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Thread: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

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    Thumbs down Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    I was going to start doing amateur nights this week but my car is shitting the bed.... 1996 stationwagon with about $1000 in repairs needed.... i'm borrowing it from my parents and they don't know what to do about it. They are reluctant to do the repairs (it's such a money pit) and they would rather jump off a cliff than to buy me a used car (it would be cheaper in the long run, I asked them and they yelled at me for like 30 minutes, even though I told them I'd pay them back once I got a job). I'd need a car to strip because all of the strip clubs around here are 45-60 minutes way, which is good anyways so my parents don't find out I'm doing it.

    No money.... I have about $300 to my name.... I already have like 5 pairs of stripper shoes that my boyfriend bought me but not any stripper outfit sets or anything. I need to buy some of those. But don't I want to wait to buy those until I get hired and know what is expected to wear?? Then what about what to wear at amateur night?? And I need to get hired or win an amateur night to make some money... ughhh vicious circle

    And I also have no place to live... I don't live with my parents because they live in the boondox, the closest grocery store up there was an hour away and my graduating class was 10 kids. I actually dropped out and homeschooled myself because I couldn't take it any more and moved out and lived with my grandparents, who I live with now.... I go to college and I will be a junior next year. I have lived with my grandparents for my junior & senior year of high school, and lived with them during summer break of college each year. Now this summer break, I feel like I have been the most mature, responsible adult that I have ever been in my life (college has done that for me, unfortunately not some of my friends). My room is clean, I am never in their way, I clean the house without asking them, run errands for them, etc. But they are treating me like crap and I can't figure out why! I never complain or say anything negative--not even like "Gee, this rain sucks today!". They never have anything nice to say to me. I won't talk back because I don't want to make things worse. I just feel like I'm not welcome there anymore and I don't know why.

    Nevermind the fact that my Uncle is a convicted rapist and he lives up the road from my grandparents and visits every day. That's enough to make me uncomfortable.

    I just can't live there anymore... it's time to move out. I don't want to wait another week and see "we'll let's see if it gets better or worse". I'm not gonna wait until something worse happens to be my pivitol moment to move out, I'd rather be out of there before that happens. I don't want to be there when it happens. My grandparents are very volatile people and I don't need to be in that environment. I have better things to do then play paddy whack and find something to make a big deal about!!

    All that said.... I have no money, no car, and no place to move out. My boyfriend is still living with his mother but he is moving out and getting his own place by the end of June and says that I can live with him once he moves out.

    But as for now, I have no money, no car, no place to live, and almost no hope...



    Any advice??


    Thank you ladies...

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    I'll try my best to help, but I don't have enough information to know if this advice will help you.

    You said that your boyfriend bought you some shoes for work, I'm assuming that means he knows you are planning on auditioning at a club, and since he bought your shoes I'm assuming he also supports the idea. You said that your car is not drivable right now and that you have $300 to your name... so I have an idea.

    Let's say you only make $100/night which is by all means not the best money, but still money. If you worked three nights you could make that $300 right back, so I suggest that you invest part of your $300 in some outfits for work. (The cheaper the outfit the quicker it will become worn out, some clothes are NOT meant to be taken on and off 50 times a night). I recommend buying some pieces you can mix and match, but you should also consider the dress code at the club you want to audition at and if they are topless or nude.

    Back to the boyfriend supporting you thing, does he have access to a running car? Could he drive you to work for a month or two? If he could drive you to work and you don't have any real bills right now, perhaps you could save up for a used car. I've been involved with the car scene since I was 14, and I won't be the only person who agrees that investing 1k in a car that has been known to eat money is a far worse idea than spending 2k-3k on a used car. If you spend 2-3k on a used car (and do it right) then you should be able to get at least a year out of the car with no major issues, hopefully more. What I mean by "do it right" is that you go for function over form (i.e. mechanically sound versus cutesy) even if that means driving the ugliest pile you've ever seen. I'd rather drive around in a POS than have to hitch rides and take the bus! Having a running car, no matter how shitty it looks, ensures your freedom in regards to going where you want to when you want to.

    If for some reason your boyfriend can't drive you to work, then you might have to seek out a job that is closer temporarily--whether that be another strip club in your area that is divey or a minimum wage job to fix your car. You could also consider taking a cab.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Featured Member miss1dancypants's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    Thank you Laurisa, this is great advice!! My boyfriend is going to help me buy a used car once I save up money... buy up my OWN used car, not one that my parents buy. He is a mechanical engineer and built a racecar for his senior project tin college, and will help me sort out the good used cars from the bad ones. He agrees that it is a waste of money to fix my old car, it is just a money pit and my dollars will be better spent on a 'new' used car. He would fix the car I have now but it would be over $100 in parts and take him about 8 hours so that is also not worth it...

    I would have him drive me to work but he gets up at 6 am to go to work to engineer medical supplies and doesn't get home until 5.... even if I worked the day shift he wouldn't be able to give me a ride there and if I worked the night shift I wouldn't have the heart to ask him to pick me up at 1 or 2 am when he has to get up at 6....

