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Thread: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

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    Senior Member sbeezy305's Avatar
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    Mind Blowing Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    it's time for a rant, i've been touring almost the whole last month so just the repetition has made me think about these following things that drive me nuts. and i few things i like

    i hate a nervous client (you actin' funny, u wearing a wire?)
    i hate a client who knocks on the hotel door even though its propped open (good being discreet)
    i hate a late client (bitch! i wanna start ur time at 4:00 even tho u got here at 4:20)
    i hate a client who wants to get "two cups"
    i hate a client who wants to get "two cups" but waits til 10 minutes left in the session to get the second cup
    i hate a client who is too nosy
    i hate a client who asks me for my real first name (Nunya)
    i hate a client who asks me if i have a boyfriend (u aint being slick, i know ur asking if i have a pimp)
    i hate a client who asks me how long i've been doing this (why u wanna know how many times my pussy been beat down?)
    i hate a client who wants u to get in the shower with them (bitch! i just jumped out the shower and im clean and i just did my makeup)
    i hate a client who tries to hold a review over your head
    i hate a client who wants BB
    i hate a client when im touring that says "you must make a LOT in miami" (yeah thats why im halfway across the country, dumbass)
    i hate a client who agrees to the set price, gets to your incall and says "i only have $x" (better put that shit in the gas tank and turn around)
    i hate a client who says "i want to give you pleasure too" (let me just make you nut so i can go back to playing online)
    i hate a client who moans your name (oooh britney oooh britney...STFU)
    i hate that only my left nipple gets sucked (half sore titties)
    i hate a client that wants u to play with their ass (you know this is the only way they gonna get off, fruity froo ass)
    i hate a client that asks if u a cop (yeah i been posting with the same number for ages and locked hella people up but no ones reported my number)
    i hate a client, that won't take the address of your incall but wants to call you every 5 minutes for directions
    i hate a client that has stubble on his face (shave your shit)
    i hate a client that doesnt kiss rather just rolls their tongue on your lips (where they do that at)
    i hate a client that says 'jeez, youre tall' (u aint seen it says im 5'9")
    i hate a client that has to cancel because traffic was bad (it is every day at 5:30)
    i hate when a client smells like smoke/food
    i hate when a client has too many motherfuckin' requests
    i hate a client on coke
    i hate when a client says anything about the money at all ("im gonna leave this right here", "let me just get this for you", "here's your money")
    i hate when a client doesn't understand what the word discreet means (it doesn't mean you're quiet and nonchalant coming into my incall. it means don't talk about sex in exchange for money, stupid fucking idiot)
    i hate when a client asks if u can wear something slutty to his house esp. if he lives in a nice area/complex (have some respect mothafucka)
    i hate a gated community where i have to show ID to get in
    i hate when someone cancels when im already on my way to an outcall
    i hate when they ask if i have a driver (bitch this dade county, only like 30% of people have their drivers license, and why u wanna know? u gonna try to kill me or some shit?)
    i hate a client that makes you feel awkward
    i hate a client all up in my tattoos (whats this mean/that mean)
    i hate a client thst doesnt make any noise/feedback (tell/show me what u like)
    i hate a regular that thinks they should get a discount
    i hate a client that asks for a discount, period
    i hate when im sucking the dick, i get it hard, they say "i wanna fuck" first sign of the condom, the dick goes soft. (come on now i dont have time for this shit)
    i hate when a client knows theyre not gonna cum from something but let u do it forever
    i hate when a client wants to be your friend (stop texting me, we're not friends, u trying to make an appointment? no? well im busy, bye)
    i hate when a client is like "ooh yeah right there keep doing that" and then not come (i been jacking your dick for 30 minutes, stop squirming and moaning)
    i hate a client that wants a massage (bitch do i post body rubs?)

    things i like
    i like when the client gets a multi hour and leaves early
    i like when the client wants two cups and comes fast both times
    i like when the client gives me more money (accidently or on purpose)
    i like when the client just wants to get down to it, fuck the small talk
    i like when the client nuts from just getting head and i don't have to fuck
    i like when i can make the client laugh or they make me laugh
    i like when they just put the money somewhere i see it
    i like a client that tells u 'take your time, im not gonna cancel' when youre going to an outcall
    i like a client that brings you a gift
    i like when an old regular calls me and finds me again
    i like when i have a call that smokes weed
    i like when i ride with a friend to a call, and he ends up wanting a two girl
    i like when the client is kind of cute
    i like when the client can eat my pussy well
    i like when the client is on time
    i like when you can tell the client had a good time

    im sure theres more but these were just the ones on top of my head!

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  3. #2
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Your I hate list is so funny but so true hehehe!

