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Thread: More one liners...

  1. #51
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    Quote Originally Posted by drunkidcatholic View Post
    i feel like they're have been quite a few times lately where i'll introduce myself to a customer and he'll immediately ask right off the bat "so whats your real name?" (which i think is an obnoxious thing for a customer to ask right off the bat because what would be the entire point of a stage name) so ill usually respond by saying "that costs extra" or i'll look them right in the eyes and say with a deadpan (but ever so slightly sarcastic demeanor) "my real name is Gertrude"
    next time lower your voice and say, "my name is Dave."

  2. #52
    Senior Member Sapphire9's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    ^ LOL
    In the words of Lil Wayne, "Confidence is the stain they can't wipe off"

  3. #53
    Senior Member xNatashax's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    Quote Originally Posted by anouk.oui View Post
    when i get asked if i have a bf i just say "yeah..... a couple. girls too. its all pretty casual' and just make up stories about great threesomes and lesbian orgies you had together. swear for me its the only answer that works
    Thats exactly what I say!

    Well, I usually say when they ask me if I have a bf "Yeah... and a few gfs " I'm open to that kind stuff so I'm not completely lying. We should push for more doubles together and I'll say your one of my playmates, and vise versa.

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  5. #54
    Veteran Member melb_oz_n00b's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    I'm new and suck at putting my clothes back on. I always fumble with the clasps and put my underwear on upside down, or I lose my g-string somewhere in the dark LD room. Now, to keep them there long enough so I can walk them out, I tell them I don't like to hurry people, so they can just chill for a minute while I get dressed. Then, when I'm obviously struggling with my clothes (my biggest bank outfits are the most fiddly), I make a crack about being great at taking it off but terrible at putting it back on.

    Or, when their song ends and I'm naked on their lap, I say I want to keep going, not just for the money, but because it's such a pain getting dressed again. I mention that last time I put my g-string on upside down. Usually gets a laugh.

    Also, I'm generally a fan of dorky humour. I worried at first that my jokes weren't ladylike, and that I might spoil the fantasy, but I find it relaxes the customer. I often wear glasses. I'm also a country girl, and grew up on a farm. So when they compliment my glasses, I say 'Thanks, I'm actually a total bogan, the glasses are just a disguise.' (Bogan = redneck.) I don't know if it works this way in the States, but many Aussies - even the classier ones - love a self-deprecating bogan.

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    Default Re: More one liners...

    I have a line for when I'm getting dressed after a dance. As I pull my string up I tell the customer 'I really need to learn a reverse strip - whaddaya think?' and then I wiggle my ass a little. That gets a laugh so then they're warmed up for me to ask if I earned a little tip.

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  8. #56
    Member MissTyler's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    The best one I've found on here was "My parents aren't home. You wanna come to my room and play with me?" (As you point to the VIP room).

    It has literally worked EVERY TIME for me.

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  10. #57
    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    Basically I play on the idea of kidnapping them, and asking them should I kidnap them is a creative way around asking for a dance-- also, when a guy isn't ready they can "schedule" to be kidnapped and so long as another girl doesn't cut me off this lets me go work the room for awhile and circle back.

    When it comes to keeping them back, I tell them we should do a second one, what do they think? Then when the third rolls around I ask if they want to do magic number three? Fantastic number four? Fiendish number five? Sassy six? Scandalous seven?

    I believe I've gotten up to sixteen before, but most guys I can easily do 2-5.

    When I start to feel their focus flagging and I know they want to go back to the floor soon, I ask if I should keep them captive a little longer or release them back into the wild. I normally get one more song out of them, and giving them a little break makes them feel (to my mind) like I'm not trying to suck them dry, or that I'm going to completely ignore them once they're on the floor (never do that. Never ever, unless they're totally handsy or it's so busy and they were crap cheap when it came to tipping. It always works well to circle back, give them a little hug, kiss on the cheek, or mini neck rub, say thanks, ask if the other girls are being nice, and later you can ask them if they're ready again. Often times (for me) a guy who's danced with me before in the night, after a couple more beers is good for at least two more songs.

