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Thread: I did it

  1. #1
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default I did it

    Well it's official. I am no longer a dancer. I thought I'd be ecstatic. Im not. For some reason I feel like Im losing something??

    I have so been looking forward to this, it's really throwing me for a loop at how I feel. Everyone is SOOO happy for me, so why am I the only one unhappy by this decision? Am I not really ready to quit? I mean... I just don't understand. I love bartending. I should be so much happier...
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Maybe you still love dancing, just not dealing with customers. What about looking into go-go dancing or burlesque on the side for fun?
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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  3. #3
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    I LOVE dancing... I just can't work my club anymore and theres no where else to go at the moment...
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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    Default Re: I did it

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    Maybe you still love dancing, just not dealing with customers. What about looking into go-go dancing or burlesque on the side for fun?
    Go go dancing, at least in NJ is just as bad, still dealing with customers- bad ones at that. However, I kind of feel the same- I love dancing, but hate hate dealing with grabby guys and jerks, when I'm at work, I hate it. When I'm not at work, I miss it. Hardcore love/hate relationship going on! But then there's nights like tonite, where you walk out with a lot more than you thought you had, and suddenly dealing with all the jerks hurts a bit less!

  5. #5
    Member mayajaya's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Me Too, I loved the money I just couldn't take the emotional draining anymore of dealing with guys all night long. I admire you girls who do this many nights a week and make a living out of doing this. I enjoyed the dancing part and some of the customer interaction. I just couldn't take the other customers who pushed for more and more all the time. I gained a new confidence in doing this over the last 7 months and I really know how to turn men on and off now. I'm going to look for a bartending job at an outside bar for the summer. I just want to thank you ladies for all the things I learned from this site, I'm just amazed how some of you have done this for so long and so often. I made new girl friends and an amazing boyfriend over the last 7 months. I can do this because of my day job.

    Going to NYC today for brunch with my amazing man.

    Thanks Girls best of luck. I'm going to check in time to time and your all amazing for what you do.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Lexi_Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    I know I've talked about this article here before, but this is an article I think is applicable to so much in our lives.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/07/ma...tml?sec=health

    Specifically, in this case:

    The problem, as Gilbert and company have come to discover, is that we falter when it comes to imagining how we will feel about something in the future. It isn't that we get the big things wrong. We know we will experience visits to Le Cirque and to the periodontist differently; we can accurately predict that we'd rather be stuck in Montauk than in a Midtown elevator. What Gilbert has found, however, is that we overestimate the intensity and the duration of our emotional reactions -- our ''affect'' -- to future events. In other words, we might believe that a new BMW will make life perfect. But it will almost certainly be less exciting than we anticipated; nor will it excite us for as long as predicted.


    Maybe you thought leaving stripping might make your life perfect, that it would make you happy beyond reason? <3 Give it time, adjust, and you might realize that you're really quite happy now, it just isn't the scream it on the rooftop happy. And when we leave one part of our life and start a new one, the sense of loss is normal. It doesn't mean you're making the wrong decision, just that it was a part of you that's over now.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member AdventureBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    Everyone is SOOO happy for me, so why am I the only one unhappy by this decision?
    IMHO ... because you're NOT really ready to stop dancing ... and that's ok ... why should you stop dancing if it's something you still enjoy doing?

    I'll never understand why it's soooooo important to others (family, friends) in our lives for us to stop dancing? And when we do quit they're happy? WTF?! How the hell does our lives have anything to do w/ their lives?! Is it because they're not living true to themselves and dam if they want to see someone else happily living their life? It's totally the misery loves company type of thing ... sigh.


    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    I LOVE dancing... I just can't work my club anymore and theres no where else to go at the moment...
    Bummer ... and there's your reason why you're not really happy.


    All I can say is ... ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF ... and fuck what anyone else has to say about how you live your life

  8. #8
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Quote Originally Posted by AdventureBaby View Post
    IMHO ... because you're NOT really ready to stop dancing ... and that's ok ... why should you stop dancing if it's something you still enjoy doing?

    I'll never understand why it's soooooo important to others (family, friends) in our lives for us to stop dancing? And when we do quit they're happy? WTF?! How the hell does our lives have anything to do w/ their lives?! Is it because they're not living true to themselves and dam if they want to see someone else happily living their life? It's totally the misery loves company type of thing ... sigh.




    Bummer ... and there's your reason why you're not really happy.


    All I can say is ... ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF ... and fuck what anyone else has to say about how you live your life
    I didn't quit because I wanted to really, and maybe that's my problem/answer. But it's not because my family or anything wanted me to. They're happy because quitting means Im out of a situation that was really out of control and dangerous for me to be in.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

  9. #9
    Veteran Member AdventureBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    I didn't quit because I wanted to really, and maybe that's my problem/answer. But it's not because my family or anything wanted me to. They're happy because quitting means Im out of a situation that was really out of control and dangerous for me to be in.
    Hmmm, not sure what your situation is exactly but out of control and dangerous is definitely not good for you ... so you did the best/right thing by quitting.

