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Thread: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

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    Default How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    Ok,
    So I have been at my club for 3 weeks now. I've been doing ok, but not great. Hanging in there

    Well, I mostly keep to my self and have been nothing but polite to the other girls. Most don't really talk to me, a few do. However, there is this one who just has it out for me! She is a top earner, and a hustle shark. I've done NOTHING to her! So far she has moved my stuff in the dressing room and told me i was sitting in HER chair (no such thing), She's bumped into me on purpose, and last night she sat with a custie and she made fun of me while i was on stage! To make it worse, she kept talking to customers I was sitting with, just butting right in and shaking her butt around in front of them, or asking for dances while i sat there.

    So I've though about saying something to managment, but with this girl being a top earner, and me...well ...not, they would probably rather lose me than her. I'm just trying to stick it out, and I just try to ignore her, but i need some advice!!! I was almost in tears on stage while she was mocking me-it is hard to dance with people making fun of you.

    She also seems to have quite a few buddies there, and I don't yet. So I don't really have any backup, except for one girl who admits that she can't stand her attitude. HELP! What do you do?

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    God/dess Juliette25's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    No advise just

    Reminds me of fucking middle school. She must feel threatened by you in some way.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    Avoid, avoid, avoid. Do not do a thing to piss her off, but don't let her intimidate you. Just keep her outta your hair.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    If she's really a top earner, it's really pathetic of her to gang up on a Newbie like that. I'm thinking either 1) she feels threatened by you or 2) she's just a bitch. Probably a combination of the two. Usually the top earners mind their own business and work hard, and don't pay attention to other girls; if she's going out of her way to make your life difficult she's probably not doing as well as she says.

    I know it's difficult, but just ignore her. Next time you see her mocking you you while you're on stage, remind yourself that she's pathetic to mock other girls, must feel pretty fucking low to need to tease others to make herself feel better. This business isn't about making friends or enemy's - it's about making money; stick to your guns and keep making your own. Karma will get her! Lol!



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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    That is EXACTLY what this feels like, bullshit middleschool stuff. My best guess was that because I don't pay attention to her like the other dancers, it makes her upset? Regardless I'm just trying to keep my head above the water and stay out of the drama. I just don't want it to escalate, I'm not the type that likes confrontation.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    I would probably bring it up with the management. Just because she is a top earner doesn't mean they will be on her side.

    First I would feel out what the management is like. You never know they may choose her over you which would be a shame.

    I would just avoid her or if she starts talking to customers while you're sitting there and you feel comfortable saying it, just say "We're not finished talking." and leave it at that.

    She'll probably just make an ass out of herself and then you'll have due cause to bring it up with management. Just get up and walk over to the manager and let them know what's going on.

    Don't let people talk to you like that but be careful and don't get fired over it either. Don't let her bait you. Once you get emotional over it and start engaging her arguments it will be a slippery slope from there.

    You could just get up, not say anything and talk to another customer. Then go back later and ask the previous one if you two can pick up where you left off - without mentioning her.

    Always stay calm and don't take things personally.




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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    I'm sorry you're going through this . I just started at a new club and am kind of experiencing the same thing. Most of the girls ignore me and some give me dirty looks, snide remarks when I asked questions, and one even yelled at me.

    I try to get ready at home so that by the time I get to work I can just change quickly and get on the floor. I remind myself I'm here for the customers, not the girls, focus on making money and enjoying my time with the guys I'm entertaining. It is difficult when someone is going out of their way to harrass you, but ignoring it minimizes its significance at least to you, and I guess she will eventually give up, or waste her entire night focusing on you which can't be good for her money.

    If you can find at least one other girl who is nice that can make all the difference. I met 2 who are friendly and on the nights they work I feel a little less lonely and isolated. I dread going to work at this club bc I had really great relationships w the staff and dancers at my last one but the money is good so I'm trying to stick it out. Really hang in there and don't let it get to you! If you need to vent or talk anytime def PM me.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    Thanks Ladies for all the good advice. I will just try to remember that it is about the customers and $$ and not some petty rivalry. I'm not a chicken shit, but I see no point in engaging with someone that wants to play childish games. I will just keep being polite and ignoring her when possible!

    But I will visualize punching her in the face now and again

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    I'd talk to management about it.
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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    I would also talk to management.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    I'm glad you're being mature about it. Talking to management and ignoring her is probably the best bet. Once she sees that what she does/says has no effect on you, she'll most likely stop trying to bully you. She's looking for a reaction out of you. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you upset. Never let 'em see ya sweat.

    Personally, I don't do well in situations such as this. If she was riding my back, I'd begin with, "Tell me how my ass tastes," and the confrontation would all go downhill from there. lol This situation is pissing me off just reading about it. You in Dallas? Send her my way.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    I'd just tell her she's ugly. I'm kind of confrontational(unprofessional) though. If someone purposely bumped into me though I'd do it back harder. Just make sure everyone else likes you so that they won't believe her if she rats on you!!

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    Don't let her bully/intimidate you. Right after I got off the stage from doing your set and you noticed her mocking you, I would have immediately confronted her then...

    Me, personally, I'm confrontational and I would say something like... is there some sort of problem you have with me?? Because I would like to clear the air right now??? See what her response is... what's the worst thing that could happen, she tries to fight you? At least then maybe she put up or shut up and leave you alone....