    And if they have friends, coming back to say thanks and getting the guy to act like you're the hottest girl ever is oh-so-good for getting the other guys to try you out. Groups of Mexican guys are perfect for this reason, and I also find white guys in their forties know the score and know none of them are going to take me home and so they're not stepping on the first guys feet if they go back with me. I rarely put more than a token effort to hustle groups when it comes to other types of guys since it hasn't panned out for me with younger or older white guys, black guys of any age, and the rare asian group.

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  12. #58
    Member Sierra30's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    Quote Originally Posted by danie View Post
    Customer "when do you dance next?"
    Me "right now.. for you, in the back room!"
    I sooooo need to remember that one. :-)
    Sierra
    "WHAT DEFINES YOU IS NOT WHAT YOU DO BUT HOW YOU GET UP AFTER YOU FALL"

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  14. #59
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    "Say hello to my little friends!"
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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  16. #60
    Member Sierra30's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    Quote Originally Posted by FiendishGyrator View Post
    Basically I play on the idea of kidnapping them, and asking them should I kidnap them is a creative way around asking for a dance-- also, when a guy isn't ready they can "schedule" to be kidnapped and so long as another girl doesn't cut me off this lets me go work the room for awhile and circle back.

    When it comes to keeping them back, I tell them we should do a second one, what do they think? Then when the third rolls around I ask if they want to do magic number three? Fantastic number four? Fiendish number five? Sassy six? Scandalous seven?

    I believe I've gotten up to sixteen before, but most guys I can easily do 2-5.

    When I start to feel their focus flagging and I know they want to go back to the floor soon, I ask if I should keep them captive a little longer or release them back into the wild. I normally get one more song out of them, and giving them a little break makes them feel (to my mind) like I'm not trying to suck them dry, or that I'm going to completely ignore them once they're on the floor (never do that. Never ever, unless they're totally handsy or it's so busy and they were crap cheap when it came to tipping. It always works well to circle back, give them a little hug, kiss on the cheek, or mini neck rub, say thanks, ask if the other girls are being nice, and later you can ask them if they're ready again. Often times (for me) a guy who's danced with me before in the night, after a couple more beers is good for at least two more songs.

    And if they have friends, coming back to say thanks and getting the guy to act like you're the hottest girl ever is oh-so-good for getting the other guys to try you out. Groups of Mexican guys are perfect for this reason, and I also find white guys in their forties know the score and know none of them are going to take me home and so they're not stepping on the first guys feet if they go back with me. I rarely put more than a token effort to hustle groups when it comes to other types of guys since it hasn't panned out for me with younger or older white guys, black guys of any age, and the rare asian group.

    See that wouldn't work in my club although its a fantastic idea.....if the guy wants a second one, we have to stop, and I have to go pay the door guy(or DJ depending on whether or not we have a door guy that night which is allllll the way across the club) and then I have to come back...and usually, I'm stark nekkid so I can't go walking around the bar nekkid....my clubs dances is single for $35, 15 minute VIP FOR $70 or 30 minutes for $140....guys are generally easy to get in the rooms but its a pain to ask for anymore after you do a single.....so I just continually sell the 15 and 30 minute courts.....
    Sierra
    "WHAT DEFINES YOU IS NOT WHAT YOU DO BUT HOW YOU GET UP AFTER YOU FALL"

  17. #61
    Member Sierra30's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    Quote Originally Posted by teaze View Post
    If I'm feeling lazy about hustling with a conversation or unsure if I'm a guys type I say, "So, why aren't you in the back with me?!" with a smile on my face. I used this line 3 times last night and we went straight to the back haha.
    I am SO gonna use this tonight....
    Sierra
    "WHAT DEFINES YOU IS NOT WHAT YOU DO BUT HOW YOU GET UP AFTER YOU FALL"

  18. #62
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    "Who needs some boobies with their beer!"
    "Titties! Get em while they're still hot!"