    I'm sure you've looked at all of your options but I'm gonna add my 2 cents ... again

    Since you still love dancing, if there is a city close to you w/ a good club that you will be safe then you can dance there ... maybe once a month for a week.

    I'm glad your family is supportive ... that's very important. That's something I wish I have but unfortunately I don't.

    Good luck honey ... w/ what ever you decide to do ... and most of all be safe, as I'm sure you will

  10. #10
    Veteran Member Simone NinaNin's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    I didn't quit because I wanted to really, and maybe that's my problem/answer. But it's not because my family or anything wanted me to. They're happy because quitting means Im out of a situation that was really out of control and dangerous for me to be in.

    I don't know either what you mean by "unsafe" but I am glad you got out of a bad situation. I had to quit once and it was the WORST thing ever! I was sad and miserable and got tired of trying to justify why I loved dancing. I finally went back and couldn't be happier. I am in my element and I make no excuses.

    If you want to come to Philly to work, send me a PM. My club is awesome and it is like working with family.
    Stripper after hours... NinaNin.com

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    Default Re: I did it

    You're like me, going through a lot of change. It's ok to feel overwhelmed and unsure- yesterday in the car I was SO overwhelmed with information that I couldn't give proper directions to get back to our apartment. Do you have a good support system?

    Still always an open invitation to come down to see us and dance here. Always!

  12. #12
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    You're like me, going through a lot of change. It's ok to feel overwhelmed and unsure- yesterday in the car I was SO overwhelmed with information that I couldn't give proper directions to get back to our apartment. Do you have a good support system?

    Still always an open invitation to come down to see us and dance here. Always!
    If you're serious I may really take you up on it. I need a break and a change of scenery.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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    Default Re: I did it

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    If you're serious I may really take you up on it. I need a break and a change of scenery.
    I'm very very serious. We will be in a bigger place pretty shortly here so I don't see a problem with it.

  14. #14
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    people are happy for you?? they werent before? im tired of people looking at this job in a negative way including the dancers theirselves. this is honest, true work- depending on how you carry out business.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    -----
    Last edited by Athenathefabulous; 02-26-2011 at 04:58 PM.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  16. #16
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    Default Re: I did it

    I am sort of in the same boat as you. I stopped dancing "on a whim" in October and started bartending. I ended up getting fired and its the end on "season" in Florida so now I am worried. i will be applying for scholarships and looking for a new job when the semester is over. Keep your head up, at least you have steady employment.

  17. #17
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I'm very very serious. We will be in a bigger place pretty shortly here so I don't see a problem with it.
    It would take me a few weeks to work out the details anyway so that may be perfect.

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    people are happy for you?? they werent before? im tired of people looking at this job in a negative way including the dancers theirselves. this is honest, true work- depending on how you carry out business.
    People are happy for me because of the situation I was in, not because of the job itself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    in regard to moving to austin: there is a joke among my couchsurfing friends that Austin is the recovery place for New Yorkers....

    just thought i would throw that out there . even if you arent from the city... you are still in the general area. Personally, im originally a jersey girl..
    LoL. Well... I assume there is a reason for that then and I could def use some recovery time. I need to clear my head and get my shit back together.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

  18. #18
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Im debating whether or not Im actually going to be able to stick with this.....
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

  19. #19
    Senior Member Fahren's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did it

    Just my 2 cents
    Last summer I retired from dancing, for many different factors 1: we were heading into the worst season #2: I developed some serious burn out -cutting my work to 2 days a week -wasn't cutting it -#3: I have always attracted the stalked types -and they were becoming way more aggressive, emotionally abusive -the bouncers and managemnt were shitheads that didn't really care. #4- As much as I love performing (which was the reason I started in the first place) -I was absolutely not loving this anymore -I've been involved in some form of dance since I was a kid (like most of us) - I hate to sound like a crybaby but for almost the last year -I didn't even feel comfortable just dancing to have fun -that was the worst part of it all.
    t was my fault for allowing myself to get caught up in the drama that can soon engulf your life when stripping -I woke up one day and realized that I was going to wake with that last vestiges of my youth spent up in a place that wasn't doing me much good. You have to be in a good state of mind and emotionally sound -to take the bullsh!t that can be handed to you.

    That said if I could do it all again, I would -and I would have done it sooner, better, stronger, more competitively. My drawback at starting was that I had no social life, feeling like I was adrift in the sea on a rickety raft... The money was sooo easy at first -I would make $$$.-stage no lapdances, it wasn't til I moved to the divier club that I actually had to start selling lapdances. So many personal problems ensued. All in All -dancing saved my life whilst also bringing me to brink of my sanity and at the edge of compromising my future.

    Now I'm dancing everyday and I can't wait to install my own pole and stage for working out.
    My own Private Idaho.

    I miss you girls though, dancers can have a friendship that is uncomparable to most female friendships. Maybe because we are acutely aware that "she" will stab us in the front and then shrug it off, I don't know why, it just is.. .

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