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Thread: Custy Mythology

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Custy Mythology

    Over time I have come across a lot of fact, fiction and urban legends relating to custies on this and other sites. In the interest of fun, I thought that I’d compile some of the more interesting theories that I have come across and share my humble opinions relating to them. This is just a starter list and feel free to add, take shots, etc.

    1. He is there for the fantasy – he wants to be close to the unattainable.

    Really? This may be true for the casual clubber or for a slice of PLs, but a majority of us have a variety of other motivations, from seeing lots of T&A to more frowned upon intentions. Also, plenty of guys in the clubs I frequent have hot girlfriends or wives, including me, though I must admit that my hot wife is also my age (40), so I do not mind seeing fun girls 10-15 years younger than us

    2. If he needs to see his options before he buys a dance than he is just cheap or broke.

    Maybe true in some cases, but certainly not all. I am a shopper and it takes me time to settle on one girl, but when I do then it is generally a good night for her. I know others that feel the same way. IMHO this is a complaint most often posted by “wanna dance” girls with limited sales skills, but opinions might vary on this.

    3. Guys like and/or spend more on girls with big breasts.

    Opinions vary on this one. I for one hate implants (no offense to anyone) and love small natural perky breasts, particularly combined with a narrow waist and flaring hips. IMO there are too many implants in the clubs nowadays and a girl with tits that look inflated and stiff are a definite turnoff for me. I definitely believe that there are a fair number of guys that either have my preference or are ambivalent to breast size if she is sexy enough otherwise.

    4. A good way to sell a dance is to “tell him” that he is going to buy a dance.

    I see this advice posted a lot from girls working in Vegas clubs. That may work in Vegas, but let’s hope that “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Try that shit in NYC and see how that works out for you. More times than not you are likely to hear some variant of “get the fuck out of here.” I’d also be fascinated to see that tried in the clubs I frequent in the South. Same comments hold true for the old un-requested table dance and charge gimmick.

    5. Keep moving and if he doesn’t immediately buy a dance move to the next target.

    I understand this philosophy, but IME this varies a lot by club and region. If you are working in a high volume, high-end club then this might be the right approach (again thinking of Vegas), but in the mid-tier local clubs I have never seen this approach work. Personally I need to get to know a girl a little before I start to spend on her. My opinion seems to be shared by many of the other custies postings on this thing, which should say something since many of these guys are hard core junkies that don’t mind opening their wallets in a club.

    6. Guys are all pigs looking for sex/extras

    Hmmm – actually hard to argue this one

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Six come closer to the truth than the five preceding it.

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Since not ever guy is like every other guy, I'll chime in with what works with me. Dancers that don't understand that different guys act differently don't really get that not everyone in a marketplace is the same.

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Over time I have come across a lot of fact, fiction and urban legends relating to custies on this and other sites. In the interest of fun, I thought that I’d compile some of the more interesting theories that I have come across and share my humble opinions relating to them. This is just a starter list and feel free to add, take shots, etc.

    1. He is there for the fantasy – he wants to be close to the unattainable.

    Really? This may be true for the casual clubber or for a slice of PLs, but a majority of us have a variety of other motivations, from seeing lots of T&A to more frowned upon intentions. Also, plenty of guys in the clubs I frequent have hot girlfriends or wives, including me, though I must admit that my hot wife is also my age (40), so I do not mind seeing fun girls 10-15 years younger than us
    While I do like to look, I also am interested in a girl that can hold a conversation and not just act like the stereotypical "valley girl."

    Personally, my favorite dancers are those that can carry a conversation and are closer to my age. If all she does is show up and act like she just got out of high school in the past year, she's not making any money from me.

    I met a girl out in ABQ that had a selling point to me that she had just turned 18. Bad move. The day before, I had just turned 41. I told her to move along.

    I met a different girl in ABQ a couple of nights later at one of the TD clubs that said she was 34, could hold a great conversation, looked awesome, and basically had me drooling. She said that she worked at Treasure's in Vegas, but I never did find her at Treasure's. I'm going to try again in my next trip to Vegas.

    In Vegas, I met a girl that was my age. She looked awesome. She showed me her driver's license so I think she was telling the truth. She could hold a conversation. We talked a lot otc. When I go back, I'll try and look her up. Great lady.

    My former fave in Atlanta was about 30 when I met her. She could hold a conversation, was fun, and teasing all at the same time.

    Lesson that a dancer can take from this is that if you want me to spend money in VIP, you should be able to hold a conversation. I'm not willing to be stuck with a moron for an hour.

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    2. If he needs to see his options before he buys a dance than he is just cheap or broke.

    Maybe true in some cases, but certainly not all. I am a shopper and it takes me time to settle on one girl, but when I do then it is generally a good night for her. I know others that feel the same way. IMHO this is a complaint most often posted by “wanna dance” girls with limited sales skills, but opinions might vary on this.
    Agreed. I want to see what's available. If some dancer hassles me over "wanta dance" and keeps hassling me, guess what, I know the dance/vip time will be horrible. All she will do is whine.

