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Thread: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

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    Arrow Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    This might belong in BB....?

    Basically I've always had problems with mood swings, even as a teenager. My mom even started taking me to a therapist when I was 14 for it. I was put on Zoloft, Concerta, and Clonapin. I don't really remember why they put me on these specific meds... and I don't remember if I was actually diagnosed as bi polar.

    So I turned 18 (I'm 24 now) and lost my medicaid so I stopped going to the dr and taking the meds. I don't know if it was the lack of meds, but I started drinking alot as a way to calm my anxiety down and turned into somewhat of an alcoholic. I drank and drank until I got pregnant (my son is a year old now). So the years before my son are kind of a drunken haze unfortunately (except for the relationship with my sons father...a long abusive relationship, I made a thread about it when I was here as 'LuckiCharm').

    So I went through the pregnancy and now I have my son, and I don't drink as much now. I have been with the man of my dreams (we have been friends for a few years) since my son was about 3 months old.

    So here's the point of the thread now that you have a little history... My mood swings are so drastic that my boyfriend actually sat me down last night and asked me if I've ever been diagnosed as bipolar. It could literally be something so small that sets me off. And when it happens, I know in my head that I'm way over reacting but at the same time, I can't control the anger, so in my head I'll be like, arguing with myself... if that makes sense. It's like an ongoing battle in my head and it's totally frustrating and I feel so bad for my boyfriend because he does nothing wrong, but I know I'm so hard to put up with sometimes.

    So I made an appointment at a regular family doctor for Tuesday because I was just gonna get some anti-anxiety meds, but do you think there might be more to it? Should I change to a phsycologist and see if I might be bi-polar? I really need advice or something because this could cost me my relationship!!!

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    if your general practitioner thinks you need to see a psychologist he will probably refer you to one, or you could just ask for a referral when you go see him

    the problem with medication is that some of them can turn you into a zombie and that can actually be worse than dealing with the disorder

    getting on the medication thats right for you can be a long, painful and annoying as hell process

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    Quote Originally Posted by teleron View Post
    if your general practitioner thinks you need to see a psychologist he will probably refer you to one, or you could just ask for a referral when you go see him

    the problem with medication is that some of them can turn you into a zombie and that can actually be worse than dealing with the disorder

    getting on the medication thats right for you can be a long, painful and annoying as hell process

    Yeah I've heard that too

    It's kinda a lose/lose situation if that's the case then, because this is slowly destroying my life so I was hoping someone has dealt with this before and could give me some advice first hand.

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    it could be borderline personality disorder if "little" things set you off. bipolar usually goes in cycles. and many people with bpd are misdiagnosed as being bipolar, so make sure you go to a really good psychiatrist if you decide to go.

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    I have the same problem

    Bipolar disorder runs in my family, though I've never sought treatment for it... My mood swings only come out when I'm in a relationship.

    I've been with the same man for almost a year now and he's absolutely wonderful! And so patient, thank God, because I empathize with what you are saying -- I know when I'm overreacting, but I argue with myself in my head and get myself more worked up -- over such small things!

    I started taking Wellbutrin as an anti-depressant about 2 months ago... It hasn't done much for the "swings"... But it helped me quit smoking cigarettes and curbed my appetite for alcohol?

    Anyway, we make it a point in our relationship to communicated eeeeeeverything to each other... I think it tires him sometimes to be honest, but I find my mood swings come in phases and since we've drawn attention to it I feel they are fewer and farther between at least?

    I think if you just make a conscious effort to notice every time you're starting to get irrationally angry, and then USE that consciousness to stop, it'll eventually stick... I find I just have to find the voice in my head that says "Whoa, your ego is out of CONTROLLL right now lady! Stop being so stubborn!"

    There's a common denominator in a lot of self help books that teaches "staying conscious" -- remember the facts of a situation and don't let yourself make up stories based on these facts. My problem comes from over-analyzing situations... it leads to bullshit fabrication -- We just have to stay conscious and remind ourselves that everyone is afflicted in life, this just happens to be our issue and we should derive power and peace of mind from staying conscious and trying to improve ourselves.

    Spirituality helps too... That's my struggle right now. I find it hard to enlighten my soul and seek a spiritual path amidst taking vodka shots and grinding on dicks every other day

    Life's a bitch ain't it?

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    it could be borderline personality disorder if "little" things set you off. bipolar usually goes in cycles. and many people with bpd are misdiagnosed as being bipolar, so make sure you go to a really good psychiatrist if you decide to go.
    That's a good point... my boyfriend had actually told me once that I'm totally BPD>>not bipolar. Had forgotten about that...

