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Thread: PTSD?

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    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Duh PTSD?

    Without going into too much detail, some pretty lame stuff happened in January. Came as a huge shock to me. I thought I got over it pretty well, but I really, really haven't. I may move this over to ladies only but I'll try it in here.

    Basically, my panic attacks used to be related to my social anxiety, when I was too overstimulated and there were too many people around. That was the only time I'd have them, and even then it was rare - since January, I've been getting them at home, alone. When I'm in bed trying to sleep. I've taken to begging my MOM to sleep over with me on the days my guy can't be there, because they only happen when I'm ALONE in bed. I have trouble falling asleep, so unless I'm exhausted to the point where I'll just pass out right away, I will, invariably, have a panic attack in bed. I don't have any problems with my bed, it doesn't happen in the morning, I just got a wonderful memory foam mattress etc.

    Okay, so the other thing worrying me - I can't stop thinking about what happened in January. I go over it all day long. What I should have said/done better. What I said/did wrong. What I could do now. What this is going to turn into, 10 years on. It's consuming my every thought. I dropped out of uni because I just can't work like this - my motivation comes in flashes of crazy mania where I'll decide I'm going to be superwoman and do a million different things and have all these ideas and then my excitement gets ragged and burns me out entirely and I can't function for a while.

    I feel so guilty that I, in my opinion, handled this so badly. I'm being such a jerk to my friends at the minute, too, and I hate it. I was out with them last night and one called me out on it, asking why I was being such a jerk. I of course, got really defensive and told him that when I say "I don't care", I'm being honest, and that he knows me well enough to know I'm not being an ass. No, I was being an ass, talking over people and just not giving a damn how rude I was last night. I was supposed to be out with the same people tonight, for steak and drinks, but I'm not up to it. I've barely left the house this year - it's just too intimidating.

    So what the fuck? A friend of mine is convinced I have PTSD, I think I'm just stressed out. I've been known to be rude and talk over my friends for years. I've had panic attacks before. I know it's worse, waaaay worse, but it's not unheard of for me to do these things. I dunno. It would take forever for me to get tested, should I even bother? Bluhh. Tempted to delete this.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: PTSD?

    I had it after being assaulted by my boyfriend. First thing first, seek out a psychiatric professional who has experience with PTSD. Its a popular speciality in the industry. Setup a meeting. In the US, many good shrinks don't work with insurance, they only take cash. But many will work on a sliding scale if you are in need.

    They can help you get the proper dosage of medication, and help find you ongoing cognitive therapy. Good luck. Oh, FYI, my PTSD lasted me about 6 months, so yours may be over soon too. Its different for everyone though.

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    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: PTSD?

    ^Aha, my mother has been trying to get me into cognitive behavioural therapy for a while, would that be a good idea then? I can get referred to a psychotherapist pretty easily, would a psychiatric professional be a better choice than a psychologist? I've been researching milnacipran, but at this point I'll take whatever they give me.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: PTSD?

    I dont know what happened to you, but I've had symptoms of PTSD for the last cpl weeks since my baby (dog) was run over and killed in front of me. I took the new foster dog out for a short walk last night for the first time(I've had him a cpl days, but he's been VERY sick..I picked him up from the vets office where he'd been for at least a week, so he's been too weak for walks up til last night) and had to have my husband come with me. Even then I felt a panic attack coming on as soon as we started walking. I could barely breathe, my heart was racing and felt like there was an anvil on my chest at the same time....I kept waiting to see the headlights of that fucking drunk driver come up on the grass towards me again. I kept seeing my babys limp body in the grass.

    I feel like a therapist would see me as lame though for having PTSD over a dog instead of like..a war vet or something. So I havent looked into it. But I know how you feel.

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    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: PTSD?

    Any therapist that'd judge you like that sucks major balls IMO - but I know exactly what you mean. Ostensibly, all I did was argue with someone.* So I feel like I wouldn't be taken too seriously - but I know therapists aren't really allowed to be like "Well that's dumb, get over it!"


    *About finding out what they did to me behind my back, ripping my family apart, and undoing a decade of therapy and self-help.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: PTSD?

    I think a psychiatrist would be good to prescribe you medication. Some will talk with you a while, and some will not. Those are preliminary questions you can ask when making the appointment. Medication helped me out a lot.

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    Default Re: PTSD?

    I would also seek the help of medication. I had wanted to post a Thread on here about types of medication, what you personally use them for and how they affect you.

    But let me tell you something from the bottom of my heart; medication WILL help you.
    But be prepared to feel worse before you feel better. You'll have days when you're adjusting to the meds where you'll be so exhausted you can't get out of bed, you can't focus, you can't function and you'll psychically feel 100x worse than before you started them. But it's worth putting up with because it the long run they really do help you mentally.
    There is no life I know
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    Moderator Miss_McKenna's Avatar
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    Default Re: PTSD?

