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Thread: Anger Management

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    Thumbs up Anger Management

    Hi Ladies,

    Hope y'all had a good weekend!

    I haven't been on here in about a week or so and was just perusing some of the threads this morning b/c I've missed it. I ran across one in particular that has inspired this thread.

    The aforementioned thread has to do with the OP's opinion of girls she deems too big, ugly, old to dance in her club. I get her point to a certain extent (like when girls that aren't so hot complain all the time about how they aren't making money, creating a cloud of negativity until I excuse myself (politely!) from their company) but mostly, I agree with all of the people who responded; I think she ought to mind her own business and focus on her body, money, and attitude.

    My thread isn't about her, though. It's about the posters who responded. While (I think) everyone disagreed with her, no one came out ranting and raving against her, despite some being quite offended. I applaud that. It makes me think about how we are regularly faced with rude people, mean-spirited people, and simply opinionated people we don't agree with and how it is to our benefit not to get worked up or angry over it. Personally, I feel that working in the club has made me more confident and able to brush off the things people can say that offend... This has carried over to my "real" (i.e. OTC) life too. I would venture to guess it also has something to do with simply growing older and more mature. That said, I meet people my age (24 y.o.) and older all the time who are easily offended/upset and can't seem to handle their emotions, specifically their anger, without making a scene.

    What about you? Do you think working in the club has taught you to exercise more control over your reaction to certain things?

    P.S. I sort of rambled on here and hope it makes sense to everyone!

  2. #2
    Featured Member pussyinboots's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anger Management

    Well...I think that was the first to repond to 'that Thread' you mentioned...and the first here too I guess. I don't Dance or Strip, but I do work in a high pressure environment in both my jobs...as a D & A Counsellor, and as a Model.

    In the first, anger is around me all the time and it pays me nothing to get angry or vocal myself...indeed it would have an adverse effect on those I'm counselling. As far as the modelling is concerned...High Heels modelling..I have worked with professional and amateur photographers who think that they have a licence to be rude and sexist when telling me what they want from the shoot and when they direct the poses too. It can be absolutely infuriating, but again, I would only make matters worse (and perhaps lose the gig) by getting angry and retaliatory.

    In both instances, I thnk that my experience, and my extensive travel helps me deal with the situation in a calm and sensible manner. Certainly dealing with those idiot photographers helps me with other situations in life.

    My dear old Aunt (my Aunt again) had many, many wise sayings...and one was this:

    "The first person to shout, has already lost the argument".

    Not that there is always an argument to be had....but it's so true.

    (BTW - Thanks for posting this Thread 'InTheSpirit'....I hope that many more will add sage words too).
    Last edited by pussyinboots; 05-17-2010 at 01:53 PM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

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    Default Re: Anger Management

    Thanks for responding PussyInBoots!

    Btw, I really like your Aunt's saying... I'll keep that one in mind. I also think you make a great point ab traveling being a great way to learn to control your initial reactions to different situations. I always say traveling (specifically abroad) has changed me significantly and has taught me it's in my own best interest to at least attempt to see things from others' POV.




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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anger Management

    Funny this thread got bumped to the top right now, I actually just logged off of Facebook because someone I don't even know wanted to argue with me over something petty and ridiculous on my friend's comment page. It's like, come the fuck on.

    Arguing on the internet is a whole other animal too. Most people will say things they wouldn't dream of having the balls to say if....confronted with that person in real life. Anyone can be a badass behind a computer screen....

    I actually left SW for a while one time because I was SO sick of the stupid arguing. It was really annoying to have to scroll through pages of BS to get to some good information. Over nothing, like, spelling errors. The "spelling error" card is always pulled when one person runs out of ammo "You can't even spell right" or "Use correct grammar next time" or whatever....then there would be arguing back and forth about that in place of the subject at hand. So I'd have to scrool through 8 pages of two people arguing about grammar to get to some responses with substance.

    I have noticed that it's calmed down alot. The only other thing that bothers me is the race wars. I see some pretty non-confrontational, innocently inquisitive comments taken WAY too personal and misconstrued.
    Umm, did I spell all that right ?

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    Veteran Member DirtyLittleSecret's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anger Management

    Quote Originally Posted by CherryBomb954 View Post
    Funny this thread got bumped to the top right now, I actually just logged off of Facebook because someone I don't even know wanted to argue with me over something petty and ridiculous on my friend's comment page. It's like, come the fuck on.

    Arguing on the internet is a whole other animal too. Most people will say things they wouldn't dream of having the balls to say if....confronted with that person in real life. Anyone can be a badass behind a computer screen....

    I actually left SW for a while one time because I was SO sick of the stupid arguing. It was really annoying to have to scroll through pages of BS to get to some good information. Over nothing, like, spelling errors. The "spelling error" card is always pulled when one person runs out of ammo "You can't even spell right" or "Use correct grammar next time" or whatever....then there would be arguing back and forth about that in place of the subject at hand. So I'd have to scrool through 8 pages of two people arguing about grammar to get to some responses with substance.

    I have noticed that it's calmed down alot. The only other thing that bothers me is the race wars. I see some pretty non-confrontational, innocently inquisitive comments taken WAY too personal and misconstrued.
    Umm, did I spell all that right ?

    That spelling and grammar argument actually is found in other forums as well. I personally know this cause i'm part of a mommy forum and the same thing will happen (16pages of grown women name calling back and forth without substance) literally every day. I never understood the point.

    Although i have nothing really to add since i am not a dancer, i will say PussyinBoots i really love your Aunts saying and i will totally keep it in mind. (I have a horrible temper!)

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    Default Re: Anger Management

    Great point, CherryBomb! The anonymity of discussion forums grants anyone w/ a keyboard a pair!