    *Squeezes awesome boobies in customer's face* if the above doesn't do it

    "They're certified organic! No artificial additives or preservatives!"
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

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  20. #63
    Veteran Member NakedNicole's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    During the small talk, say to the guy : "You know I used to work on a chicken farm."
    Customer : "oh really?''
    Me: " Yea, I'm really good at raising cocks....can I raise yours?''

    Me: " Guess what, I just heard that you burn 30 calories a minute doing lapdances. How bout you come back and be my personal trainer?"

    Me: " Research shows that men's chances of having a heart attack drops 30% if he views women's breasts for 20 minutes each day. Now could you just imagine how healthy you would be if you touched them too? Now follow me, your doctor will thank me later."

    Me: " So...the word of the day is LEGS. I want you to take me in the back and help me spread the word of the day."

    Me: " I haven't done any dances yet, will you take my dance virginity?''

    ( The following works best if you are of a differing race than the customer you are speaking to)
    For example if I am white and I approach a black man I will introduce myself and then say " well its nice to meet you Kanye. By the way Kanye, what is your favorite color?" Him : " My favorite color is Red." Me : " Reds nice, but my favorite color is African American." Or if you are a non white girl, you could approach a white guy and use the same set up but just say "My favorite color is Caucasian. This is a fun line to use and guys think cute and funny.

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  22. #64
    Veteran Member NakedNicole's Avatar
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    During the small talk, say to the guy : "You know I used to work on a chicken farm."
    Customer : "oh really?''
    Me: " Yea, I'm really good at raising cocks....can I raise yours?''

    Me: " Guess what, I just heard that you burn 30 calories a minute doing lapdances. How bout you come back and be my personal trainer?"

    Me: " Research shows that men's chances of having a heart attack drops 30% if he views women's breasts for 20 minutes each day. Now could you just imagine how healthy you would be if you touched them too? Now follow me, your doctor will thank me later."

    Me: " So...the word of the day is LEGS. I want you to take me in the back and help me spread the word of the day."

    Me: " I haven't done any dances yet, will you take my dance virginity?''

    ( The following works best if you are of a differing race than the customer you are speaking to)
    For example if I am white and I approach a black man I will introduce myself and then say " well its nice to meet you Kanye. By the way Kanye, what is your favorite color?" Him : " My favorite color is Red." Me : " Reds nice, but my favorite color is African American." Or if you are a non white girl, you could approach a white guy and use the same set up but just say "My favorite color is Caucasian. This is a fun line to use and guys think cute and funny.

  23. #65
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    Default Re: More one liners...

    Quote Originally Posted by xGigi View Post
    you can also lie and say you have a boyfriend. I have a higher success rate of getting lap dances when I tell guys I'm not single. it'll weed out the time wasters. plus guys love a little sass so when the guy inevitably says "your boyfriend doesn't care that you do this?" I say "he doesn't pay my damn bills!" and the guy laughs and THEN it clicks that you're at WORK, you're not taking your clothes off because you like to.
    I totally agree with this. I'll never tell a customer I'm single because 1) it breaks the fantasy. you're at work, you're the magic beautiful lady on his lap RIGHT NOW, thinking about you out of the club breaks the dynamic 2) Setting a boundary keeps them trying to impress you (with money) and seeming unavailable makes you more valuable. It comes from the rules of the Game. That stuff works! 3) It's nice to be able to flirt with them, cheekily pretend they are obviously madly in love with you. The boyfriend convo interferes with that.

    When customers ask me if I'm single, I just avoid the question. Or, I'll say, "My boyfriends take me to VIP" and giggle a little. Usually after that I can just take their hand and walk to the VIP.

    I like to encourage guys to tip me. If they pay me for a dance with a nice tip, I'll say "Carefully baby, I might fall in love"

    If I've already danced for a guy I might reapproach him after a while and say, "Miss me yet? I knew you would! Let's go on another date " and walk to VIP.

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