kinda been in your situation and I've always suggested that they should go tip her, or I'll ask for a couple dollars for me to go tip her. Or I'll stand up and do something to bring their focus back to me instead of the girl on stage like demand them to buy a round of drinks or a dance from me or something.

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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Quite honestly, I would just mind my own business unless she was a friend of mine.

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    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    ^ditto.

    You're there to make money. Of course, there ARE ways that you could've stood up for her without probably sacrificing that money, most likely, but it's not your job to stand up for your co-workers. They're grown women.

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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    To me it would depend. In this case, they were tipping so I'd ignore. I remember one club I was working at these young white males came in and started cutting down the dancers. As it turned out, both the dancer before me and after me were big girls (this club hired anything) and they were saying "are there any skinny girls here" I actually got off stage and told them off, though I doubt they were referring to me (they were standing around the stage and not tipping). They left then. On the other hand, I admit I've engaged in making fun of the larger girls with customers who were tipping me. Was it fair? probably not but in this case these girls shouldn't have been dancing so as far as I'm concerned, if you dance, develop a thick skin.

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    Senior Member PeachyQueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    so as far as I'm concerned, if you dance, develop a thick skin.
    True true true!!!

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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    I'd love to tell them she probably makes more money than they do.

    It just depends. I usually just try and hype her up like: "Yeah well she has a lot of regulars and is always in the V.I.P." Unless it's someone I really don't know. There have only been a few girls in my day where I'm like "No you should not be dancing." I just don't have any comments on the issue and tell guys "Hey be nice!"

    It's true for some of the girls who are above average thick. (Is that a good term?) or plus size.

    You really can't be totally overweight and be a stripper. You have to carry yourself extremely well, have a good stage show, wear good costumes and have a good personality.

    Some girls I know who are on the plus size are very sweet, have regulars and make more money than some of the skinnier dancers.




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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Here's my thing. I've danced with a lot of girls. There's one girl who is an SW'er and she continuously gets ragged on and made fun of by guys. I've been with customers who made fun of her when she was literally right behind them. I don't find it amusing. Actually, I think it's rather tasteless and I'm embarrassed to be around people who are so tacky... so I'd rather just tell him off and walk away. Chances are if I'm sitting with him long enough for him to feel comfortable making fun of others - I already have his money. Tell him to zip it is not likely to hinder much what I'll take home for the night, and I'd rather keep on good terms with the other dancer.

    By the way, said girl mentioned already knew why guys made fun of her/didn't like her and got it fixed.
    Last edited by Kylea2; 04-17-2010 at 01:15 PM.
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Personally, I would have said in a cute voice, 'thats not very nice, she must be doing well, always in VIP and makes tons of money' and then gotten serious motivation to get every dollar out of those jackasses for saying that to ANY girl. Just horrible.

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    Veteran Member AdventureBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    We're there to work and make $$. It's a challenging industry and a dancer HAS to develop a thick skin or else it will just chew you up and spit you out.

    Watch your own back because no one else is going to ... can't ever count on that from anyone.

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    Veteran Member ariel1228's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    I would of stood up for her by saying something like "that's not very nice" and diverting their attention away from her. I then would of asked for tips from all of them to give to her or at least given her a dollar out of my own garter.
    You never know when you are going to be the one getting made fun of. Afterall, this buisness is based on looks and looks only last SO long.
    I would never ever make fun of another dancer with customers. Talk about classless & trashy!

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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    if u stand up to the guys you risk losing custies.... so tell a bouncer maybe (if you care) and then i'd talk to the girl after just to kinda make sure she was okay but bitching out the drunk guys is not always a good idea

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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    this. i don't know how any dancer can sit and watch another dancer be humiliated by customers and not step in but that's just me.



    Quote Originally Posted by ariel1228 View Post
    I would of stood up for her by saying something like "that's not very nice" and diverting their attention away from her. I then would of asked for tips from all of them to give to her or at least given her a dollar out of my own garter.
    You never know when you are going to be the one getting made fun of. Afterall, this buisness is based on looks and looks only last SO long.
    I would never ever make fun of another dancer with customers. Talk about classless & trashy!

