Strippers dating their customers is the same as an escort fucking her client for free. It's just a really dumb thing to do. That's why it doesn't happen often.



Strippers dating their customers is the same as an escort fucking her client for free. It's just a really dumb thing to do. That's why it doesn't happen often.





I misunderstood, but many guys do think that. I wish I could tell guys how to know if a dancer really is interested but there's no sure thing. I know I've mentioned my situation because it's the exception but true. He never was my biggest customer but he was sweet. He would come in usually to get his feet fetish. So he'd pay me to massage my feet. He would get dances (they were no contact bikini air dances) but he was more into the feet. During this time we'd spend time talking and found out we were alike in almost everything. When I left the club he's the only customer I kept in touch with. In fact to this day outside of a few customers I still do parties for (not as much anymore) he's really the only one.





This is actually wrong. I would never date a guy who didn't spend money. Like I stress my situation is much different and the exception. After we became off club friends I didn't charge him anything to massage my feet and it became more extreme (he would touch himself while sucking my feet). However this process took months.





Agreed, though, to be fair to BEM, "RL non-compensatory relationships" do not necessarily fall into the category of "dating"
That being said Kelly, I agree with your POV as this has been my personal experience as well as the preference related to me by every dancer I have ever had the conversation with. I don't know many dancers that will give a guy the time of day if he isn't spending ITC. If a relationship ensues, not a casual friendship but and actual relationship, naturally the money train, and club visits, will stop. This, again, is the reason why many dancers won't go there at all. That being said, we are all human beings so I never say never.





Very true. I would never spend time with a guy who didn't spend money so there would never be any relationship at all, whether friendship, relationship or anything else. I wouldn't allow myself to get to know a guy without money. In dead clubs I still wouldn't talk to cheap guys. In my case yes once I became friends with the guy all club visits and money related to dancing stopped, but this was when I quit the club so it had no effect either way. I kept it completely club related until I left the club then asked my roommate (who was still dancing there) to invite him over. After that any money he spent was because he wanted to and not related to dancing at all (things like going to the show and dinner and buying me presents). In the interim I moved back home so he came over to visit me at my parents house. Did I dance for him? Yes, and it was more of a mutual thing (and no, he didn't pay me). He also massaged my feet and didn't pay me but bought nail poilsh. I wouldn't expect him to pay at this point, nor would he. We've gone way below customer/stripper at this point. I'm hoping that we eventually go to bed together, but once again this would be because we were in love, certainly no money transaction.
I often wonder what I'd do if this situation had happened more than once and happened at a club I planned to stay at. I have no idea what I would have done. There have been times I left a club, told a guy I was leaving and he often asked me out, but nothing came of this. Many guys, some seemed decent, asked me out but I always made excuses. This is the one time I made an exception and only time will tell if it was a wise choice or stupid. Best case scenario, we marry and have a family. Worst case scenario we never speak again.









Never said they did, but "dating" definitely falls into the larger classification of "RL non-compensatory relationships". I've "dated" a dancer or two and had casual RL friendships with several others over the years and it always seemed easier for the dancers who didn't feel they were risking potential earnings to do it.
No real argument here with any of what you say. The girls are there to make money, bottom line. They have very little use for customers who are not spending money on them.
Last edited by bem401; 09-21-2010 at 06:27 AM.
"never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe
If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill





My experiences have been different than yours. Being a customer does not mean you can't have lunch with a dancer. If that's an issue for you or your friends then I guess that's something for you and them to work out. I have had no such issues.
As far as any serious dating goes, naturally the ITC visits and spending need to stop if and when that happens. One of the cool things about dancers is that it's pretty easy to figure out where you stand with them in situations like this. If the guy's cash inside the club is her primary concern it's pretty clear that he is firmly in the "customer" zone and nothing further will be likely to develop.









I've never hung out with a customer OTC that didn't spend money on me. Never. Even the drug dealer I dated shortly spent monies on me ITC before we became friends and lovers.
No exceptions. Even one of my current "go to" fuck buddies spent money on me at the club when I met him and his friends, who I became friends with and sometimes see to this day.
I just fundamentally dislike men who go to strip clubs and never get dances. So why would I date them, or even be their friend?





That's very rare. Anything can happen but I've personally never heard of it.
I hate those guys. It does remind me of a guy who asked me out one time when he walked in the door. Said he was looking for a girlfriend and I looked too clean to work there. I told him I'd have to get to know him first (this is true of any relationship) then he said I was a 'typical stripper" after all. Need I mention this guy walked out after asking several girls for dates but not spending money?




I've met literally dozens of those guys. There was one cute guy that I actually know from a different scene in my town. He was quite attractive but completely inept. He came in a few times a week, would ask the waitress to bring over girls he saw from afar.
Now, we strippers all know, that when a custy requests you, it usually means he is floored by you and wants dances. Nope, not this clever cat. He did just about the same thing, said he was looking for a girl to date, and was I interested? This was the opener. I guess then he would offer me a drink if I wanted to date him.
I laughed so hard, he could hear me laugh as I walked away. If I saw him in again and a girl I liked was about to approach him, I would warn her. Every time I saw him socially after that, I would just laugh at him...but quietly, as I didn't care to broadcast my stripperness.
Are these guys fucking for real?





