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Thread: Restraining Orders

  1. #1
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Restraining Orders

    This is completely foreign to me so Im looking for info. What do I need to do/have in order to get a restraining order against someone? I've had cause to, but have not ever filed a single police report. Does that automatically mean I can't get one?

    Thx for any help anyone can offer.
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    I'd suggest keeping a journal (written or electronic) and recording everything with dates and times (if you haven't already), and calling the police next time something happens.

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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    Normally you have to speak to a judge to get one. Call the police station though and ask about it. I've had a couple against people (an ex-boyfriend and a weirdo/peeping-tom). Sometimes you don't even have to appear in person to get the restraining order.
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    calling the police station is a good start. you can simply explain whatever the situation is and ask what can be done and they will typically guide you from there.

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    Veteran Member jennsweet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    You only can get one through a judge. my gf at the moment is going through this. she had to prove that he was stalking with texts, witnesses, emails and stuff like that. so keep any evidence of his crimes. you have to prove to a judge he broke the law, then you can get one.

    the laws may be differ in your state, so i agree^^ call the police

  6. #6
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    in NY state, any local judge can issue a restraining order. However, you will need to go before the judge to request such an order ... and you will need to present reasonable 'proof' that the person you're seeking the order against actually presents a 'risk' to you. As HockeyBobby points out, a journal of 'evidence' will come in very handy in this regard.

    Also, in NY state, local judges will often balk at issuing an ex-parte restraining order [ meaning that only you and not the person named in the restraining order has presented evidence before the local judge] in the absence of concrete 'proof' that you are at 'risk'. In the absence of concrete 'proof', the judge will usually want to notify the person you're seeking the restraining order against BEFORE a restraining order hearing takes place, such that the other person can be present during that hearing to argue their own position. Of course, in a small number of situations, the court's notifying the other person that you are seeking a restraining order against can prompt an immediate 'retaliation' by that person before a restraining order is issued !!! If that happens, you can definitely get a restraining order issued ex-parte immediately afterward, but you may be wearing bruises by then.

    Depending on where in NY you live, the best first step is often to call your local county sherriff's department as opposed to local police or state police. The 'county mounties' typically have a lot more involvement with local courts.

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    Member ShanFla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    The laws in each state varry. However, only a judge can isue one. The police DEP, (and it's not even worth your time to ask them what to do) will just say file one. They do not know the state stautes surrounding this issue. You will need to go to the courthouse and request one. YOU not your attny, has to fill out the paperwork for the order. In Florida, you need by law, 2 prior documented, events in order for a judge to issue a temporary order, then if the temp order is given, in 2 weeks you meet with the judge and he will hear from all parties and decide if the order will be permanent.

    It is embarrassing to do. State the facts don't imbellish, misinformation is not tollerated and if you make a statement that is not true, the case could go very badly for you. Also, you could be subject to a civil suit if it's proven that you lied about something. Most cases, and I repeat most cases a permantent order is not granted.

    Restraining orders have become much too common place and judges are wise to the fact that most requests are generated by women trying to get men out of the house and therefore, do not meet the state standards. It's a very common divorce tatic.

    Good luck and document everything
    Last edited by ShanFla; 04-19-2010 at 04:31 AM.
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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    in NY state, any local judge can issue a restraining order. However, you will need to go before the judge to request such an order ... and you will need to present reasonable 'proof' that the person you're seeking the order against actually presents a 'risk' to you. As HockeyBobby points out, a journal of 'evidence' will come in very handy in this regard.

    Also, in NY state, local judges will often balk at issuing an ex-parte restraining order [ meaning that only you and not the person named in the restraining order has presented evidence before the local judge] in the absence of concrete 'proof' that you are at 'risk'. In the absence of concrete 'proof', the judge will usually want to notify the person you're seeking the restraining order against BEFORE a restraining order hearing takes place, such that the other person can be present during that hearing to argue their own position. Of course, in a small number of situations, the court's notifying the other person that you are seeking a restraining order against can prompt an immediate 'retaliation' by that person before a restraining order is issued !!! If that happens, you can definitely get a restraining order issued ex-parte immediately afterward, but you may be wearing bruises by then.

    Depending on where in NY you live, the best first step is often to call your local county sherriff's department as opposed to local police or state police. The 'county mounties' typically have a lot more involvement with local courts.
    Nice. If this is true I'm more likely to end up seriously hurt or dead long before I get the order... Nice to know they look out and try to protect people...

    Thanks everyone.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
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    Member ShanFla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    If you go to the courthouse and request a temp order ( a temp is always given first ) and its given you will be given paperwork and then can have the person served. In two weeks, you all will meet with the judge that granted the order and see if the order needs to become perm.

    If your temp is not given, like Melonie said, the court will notify the other party that you tried to have a order taken out. Regardless, in 2 weeks the judge will request both parties come in and will review the request. Concrete evidence is really the only thing that the judge will listen too. Having a credible witness is very important here. If nobody saw nuttin, and its your word against his, you're gonna have a tough time getting a judge to agree with you. Save your text messages, e-mails, notes whatever you have and try to establish a accurate timeline of each event.

    You have to understand that if a order is given, it's a mark on that persons record. Potential employers can see it as well as anyone else. You also loose some of your rights. So, it may not seem like the courts are doing enough for you, in reality they are. What if someone that did not like you at work just wanted to make life difficult for you and tried to get one on you. If would totally screw you up if it was given just cause someone said you did something to them.
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  10. #10
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    Quote Originally Posted by ShanFla View Post
    If you go to the courthouse and request a temp order ( a temp is always given first ) and its given you will be given paperwork and then can have the person served. In two weeks, you all will meet with the judge that granted the order and see if the order needs to become perm.

    If your temp is not given, like Melonie said, the court will notify the other party that you tried to have a order taken out. Regardless, in 2 weeks the judge will request both parties come in and will review the request. Concrete evidence is really the only thing that the judge will listen too. Having a credible witness is very important here. If nobody saw nuttin, and its your word against his, you're gonna have a tough time getting a judge to agree with you. Save your text messages, e-mails, notes whatever you have and try to establish a accurate timeline of each event.

    You have to understand that if a order is given, it's a mark on that persons record. Potential employers can see it as well as anyone else. You also loose some of your rights. So, it may not seem like the courts are doing enough for you, in reality they are. What if someone that did not like you at work just wanted to make life difficult for you and tried to get one on you. If would totally screw you up if it was given just cause someone said you did something to them.
    I understand what you're saying but it's a little different here. I don't want one for no reason. He's threatened to kill me on numerous occassions and has come at me twice now. I have witnesses but I don't know if they'd come to court for me, everyone is afraid of him.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

  11. #11
    Veteran Member jennsweet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    cant anyone verify his actions at your club? bouncers or owner? (assuming its a custy!?)

  12. #12
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Restraining Orders

    ^ It's not a customer, and yes they can, if they're willing, which, as I said, most are afraid of him, and I can't blame them for that.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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