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    Veteran Member alexa111's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Very true!! Back when I was an escort (only did it for like a yr and a half) I hated guys who spent the whole session asking if i was cumming for real, staring at my face trying to see if i was "really" into it or not, and constantly trying to make me cum instead of laying back relaxing and just enjoying it. It's nice that they wanna please me, but come on if i say i came then dont sit there and question it! Ack i swear thats one of the reasons I quit Lol

    alexacruz.shakinit.com



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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Lol I've got some:

    *bad breath
    *guys that show up with VISIBLE GENITAL WARTS and get mad when I tell them to leave!!
    *really old guys who ask me what i was like in high school and when i lost my virginity
    *the guys that flip out if you answer your phone 1 minute late for the appt. and tell the whole world that you "almost no-called, no showed"
    *the guys that "accidentally forget" what my donation was

    ....and everything else that's been said, lol!!

    Things I like: *$$ (but camming is def. sounding good right now!!)
    *playing dress up *the rare cute guy that comes in less than 1% of the time

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    Senior Member sbeezy305's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Quote Originally Posted by yellowrose25 View Post
    Lol I've got some:

    *the rare cute guy that comes in less than 1% of the time
    hell yeah like this ever happens but when it does you shut ur door and do a little dance like thaaank you jeeesus lol

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    Banned malayataylor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    lol........

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    Moderator Miss_McKenna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Sorry I have to ask but, whats "two cups"?

    *blonde moment*


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    Featured Member wanderlust08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    So *not* a blonde moment, it's code...I had a client email me once to ask if I allowed "multiple cups of coffee" and I was like, "WTF why does he want to have coffee with me???"

    But...it means the guy wants to cum twice. AKA the bane of my entire escorting career. I hate hate hate hate HATE guys who pull that shit. Half the time they can't and they'd just be wasting my time. UGH! So glad I'm retired!

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    Senior Member sbeezy305's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    oh the codes...haha "would you like to travel to the greek isles and have multiple cups of coffee? We could dine-at-the-Y, and I will bring you 200 roses. Afterwards, I have a french lesson, my little girl-friend experience" lol
    (for those who dont know, greek=anal, "cups"- orgasms (for the male), dine at the Y (eat pussy) roses=money, french lesson=blow job girl-friend experience= a close and personal session with an escort

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    Featured Member wanderlust08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Quote Originally Posted by sbeezy305 View Post
    oh the codes...haha "would you like to travel to the greek isles and have multiple cups of coffee? We could dine-at-the-Y, and I will bring you 200 roses. Afterwards, I have a french lesson, my little girl-friend experience" lol
    (for those who dont know, greek=anal, "cups"- orgasms (for the male), dine at the Y (eat pussy) roses=money, french lesson=blow job girl-friend experience= a close and personal session with an escort
    The "code" is stupid IMO, I don't like having cutesy little names for sex acts with a fat drooling sloppy bastard, it doesn't make it any more fun. And I don't know who came up with those codes either!!!!!

    The worst code word of all, by far, in my opinion, is "asian".

    It turns my stomach to hear it. The first time I heard it I was 18 years old and on my second appointment, EVER. I obviously didn't know what it meant, and as I listened to this man in his 50's explain it to me, I wanted to throw up. On him.

    What's the code word for that???

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    Moderator Miss_McKenna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Now I'm curious what "asian" is!!


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    Featured Member wanderlust08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Well...to put it bluntly, your tongue, customer's

    I'd rather shoot myself in the fact then do THAT, thanks. LOL.

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    Veteran Member CaseyLace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    This list is freaking awesome. Props to you.

    Also, as a funny side note... I once had a client ask me if I 'spoke greek'. I say hell no, and he says okay come over anyway. Blah Blah a few hours later I get to his house and he REALLY wants a girl that speaks the language. WTF. Ha.

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    Senior Member sbeezy305's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    I HATE when a client writes in a review "she was bigger in her hips and thighs than i expected" I swear this is in most of my reviews, I don't try to hide shit in my pics, its called being THICK!!!! fuck! lol Do I advertise as a spinner! NOO! I advertise as 5'9", statuesque, tall, long legs...I mean come on if u don't want a girl who is over 6" in heels then don't call me!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAH lol

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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    lol .. that word "spinner" KILLS ME!

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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Lmao trust me be glad you're not considered a "spinner" because when you get a really fat guy and u can't spin around on his you know what they'll write a bad review for that!!!



    quote=sbeezy305;1946551]I HATE when a client writes in a review "she was bigger in her hips and thighs than i expected" I swear this is in most of my reviews, I don't try to hide shit in my pics, its called being THICK!!!! fuck! lol Do I advertise as a spinner! NOO! I advertise as 5'9", statuesque, tall, long legs...I mean come on if u don't want a girl who is over 6" in heels then don't call me!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAH lol[/quote]

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    Banned malayataylor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yellowrose25 View Post
    Lmao trust me be glad you're not considered a "spinner" because when you get a really fat guy and u can't spin around on his you know what they'll write a bad review for that!!!

    True!! LMAO!!! That is such a bad picture you just painted.. ha!