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    obviously she's threatened by you if she is going out of her way to be a bitch. If somebody is hating on you, you're doing something right.
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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    Whatever happens, if she tries to act like your friend later on, don't be her friend back. Fuck that shit LOL.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    If you're going to confront her, don't do it on the floor. That will definetly get you fired. I would do it in in the DR and make sure there are plenty of people around to vouch for you.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    She sounds threatened! Woman are so evil regardless of where you work at, maybe you need to start talking to people at the club you may make a friend. And maybe start talking to her throw her a complement here and there hell kill her with kindness even if you dont feel like she deserves it. The more you complement others the better you feel.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    She can only get to you if you let her ... so don't let her. I agree with all the above that she's either threatened by you and/or is just being a bitch. Either that or she's just playing a "she's the big cat and your the little mouse" game with you. She'll probably get bored once she knows it's not bothering you.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    She must view you as competition. That's a good thing. Know that when you're on stage and she's mocking you. She's trying to make you trip up. Don't let her get you down. At the same time, keep your head down, do your job, make your money and go home. Don't cause problems and don't start shit. Eventually it will stop.
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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    I had some girl bullying me (not in a SC) and she would not let it go. She did it because she was jealous of me (I'm way skinnier than her and I'm dating a guy she likes). I just ignored it for a long time and it kept going. One day I confronted her and held very confident posture and tone the whole time. She completely backed down and played victim, now she doesn't even look at me.

    That's how bullies work. Most of the time they're all bark and no bite. Also, if shes making fun of you to costumers many of them will probably see through it and realize she's not that confident and it could affect her money. You should talk to other girls and see if anyone else has had problems with her.
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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    Well I'm seriously PMSing right now, and if that little girl causes drama tonight I will, in a very calm tone, tell her to stop acting like a toddler. Thank you ladies for all the advice.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    Quote Originally Posted by K Sweet View Post
    I had some girl bullying me (not in a SC) and she would not let it go. She did it because she was jealous of me (I'm way skinnier than her and I'm dating a guy she likes). I just ignored it for a long time and it kept going. One day I confronted her and held very confident posture and tone the whole time. She completely backed down and played victim, now she doesn't even look at me.

    That's how bullies work. Most of the time they're all bark and no bite. Also, if shes making fun of you to costumers many of them will probably see through it and realize she's not that confident and it could affect her money. You should talk to other girls and see if anyone else has had problems with her.
    Exactly! Bullies= All talk...no action...

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    I wouldn't go to management. Give management eanouph credit to know what is going on in the club. Don't go to management over talk, thats demeaning to yourself. If she ruins your clothing or puts her hands on you more then bumping into you, then go. Always know when to go to management, you don't want them to lable you as high maintanance or a whiner. If they ask you whats up, then spill the beans.
    Theres this saying that there is no such thing as bad press. Any story is a good story, because then the customers will want to come back next time and talk to you to find out the truth. She is doing you a favor, let her keep going. Next time she's by the stage and is talking shit to a customer, smile to him, blow a kiss, and wink. Mabe even say thats right, I'm that good.
    Watch your sholders, neck, and eye level when walking. Do you round your sholders, watch the ground, or hunch your neck down? Quit doing that if you do, it makes you a target. Also, don't hide behind your hair, always push it out of face.
    So, don't even think about it anymore, your there to make money, not friends.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    She may not be jealous and intimidated by you. I hate that everyone assumes that.

    Is your club slow at certain points? Do you spend a long time talking with customers before asking for dances? I'm a top earner and when I use to work at slower clubs, this was the number one thing that frustrated me with new dancers; not that I was intimidated by them but because they were wasting their time, my time, and the customers time. That doesn't condone talking shit of course but I can see where she's mean to you if you're one of these time-wasting dancers.

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    Default Re: How do I deal with a dancer that hates me?

    STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!! This is to you and all the other girls on this forum being "bullied" by other dancers!!

    This is YOUR work place, YOUR business...I'm not saying be rude to her, tell her politely that you do not appreciate her budding into your business. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF and let her know that you will not be disrepected, in a nice way. I'm referring to the her distracting your customers- THAT BITCH! She crossed the line! She can bully you and dislike you all she wants but fucking with your business is str8 up crossing the line. Don't let her mess with your income!!! And when you're on the stage and she's mocking you, who the fuck cares? She's obviously jealous of you, she's afraid of losing her title as a "top earner."

    If she continues, GO TO THE MANAGER!! You deserve respect as much as she does in that place, you can earn as much as she does at that place. DON'T LET SOMEONE WALK ALL OVER YOU!!!!!

    BESIDES, most "top earners" really AREN'T! Most of them lie about how much they make and most of them are simply ass kissers to management...I'll give you an example:

    We have a girl in my club with the title of the "top earner"...she is always seen selling bottles and going upstairs to VIP. Well, a friend of mine accompanied her one time, they sold a $650 bottle my friend negotiated an hourly rate of $500 when her guy, the guy who BOUGHT the bottle only gave her $300. And of course, she brags about how she made a grand that night.

    I'm pretty much saying that you deserve as much respect as the "top earners" of the club. They arent shit, they are strippers like you are, they dont hold magic powers, nor are they goddesses. You, yourself can build skills and selling techniques to earn as much as she does, or even more. So fuck her, this isnt a fucking playground. Don't let her feel uncomfortable in your own work place, she has NO RIGHT to treat you that way.

    Keep your eye on the prize without disrespecting others, if somethings in the way like that BITCH, push her out of the way. (not literally but deal with her)

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