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Thread: Looking to become a dominatrix

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    Member stormfaery5's Avatar
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    Default Looking to become a dominatrix

    I've been experimenting with different lines of adult work while I'm in school, and becoming a dominatrix seems like something that I might enjoy and a good way to make $$ to get through college. Can any one give me any info about this line of work or refer me to a thread that already covered this?

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    You might want to see if there are any doms in your area that you can intern with.
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Yup. A good place to start is by tracking down the local bdsm community.
    It's not really like there's a school to learn the trade... so you have to go in and find someone who'd like to teach you.

    There's almost always work for hot girls in that area, though.
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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    True.^ Are you wanting to do distance Dom or IRL (In real life) sessions?

    Be prepared to deal with some crazy shit.

    And most of all, have fun. It's a very liberating/fun thing to do, but also very psychologically tolling. (Being dominant that is... it takes a lot of mental energy to train/control someone.)

    Oh and don't let your Domme personality take over your vanilla life toooo much. I started having power struggles with my boyfriend because we're both dominant personalities and I couldn't get out of bratty princess mode after sessions.
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    subscribing to this thread because im considering getting into this over the summer and was actually considering starting a similar thread last night
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Veteran Member bluexxxtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    the femdomme society link in my signature has a ton and i mean a ton of info on being a dominatrix, learning everything about the life. dominatrix training school, sub training school which is free for dominatrix just pick that when sigining up. and its free. you also can search for doms in your area
    still here.... just in another chapter..

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    I would so be into doing this... if I could keep a straight face. All the guys I've ever been with were totally against it though... total bummer.

    The other thing though, even though in Denver many people do domination - most of what they do is illegal - including spanking if the customer becomes aroused by it.
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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Yes you do have to be careful as to what your state laws are. In some places it can be considered prostitution or even abuse. As a newbie your best bet is probably in an established dungeon where they know the limits.

    Or, alternatively:

    You can also do Domme/sub/fetish video work. Spanking videos pay well, but if you dance make sure they pay enough so you can take off work until the whelps go down. I'm thinking of doing this soon because I have a high pain tolerance. Also there is foot fetish, face sitting, wrestling, victory poses, jeans fetish, pedal pumping, Giantess... there are a lot of fetishes out there that pay well and you don't even have to be nude for many of them.

    Have you considered financial Domming?
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    ^^^ One of my friends is an actress and does spanking videos. One a week - she said she there for like 3 hours... probably less than 10 minutes of actual spanking and she makes about $500 per week. Not bad if you can handle 10 minutes of pain.
    Don't you ever sleep?
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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Yeah.... and a lot of companies pay more for more pain/whelps.

    I've been through some intense spanking sessions along with play piercing and violet wands. And I didn't even get paid to do any of that!

    In any case... there's a huge market for fetish out there, you just gotta make it work! More people are into this stuff than you think...

    Oh and keeping a straight face isn't always necessary... guys like it when you laugh at them being humiliated.
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath
    Yup. A good place to start is by tracking down the local bdsm community.
    It's not really like there's a school to learn the trade... so you have to go in and find someone who'd like to teach you.

    There's almost always work for hot girls in that area, though.
    i think i can figure out how to track down the BDSM community. How do you get someone to train you though? Thats a mystery to me. I wouldnt even know how to approach a pro domme to ask. I know i wouldnt want to be training my competition unless i was getting paid handsomely.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluexxxtasy View Post
    the femdomme society link in my signature has a ton and i mean a ton of info on being a dominatrix, learning everything about the life. dominatrix training school, sub training school which is free for dominatrix just pick that when sigining up. and its free. you also can search for doms in your area
    Thanks for the links. Is this where you learned to do the dom stuff?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    I would so be into doing this... if I could keep a straight face. All the guys I've ever been with were totally against it though... total bummer.
    hah, mistress athena shows no mercy. i will laugh at any scumbag who deserves it.

    fortunately, B will be ok with it. i mean i havent discussed it with him, but im pretty sure he will be ok with it. i think he is ok with anything as long as im not hooking up with other people.

    Quote Originally Posted by Harleigh HellKat View Post
    Spanking videos pay well, but if you dance make sure they pay enough so you can take off work until the whelps go down.
    where do you find sites for spanking videos?
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    I'll have to find one of the sites I've found before. I think they pay between 500-1500 depending on your pain tolerance.
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    Senior Member lovelife's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    @Harleigh HellKat: I would also be interested in knowing about those spanking/fetish videos.. sounds like something I might be able to do to make some extra money.

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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    I can't find the ones I've found before... still looking though.

    Ah found one! http://www.bottommarks.com/spanking-galleries.htm

    Yayyy!

    Ummm that's in the UK I guess....
    Last edited by Harleigh HellKat; 05-12-2010 at 09:00 PM. Reason: Didn't know site was British...
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    Veteran Member bluexxxtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Yes. I used to do like financial domination or folks kept begging me to do it...and i saw the adds on craigslist so i thought if i was going to do it might as well go about it the right way...dont want to fuck any1 up so my friend told me about the site..
    it has great info from how subs are supposed to act,approach you ect on down to hand signals that u use to ur sub, worksheets for creating ur own house rules, contracts ect..