    I haz PTSD... I'm sorry you're going through that stuff hun, I know how much it sucks. I think you need both a psychiatrist and a therapist... I've had PSTD for years (I have the chronic type) and in all my experience, the therapist is the one who helps you get over it, and the psychiatrist is the one you see every now and then so he can keep you on meds that keep you going until the therapist has gotten somewhere. There's some great meds out there but unless you get some therapy and work through it, you'll fall apart as soon as you come off the meds. I was on meds and in therapy, and with the help of my therapist I got to a place where I didn't need the meds anymore. Also, I got my therapist free and I had quite a few options from various free clinics and women's centers etc, so that could be an option if you want to look into it

    Added: I know everyone is different in terms of meds, but Cymbalta was a really popular choice for PTSD among docs I saw and I got put on it - it practically ruined my life for a while with insane side-effects.... if a doc tries to put you on that, research the H out of it first!
    Last edited by Miss_McKenna; 05-08-2010 at 11:52 PM. Reason: crappy cymbalta


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    Default Re: PTSD?

    i also have ptsd. at this point in my life, i am happily (and recently) off medication, and out of therapy, although i do have a monthly "check in" with my psychiatrist to make sure it's all going well. it took a lot of time, a lot of love (from immediate family, my boyfriend, and a select few super close friends), a lot of therapy and trying different medications, plus extracurriculars (ie yoga, walks, making jewelry, my pets, lol!) to get where i am now. it sucks to go through something so terrible that leaves you with ptsd, so no advice really from me, except do what you believe will ultimately be helpful to you (if that's therapy and meds, DO IT!) and lots of hugs in suppport.

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    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: PTSD?

    Augh, this website is full of such wonderful people!

    For those who sent PMs - thank you so much. For those above me ^ holy shit you guys are so leet. Whew. I have to go to the dentist on Thursday so I'll make an appt. at my GP down the street then, and steel myself for another "hai guise can i haz therapies plz?" session.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

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    Default Re: PTSD?

    I am definitely in favor of therapy when someone is experiencing stress or pain in life, if they feel something is not right within or they just feel overwhelmed. I think the stigma around therapy is gone for the most part and people don't think your "crazy" for it or anything. Finding a good therapist is the hard part. I have seen a few and some ARE judgemental and some really don't listen to what you have to say or try to help.
    I also believe in meds. If not forever, but for a short period of time until you work through issues and can live life healthily and happily without them.
    I have some ptsd because of my alcohol and drug addictions and things that occured during that time (a lot of time and a lot of situations!) and I had/have quite a few things to work through. I began seeing someone and have an rx to help get me through the bad stuff and heal. Eventually I will be off the meds and will have a better handle on things. But for a while, this is what I am doing to become a mentally healthier person.
    To each their own but I 100% recommend seeking help if you feel out of control or lost. Better that then taking it out on yourself or others!
    Good luck girl!! Do what you need to do to make you the best person you can be. Life is beautiful and it sucks missing out on it because of internal issues that could be worked on with help of others.

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    Default Re: PTSD?

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    I dont know what happened to you, but I've had symptoms of PTSD for the last cpl weeks since my baby (dog) was run over and killed in front of me. I took the new foster dog out for a short walk last night for the first time(I've had him a cpl days, but he's been VERY sick..I picked him up from the vets office where he'd been for at least a week, so he's been too weak for walks up til last night) and had to have my husband come with me. Even then I felt a panic attack coming on as soon as we started walking. I could barely breathe, my heart was racing and felt like there was an anvil on my chest at the same time....I kept waiting to see the headlights of that fucking drunk driver come up on the grass towards me again. I kept seeing my babys limp body in the grass.

    I feel like a therapist would see me as lame though for having PTSD over a dog instead of like..a war vet or something. So I havent looked into it. But I know how you feel.
    A therapist will not think you are lame. They see it all. People who are fucked up for a lot smaller issues than what you went through.

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    Default Re: PTSD?

    my personal belief is that psychiatrist is there to prescribe medication, i've never been to a psychiatrist that saw me for more than 20 minutes. but i see a psychologist, and does cognitive therapy, changing the way i think about things. sometimes i don't even realize it in session but after months of seeing him i'm really starting to things differently. my therapist is sort of a hard ass (very straight forward-can't really explain it) though, but it's i need to deal with my issues, which of course are different than others. the point of a therapist is not to tell you what to do but help guide you to see things in a different light and definitely not to judge, and guide you to make better decisions on your own.

    and ckxxx, don't be afraid to see a psychologist, a good one will not belittle what happened to you because what did happen was very traumatic and they can help guide you through coping mechanisms. it's not their job to judge, otherwise they aren't a good therapist. my therapist knows i strip and has never said anything negative or discouraged me from doing it. when most of the population judge the industry, he didn't. my issue is finding my identity and letting go of my childish behavior. as long as i stay sober he said there's nothing wrong with stripping, that it's a perfectly legal industry and i shouldn't feel shame in doing it. i use that as an example because he helps work me through my own thoughts and feelings on certain issues and reaffirms things for me.
    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
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