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Thread: Did I....

  1. #1
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    Duh Did I....

    Okay, so I'm wondering if I texted this guy I've been interested in, way to fast. We've been going out on dates the last few weekends, and this past weekend we finally had sex. First time he got the job done, no problem. The 2nd time, which was after midnight, he was a 'no show' (in other words he couldn't get hard and if he did, he couldn't keep it). We gave up for the night and went to sleep. The next morning, I thought men were a gurantee in the a.m. so I just knew it was a no fail plan. WRONG. He, once again, struggled to get and stay hard. Jesus. So, he got around after we laid together for awhile, and at the door, as we were saying our good byes and kissing, ect, he got this look on his face that usually says he has a secret. He kind of laughed and I asked him "What?" and he said 'Nothing'. In which I asked said "No, What?" and he paused and then said 'I'm just having to be careful with what I say....' and I looked at him and said 'Oh...OH....Okay, I'm just gonna let that go for now....' and he stepped out the door. He called after he got home like he said he would, texted even later that night. Monday I texted him, he responded, and then nothing. Tuesday nothing. Wed a.m. I text him and he responds. He then asks if we're still on for the weekend. Why wouldn't we be? But I didn't say anything like that. Apparently we're still on for the weekend. Then, tonight he texted but stupid me, I turned around and impulsively responded with a text. It wasn't anything bad, but the timing certainly was. He didn't say anymore after that. So....now the question remains....Did I respond to fast even though it was pleasantries? Anyone?

  2. #2
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I....

    You are leaving out details of the texts, so it's a bit hard to answer. It seems he still likes you though, but I have a feeling whatever he's hiding isn't good. Are you sure he is single?
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    Default Re: Did I....

    I don't think a guy who wasn't single would go around acting like he has a big secret though, i would imagine most cheaters are not that dumb. I don't get why you are worried about responding too fast, whats wrong with that?

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    Default Re: Did I....

    Wow, women are crazy. None of this makes any sense. You're adding unnecessary details and leaving out important ones. What exactly do you want to get out of this thread?

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    Default Re: Did I....

    Okay, the text message was, as I said at the bottom of my posting, exchange of pleasantries. He said 'Good Evening Ma'am'. I responded 'Lol! Well....hello sir. Lol'. He is in the middle of getting divorced. I don't think it was anything bad that he was in reference to being careful what he says to me - I think he may have been short of saying three words that are intense feelings. He smiled and did the same thing when he admitted to having a crush on me. I had to push to find that out like I did this last time. But that's beside the point. I am more concerned about responding way to fast like I did last night. I mean, I did this under 10 seconds! Total impulse...reflex...whatever you wanna call it. After that he didn't say anything more. That's why I was concerned about it being way to fast a response.

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    Default Re: Did I....

    I'm pretty much 100% sure that if a guy is into you, responding immediately to his text message isn't going to make him not into you. He probably got busy or went to bed.

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I....

    WTF? If a guy doesn't like you anymore because you texted too fast...you need to raise your standards.

    I wouldn't assume his "I have to be careful what I say" line is secretly a depth of emotion...it's likely he's a) cheating or 2) not really getting divorced.

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    Default Re: Did I....

    I dunno. I don't really think he's messing around. I just don't get that vibe from him. Most times I do or I just know. I don't think that's the case. I mean, it was like our 2nd or 3rd date when he admitted to having a crush on me. Little fast but hey....he wants to have a crush, who am I to deny it?

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I....

    we arent in high school anymore... this shouldnt be an issue. and if you are in high school, you probably shouldnt be on this board.

    also, if he couldnt get it up, i would quit while you are ahead. i dealt with one guy who had that problem... FUCK THAT. i ended that quickly. i get men over 65 hard just by dancing for them, if some 20something yr old dude cant get it up when i want to fuck, then they are out the door.
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    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  11. #10
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I....

    There's a ton of reasons why he may not be able to get it up though. If he's not yet fully divorced he may feel like he's cheating even if he's really into you. Or he could be so into you that he's too nervous. He may also have health problems like diabetes.

    Either way, it sounds like he's into you. What you text him back was nothing bad.

    I would however confront him on the sex issue. Just tell him you know there's a number of reasons that can happen, but you wanted to know what the deal was with him that night so you can work through it.
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    Default Re: Did I....

    I've been getting that alot lately about the 'crush' thing. So what? It's just another way of being infatuated with someone. You get over crushes....hopefully, he won't with me lol, but if so, that's okay. And I'm well past highschool, just so you all know. Now, Kylea2, you spoke exactly what I've been thinking about this evening and even found myself doing some research tonight on - bookstores and on the computer. Now that things are getting back on track between he and I, I have been thinking about the whole erection thing. I've been told by some to drop him faster than a hot potato because of this. But I, like a few others, have considered it to be nerves, anxiety, or possibly, as you said, the fact that he isn't completely divorced yet and he's feeling guilty. That a.m. when we made our 3rd attempt and he was failing miserably, he said he just didn't have his head into it. Not sure what to make of that. He didn't contact me for 2 days - I had to initiate contact, which that's fine, no big deal, but it was out of the normal routine. Wed I finally made contact with him and even made him laugh so now it seems we're good now. Initially I was dreading this weekend. Now, I'm somewhat past that and thinking ahead to the dreaded conversation that I want to have with him about what happened down there with him. I just worry he's going to get pissed or even storm out, refusing to speak of it. I think we can rule out diabetes....I'm not sure if the military lets diabetics in or not. I'm thinking they don't but I could be wrong. He's still in the military as we speak. Anyway....yes, any other feedback on a lost erection would be good now that we can move on from the ridiculas panic attack I had. Jeez. What a wuss bag I am lol.
    Last edited by Baddabinggurl_80; 04-22-2010 at 09:54 PM. Reason: Needed to add a few things...

  13. #12
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I....

    As far as I know Diabetics can be in the military.

    I'd just talk to him and get it over with. If he won't talk then you don't need to be around him.
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  14. #13
    Senior Member xsomnambulist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I....

    ^ Diabetics can't join the military (without a waiver), and if the case is severe enough, they will be discharged if its developed while they're in.

    But yeah -- just talk to the guy. Us speculating here isn't really worth too much.



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    Default Re: Did I....

    Thanks All. Yeah, usually, with some sort of medical history of some sort you do need a waiver - thanks for chiming in on that. And you guys are right too - hiding out here isn't gonna get the problem taken care of. Guess I'll find out tomarrow when he shows up. Here's hoping that all goes well......Thanks again.

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