    I have a friend who wants to do amateur night with me so I will see if she can drive and we'll do it together and I'll pay her gas... that's more affordable for me right now than a cab or a car.

    Thanks for the great advice, I will definitely do what you say and it helped me spur some more ideas!! Maybe I'm not doomed after all....!



    My bf also says he knows a place where I can rent by the week for the summer with no contract and I could do that for a few weeks until he gets his own place if it gets really bad at my grandparents house... so if push comes to shove I might be moving out at the end of the week...

    Thanks again!!

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    Featured Member miss1dancypants's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    and yes he supports me stripping, he wants me to do whatever makes me happy as long as I don't hurt myself or anyone else... he is the best boyfriend I love him so much and he loves me too....

    everything is lollipops and rainbows for now but you never know!!

    but we started dating in January 2009 and he's been an angel the whole time

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    Not a problem, but let me point something out to you that I think you aren't seeing. If it's only going to cost $100 in parts and 8 hours of work to fix your car, it may well be worth it for him to do it so you have a temporary solution. With no real bills even making only $100 a night you could save up 2k in about 6 weeks if you worked 4 nights a week. If you invest $100 of that $300 in the car and $200 in outfits and make up then you will not have to be concerned about how you're going to get to work.

    The reason I recommended you not fix the car is because you said the repairs would cost about 1k. $100 isn't too bad for a temporary thing, and you'd only need you to last you 6-8 weeks in theory!!

    I understand you might think the idea of driving with a friend who is interested in dancing sounds like a good idea, but I would advise against that if at all possible. Having your own car (even if it costs you $100) would be a better idea. What if your friend chickens out? Or starts working and doesn't like it? What if she doesn't show? Or is late? Some clubs have penalties for no call no shows or being late, so if she doesn't want to strip or isn't punctual (which isn't an unreasonable suggestion) then it could cost you more money in the long run. (i.e. late fees, having to take a taxi to work because of her last minute notice she's quitting). The $100 you invest to fix your current car...if that's all it'll take...may save you MORE money and stress in the long run..after all, you just need to make about 2k to buy a car and you'll be okay.

    Talk to your boyfriend. What exactly is wrong with the car? If you give me a specific mechanical problem I might be able to make a recommendation. Also, what kind of car is it? You said a 96' Stationwagon...but make, model, etc.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    If your boyfriend can't drive you to work because of his hours, do you think he would let you borrow his car if you worked night shift?

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    Featured Member miss1dancypants's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    good points... all this stress is getting to my brain and not allowing me to think clearly...

    I talked to him and he is going to try to fix my car tonight

    It's a 1996 Saturn Stationwagon SW2

    My parents would rather have me bring it to a shop but if he knows what he is doing and will do it for free I will just lie to them and tell them I brought it to a shop and they fixed it...

    Front driver side wheel bearing & spindle is done... not driveable...
    Exhaust pipe needs to be replaced
    and breaks need to be replaced.

    I hope he can fix it... that would save me a lot of stress...

    then I could drive myself to work....

    If you don't win amateur night do you still make money in tips? Like after the competition are you allowed to go out and try to hustle for dances?

    *sigh* I just can't wait to start working and have my own money and be independant...

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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    Fuck that spending of $200 on clothes and makeup. When I started dancing I wore a short tight little nightclub number that I had already bought. Wore that same dress for a week, every night before I bought a cheap teddie from TJ Maxx that the custies LOVED. You don't need a bunch of outfits. Depending on the club, you might need a regulation thong, which is thicker than panties, like bathing suit material.

    Aside from that, for the firs 2 weeks...buy a couple of boyshorts and bra set from Target. Just wash them and switch them out. You need money for your life needs first, outfits will come later.

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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    I think you should wait a while to start dancing... You're too desperate for money right now, and this can lead to an overwhelming pressure to do things you'd rather not do for an extra buck. Plus, you're going to incur a lot of expenses as a dancer - clothes, gas, make-up, tip-out fees, etc...

    I think its better to find a job in your college and find some college roommates to move in with and share expenses. After you have some financial stability, you can transition into dancing part-time and then full-time. Also, if work, school and home are within walking distance of each other, you won't even need a car - you could make do with a bike, which you can buy for like $80 in Wal-Mart.

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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    ^That's bullshit.

    Needing money isn't going to make you start sucking dick in the back rooms.

    And no one expects newbies to have all the outfits and makeup and accessories. Newbies should never go out and buy themselves an entire stripper wardrobe and all new makeup when they first start. You acquire things as you go.

    And amateur nights often have runner-up prizes. At my club, first prize was $500, second was $300, and third was $200.

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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    ^exactly. i know when i first started dancing i had a few things...one pair of shoes and two outfits and i literally brought my things in a big plastic bag. i think it depends on the club for amateur night as far as letting you work after. for me, i got hired at the club first and then they told me to do the amateur night so i could win some money and then let me work afterward.
    Quote Originally Posted by sxcbbw View Post
    If some baristas started giving blowjobs along with their lattes, those not willing to do that would have a hard time getting custom. Same. Deal.