    And DirtyLittleSecret, you're so right about the silly squabbles taking away from the overall purpose of this site but it has definitely gotten better, I think. Thank goodness since Stripperweb is so Awesome!


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    Default Re: Anger Management

    ^I also agree, its really annoying when things get sidetracked with grammar,race, other petty fights when it has nothing to do with helping the OP in anything. Threadjacks, well as long as its something that can also help the OP, I dont have a problem with that (i do it myself sometimes unknowingly ) but its the scrolling through bullshit to find some kind of good answers being the problem. I wouldn't say I have a temper but I do get pissed pretty easily, mostly because most people i meet are morons or jerks, or make rude comments, grabby assholes, etc etc, in the club as well as outside the club in real life-so i lose patience with people quickly. I'm truing to learn not to, because I know you win more with honey than vinegar and they never know what you're really thinking if you smile..but I sort of went astray today when going around for tips after stage this 1 ass goes "well let me see some of that" for a DOLLAR? Not to mention its illegal in NJ clubs that serve alcohol to be naked, my response? I laughed and said i'm worth more than a dollar..and uh yeah, we'll get in trouble anyway. and walked away. It's really bad because I've been working a lot, which i really need to, but i need ways how to deal with assholes all the time- i know i have another thread on that somewhere from a long time ago. So if any lovely ladies have similar issues, what do you do/say that keeps you from getting angry/upset at work? (or in general)? I know to say to myself getting agitated is not going to make me $, and bring down my mood, but-sometimes just can't help it.

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    Default Re: Anger Management

    Quote Originally Posted by sunshine16 View Post
    ^I also agree, its really annoying when things get sidetracked with grammar,race, other petty fights when it has nothing to do with helping the OP in anything. Threadjacks, well as long as its something that can also help the OP, I dont have a problem with that (i do it myself sometimes unknowingly ) but its the scrolling through bullshit to find some kind of good answers being the problem. I wouldn't say I have a temper but I do get pissed pretty easily, mostly because most people i meet are morons or jerks, or make rude comments, grabby assholes, etc etc, in the club as well as outside the club in real life-so i lose patience with people quickly. I'm truing to learn not to, because I know you win more with honey than vinegar and they never know what you're really thinking if you smile..but I sort of went astray today when going around for tips after stage this 1 ass goes "well let me see some of that" for a DOLLAR? Not to mention its illegal in NJ clubs that serve alcohol to be naked, my response? I laughed and said i'm worth more than a dollar..and uh yeah, we'll get in trouble anyway. and walked away. It's really bad because I've been working a lot, which i really need to, but i need ways how to deal with assholes all the time- i know i have another thread on that somewhere from a long time ago. So if any lovely ladies have similar issues, what do you do/say that keeps you from getting angry/upset at work? (or in general)? I know to say to myself getting agitated is not going to make me $, and bring down my mood, but-sometimes just can't help it.
    Hooray for you!

    At least you're trying! Too many people just don't give it a thought and let themselves and everyone else down. No-one's perfect, me included of course, but you're doing yourself a whole power of spiritual good if you're making a genuine effort not to 'fly off the handle' and be more measured in your responses to people and situations that usually 'piss you off'.

    I take my hat off to you for the personal efforts you're making....plenty of folks don't.....and you're right, you do win more with honey rather than vinegar (even if it doesn't seem so at the time!).

    I was feeling really down when I came on here today, but reading your post put a smile back on my face - Thank You!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

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    Default Re: Anger Management

    ^^ Aw yay glad I made someone smile today haha, was sooo horrible today and started a new club, discustingly slow! But after re-reading my own post, I'm sort of re motivated for tomorrow too lol

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    Default Re: Anger Management

    ive gotten better at brushing things off ITC and realizing that a lot of times, the customer is carrying feelings over something completely different and i happen to be the target. also, my work w/ special ed kids helped me learn not to take certain outbursts personally, so that has helped also when i'm working. i'm still new, so yeah i could def. be better at handling some things ITC but i can see the benefits. i do have anger issues, so i need all the help i can get.

    i also dont like e-thugs. ppl on the internets will say stuff they will NEVER say in real life, and that has to do with the anonymity. it's wonderful and horrific ant the same time. some of the shyest ppl IRL i know have horrible e-personalities. you can be anything you want to be, and no one will be the wiser.

    confession: I am one of those ppl who like correct grammar. i'm an english ed major and can't help it!! however, i have never called ppl out on it in a forum, even if the grammar makes me misinterpret a post. i usually apologize that i misinterpret it and keep it movin. im actually a lot nicer on the internet than IRL.

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    Default Re: Anger Management

    I think having worked as both a model and a dancer made me learn to bite my tongue more often. Years ago I was a hothead and would walk out of various (non stripping) jobs because I'd get in fights. Now I am more apt not to say anything. Even at my last job where I hated the head of HR and she made my life hell, I learned to ignore her. I think if the OP in question had said something to the effect of women she danced with, she would have gotten many positive comments. I danced with a bunch of dancers who were so gross they embarassed me.

    I will admit that I have gotten into heavy online brawls (not really here, just in general). For instance I used to be a member of a rock band's message board. The majority of the people there would start fight after fight and these were especially heinous. People would meet offline, decide they didn't like each other, then sling mud online. Long time friends would believe what others said and would expose things like names, addresses, phone numbers, etc. The moderator was part of the mean group of posters, so if you were a victim, you had to either deal with it, or leave the board. The group in question actually closed the board because of the extreme vicious comments. On top of this, there was actually a message board devoted to making fun of people from the band's message boards. I actually reported this particular one because they attacked a friend of mine personally and made videos making fun of posters using photos they stole from the message board. Nasty and pure evil.

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