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Thread: De-motivated?

  1. #1
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default De-motivated?

    Lazy? Quarter life crisis? Too many projects? Disillusioned? Depressed?

    I'm not sure what my problem is... I seem to start things I never finish. I'm really starting to get frustrated with dancing and the lack of income potential, and even though I have lots of ideas for additional income, I seem to procrastinate on all of them. I'm terrible about appointments and calling photographers and agents back. I lack the money to invest in websites or extensive travel right now. And dancing, at least in this area, isn't really paying well enough to save money.

    I'm a decent hustler, and I'm doing better than most girls out here... but when there's only a few customers on a saturday night, there's no one to hustle. I use the formulas and the 'psychology', I make eye contact, I assume the sale... hell I even have business cards. I invest in my appearance... hair, nails, tan, photoshoots, eyelashes, outfits. It would seem I'm doing everything by the book. I'm professional... I talk about the client, not my stupid drama. I flirt, I laugh at their jokes, and none of it seems to work.

    ...Maybe I'm just in a lull right now. I'm starting to think maybe I'm getting a little burnt out. Even the prospect of a photoshoot with a new photog doesn't really excite me anymore. A year ago, this hardly seemed like work... more like being a small-time rock star. Mind you, I still have fun meeting new people and learning pole tricks and stuff... I think it's purely a financial dissapointment thing. I guess when I first started dancing I had a lot of expectations that are still left unfulfilled.

    There are a lot of things I want to do in this industry... Feature, girl on girl films, camming, reality, modeling, more travel... but it seems like there are a lot of things out of reach. I guess I just want to be known, and to make money. And I feel like, as a model especially... I'm running out of time. Does anyone else feel like this? I just feel pipe dreams slipping through my fingers every day and have nightmares of being mediocre... But at the same time, I think deep down, I'm afraid of success. I get tons of offers for shoots and travel and sometimes I just forget to email back. I'm starting to think maybe it's manic depression.

    Anyway... That's just my rant of the day. I'm sure I'll have another one for tomorrow.
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  3. #2
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    If you are thinking about doing girl-on-girl my opinion would be to contact large production companies and do it! It sounds like you are frustrated from spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. Doing video could be a huge jump for you with almost immediate impact that you re-inspire you.
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  4. #3
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    My problem is finding companies on the East coast... and also I have a shit ton of tattoos so I'd like to do something like Burning Angel. They seem to have a lot of fun (I've watched their blooper reels and lots of interviews... I think Joanna really enjoys what she does!) It's especially hard to find somewhere in the Carolinas... stupid bible belt.

    I'm actually meeting with a guy next week about doing videos for a private collector. But that's not really what I want to do... I guess it's a step in the right direction though. I don't even know if it's legit or not yet, but we'll see.
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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    I'm going to say that just based on what you've said in the first post, I'd say to actually go out and talk to porn agents on the west coast with bigger companies. If you like Burning Angel then send them photos. One of my friends is a competitor to them, so I don't know much about them other than that.

    A lot of places outside of LA though aren't that big and I don't think you will get the recognition that it sounds like you want. If you want to do local "underground" type of work then do it... but it really sounds like you want something bigger.
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  6. #5
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    I've applied to Burning Angel before... never heard anything back. Maybe I should try to re-send my application.
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  7. #6
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    Exactly! Put it in front of them so many times that they have to answer you directly. If they say "no" ask why and if you could change something. If you are serious about it you may have to change part of your look. Just impress on them that you really like their company and want to be successful.
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  8. #7
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    BTW, if you ever come to Colorado I might be able to help you out to get your foot in the door with one of their competitors.
    Don't you ever sleep?
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  9. #8
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    The only other problem I have is I really only want to do solo or girl girl or fetish... not really wanting to sleep with any duders right now. But yeah, I'll reapply. I would LOVE to make it out to Colorado, but that may take some time.
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  10. #9
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    UPDATE: I just found out that the club I'm working at won't be around too much longer. It's sad because it's one of the nicer ones here. There are people who say extras girls don't affect our money. Well... when NO ONE comes to a clean club in favor of the ones that are fucking and sucking for pennies, you tell me how it doesn't affect my money. The only customers who come in ask for full service, then leave disappointed when they don't get it. I'm copying and pasting this in the banking in this economy thread, because YES extras does hurt MY money and I can prove it. We had all of two customers last night, and I walked out with 17 dollars.

    This club is nice, has some of the prettiest girls in the area and some of the sweetest too. The staff is awesome, and they have true private VIP rooms. It's an absolutely gorgeous club and I would hate to see it go, if it comes to that. And also, if it doesn't... I'm going to hate to say goodbye myself, because I can't keep driving an hour for nothing. I think it's coming time to hang up my high heels, at least until something changes.

    On the bright side... I got a request to do a girl's 21st birthday party soon. This might be a good foot in the door for PPs, and I feel comfortable knowing it's going to be for a girl, at least for my first PP.
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  11. #10
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    Congrats on the party! Sorry to hear about your club... sadly I think that clubs closing down or being shut down will become a growing trend as more girls become okay or accustomed to the idea of giving extras - which the government in most places won't put up with.
    Don't you ever sleep?
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  13. #11
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    Yeah I think it's time for a break from the clubs. It sucks because polework keeps me in great shape and until I get one of my own it's boring old sit ups and crunches and walking and such. Bleh.

    Thanks for all the advice. I think I just came into the industry at the wrong time, in the wrong place. Who knows, it could turn around. And I still want to model and do videos and stuff, but for now I'm going to slow down on the clubs and dance for fun, not single source of income.
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  14. #12
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    ^^^ Try pole classes or studios with "open pole".