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    it could be borderline personality disorder if "little" things set you off. bipolar usually goes in cycles. and many people with bpd are misdiagnosed as being bipolar, so make sure you go to a really good psychiatrist if you decide to go.
    Wow, I didn't think of that either. So when I go to the doctor, what should I do? Should I maybe write down my symptoms? Cuz I have a few other things going on as well on top of the mood swings and anxiety.

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    I too was once diagnosed as bipolar. After I stayed out past curfew when i was 15 my parents sent me into a behavioral center. I was there inpatient for over a week. I saw the doctor ONE time. He diagnosed me based on what my parents said and not on my actual feelings or situation. They prescribed me; welbutrin, trileptol, rhisperidol and two others that I can't remember the name for.

    I go to a psychiatrist now, and according to him I should have never been diagnosed as such and never should have been put on such intense medications.

    I would suggest writing down an "Description of Self" basically how you feel during points of the day, what triggers or agitates you, how you feel internally while you're agitated and how long it takes you until you're feeling calm again.

    Being diagnosed with something inaccurate can make you feel bad, but it's the improper medications that will make you feel absolutely 1000x worse.

    I would seek the help of a doctor immediately.
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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    i'm bipolar and you should seek an experienced psychologist first. also, if you're only on an anti-depressant if you are bipolar it will send you into a manic episode...this is what happened to me, i thought i was only depressed and had high anxiety...but then i was in a complete manic state...i started seeing a therapist and about after a month he diagnosed me. i understand the whole relationship thing because before i was diagnosed i was experiencing intense mood swings. for some people who are bipolar these swings can last hours, days or weeks...depending on your diagnosis. also you can be depressed while manic, which is mixed mania (this is what i have, bipolar I with mixed mania)

    it's complicated and not the same for everyone. there's some threads about bipolar on here that kind of go into what different people experience. but i definitely never thought i was bipolar...but it did make sense once i was diagnosed and yeah getting the right meds and dosage is a bitch.
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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    find the best psych in your area. that's really all you can do. any good psych will be able to tell if you are borderline because lol half the shit you will be telling him won't be making any goddamn sense.
    the reason people get misdiagnosed with bipolar is because they tell a general practitioner "oh, i feel hyper sometimes and then i get the sads" and the doctor goes, "you sound depressed, take lexapro (or whatever prescription he/she is currently getting a kickback from). and you will take the meds and be like what the fuck, none of this works. and if your GP diagnoses you with bipolar and you are not, in fact, bipolar, the same thing is going to happen. you're going to be given a drug cocktail that is not correct for what you have, and you will be wondering what the fuck is going on.
    so it is worth the hunt (it really shouldn't be very difficult to find the best psychiatrist in town. usually they have some "Best Psychiatrist of 2010" award. go to that person. you can TELL when someone has borderline if you are a psychiatrist.
    again, if you were bipolar, it would be like a menstruation cycle. you would have a somewhat steady cycle of moods. if you are borderline, you would have times when you "snapped" out of nowhere. does that sound familiar to you? like, sometimes, you just simply don't have the mental capacity to deal with something that is actually not a big deal?

    again, don't self diagnose. it's worth the couple of hundred dollars to go to a psychiatrist and tell that doctor, hey, sometimes i feel like __________________ because you could simply have anxiety. and anxiety is not insignificant, as it can also make you "snap" at simple things, and blah blah blah i'm typing too much and losing my train of thought.

    honey, it could be a lot of things. i don't think you would need to write down your symptoms. i got diagnosed with bpd in like, 15 seconds lmao it's not a difficult thing for a trained shrink to notice


    Quote Originally Posted by PeachyQueen View Post
    Wow, I didn't think of that either. So when I go to the doctor, what should I do? Should I maybe write down my symptoms? Cuz I have a few other things going on as well on top of the mood swings and anxiety.

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    yes, RRL, that's exactly what i mean. if you're misdiagnosed, you're going to be given the wrong meds, and you're going to be a bigger mess than you already are (and i'm saying this as a self-proclaimed mess). my bff's mother has borderline but was misdiagnosed with bipolar so she sincerely believes she is bipolar even though she is clearly not. as a result, she is an enormous trainwreck. so it is so worth it to go to someone who knows what the fuck they are talking about and doesn't just like shouting "MA'AM YOU HAVE THE BIPOLAR"

    also, sometimes knowing more about your mental health helps A LOT. because you will be able to remind yourself that "HEY SELF, you know that sometimes you have feelings brought on by mental illness and that it is probably not necessary to break that window just because your laptop battery died" etc.

    why am i typing so much today? too much coffee.

