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Thread: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

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    Default Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    I've noticed there is a certain amount of duality for many if not all of us dancers in our thoughts on /being/ dancers. Many girls hate the fact that they strip outright, considering it degrading and unseemly. These girls "love" only the monetary aspect of the job- and sometimes not even that (not to say that this is a bad thing necessarily).

    However others have a more complex relationship with their chosen profession. I for one enjoy it immensely, I love the creativity it allows, the excitement or at very least lack of BOREDOM, the music, the money, even some of the people. However I am a VERY 'closeted' dancer- for me, dancing involves leading a double life in every sense. I come from a religious background (and currently still LIVING in said background.. >_<), and am also your archetypal over-achieving goody-two shoes college student (whenever a professor begins a course by forcing us to talk about ourselves, our jobs, etc., I'm always tempted to come right out and say it- but so far I have always behaved myself. 0=P ) Anyway, as a result of living such a double life, it /is/ sometimes difficult to determine my self-image, or to secure my self-esteem.

    How do you feel about being an exotic dancer? Do you view it as a transitory period that you will one day put behind you? Are you out-loud-and-truly-proud of your profession, or is there a discrepancy between your standards and your behavior that causes you distress?

    To sum up my question- to be a stripper: love it or hate it? And, since many of us are double-minded on the subject, what is it you love and what is it you hate about being a dancer?
    Last edited by harlequinn; 06-10-2010 at 11:44 PM.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    I hate having to go on stage.

    I love the money I make.

    I honestly forget about all the pervy men by the time my head hits the pillow after a shift. The thing that stays with me is the money.



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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    I honestly forget about all the pervy men by the time my head hits the pillow after a shift. The thing that stays with me is the money.
    I hear you on that- I always say that when that exist door slams shut, "Quinn" is left on the other side, waiting for me the next time I walk through the entrance.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    I live performing. I love the flexibility I have for my time. I live being my own boss. I hate doing VIP rooms. I feel Like I'm being raped the majority of the time I'm in one. Honestly, for the most part I like what I do. The freedom and money aspect is drives me. But, the best friends and amazing memories I've made there make it worth it. I hate being single and dancing.. Because for whatever reason in my sick mind. It feels like the 40 perv grabbing my hips to make me grind harder on him, is the only man who desires me. It's depressing at times.. But the positives outweigh the negatives.. So I'll keep on truckin' until I'm done having the time of my life.

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    Duh Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Love performing***

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by BarbieDancer88 View Post
    I live performing. I love the flexibility I have for my time. I live being my own boss. I hate doing VIP rooms. I feel Like I'm being raped the majority of the time I'm in one. Honestly, for the most part I like what I do. The freedom and money aspect is drives me. But, the best friends and amazing memories I've made there make it worth it. I hate being single and dancing.. Because for whatever reason in my sick mind. It feels like the 40 perv grabbing my hips to make me grind harder on him, is the only man who desires me. It's depressing at times.. But the positives outweigh the negatives.. So I'll keep on truckin' until I'm done having the time of my life.
    sweetie, you are gorgeous. the 40 yr old perv buying a dance from you is definitely NOT the only man who desires you .
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    lol, well Im mainly talking about more on the emotional side. its a relief and mindcomforting when i get to come home to someone. :/
    Nola is coming back but, you got to have a backbone and no bedtime to keep up.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    yea im the opposite. after a night of hard work i like to come home to my big bed where nobody bothers me .

    although when i danced in NOLA i liked to stop at snake and jakes before making it home. god knows why i felt the need to go to a bar full of weird people after dancing for weird people all night. but yea, the empty bed was always a must.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    I agree on the duality of it all. I'm near the point where I'm retiring and in a sense I'm left looking back wondering why I felt the need to hurry up and get out. I wish I would have soaked up the glitter a little more! hehe. Like many others, I love the money, the performing, the music, and flexibility. The level of openminded and interesting people you encounter compares to nothing else I've found in life. I always joke to people that when I want an honest opinion I ask a stripper friend...because in many ways this industry makes us very aware and very honest about things.

