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Thread: Leading Him On

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    Default Leading Him On

    Its a customer from my club...nice guy tips well for no reason (i dont have to dance for him or anything just talk to him and he gives 1 to 2 hundred easily) but anyway he's interested in being in a relationship.

    I have no interest in it at all. he doesnt ask for too much in this "relationship" except a conversation here and there and lives like 2 hours away so the only time i would see him is when he came in the club...
    i was tlkin to our most experienced stripper (shes amazing she has so many regulars she doesnt even go on stage they just pay to sit with her all night...man i wish that was me)

    and her words were "lead him on make him think thats what you would like to, and if asks to see you make an excuse about how tired you are or something has come up unless you feel comfortable meeting with him outside the club...customers cannot and most likely will not last forever...but this is your job, keep your cash flow coming in from every available source for as long as its available."

    so my question to you ladies is do i lead him on? what do you think?


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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    This is one of those borderline "could lead to trouble" situations. You should check the laws in your area - that would answer a lot of it. If it's illegal to agree to meet outside of the club then saying that you are interested could get you into trouble if he's not who he claims to be.

    On the other hand, if he comes in enough that everyone knows him then he's probably a regular guy - in which case it's a moral decision you have to make for yourself.

    Personally, my answer to things like this has always been "I really like you, but I can't meet you outside of work."
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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    This is one of those borderline "could lead to trouble" situations. You should check the laws in your area - that would answer a lot of it. If it's illegal to agree to meet outside of the club then saying that you are interested could get you into trouble if he's not who he claims to be.

    On the other hand, if he comes in enough that everyone knows him then he's probably a regular guy - in which case it's a moral decision you have to make for yourself.

    Personally, my answer to things like this has always been "I really like you, but I can't meet you outside of work."
    I always tried to use that one, but they will find and answer and a way around everything. "Oh come on, how is anybody gonna know?" Then sit and argue with me about how they "Promise I won't get in trouble" I only have so much energy to keep going back and forth with it, so usually they will move on unless they get a definite "Yes" that I will meet them OTC.

    I am constantly on the hunt for something that will work for me. I am starting to see a trend at my club, that the girls there who make the real $$$ all currently have a handful of guys they have been stringing along. One girl I know had $2000 pulled out of a bank account for her....and she never has any intention of seeing the guy OTC. WOW. Her answer when we were all asking "How'd ya do it" She said "Easy, I just keep him thinking that we are gonna get together eventually" HUH? EASY? Not for me.....
    I have asked for advice before, what they do and say.....and it's all stuff I have tried but it hasn't worked for me. It's frustrating, it's like, WHY can these girls use these excuses and never get asked questions....and the guys just keep coming in and spending money.....but when I do it, they always have an answer or find away around it, then it's done. Grr.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    Isn't that the entire point of a strip club? The guy gets to fantasize that he might actually have a chance with a beautiful woman? I don't see anything wrong with continuing that fantasy. As long as you don't outright lie to him, it seems within moral boundaries.

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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    moral boundaries.
    To me, telling them you'll meet them outside when you have no intention of doing so is either a black or grey area... certainly not a "white" area though in terms of morality.

    If you like the guy and you say that - there's nothing wrong with that.

    Guys will always try to push your buttons to go out with them. I don't give in and I'm pretty upfront about it. It's against the law, it's bad business with my club etc. I will also turn it around and say "there's always a chance people will find out, and you wouldn't want me to lose my job... would you?".
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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    ^ Hence the reason why I draw the line at lying.

    I personally rarely use this technique. But it can really pay off. And I think the SC is all about fantasy anyway, so I don't see any harm in a bit of leading the guy on.

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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    ^^^ You already know how I feel about the laws. In my area, if that were a cop posing as a customer and you agreed to meet outside or said you would at some point... they'd bust you (ticket)- and you'd be fired. That's another reason why I said she should check her laws.
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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    ^ And I would never say those things anyway. Those would be categorized as lies in my book.

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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    ^^^ So if you were in her shoes, what would you say? Before it sounded like you were saying it was okay to lead him on that you would/might meet him OTC because it was "part of the fantasy".
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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    ^^^ So if you were in her shoes, what would you say? Before it sounded like you were saying it was okay to lead him on that you would/might meet him OTC because it was "part of the fantasy".
    Ummm.. anything else? "Let's get to know each other here first." "Let's have fun right now, get to know each other, and see where it goes." etc.

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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    I'd still put what you're saying in the "grey" area legally speaking.
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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    Quote Originally Posted by Jazelle View Post
    and her words were "lead him on make him think thats what you would like to, and if asks to see you make an excuse about how tired you are or something has come up unless you feel comfortable meeting with him outside the club...customers cannot and most likely will not last forever...but this is your job, keep your cash flow coming in from every available source for as long as its available."
    Dancers like that turn my stomach! I don't care how much $$ she or other dancers like her are making. For me, it's NOT ok.

    Sure we're there to make money but to lie, lead a guy on, etc to make money IMHO is WRONG. Right is right. Wrong is wrong. It's as simple as that.