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    Fuck that spending of $200 on clothes and makeup. When I started dancing I wore a short tight little nightclub number that I had already bought. Wore that same dress for a week, every night before I bought a cheap teddie from TJ Maxx that the custies LOVED. You don't need a bunch of outfits. Depending on the club, you might need a regulation thong, which is thicker than panties, like bathing suit material.

    Aside from that, for the firs 2 weeks...buy a couple of boyshorts and bra set from Target. Just wash them and switch them out. You need money for your life needs first, outfits will come later.
    I'm recommending she invest the $200 so she doesn't have to spend money two weeks into her job on new shoes and new outfits. My friend got shoes, a few outfits and some jewelery for $60, but spent another $100 less than a week later. Why spend money on things that won't last? Just my opinion. If she has stuff she can use now then by all means, do it, but the $200 could be used for outfits, make up, hair care products, etc too.

    If you read my first post you'll notice I told her to take the club's dress code and whether or not they are nude or topless into account when she goes shopping.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    ^That's bullshit.

    Needing money isn't going to make you start sucking dick in the back rooms.
    I'm not saying she's going to be sucking dick, but if she's struggling because she doesn't have money for gas, rent, etc., its been a very slow night or worst yet, a slow week, and some guy offers her $200 for a HJ... or he wants to take her into the VIP room, but only if he can touch her freely... I'm just saying, this is not a position she should be in. Its going to be harder to draw lines if she is desparate for cash, then, if she was coming from a position of financial stability.

    She's too vulnerable right now - just my opinion.

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    ^^I think a better way to word what you are saying is something that was said to me last week; guys can smell desperation. Furthermore, they will try to take advantage of it OR be grossly turned off.

    If she can go in there with relaxed goals and a positive attitude then she should do fine. If she sets x goal nightly but makes $50 less, who cares, there's always next night.

    Ya know?
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Featured Member miss1dancypants's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    I'm not THAT desperate... I have friends and family if I go completely broke... I'd rather walk out of the club with no money then get paid extra for extras. (sorry for the redundancy). It's just not my thing. I'm a strong, confident person, and I think I'm pretty sexy, so I'm hoping I'll be able to get by with my hot looks and sexy dances Extras just aren't what I'm signing up for here. If dancing doesn't work out for me without extras then I will just find a different job. But I'm really hoping it does because I love dancing, being naked, and everything that comes with being a dancer.

    Status on my car: almost fixed. my boyfriend is fixing it up for me, it ended up costing $200 which is a lot less than $1000 in the shop. he is going to help me go used car shopping near the end of summer if I made enough money.

    Status on my money: I still have only $300 but I am going to call up places I am going to be doing amateur night at and seeing what kind of garments they require. I plan on buying 3 or 4 high quality outfits--to get the most mileage out of them and to make sure I make a good impression on the clubs I do amateur night at. I'm willing to spend up to $200 on them (combined) so I can have an extra $100 for gas, food, etc.

    Status on place to live: things are getting better at my grandparent's house, so I am going to stick it out until the end of June when my boyfriend gets his own place.


    Thank you all for your great advice and helping me think clearly during this stressful time!! You are amazing women I'm glad that the world isn't going to end!!! I think I have it under control for now...

    Thanks again SW ladies <3 I'll keep you updated on all of this stuff + amateur nights!

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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurisa View Post
    ^^I think a better way to word what you are saying is something that was said to me last week; guys can smell desperation. Furthermore, they will try to take advantage of it OR be grossly turned off.

    If she can go in there with relaxed goals and a positive attitude then she should do fine. If she sets x goal nightly but makes $50 less, who cares, there's always next night.

    Ya know?
    Agreed.

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    Featured Member miss1dancypants's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    By the way... I did a few internet applications for private party agencies... and every single one of them called me saying they wanted me to dance for them, I'm sooo excited!! I am going to a few private parties this weekend just to watch and see how it's done.... I couldn't be happier right now and my car is almost fixed!! My boyfriend will be getting his own place soon so hopefully that will be the last of my worries... And hopefully the private party dancing works out for me and they want to hire me as a dancer.


    Thank you for all of your support, I couldn't have done it without you!

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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    ^^ Good luck to you miss1dancypants. You're beautiful and hot, so I'm sure you'll do very well. Please don't take offense at anything I said.

    I have total respect for dancers and all sex workers - as long as its their free choice to engage in what they do. But, it makes me sad when a girl does something because she feels that she doesn't have any other choice.

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    Featured Member miss1dancypants's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant... No Car, No Money, No Place to Live :( No Idea what to do!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    ^^ Good luck to you miss1dancypants. You're beautiful and hot, so I'm sure you'll do very well. Please don't take offense at anything I said.

    I have total respect for dancers and all sex workers - as long as its their free choice to engage in what they do. But, it makes me sad when a girl does something because she feels that she doesn't have any other choice.

    thank you for the compliment!

    well, the thing is, I wanted to strip in the first place before these problems came in to play. these problems would have prevented me from stripping, which is what I was worried about.


    But I did my first private party and it went really well! So far I like it a lot and I hope it stays that way


    thanks for everyone's advice!! I <3 SW

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