    The things I don't love...swollen knees, the emotional attachment that some men get - I'm a people pleaser and some people can't be pleased so it always bums me out, and the fact that I can't blurt out in class "Hi my name is x, and I'm a stripper", and the paranoia of hiding my alter-ego and getting caught is exhausting at times.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by tRoUbLeMaKeR View Post
    the fact that I can't blurt out in class "Hi my name is x, and I'm a stripper", and the paranoia of hiding my alter-ego and getting caught is exhausting at times.
    Eeeexactly! >_< I mean it seems like we should be able to, right? After all it's the truth! Often professors prompt you to talk about your job/where you work or something of that nature, and it's an honest answer and a legitimate (enough =P) occupation. So, from the outside perspective, it would seem like an answer we should be able to give!

    ...but, for some reason, in that moment, in such a setting, you just can't ignore the pervading sense that to give such an answer would not only be disruptive (at best) but also that you yourself would come off as someone who sought to /be/ disruptive. =/

    But who knows? Maybe people are capable of handling such a situation more maturely than we are giving them credit for. One of us will have to try it out and report back here on the reactions that follow! =P

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    i was open about dancing when i was in college. in my opinion, this is one of those very stupid ideas. like, offering to give someone a lapdance when you're drunk at a party. it's attention-seeking, histrionic behavior, and you're not thinking clearly. whenever you get the urge to tell a professor that you're a dancer, just....i don't know. think of england.

    now, i am open to the people i know about being a dancer, but i do not go around telling strangers while standing in line at starbucks to pass the time. no, ma'am.

    and i only do it for the money.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    I love performing onstage
    I love the money I make
    I love that I can drink on the job-for free
    I love (most) of the dancers I work with and the employees that work at the club
    I even look forward to seeing a few of my favorite customers
    I love getting paid just to talk and hang out
    I hate giving lap dances
    I hate rude/perverted/immature customers
    I hate the days when I dont make enough

    I only keep my stripping job a secret from anyone I go to school with, or most people from my "real" job. My family knows and everyone who matters doesnt give me shit about it because its a "temporary" job. My close relatives even support me looking into burlesque as a hobby in the future.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    I love performing on stage
    I love getting to be a tease all night as a job
    I love the money
    I love that the money gives me great investment opportunities
    I love that shopping for pretty things is tax deductible
    I love it when a few of my regulars come in and their faces just light up
    I love when some asshole tries to touch me in VIP and I hurt him in a way that makes him think it was his fault AND get a bigger tip because of it! Best feeling ever.

    I hate when I have to work late and I'm walking out the club to the sun rising
    I hate rude guys who just try to make you feel bad
    I hate working when I don't feel well because it's such a physical and emotional job
    I hate it when I come home and accidentally tell my husband "no touching" lol

    I'm pretty open about the fact that I'm a dancer. Very rarely is it ever a problem to someone. I do keep it separate from my career for now though. I also keep it separate from a lot of people running my finances. I love dancing in general though and can't wait till my next shift.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    I love it.
    It's the only job where I have an open schedule, get to listen to music all day, get dressed up and drink.

    Of course, like EVERY job, I have my bad days where I wanna just go home.
    For the majority, I love it. I've met great people and the money is usually nice too.

    I have no secrets, my family knows I'm a dancer and everyone supports me and it.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    add on.... I love love love getting dressed up! I'm not really a club girl or very fancy in my day life so I love the opportunity to experiment with eyeshadow, fancy hair, and eyelashes!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    i love everything about it (the hours, the makeup, the dressing up, the flirting, the getting nekkid and even getting touched as long as it's not rough and not my pussy) except the asshole customers, shitty managers, pimps, hookers, and people thinking that a hooker working in a stripclub is the same thing as a stripper.

    i'm gonna be moving soon. tampa is just too much to put up with.

    it's like guys don't even want dances here anymore. they just pay the door fee and buy overpriced drinks so they can say shitty things to girls because they want to make us as miserable as they are.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by tRoUbLeMaKeR View Post
    add on.... I love love love getting dressed up! I'm not really a club girl or very fancy in my day life so I love the opportunity to experiment with eyeshadow, fancy hair, and eyelashes!!
    Actually, yeah, I gotta admit I love this too. I'm a total girly-girl and love watching and trying out new youtube makeup tutorials. A lot of that stuff you just can't get away with doing wearing during the day - bright pink eyeshadow, stuff like that.

    And I've always LOVED sparkley outfits and exaggerated jewelery...Getting dolled up is probably the second highest thing I love about the job (first being teh moniez lolz).



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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    it's attention-seeking, histrionic behavior, and you're not thinking clearly. whenever you get the urge to tell a professor that you're a dancer, just....i don't know.
    See? This is exactly my point. It's a new day, a new age- one in which it would appear the social stigmas attached to dancing are slowly falling away. Apparently, however, that is a more slow-going process than the media would have you believe; there are still many dancers- too many- who feel obligated to hide what they do, or lie about it, or in any way disown it when asked about it.