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    yes, RRL, that's exactly what i mean. if you're misdiagnosed, you're going to be given the wrong meds, and you're going to be a bigger mess than you already are (and i'm saying this as a self-proclaimed mess). my bff's mother has borderline but was misdiagnosed with bipolar so she sincerely believes she is bipolar even though she is clearly not. as a result, she is an enormous trainwreck. so it is so worth it to go to someone who knows what the fuck they are talking about and doesn't just like shouting "MA'AM YOU HAVE THE BIPOLAR"

    also, sometimes knowing more about your mental health helps A LOT. because you will be able to remind yourself that "HEY SELF, you know that sometimes you have feelings brought on by mental illness and that it is probably not necessary to break that window just because your laptop battery died" etc.

    why am i typing so much today? too much coffee.
    this. is so true. when i first diagnosed i blamed everything on oh i'm in a depressed state or oh i'm happy i must be hypomanic. it's almost like a learning process of what is normal for you and to really understand your illness, whatever the diagnosis may be. everybody has a certain amount of anxiety, depression and mood swings but knowing what the disease is about and knowing what is normal for yourself is really really important. now that i've learned more about my illness i know oh, you know, i'm happy because i'm happy, or i'm anxious because i'm going through a stressful period. but at the same time when you aren't correctly managing your illness, all of those things are more intense and more compounded because of the illness. if that makes sense.

    with bipolar, it's like an extended period of time of a mood swing...like extremely happy, but it's not just the feeling of euphoria that goes with it, there's certain self-destructive behaviors that go with being manic. and with depression it's (at least for me) extreme...i'm very suicidal, i can't get out of bed for days, i sleep 16 hours a day, i self-medicate, etc.
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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    I would recommend going to see a Naturopathic Doctor if you have any legitimate professionals in your area. I am lucky enough to have a MD/ND psychiatrist in my area and it has changed my life.

    After years of medication I am 100% med free and completely functional. I am not cured, but I have an arsenal of tools to help me deal with this blessing/curse. Much of what I discuss with my doc surrounds diet, sleep, excercise, and meditation. We discovered I have some food allergies that were worsening my condition. Additionally, I have learned that if I do not get enough sleep my little monster will come out... without fail. Its not optional. Also, I cannot tout enough the benefits of yoga and meditation for bipolar. Breath work and visualization, along with the benefits of exercise are priceless. Its not one of those things that you can simply talk to someone about... but doing it first hand is the proof.

    To truly cope with this condition one must keep engaged. Educate yourself, take care of yourself.. and things will improve. It takes work, but its worth it. And I was intentional with calling this a blessing. Some of the greatest thinkers/artists in history were known to be bipolar.

    As a word of caution, if things are to the point where you are thinking of hurting yourself.. please seek professional help. I would not be here today if I hadn't made that choice myself. I cannot begin to express how thankful I am that I am still here. The medications and traditional psychiatrists helped to get me to this point. For some it may be a long term solution.. and others it is simply a stepping stone.

    Good luck in your journey!

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    ^this is also very true. medication can only take you so far, it helps with the extreme highs and lows but the middle has to be managed through, diet, exercise and doing healthy things for yourself. i personally, run 5 days a week and meditate as well as making sure i keep things organized (when my life was completely chaotic everything was disorganized and a mess) so i keep those a top priority because it helps my mentality to be more positive. all of these suggestions are great and reminder to myself in managing my disease. i hope to one day to be completely off medication but as of right now i need them, but if or when i choose to seek the option to go off medication, i know i will have to be more diligent in keeping myself healthy.

    i also thought it was interesting you brought up food allergies, because i used to not know i was gluten intolerant and read that gluten intolerance is linked to depression and anxiety so making sure i keep with a healthy diet (so i don't feel both physically or mentally sick) is really of top priority as well.
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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    don't take this the wrong way......... are all of us bipolar? lol, im just looking at all of us who said we were lol... ~i think our bfs can be quick to tell us on a bitchy day that we are bipolar. i've been called it too, but i'd rather just believe i was being a total bitch (and i knew i was) i'd wait for a professional to tell you what you have rather than an asshole bf looking to win a fight.

