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Thread: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  1. #26
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    You know, I think it might be worth it for you to look into a couple of cheap studio/bach apartments. Maybe in the same building, but different floors. He'll have his independence and you'll have yours, yet you'll still be able to help look after him.

    Also, ditto looking into disability. He is disabled, so he should be able to get some sort of aide.

    If you're really able to make that much more camming, then you really shouldn't stop. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I think it's so sweet that you're even willing to step up and look after your father - a lot of people our age would never give up their lifestyle to help look after their parents. I hope you're able to do it in a way that doesn't require too many sacrifices on your part. Do you have any siblings to help you out?



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  3. #27
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    ^ I'd agree that the sentiment is sweet, but I can't stand the fact that her father would (by the sounds of it) disown her if she came out as a sex worker...yet he's okay with living off of her money. That makes me sick.

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  5. #28
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Well he currently does not know that my income comes from sex work, if he knew that it did he would have probably killed himself already. He said that basically his plan was to live off his savings and then kill himself when they ran out but as the time got nearer I guess he knew it wasn't the best thing to do. He also said he couldn't find info on painless suicide on the internet(my father is not a severely depressed psycho lol, he is just very gritty and realistic...).

    Btw he knows I used to strip but thinks I stopped.

  6. #29
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Quote Originally Posted by Zinaida View Post
    What if he lives separately but I still pay for him and he filed? I briefly considered keeping my current studio apartment(or going more inland and getting an even cheaper studio for myself) and getting him a studio apartment, he said he'd be fine with having a studio but ultimately we concluded that paying for a 2br place would be cheaper than 2 separate studios. But it might be worth paying more for that arrangement considering that the time I could spend camming would make up more than the difference monetarily.
    This is what I was going to suggest. Is there any reason he has to live near you? Can you just get him a place somewhere cheaper in another state? If you're going to be doing traveling for weeks at a time, I don't see what the difference is between having him live with you or near you, and living in another state.

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  8. #30
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Being near me was his idea. In fact I honestly think he wants to live with me for a bit and then take himself out. I suggested to him the idea of having our own separate little places and he was pretty hesitant, said he'd rather be with me. He's lived on his own for a year with this handicap, I know it's not because he needs help with the basics of day to day living. I think he wants this last time with me. No clue though!

  9. #31
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Jesus.....that's grim.



  10. #32
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Yeah but I understand where he's coming from. Who wants to grow old and feeble and be a burden?

  11. #33
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Does your father have any other close relatives or friends? Is he able to socialize or date, or does his handicap prevent him from doing these?

  12. #34
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    He has close friends and relatives. And missing a leg has not kept him from seeing himself as the ultimate ladies' man...

  13. #35
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Hmmm....Zin, this sounds...bad. I'm sure you love your dad, but it doesn't sound healthy to have him around. Even your parents shouldn't be allowed to mentally drag you down and it sounds like that's where this is going to go eventually...I mean's he's talking about coming to live w/ you until he decides to kill himself? That is not good for YOU to be around that.

    I would encourage you to ask him to get his own place near you. Reassure him that you'll visit often.

    But having him around 24/7? I see that turning out badly.

  14. #36
    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    I'd like to give my opinion and all, but I figure you're in a rock and hard place. I know it can be tough (especially when you have to be a parent to your parents). If there's one thing I can tell about you, it's that you're a tough cookie, and you'll get it all figured out. Ideally, if you could find like a poolhouse or studio apartment like someone else suggested, that would kind of rock. But if he does end up staying with you, then there are some ways to get around it. There was another thread where I mentioned the explanation of being a makeup tutorial girl (like on Youtube) so you can help explained why you are glammed up and in your room. Lemme see, ideas to explain:
    1. You could be one of those girls that sells outfits at the club. Maybe this would help explain the weird hours out, why you carry a bag, and why you have outfits in your possession. Do you think he'd be upset if you were actually working at one, but claiming just to be a costume girl?
    2. Shot girl/ liquor promo girl: I did these and had to bring a bag of stuff with me sometimes, like some costume items for theme nights, brand t-shirts to pass out, and some branded plastic shot glasses, etc... Shot girls need to carry bags and stay out late too.
    3. Get some sound muffling/sound proofing stuff for your room. One of my friends is a drummer and has a room in their house soundproofed. He goes in and bangs away, but we can't hear jack outside. So maybe you could check into that to see if musician's methods could be possible and cheap? Maybe there's some other materials or special tape?
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

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  16. #37
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    I am seriously contemplating moving to Las Vegas. A friend has always pointed out to me that the cost of living is lower there. From what I see I can get a 2 bedroom there for what it costs for my studio apartment here. That means renting an office space for camming wouldn't be ridiculous too. Plus there's clubs galore and even the cost of stripping is less in Vegas than in San Diego(via licensing).

    Unfortunately this is all happening so quickly and I really don't have the time to go up there and explore(I have been in Las Vegas before for the total of one day). It would mean leaving behind an area that I really like for an area that I don't really care for and it would mean leaving behind a lot of relationships but I dunno. I'm not looking forward to doubling my cost of living.