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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Ahh well I guess I'll make my own list. I really can't complain.. alot of the things that bother yall don't bother me much though there are a few things that urk me so this brings me to my likes.. or should i say Loves!

    I love when I get that email requesting an overnight appointment
    I love when I get a deposit for a really long appointments
    I love when my clients by me nice things (Jewelry, Perfume..(Christian Jadore Dior especially)
    I love when my clients put my needs before their own
    I love being wined and dined at the finest restaurants
    I love going to the strip clubs with my clients and checking out girls(SO MUCH FUN)
    I went to carowinds with one of my clients last week and I had a BLAST. He paid me to go with him AND I got a season pass.
    I love the thrill I feel before I meet my client and how powerful I feel when I leave him.
    I love being able to pay my rent for two months after an overnight.
    My clients are usually older.. I LOVE when I get a really FINE client.. mm mmm mmm mm

    I love when my clients emails to let me know about a bust in a nearby city.
    I love when my client is well endowed... lol.. Yeah

    *sigh* I fucking love my job!

  26. #19
    Senior Member sbeezy305's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    LOL i hate 'spinner' too! It reminds me of the word spindly or spider lol. What does it mean u can 'spin' on his dick? Like i've never known, like u bring tyour legs up on top and the guy spins u around?? I've never seen such a thing and find it hard to imagine...lol...i don't think being able to ride in a circle has anything to do with being short lol...am i missing something???? LMFAO

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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Hell I'm 5'8 1/2 ...AND I'm a spinner!..... NOT! lol!

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    Moderator Miss_McKenna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    I had a dude one time say that I probably wasn't old enough to know what it was, but had anyone ever called me a spinner before? My response: not to my face!


  29. #22
    Veteran Member Obenta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    "Spinner" usualy refers to a chick that is small/slim...gives the idea that the guy could "spin" her around on his dick because she is very petite. Spinner, I am not. haha

    I've recently been reading these threads, as I've changed professions in the last year to this. (I know, I haven't posted much)

    Hmm... let's see...

    Things I love...

    Cleanliness and personality/mindset go a long way, so...
    - A client who is clean as a whistle and seems genuinely happy to be there
    - Multi-hour clients
    - Don't ask me my real name, etc. Just enjoy the time we spend.
    - Bring gifts, especially thoughtful ones.
    - Tippers
    - Those who DON'T take Viagara! (makes it take FOREVER for them to finish/have a hard time/can't. WTF)
    - Fun clients who don't take it all too seriously
    - Those who are experienced and understand the business, which means they are impeccably clean, don't ask or do stupid things, leave on time and just enjoy it for what it is!
    - Clients that are really good at what they do! ~
    - Clients who are well-endowed and know how to use it! ~

    Things I hate:
    - Late clients. You're not the only visitor today (even though I may make you think that). If you fuck up my schedule too much, you'll have to reschedule!
    - Early clients. You're not the only visitor today. I need time between dates or I want to eat lunch, take a poo or for whatever reason I am not ready for our appointment 20 mins early. WTF. Calm down. You'll get yours...at your scheduled time!
    - Those who get too attached. (This is my job, not my life and I don't want a bf anyway! I must be good at my job...)
    - Those who take Viagara! Lower your dose so you can finish some time this year dude!
    - Those who are not well-endowed AND don't know how to use it or DATY.
    - ED sufferers who are in denial about the situation, so you're working on it forever with little results. See a Dr. about your issues or help me out here! Don't leave me guessing/figuring out for 30mins how to make you hard. Dang. It's your dick, you know the deal better than me! Help a girl out.
    - The "no-feedback" guys. I need to know what you like in order to do what you want. Let me know if you like what I'm doing, and if there's something better (for you) I could be doing, let me know. I'm not a mind-reader (but close!)

    Maybe I'll add more later

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  31. #23
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    ^ Too funny!

  32. #24
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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    I like this thread!

    -I hate it when they won't leave my incall after their time is up and I have to practically force them out the door.
    -I hate when they cancel at the last minute, or pull a no-call, no-show.
    -I hate when they try to bargain with me over my rates, which are already very reasonable. It doesn't help that there are lots of unattractive girls on the net offering "quickies" for 40 or 50 bucks!
    -I hate when they try to push for bareback
    -I hate when they touch my hair
    -I hate when they don't talk much and I have to make all the conversation

    -I love guys who cum fast and then leave right away. Easy money! LOL
    -I love guys who ask "Can I bring anything?" and are just generally nice and respectful
    -I love guys who tip extra on top of my donation rate






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    Default Re: Escorting Rant: Things I hate/like

    Quote Originally Posted by blondhottie View Post

    -I love guys who cum fast and then leave right away. Easy money! LOL
    -I love guys who ask "Can I bring anything?" and are just generally nice and respectful
    -I love guys who tip extra on top of my donation rate
    me tooo!!

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