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    ^haha. yeah. we can't really diagnose you, unless one of us is a certified psychologist. i just know i am. and i have the hospitalizations to prove it. oh and all the crazy manic phases and the oh so wonderful things i did manic. oh and did i mention the times i was a complete hermit and my bedroom was basically my cave, sometimes i would venture out for food. cept my ex just thought i was crazy, he never thought i was bipolar. i was just some crazy bitch.
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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    jenn, i don't understand the question. i have a huge problem with disablist language, and the use of "bipolar" as an insult, which it isn't: it's a mental illness. if your boyfriend calls you bipolar when you have a bad day, you need a new boyfriend.
    the op presented a history of substance abuse and extreme mood changes, which could be just stress or a more serious mental illness, and she's not lots of (mostly) good advice here: to see a good psychiatrist and to learn about herself and how to take care of herself.
    what's the problem?

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    Awesome advice ladies, much thanks. I'm actually in the waiting room right now...I'd like to address a certain post right now but I'm on my Blackberry...ill have to get back to that one. Ha. So ill let you all know what happens!

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    we both know im NOT bipolar... he's just using it bc bitch isn't a big enough word. it's just like when i call him an asshole. He's a good guy and when we fight we understand that things are said that are just mean at the time. Some days me wanting to be a total bitch doesn't mean im bipolar, and i'm also not making light of any ones srs problems in this thread. sry if i offended any one : /

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    There are a number of things that could result in extreme mood swings... not just bipolar.
    But if it's causing an issue, you should definately go see a doctor about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    Quote Originally Posted by jennsweet View Post
    don't take this the wrong way......... are all of us bipolar? lol, im just looking at all of us who said we were lol... ~i think our bfs can be quick to tell us on a bitchy day that we are bipolar. i've been called it too, but i'd rather just believe i was being a total bitch (and i knew i was) i'd wait for a professional to tell you what you have rather than an asshole bf looking to win a fight.

    My boyfriend is NOT an asshole looking to win a fight. He didn't call me 'bipolar' in the middle of a fight like you made it sound. I had a massive mood swing (NOT being a bitch. Mood swing as in going into a wierd depressive mood for some random insignificant reason). Like I said in my OP, he sat me down and asked me about it because he just noticed that my mood literally goes up and down all the time and although it is causing strain on our relationship, he wasn't calling me out on being 'bitchy'. I really posted this because I wanted to hear from the girls who have been diagnosed with mood disorders. Because unless you have one, you really can't understand how it feels. Kinda just looking for someone to relate to me and give me constructive advice. I know you weren't trying to offend, I just wanted to clarify.

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    You guys were right about finding a good doctor to go to. I went to a family doctor the other day to atleast get something for my anxiety until I can find a good phsiciatrist (know I didn't spell that right ha). So after I explained how bad my anxiety is, like 2 other doctors come in and I'm sitting down while all of them are spitting questions out at me. So needless to say I started breaking out in this wierd anxiety rash and get dizzy and I'm thinking...'if I just explained to you how bad my anxiety is, why the hell are you guys standing there drilling questions at me?'. So anyway, I didn't get to tell them everything going on because they were asking me yes or no questions...then I got prescribed Citalopram and got a referral to their mental health facility. Sooo...I gotta find a good doctor. Anyone ever been on Citalopram before?

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    ^i know people have recommended a psychiatrist...but imo you really should see a psychologist, (someone who has a psyd or phd-they have do go through more education than a therapist that has a masters and have usually worked in a hospital) the reason i say go to them first rather won't spend as much time with you as a psychologist than a psychiatrist. so you can get a more accurate diagnosis. i say this because i did see a psychiatrist first and explained how i felt to the best i could and was just assumed to be depressed and have gad (which i still have).

    but after seeing a psychologist for awhile he was able to diagnose me properly.
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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    Ok...I tried the Citalopram last night. Not good :/ It says on the paper it came with that it's used to treat depression. Which is not what I need. I am not 'depressed'. So it said to take one before bed so I did, and like an hour later I was puking and shaking, and I literally tossed and turned all night. Could NOT fall asleep. My anxiety got so high it's crazy. So I'm waiting on a phsycologist to call me back and I'm not taking those fucking pills anymore. I don't know why she gave me an 'anti depressant' for my anxiety.

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    Default Re: Bi-polar...? *Kind Long*

    ^usually anti-depressants are for depression and are supposed to help with anxiety. but if you threw up i definitely wouldn't take them. and i think seeing a psychologist will be good so you have a diagnosis and then can go to a psychiatrist for meds, and a good psychologist will be knowledgeable on meds but can't prescribe them.
    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    If some baristas started giving blowjobs along with their lattes, those not willing to do that would have a hard time getting custom. Same. Deal.

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