    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    i think i can figure out how to track down the BDSM community. How do you get someone to train you though? Thats a mystery to me. I wouldnt even know how to approach a pro domme to ask. I know i wouldnt want to be training my competition unless i was getting paid handsomely.


    Thanks for the links. Is this where you learned to do the dom stuff?


    hah, mistress athena shows no mercy. i will laugh at any scumbag who deserves it.

    fortunately, B will be ok with it. i mean i havent discussed it with him, but im pretty sure he will be ok with it. i think he is ok with anything as long as im not hooking up with other people.


    where do you find sites for spanking videos?
    still here.... just in another chapter..

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    Veteran Member Lexi_Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Quote Originally Posted by bluexxxtasy View Post
    the femdomme society link in my signature has a ton and i mean a ton of info on being a dominatrix, learning everything about the life. dominatrix training school, sub training school which is free for dominatrix just pick that when sigining up. and its free. you also can search for doms in your area
    Hm, I get a MySQL error when I try to sign up. I'll have to try again later.

    I doubt it's something I could do, but I'd love to learn more about HOW to do it for fun

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    Veteran Member fast tan77's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Check out fetlife.com. Its like facebook for the kink-bdsm community. Its pretty good actually and its broken down by state-city. Lots a dom's and sub's and everything inbetween.
    I can do better than you in a two bit fancy house

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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Oooh yes I am on there.
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    Member CleoF9's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    I'm also thinking about it and am gonna start with a dungeon. There's some interesting info on the maxfisch site, and here's an old thread that was helpful http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=91399

    Only thing is in that last thread someone said there's not a lot of money in it? I guess it's an old thread, plus depends on location, whether you're independent etc but anyone got an opinion on that? More or less than dancing? Seems like good money especially as a sub but that's not for me

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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Great thread!
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    God/dess Harleigh HellKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    as far as money goes, you can charge a lot per hour, but its a very specialized thing to offer... thats why its best to have a website that's fetish oriented so you have further reach.
    On my way to being the Bitch Goddess of your dreams... or nightmares.

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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    I did it for a bit over the summer and this is what I learned:

    Always start with a dungeon, shadow someone who has regular clients and most importantly someone who can show you the ropes. Its not just about name calling and kicking the crap outta guys (although it is a perk lol), there is A LOT that goes into it.

    Ie. getting into the role. Can you be convincingly be mean to someone when they have done nothing to you? I strugged with that as I'm a really friendy person.

    Its all about fantasy - whips, props, spanking, finding out what he likes, what he may like if you experiment, keeping him entertained and running with it. They book for an hour, so thats an hour of storytime that you have to come up with ahead of time, maintain, and execute.

    Also where I worked, men are allowed to release at the end. You had to watch and clean up afterwards (not a mess if you prepare ahead of time) but there are messy parts to it that you will be asked to do and may or may not be willing to do. naturally, the more you're willing to do (golden showers, etc) the more you are valued and the more you will make. Every place is different with rules though.

    At my dungeon, seriously 75% of men had a dildo training fetish. They wanted it in their mouth or in their rears. It was explained that they don't feel so conflicted about their desires if they have a dildo attached to a pretty girl giving it to them. I had to get over that real quick.

    Also there is a ton to learn about building up to high pain tolerances (warming up skin, taking them to the edge, backing off, trying out new things).

    this book is great and will preview everything you need to know:


    Also watch this movie, its a preview into a dungeon:


    And finally, it takes a while to build up experience and knowledge and you may not make that much money to begin with while you're learning. Once you're comfortable you will get a regular base and make bank accordingly.

    I was best as a sub - I did work for various spanking, bondage, damsel in distress, torture videos. You need to have a high pain tolerance and be ok with being comfortable, but you can make pretty good right away doing these.

    Be aware that anything anyone videos will end up on the internet and may get linked back to you. Its happened to me. And make sure you are compensated accordingly, at LEAST 100 an hour because these guys are selling them for $$$$$$

    PM with questions, thanks!

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    Member stormfaery5's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Thanks everyone with all the info!! I had to talk to my boyfriend about it first but he seems 'ok' with the idea. I don't think I could get into the dildo stuff.. hmm. I'll have to look into the laws in PA because i think something like that might be considered prostitution. I know theres a gray area when it comes to the law with this kind of work so I will have to research and be careful. Thanks for all the great links!! Research research research.. But you girls always give me a great place to start! Thanks again!

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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Quote Originally Posted by bluexxxtasy View Post
    the femdomme society link in my signature has a ton and i mean a ton of info on being a dominatrix, learning everything about the life. dominatrix training school, sub training school which is free for dominatrix just pick that when sigining up. and its free. you also can search for doms in your area
    Thanks for the link! I signed up and used your ID # as a reference since it said you get points or something for that.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Looking to become a dominatrix

    Dom school.... Learn something new on SW everyday. Always thought that Dom was something you just were.

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