  17. #38
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Also, Nevada has no state personal income tax !!! If you truly are shooting for a $200k per year target as a 'serious professional dancer', compared to California's 9.3% tax bracket the relocation to Nevada could save you ~ $16,000 a year in reduced taxes !!! Also, Nevada LLC's and corporations are also not subject to a state income tax !



    If you are considering renting space for exclusive use as a 'webcam studio', I would definitely think about forming a Nevada LLC as soon as possible and renting / leasing this space in the name of the LLC. You may even be able to find a business property for lease that has a couple of apartments attached ... in which case you could arrange things such that you and your father were paying your personal apartment rent payments to your LLC !!!

  18. #39
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Well.........................

    Nevada will be a bad state for my father, he is heavily dependent on his...herb...and apparently in Nevada they do not mess around with that. Whereas here he can get his medical card and be good to go. However...I am still not over the Nevadan 'benefits' that Melonie has mentioned(which I also remember from my Kansas thread) so what I am going to do is get my father a little place down here(or have him move into the one I'm currently in) and in September I will move on to 'Vegas' where I can get myself a little place for cheap. I want my real address to be in Nevada. Will definitely form an LLC!

    Now I'm looking forward to it. What I will be paying for my father to have a little place down here and for me to have a place up there will be around as much as it would have been if I found a 2 bedroom place for us down here(in a sucky neighborhood that wouldn't really suit my father's needs). And so my actual legal residence will be in Nevada. Also I won't have to worry about separately renting a studio since I will have my own complete 'residential privacy' to cam from. Also I feel that Las Vegas strip clubs have a higher earning potential than San Diego clubs. So I will be moving in September after my Mexican breast augmentation, and ironically I will be moving to the state that Dr. Foster is located in! IF I choose to go with him. May not have a choice though...

    However, wherever I put my father I'm not sure about how to establish things...since I'm the one paying his rent they might want my name on it, but because he's the one living there they may want his... If I have to have my name on 'his' place in San Diego that might mess up my Nevadan legal residency plan... lots to research.
    Last edited by Zinaida; 05-22-2010 at 12:25 AM.

  19. #40
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    However, wherever I put my father I'm not sure about how to establish things...since I'm the one paying his rent they might want my name on it, but because he's the one living there they may want his... If I have to have my name on 'his' place in San Diego that might mess up my Nevadan legal residency plan... lots to research.
    Because of California's 'nexus' provisions that attempt to tax the worldwide income of its residents it is very important that your own name ... or the name of your LLC ... does NOT continue to appear on any California rental / lease agreement.

  20. #41
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Thank you. Will make sure the place is in his name! Which may be tough...he has no income/proof of income...and if I tell them I'm paying for everything they might want my name on it! This may get a little tricky. I'm gonna go look at a place tomorrow I'm gonna ask them how they'd work with that... because I'm on good terms with my current landlord though I might be able to do a little switcharoo with them. Or they might not! *groans*

    Oh wait, tomorrow's Sunday. I ain't looking at shit lol.
    Last edited by Zinaida; 05-22-2010 at 01:11 AM.

  21. #42
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    ^^^ having your father's apartment in his own name may also affect his eligibility / size of benefits where California social welfare programs are concerned.

  22. #43
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Seems to me...
    1) he needs to find his own way of financially dealing with his condition; there are lots of helping services for this situation but maybe more in NJ where he lives than in CA where he may be moving to. Why has he not applied for assistance before now? Sounds sketchy to me.
    2) loss of a leg does not mean he cannot earn a living; there are many services helping people with conditions like that. Also sounds sketchy.
    3) you are not going to be able to live with a extreme moralist who thinks your life is just morally wrong; you are going to be miserable and so will he.
    4) you're going to have to bite the bullet and find out more about what's happening that he wants his daughter to support him for life. Just sounds so sketchy.

    hmmmm....herb....this may just be the key to why he's manipulating to get to CA with someone else paying for his life. Now even more sketchy.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  23. #44
    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Wasn't the point of your dad being with you that he want to be with you? Now it just seems that he wants just your money. That is really not fair.

    I will say it again, he needs to learn to live off his disability money. There are organizations to help with this.

  24. #45
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    I'll say it again, and backing up what threlayer and shasta are saying...don't do this. DON'T. Find some other way to help him live on his own near you. DO NOT let him live with you. I know that's hard to do but I really think you'll end up regretting it, both personally and financially.

  25. #46
    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    ^^I agree Mr. Hyde. There is manipulation going on here. Parent to child manipulation is the worst kind.
    Please, I urge you Z, not to do this to yourself!
    Read Mr. Hyde's post #43 and really think about that.

  26. #47
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    ^^ 43 is my post and after thinking about it a bit more, I still think I was right on.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  27. #48
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    ^^^Actually you were wrong on all counts.

  28. #49
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Zin, I hope you're doing the right thing...any advice I gave, if you don't like it, don't take it personally...I'm just thinking about how this might turn out and I don't see it as good, but if you decide to do it, I sure wish you luck.

  29. #50
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    Default Re: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Mr. Hyde,
    I'd be appalled if I were your father!

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