    I'm an entertainer. I give a hell of a LD. I talk up a storm. Laugh my ass off. And have a good time w/ my custy. That's how I earn my $$.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jazelle View Post
    so my question to you ladies is do i lead him on? what do you think?
    My personal opinion is NO.


    Of course every person is able to live w/ themselves differently than others. What ever a person does as long as they can look at themselves in the mirror and be ok ... morals, values, integrity intact ... then it's all good. It all comes down to personal judgment of oneself.

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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    Quote Originally Posted by keiraire View Post
    After he has been coming in and asking to see you OTC for a while, you could ask him to tell you what you would do outside the club, share some of your interests (real or fake, doesn't really matter), and come up with a date together. Don't go on this date!!! Keep him wanting more, but while he fantasizes about what you two could do together, encourage him. Say things like "that sounds amazing" "I would love to do that" etc.

    A more elaborate version of this would be for him to describe a vacation the two of you could take, where he would sweep you away from the club and the two of you would be together for more than a day or two. If you do this well enough, the question of making it a reality won't even come up. If it does, excuses are your friend!! You need to get to know them better, you've never met anyone outside the club before and the fact that you're even considering it with him makes him really special, you wish you could take that vacation but you're such a hard worker/student/so busy saving up for school/your own business/bills/etc.!!

    I think it's dangerous - not just legally - to tell a customer that you will 100% meet him and then blow him off. Stringing him along with encouragement and fantasy will get you more money longer, in my experience. At the very least, eventually, it will lead to bitterness toward you, and possibly the club, which won't do you any good. If he is absolutely insistent that the two of you meet, you may have to be honest, but if you've done a good enough job with your excuses, it shouldn't be difficult to let him down easy, e.g. "I thought I would be ready for us to meet outside of here, but I'm honestly not. You can tell I care about you, can't you? I would love to see you, but I think we're going to have to keep our relationship in this club."
    This seems like profitable advice, but I just can't see myself doing this. It still seems like lying to me, since I already know that I have absolutely no intention of ever dating a customer.

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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    I am 100% against it. I feel like it's part of the reason customers are defensive and don't take our jobs seriously. They see us as scam artists. Girls leading guys on and/or actually dating them is a contributing factor.

    So I say, no.

    Then again, I'm sure I lost a lot of money because of my refusal/inability to do this. I switched to cocktail waitress a few weeks ago because I just felt like there was no decent money for me in dancing anymore, UNLESS I chose to "do extra" or pretend like I was going to "do extra".

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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    I'm with Charlie61. I'm never the one to introduce the idea of the possibility of meeting OTC, and I tell cheap custies straight up that I don't do that. I'll just come out and say "I'm not that type of girl, sorry".

    But the ones who are spending big bucks or frequent VIP custies, I'm intentionally vague about it. I'll say something like "well you never know, but I'd have to get to know you REALLY well in here first / I'd have to be REALLY comfortable with a person to consider that / I think we should spend a lot of time together in the club first, so we can both know each other well..." etc.


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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_McKenna View Post
    I'm with Charlie61. I'm never the one to introduce the idea of the possibility of meeting OTC, and I tell cheap custies straight up that I don't do that. I'll just come out and say "I'm not that type of girl, sorry".

    But the ones who are spending big bucks or frequent VIP custies, I'm intentionally vague about it. I'll say something like "well you never know, but I'd have to get to know you REALLY well in here first / I'd have to be REALLY comfortable with a person to consider that / I think we should spend a lot of time together in the club first, so we can both know each other well..." etc.
    Exactly my thoughts.

    Sorry if it sounds cruel, but honestly, it's hard to pass up thousands of dollars of easy money. As long as I'm not overtly lying, I'm comfortable with this strategy.

    One of the reasons stripping is so lucrative is that the clubs offer a fantasy world in which women create fantasies for the pleasure of the customers...which includes the illusion that we're interested in our customers. How is this faux-interest so much more moral than implying that they might have a chance with us? It all seems pretty much like the same thing to me.

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    Default Re: Leading Him On

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_McKenna View Post
    But the ones who are spending big bucks or frequent VIP custies, I'm intentionally vague about it. I'll say something like "well you never know, but I'd have to get to know you REALLY well in here first / I'd have to be REALLY comfortable with a person to consider that / I think we should spend a lot of time together in the club first, so we can both know each other well..." etc.
    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    One of the reasons stripping is so lucrative is that the clubs offer a fantasy world in which women create fantasies for the pleasure of the customers...which includes the illusion that we're interested in our customers. How is this faux-interest so much more moral than implying that they might have a chance with us? It all seems pretty much like the same thing to me.
    I agree with both of these completely. I don't know that I would say something like "Once I see you [specific number of times] than yes." But I have said "I think you're rushing things sweetie... why don't get to know each other for a while before we make any big decisions?" Or soemthing more eloquent but still to that effect. I will NEVER EVER promise a meet since I know I'd never follow through, but I think letting the fantasy play out is what guys are there for...

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