Unfortunately there are many of these guys around. I suspect most are socially insecure. Either that or think they deserve a hot dancer (and most I've seen weren't hot guys). That's why I laugh when I hear of a guy trying to woo a dancer by not tipping her.
I would never go into a club looking to hook up, always went in to have a good time. My ex wife of 10 years works at the cheetah here in Atl & has been working there longer than we were married. I have had some girlfriends since that work in clubs and meet them all there. I was never a regular; I would go in every so often when I sold a home & had a good check. I think if you stand out from the rest of the guys you will get attention. When I talk to them I wasn't running a game on them, just talking like I would any other girl. I have been told that they were glad they met me there because they didn't have to lie about where they worked. I have always been attracted to entertainers; most are very smart if you get to see that side.






Have any dancers come across customers who thought the dancers got paid a base salary to be there? (I've been told that in Vegas at least in some clubs the dancers do get paid to work day or graveyard shift.) Do some customers think dancing is worthwhile just for stage tips?










If I remember right, he said here that he was at the SC with friends and didn't actually want to be there and didn't want a lapdance. The stripper found him attractive and found his aversion to the SC scene was endearing. I don't recall if he ended up buying a LD from her that night but he apparently likes SCs now (because he visits them with her apparently). So he was not exactly a customer when they met and therefore this is not a situation which could apply to SC customers. But it's an example of where a stripper liked a guy in in the club who was not there to spend. Maybe PUAs could feign this as a strategy.
Any guy who feels he needs to go to SCs to pick up hot girls probably isn't going to get any. They must be working on the notion that strippers are easier or more promiscuous than other girls.





I never said this either. I merely stated IMO that dancers are less likely to consider it if they felt they were risking a source of income by doing so. IMO, that income stream is probably placed at greater risk as well if they agree to outside contact with a local single guy than a married one from 50 miles away. At the time I experienced this, I was a main source of income to the two girls of whom I'm thinking, both of whom you'd know. In retrospect, they were clearly just dangling a carrot in front of a newcomer and were clearly adherents to the policy of not interacting with customers away from work, a policy with which many girls on this board agree.
No argument here other than to say the same could apply as well in cases of genuine RL friendships depending on the parties involved when the RL friendship is more valuable than the club one.
Last edited by bem401; 09-22-2010 at 06:38 AM.
"never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe
If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill





BEM, I never said that you said anything. I read your post and responded with an opinion that happens to come from a different set of experiences. I would expect you and the ladies that you are friendly with to carry on in whatever way suits all parties concerned. By the way, the fact that I may know (barely) some dancer that you went out with continues to be irrelevant to the topic at hand as it always has been...even though you insist on bringing it up every time I disagree with you. The relatively small amount of time I happen to have spent in the distant past with a dancer or two that you know doesn't really enter in to my point of view about these things. I have my own frame of reference to draw from.





This is turning into yet another thread where Bem defends not spending money on dancers because they are "his friends" and "friends don't expect money". Like mentioned by others, 99% of dancers would NEVER date a guy who didn't spend money on them. This has nothing to do with gold diggers. I am as anti materialistic as a stripper can get and I'd never date a guy who never spent money. It has to do with the fact that men in general will spend money on a girl they like. When a guy doesn't spend money on me it says he's cheap or doesn't like me. It could also be he expects me to support him (yes briefly dated one of these). Even platonic guy friends have spent money on me. In every case where a guy didn't spend money on me on a first date he never got a second date. Just for the record I am NOT someone who feels a guy should even always pay on a first date unless he asks me out.
This is why I am very reluctant to believe Bem in most of these cases. Yoda mentioned a case where this did happen and yes it does happen, but it's not common. In the case I mentioned (the guy I became friends with otc) he liked to pay a lot, though I'm sure I also paid at times. However, this is an exception and no if he had never paid in the club I'd never talk to him. I've been asked out by MANY customers and rarely have I told them I would.
Oh and this has been mentioned many times but I don't consider someone I only talk to in the club as a friend. I didn't even think of customers as friends. I'd certainly never consider non paying customers as anything but parasites.

+1.
In recent years I've dated 2 dancers.
The first one I never got a dance with. We talked for a really long time at the club, then she invited me out for drinks with her friends. We had a few dates after that in a normal guy/girl way. I don't think I went back to the club for awhile after that, and I never saw her there again.
The second one I had one dance with, which was rather chaste with her acting kind of silly. We had a great time sharing some laughs. I ran into her at the gym later and started seeing her. I never went back to her club after that first time. Again, a pretty normal relationship.
In both cases I could sorta tell that they liked me for real while in the club. I've never experienced that beyond these 2 women, and I've been up close and personal with a lot of dancers.




It doesn't necessarily follow that a guy who likes a stripper will buy LDs from her. This is a different situation than a date. On a date a guy will spend money on a girl he likes. In a SC he would of course want to buy LDs from her if he likes her, but he may at the same time not wish to because (1) paying her for a LD might put her off of considering him as a potential romantic interest and (2) he feels he is "paying for it" instead of getting it outside the club because the girl likes him, which is a bad feeling for a guy concerning a girl he likes.
A relatively new customer will not understand that strippers treat it as a job and don't necessarily treat LDs personally, although some actually do (as a few strippers on this site have said). His instinct is that if he pays the stripper, it is a signal to her that he has to pay her because he is not good enough for her to date him. He feels or suspects that strippers have contempt for the men who pay them to be watched or touched and resent them for doing so, even though they want their money. So he sees it as possibly an either-or decision - buy an LD or ask for her number and spend the money on a date with her instead.
This is similar to the pick-up artist strategy in SCs - don't ever be a stripper's customer - instead make her think you are too good to have to pay for it. (Faulty thinking, because what is a guy who can get any hot girl he wants IRL doing in an SC?)
Also, a date could cost a guy more than an LD in a SC, so asking for a date and not buying an LD does not mean he is cheap.
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