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Thread: SO's and money

  1. #1
    Featured Member yogibear179's Avatar
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    Default SO's and money

    Do you make more or less money than your partner/ or ex relationship?

    what is the status of your relationship?

    How do you and your mate handle/d money in your relationship? and how do/did you feel about it?

    does/did you mate ever bring up how little or much you bring home?

    have you ever let you SO borrow money or other valubles from you? and for how long?

    is there soething that you can say about your experiences with money and partners that you have learned? any advice? or questions?


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    Veteran Member Arianna419's Avatar
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    Default Re: SO's and money

    Do you make more or less money than your partner/ or ex relationship?
    Way more. We're both in school right now, he works full time but it's a pretty crappy paying job compared to stripping.

    what is the status of your relationship?
    We've been together for four years, I've been dancing for 6 months. He's okay with it... but we've run into trouble regarding sleep/housework that has been difficult lately.

    How do you and your mate handle/d money in your relationship? and how do/did you feel about it?
    We have two bank accounts. One (in my name) is for bills and common expenses. Dance money and a set amount of his paychecks go in there. He also has his own bank account that gets a certain amount of his paycheck thats for his personal use-- he mainly buys cigs, gas, food, and beer if hes out with his buddies. And as long as the bills are paid, I admit to spoiling myself shopping once in a while.

    does/did you mate ever bring up how little or much you bring home?
    How much, yes. He says good job or wow you must be tired! lol.... How little, no. We have clear set boundaries and he knows how I feel about those asshole boyfriends that some girls have... if he were to ever criticize a bad night, I would be vivid and really disappointed in him.

    have you ever let you SO borrow money or other valubles from you? and for how long?
    Yes, sort of. I paid for his car to be fixed ($1500) from my dance savings. I still feel a little salty about it sometimes, but I know if he had that much laying around, he would help me out. He's modified his living expenses to compensate me a little at a time.

    is there soething that you can say about your experiences with money and partners that you have learned? any advice? or questions?
    Money is one of the number one reasons for divorce. It's a touchy subject. But if both partners are doing their best, no one should be called lazy, its just a bad idea. And honestly, for me, its easier to just figure out who the responsible one (financially) is and have them (in this case me) take care of the bills, checkbook, savings... But divide things up as equally as possible, whether through a set amount or a percentage of income thing.

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    Featured Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Default Re: SO's and money

    As a finacial professional I would three pieces of advice.

    One never never never ever NEVER sign on a loan with ANYONE unless you are married. This always ends badly. You are equally responsible for the loan. If you break up the ONLY way to not be liable for the loans is if it is refinanced. If your name is on the loan and the other person is late with the payment it will go on your credit report too. Just avoid the whole mess. If your SO doesn't understand then you need to rethink the relationship.

    Two if you are joint on an account you are also equally liable. If your SO over draws the account it is as much your problem as it is their's. If you have a seperate account at the same bank that is only in your name; that bank can pull the funds from your seperate account to cover the over draft in your joint account. If your SO has a garnishment for child surport, taxes, etc it will effect any account your SO is on.

    Third if you deposit money into anyones account that your name is not on, that money becomes the property of the person listed on that account. You no longer have any rights to that money. It does not matter if it is a check or cash.

    These are the three biggest issues I see with couples.
    Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. ~ Mark Twain


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    Veteran Member Amareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: SO's and money

    Do you make more or less money than your partner/ or ex relationship?
    Made way more

    what is the status of your relationship?
    We were together for about a year, living together for about 7 months of that

    How do you and your mate handle/d money in your relationship? and how do/did you feel about it?
    Everything was split more or less evenly until he didn't have a job, then despite him having ample savings I found myself supporting him. Didn't bother me too much as he honestly intended to pay me back but when he got a job and kept delaying paying back it felt like he was taking the piss.

    does/did you mate ever bring up how little or much you bring home?
    He often brought up how little he made and I felt he resented what I earnt and thought it was 'easy money'

    have you ever let you SO borrow money or other valubles from you? and for how long?
    I lent him about $1600 (by paying his half of rent and bills for a while), he paid back about $600 and I ended up telling him if he just moved out I wouldn't bother him about the rest. This was over the course of about 4 months

    is there soething that you can say about your experiences with money and partners that you have learned? any advice? or questions?
    That's the only guy I've dated since I started dancing, guys can be really insecure when you earn more than them. Don't make a habit of paying for shit like I did, big mistake, though I genuinely believe he would've paid me back I always got the feeling it was a low priority to him, despite us having several arguments about it.

    It's made me quite determined to make sure the next guy I date earns a decent wage. I would never expect my partner to support me so I'm very against me having to support them.

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    Featured Member sxcbbw's Avatar
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    Default Re: SO's and money

    I make considerably less than my partner.
    We've been together for 2 years now.
    We pay for things pretty much equally, apart from dinner/movie dates, which he pays for. I feel fine about it.
    No, we don't talk about money unless we're whining about how we totally want so-and-so expensive gadget and how saving for vactions is boring.
    I've trusted my partner to make large purchases with my money.

    I've learned to get over it, largely. But only because my current partner is so secure in himself. My last, insecure, money obsessed partner, made that much harder.
    Get the fuck off my harbl, yo'.

  6. #6
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: SO's and money

    Do you make more or less money than your partner/ or ex relationship?

    I make more than double what my boyfriend makes. Even after I quit stripping, I got a very high paying job, as I have a Master's degree and a decent amount of experience in my field. My boyfriend is a solid blue-collar worker, working in a warehouse.

    what is the status of your relationship?

    We've been dating for more than three years. Our relationship is really terrific, we're both pretty happy

    How do you and your mate handle/d money in your relationship? and how do/did you feel about it?

    We have a good balance in the relationship, and we're open to talking about issues. I insist on paying more than he does for dates (I probably pay for 3 to his 1) simply because I have a much larger salary, which is logical to me. For "shared expenses", like a vacation we're taking in a few months, we split equally. There's no set rule for how we divide things, we just talk as it comes up.

    does/did you mate ever bring up how little or much you bring home?

    Not really. The closest we'll get is if he we talk about something expensive (like a new car), he might say he couldn't afford it right now. We also talk about how we'll handle money once we're married in the future, but that's the extent.

    have you ever let you SO borrow money or other valubles from you? and for how long?

    As my boyfriend is extremely proud, he'd never ask for money. I think he'd let himself starve first. He still fights me over the check at dinner, three years later lol.

    is there soething that you can say about your experiences with money and partners that you have learned? any advice? or questions?

    The best advice I can give is just be open and talk about it. So many couples stay quiet and sulk and it eventually explodes in other completely random tantrums, which could be avoided with honest conversation.

    I will also say there's a difference between dating someone who makes less than you, and dating someone who is completely broke. My boyfriend makes much less than me, but he still makes a decent salary and is self sufficient. It's not like I'm worried he can't make his rent or buy groceries. I don't think I'd handle a broke significant other very well, as I really need someone who has got it together.

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