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    Featured Member OJenni!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    To me it would depend. In this case, they were tipping so I'd ignore. I remember one club I was working at these young white males came in and started cutting down the dancers. As it turned out, both the dancer before me and after me were big girls (this club hired anything) and they were saying "are there any skinny girls here" I actually got off stage and told them off, though I doubt they were referring to me (they were standing around the stage and not tipping). They left then. On the other hand, I admit I've engaged in making fun of the larger girls with customers who were tipping me. Was it fair? probably not but in this case these girls shouldn't have been dancing so as far as I'm concerned, if you dance, develop a thick skin.
    I have worked as both a larger girl and a "normal" sized girl. It takes a thick skin to get on stage and get naked. That said I do agree with you on some level that larger girls just should not be dancing.

    When I was a larger girl I would often get guys laughing at me on stage and cutting me down. I would ignore that shit pretty well and on the floor these same guys that made fun of me were often shocked when I would walk right by them acting as if they were not even there (walk through their crowd of friends, head held high and smiling). Strangely enough this would often get me a tap on the shoulder asking for a dance. Yes many guys who made fun of me on the stage would end up buying dances.

    Granted now I do sell more dances as I am currently (5'7 and 125 pounds) but let's just say I blend in more now with the status quo strippers.

    If my customers are making fun of a girl on stage I will politely re-focus them on me, perhaps suggesting we move to a more private area. Besides guys that are truly "not digging"/disgusted by overweight dancers would not be up near the stage. Guys up near the stage making fun of her probably find her attractive in some way shape or form but are too immature/embarrassed to admit to it. This girl has an easy hustle if she plays her cards right. Unfortunately most overweight dancers I see do not, and do the whole sulking/low confidence thing. And that is the primary reason IMO why they should not be in the club. Even when I was overweight and dancing was pulling $150 average a night, so IMO not one of these girls should be sulking that they can't make the $15 house fee back. Not one.

    Even on nights when I was so knocked down by these customers I was about to cry- I would save that for the dressing room, walk out on the floor with my head high and a smile. Trust me, confidence attracts money.

    But if the guys get too out of hand, then it's time to call on staff to help. But by then they are normally involved anyhow.



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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    ^^^ It's not just about being large though. Customers talk a lot of BS sometimes. It could be about your chest, your complexion, teeth, nose, ears... either way they need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves.
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    I can't imagine not saying something, whether I was close to the girl or not. I've always spoken up to these kind of guys, whether they were liking me or not.

    Who just sits around and watches people try to humiliate someone?



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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Granted, I didn't step in and stop it, but it's not like I encouraged it, either. It was me and 6 custies who had too much to drink and were starting to play off of one another's rudeness. I just got really overwhelmed by it, so I threw a few dollars on her stage and scampered off to the dressing room. In retrospect I probably should have told a bouncer. My fight or flight response just kicked in and I haven't been a stripper long enough to have the balls to tell off 6 drunken men at once, especially immediately after they dropped a hundred bucks on my stage.
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Quite honestly, I would just mind my own business unless she was a friend of mine.
    Same here.

    You didn't do anything wrong hon.
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    You can't handle that yourself, tell the manager, dj or owner so they can take action. You would want someone to do it for you right?

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    If she's the fat girl by your club's standards, she needs to lose weight or find another place to work, or keep expecting people to be that way to her. Sorry. Reality.

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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    There are many overweight girls at my club and they make good money for the simple fact that they are good hustlers and different guys like different things. When customers say something bad about a girl onstage referring to her weight or anything else, I just say "there is a variety of girls because different guys like different things. What you like doesnt mean the guy at the next table has the same taste as you. It hasnt messed with my money and even if it did, people like that need to be put in their place.

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    Veteran Member loren's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I have done? :/

    When I am with a customer who insults one of my co workers I just tell them something positive about her. for example- Wow i think she is very pretty or she is really good on stage, or a lot of guys like bigger girls. I remember a guy saying that a coworker was too skinny. The girl he said that about was a centerfold! As you can imagine, I was shocked.
    I remember once I was sitting at a table with some guys who were complaining about fat female customers. When I pointed out the fact that they were complaining about customers all they said was I don't care. I don't want to see that when I'm in here. It was unbeleivable. Of course the biggest complainer with the most anger was a super fat guy.
    Some guys are just hateful because they are psychologically imbalanced. Unfortunately those guys know that strippers are easy targets for all their psycho, crazy, hatred.
    Last edited by loren; 04-17-2010 at 09:33 PM.
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