    How long have you been dancing?
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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  15. #13
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    About a year... So yeah I got into it at the wrong time.

    I wish I had started when I was 18 like I wanted to. I guarantee I'd have some kind of education or something to show for it. The actual reason I got into it is... It's always something I've wanted to do but I had no support from anyone else. I mean, when I was younger my mom and a jealous ex-boyfriend pretty much ruined my modeling career. They made me feel like shit for modeling because of their hang ups, not mine. I was called a whore and a piece of shit and everything else, just for sitting in front of a camera.

    I started dancing last year because my boyfriend was supportive of it. I still get catty remarks from people, mostly his skanky ex girlfriends hahaha. But I simply don't care anymore.

    I think the nearest pole classes are like... an hour away! That's why I want to get my own.

    I told the owner last night I might not be back after my scheduled days. I swear I've never actually felt bad for a strip club owner, but they aren't making any money either. There were three dances sold last night. And probably about as many drinks... And from what I hear every other club in town was doing just as bad.

    On the bright side, I talked to my security/driver guy yesterday and I think we're both ready to dive into private parties. He has a lot of great ideas and wants to do everything as legal and legitimate as possible and we're talking about maybe turning it into an actual company with multiple girls if we have any success at it. Those details are still in the works, but I'm just glad to have a possible out besides fast food.
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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    ^^^ I'm happy to hear that you have a potential "out". If you need help with anything let me know.
    Don't you ever sleep?
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  17. #15
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    Thanks! Your're awesome!

    We have big plans for this, and I don't think we'll have much competition, except for one other company and probably a few local escorts, which is totally different... I mean I guess you could hire an escort to dance for you if you really wanted to. There are dozens of clubs and only one private dance company, so I think we can hit a whole new market!
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    Just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one who started at the wrong time. I hear ( at least once often more ) EVERY night I work ........ " man ..... you should have seen this place a year or two ago ..... the girls were BANKING " . I tell myself that there is some truth in it for sure, some myth ( how do the customers really know anyway ) , and just get on with it . ;(
    I hate hearing that though!
    I'm not sure if it's area related. I worked a different city a year or two ago and it was ok ..... but I've ALWAYS worked my guts out as a dancer ( the money has never seemed "easy " to me ).

  19. #17
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    True it's not easy money, and I think it's all over, but the south has gotten the brunt of things. I also did better in a stage tips environment where dancers weren't so dirty. Here in NC contact dances are the norm and are priced the same as normal dances everywhere else. Every club takes money out of your dances. Every. single. one. And a lot of jobs have been lost here recently, from JR Reynolds to Farming to Freightliner to the big city banks.

    I'm also thinking about taking a side trip to GA here soon. My license is still good and I have places to stay down there. The money isn't spectacular, but it's much much better than here.

    I think I'll be leaving NC clubs alone. Some of them are just ridiculous, and the ones that aren't ridiculous and dirty are on the verge of closing.

    I rarely take what customers say very seriously 'You need to go work at (insert name here) club, those girls make SOOOO much money. You're too good to work here". Well, that's all fine and well sir but I've worked at (insert name here) club and I HATED it and no one there was making jack shit and the customers were all rude drunk jackasses like you.
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    On the money issue, things go down each generation because there's more supply and less demand, and because so many people are used to this industry now. However, a few things have effected the industry badly that dancers in this generation can still recall:

    1.) When the corporate spending accounts in strip clubs were cut off - the "goodbye" to guys using their business credit cards.

    2.) 9/11... the aftermath was everyone and was heavily seen in the clubs when customers were afraid to spend much after stocks dropped drastically and so many lost their jobs.

    3.) The current recession. With so many people unemployed and others in debt, many facing foreclosure, the last thing on their minds is the clubs.


    However, there will always be people who have money... they may just have less of it. I listen closely to what line of work people say they are in. While many people are doing horrible, there are people in certain industries that benefit from economic hardship. For example, a few months ago a guy came into the club I was at who processed papers for home foreclosures. He was THRILLED that he had so much work... and he had plenty of money to spend.
    Don't you ever sleep?
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  21. #19
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    This is exactly why I loved working near a military base... there was plenty of dollars to go around and the men coming in were usually younger (less responsible with their money). It seems they were my target audience and I lost out big time when I moved.

    I have thought of taking a working vacay down to fort Bragg but I've heard bad things about the clubs there. Guess that's always up for personal interpretation... never know until ya try it.

    I see the evidence of people's unwillingness to spend every night at work. They act interested in buying rooms, champagne, or dances, then quickly revoke their offer.

    Where do you advertise for PP dancing? There's an agency here and I think it's legit, but after my ordeals with the clubs, I'd rather it just be me and my driver for now. Then maybe build up as an agency. I'm almost tempted to specialize in something like 'tattooed beauties' because the one or two agencies here don't have alt girls, but I'm not sure how that would go over.
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  22. #20
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    For me the biggest part of advertising so far has been having a website and then "following suit"... meaning that I've gone through and figured out where my competitors are advertising and started there.

    The website is huge though because they see your photos and really get a knack for your personality. This week I've had to turn down multiple calls where the guys were super disappointed because they couldn't book me, I was already booked. I try to refer them to other places, but they always say "We really like your pictures". It's like getting a total guilt trip from a stranger and so many of them wait until the very last minute for parties.

    If you can find a good agency you could start with an agency to get the hang of things.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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  23. #21
    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: De-motivated?

    Very true.^^ I could start with an agency.

    There's a local adult entertainment magazine that features dancers as centerfolds and has ads for pretty much every adult service...so I could go to them. Is craigslist a no no? I don't think I've ever seen any legit people on there. I'd have to start off with something less expensive than a site, but I want to eventually get one anyway.
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