    Why should we have to lie about what we do when asked that question? Is it because being a stripper is something to be ashamed of? To avoid making others "uncomfortable"? What about your own discomfort when having to dodge questions or just lie, even? Big picture- that should matter more.

    Girls shouldn't be made to feel bad/insecure about being honest about their job. Honestly, it saddens me that there are those among even us who would condemn stripping as something that ought to be apologized for by way of omission. Histrionic? Attention seeking? "Not thinking clearly"? Why is dancing still so stigmatized- even among dancers themselves!- that to disclose your occupation you must literally be out of your mind? o_O

    Perhaps the more girls that leave behind the mentality that being a stripper ought to be a dirty little secret, the sooner society will stop seeing it that way.

    Anyway, discerning from your statement that you "only do it for the money", I'm guessing you're the type of dancer who feels bad/guilty/embarrassed about being a stripper and plans on putting it all behind her one day. And I can't help but see your clarification that you "only do it for the money" as an apology to yourself, if not everyone else, for having ended up in a strip club.

    Of course I could be way off and if I AM wrong, I suggest you give yourself a break and stop feeling that in order to not be seen be as, or engage in "histrionic" and "attention seeking" behavior generally immodest, that you must hide your occupation from the world.
    Last edited by harlequinn; 06-13-2010 at 02:25 AM.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Whoops, double post. Disregard! =P
    Last edited by harlequinn; 06-13-2010 at 07:32 PM.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by DancingDaisy View Post
    I love performing onstage
    I love the money I make
    I love that I can drink on the job-for free
    I love (most) of the dancers I work with and the employees that work at the club
    I even look forward to seeing a few of my favorite customers
    I love getting paid just to talk and hang out
    I hate giving lap dances
    I hate rude/perverted/immature customers
    I hate the days when I dont make enough

    I only keep my stripping job a secret from anyone I go to school with, or most people from my "real" job. My family knows and everyone who matters doesnt give me shit about it because its a "temporary" job. My close relatives even support me looking into burlesque as a hobby in the future.

    That's EXACTLY how i feel about it too. I'm actually even proud of what I do, but more because it feels good to be able to support myself and this is a job that takes some serious skills. I would never tell my family though

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    I work with education in my day job and so I don't discuss my job there. It's not that I'm ashamed of it, but rather, it's not something that is appropriate for a child to overhear. I don't talk about my sex life in front of them either, but that doesn't make me ashamed of it lol.

    As far as being in class goes. Saying, "I dance" is perfectly acceptable. You could also go with, "I work in entertainment" or even "I work in the adult business". I think putting too much detail into what you do when asked in a scholastic setting can be inappropriate just because you are making it harder on others trying to concentrate. I mean, come on, when you are a gorgeous woman hinting that you get naked and become every man's wet dream for a living, you are going to induce a little imagery. What is more interesting, naked sex goddess or the last physics formula the professor went over?

    You have great power, and so you also have great responsibility. Use your powers in moderation.

    I don't believe anyone should be ashamed of what they do, but I do think what we do is so incredibly awesome, that we have to be careful where we divulge such information. It's like wearing a miniskirt in church. Not many men will be able to keep their thoughts on Jesus like they came there to do.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by girlundressed View Post
    I work with education in my day job and so I don't discuss my job there. It's not that I'm ashamed of it, but rather, it's not something that is appropriate for a child to overhear. I don't talk about my sex life in front of them either, but that doesn't make me ashamed of it lol.

    As far as being in class goes. Saying, "I dance" is perfectly acceptable. You could also go with, "I work in entertainment" or even "I work in the adult business". I think putting too much detail into what you do when asked in a scholastic setting can be inappropriate just because you are making it harder on others trying to concentrate. I mean, come on, when you are a gorgeous woman hinting that you get naked and become every man's wet dream for a living, you are going to induce a little imagery. What is more interesting, naked sex goddess or the last physics formula the professor went over?
    If, at the time students are supposed to be concentrating on "formulas" or other such scholastic pursuits, then to offer information about ANY possible occupation would be disruptive and distracting. However, if it is, say, the first day of classes and the professor has decided to devote some class time to students getting to know each other by revealing information about themselves, then students are supposed to be concentrating on /that/.

    Talking about your occupation will not distract students from what they are /supposed/ to be doing- which is hearing about your occupation. o_O

    Now whether or not such an endeavor is a complete waste of time in and of itself is debatable, but in the classroom it is the professor's call, and many times they decide that, for whatever reason, spending time on something like this is somehow worthwhile, and strippers should be able to participate just like everyone else.


    Quote Originally Posted by girlundressed View Post
    I don't believe anyone should be ashamed of what they do, but I do think what we do is so incredibly awesome, that we have to be careful where we divulge such information. It's like wearing a miniskirt in church. Not many men will be able to keep their thoughts on Jesus like they came there to do.
    Not to advocate wearing miniskirts in church lol, but this /is/ the same argument that is used to justify forcing women into burqas...just sayin'...slippery slope. Food for thought. =P
    Last edited by harlequinn; 06-14-2010 at 12:12 AM.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    if you want to tell your classmates that you're a sex worker, okay.

    if you want to be a sex worker for the rest of your life, okay.

    apparently, you made this thread to get responses that were what you wanted to hear, which is also okay.

    know that it is okay for anyone, dancer or non-dancer, not to tell strangers what they do for a living.

    it is also okay for anyone, dancer or non-dancer, to do their job just for the money.

    it is also okay for anyone in the sex industry not to tell strangers that they work in the sex industry.

    it is also okay for anyone in the sex industry to not want to work in the sex industry forever.

    so i didn't respond with what you wanted to hear, and you will need to accept that some people feel differently about things, this job particularly, than others. okay? okay.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    if you want to tell your classmates that you're a sex worker, okay.

    if you want to be a sex worker for the rest of your life, okay.

    apparently, you made this thread to get responses that were what you wanted to hear, which is also okay.

    know that it is okay for anyone, dancer or non-dancer, not to tell strangers what they do for a living.

    it is also okay for anyone, dancer or non-dancer, to do their job just for the money.

    it is also okay for anyone in the sex industry not to tell strangers that they work in the sex industry.

    it is also okay for anyone in the sex industry to not want to work in the sex industry forever.

    so i didn't respond with what you wanted to hear, and you will need to accept that some people feel differently about things, this job particularly, than others. okay? okay.
    Um, I assume that these comments are directed towards me, and to that I say I'm sorry if you took offense to my response to your original post, but I don't see where you get the idea that I do not agree with everything you just said. o_O

    The only thing that I feel is NOT ok, is to judge or otherwise belittle fellow dancers for embracing what they do enough to feel comfortable revealing it (for shame! =O) in public.

    Apparently you missed the part where I said that I myself have never been comfortable disclosing my occupation in school because of the permeating sense that to do so would be disruptive, even though, when looked it impartially, it should not have to be.

    I was not attacking you, nor saying that you MUST be ashamed of your profession in order to have such an opinion. Or that even if you ARE ashamed that you are not entitled to your shame! By all means, feel free to hang your head at the thought of someone discovering that you are a "sex worker". However, that does not mean others must do the same.

    And just as keeping quiet about your profession does not necessarily mean that you are embarrassed by or ashamed of what you do, being open about it does not necessarily make one histrionic or attention-seeking. In fact, to be honest, I think your labeling others as such is somewhat inflammatory, which may be what you picked up on that prompted you to respond with a hostile/defensive tone.

    In fact, to be /perfectly/ honest- and this is purely opinion and nothing more- I feel that mindsets such as yours are anything but progressive, and serve only to hold us back as we attempt to advance into the 21st century and be recognized for the legitimately employed, hard-working citizens that we are. I fear it may be particularly detrimental/counter-productive when such beliefs are espoused by dancers themselves. That is something I view as being disheartening and sad... =/

    As far as getting the responses I "want to hear", this whole 'owning-up in class' thing is actually something of a non sequitur or by-product of my original question, which asks both what is it we love AND what is it we do not love about being dancers.

    In fact, this thread is about recognizing the almost inherent duality in a dancer's self-image- it doesn't have to be "all good", and I'm interested in any and all opinions held by dancers. I recognize the fact that many of us have our reservations about being dancers, and that is O.K.- I do, however, think we should draw the line at projecting these personal hang-ups onto fellow dancers. Okay? Okay.
    Last edited by harlequinn; 06-14-2010 at 01:42 AM.

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    Default Re: Strippers and Stripping: A love-hate relationship

    bless this board for having an ignore list.

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