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    3. Guys like and/or spend more on girls with big breasts.

    Opinions vary on this one. I for one hate implants (no offense to anyone) and love small natural perky breasts, particularly combined with a narrow waist and flaring hips. IMO there are too many implants in the clubs nowadays and a girl with tits that look inflated and stiff are a definite turnoff for me. I definitely believe that there are a fair number of guys that either have my preference or are ambivalent to breast size if she is sexy enough otherwise.
    Breasts are good. For me, bigger is better. However, its not as important as can she have a conversation. Now, I'm not giving it up for a chick with an A cup either. I remember approaching a girl at the pp that was exactly what I wanted regarding breast and body type. She was absolutely perfect. I went with a full hour in VIP. It was absolutely, the worst experience I have ever had in a club.

    Lesson: If you want money from me, your conversation skills are more important than your cup size.

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    4. A good way to sell a dance is to “tell him” that he is going to buy a dance.

    I see this advice posted a lot from girls working in Vegas clubs. That may work in Vegas, but let’s hope that “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Try that shit in NYC and see how that works out for you. More times than not you are likely to hear some variant of “get the fuck out of here.” I’d also be fascinated to see that tried in the clubs I frequent in the South. Same comments hold true for the old un-requested table dance and charge gimmick.
    If a dancer tells me that I am going to get a dance, it isn't happening. Just move along little girl. Don't test me or try and push me around. Sorry, its just not happening.
    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    5. Keep moving and if he doesn’t immediately buy a dance move to the next target.

    I understand this philosophy, but IME this varies a lot by club and region. If you are working in a high volume, high-end club then this might be the right approach (again thinking of Vegas), but in the mid-tier local clubs I have never seen this approach work. Personally I need to get to know a girl a little before I start to spend on her. My opinion seems to be shared by many of the other custies postings on this thing, which should say something since many of these guys are hard core junkies that don’t mind opening their wallets in a club.
    If the club is packed, I understand this need to move along and trying to make money. More targets mean more money. The dancer version of the Jedi Mind Trick doesn't work here, sorry.

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    6. Guys are all pigs looking for sex/extras

    Hmmm – actually hard to argue this one
    Hmm, actually, I'm not going to pull my dick out in the vip. I'm not going to try and stick my fingers/hand in a dancer's private parts. I'm not going to try and bite her, slap her hard, or pinch and twist hard. I'm not going to ask you to leave the club with me. I realize that a lot of guys are, but not everyone is.

    PS. licking a dancer's nipples is not an extra, its part of the gig.
    Have we not heard the chimes at midnight?

    Once more, unto the breach, dear friends.

    If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

    -- Its always amazed me how no one learns the lines from Shakespeare. I guess it is true that people don't learn history's lessons until something become's their history.

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Yea - That whole "we are selling a fantasy" thing is LOL hilarious. I don't know where that BS ever started.

    Guys are there to look at and get dances from semi-nude or nude women. No fantasy about it.
    If there are no strip clubs in heaven, I'm not going.

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    Senior Member fuzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    6. Guys are all pigs looking for sex/extras

    Hmmm – actually hard to argue this one
    And dancers are looking to sell more LD/VIPs. However, just because I'm looking for sex doesn't mean I'm not going to show restraint while I'm in the club. Sexual assault is sexual assault.
    If I had a warning sticker, what would it say?

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    rick,

    Your rebuttals to each of these "theories" makes sense to me. The customer base is too diverse to be able to group everyone onto one neat little package of predictable behavior. I think most dancer's wish it were that easy.

    Seems like every single one of those "theories" is utter bullshit.

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzz View Post
    And dancers are looking to sell more LD/VIPs. However, just because I'm looking for sex doesn't mean I'm not going to show restraint while I'm in the club. Sexual assault is sexual assault.
    Agreed and good point IMO. Trying to do edgier things that are not clearly understood and agreed to by both parties is just stupid. And assaulting a girl who is just trying to give a dance is cruel, though I'm not sure how we got from a guy looking for extras/sex to sexual assault.


    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    Your rebuttals to each of these "theories" makes sense to me. The customer base is too diverse to be able to group everyone onto one neat little package of predictable behavior. I think most dancer's wish it were that easy.

    Seems like every single one of those "theories" is utter bullshit.
    Thanks and agree completely. Now obviously there are custies with varying opinions on each of these points, but I tried to capture some of the most common myths and provide opinions that I think are shared by many (but certainly not all) of the custies. I think that some of these myths fall into the category of "wishful thinking."
    Last edited by rickdugan; 06-24-2010 at 03:43 PM.

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    I still haven't gotten why we all feel the need to pick this apart over and over.

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Customers don't use the word "custy"
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I still haven't gotten why we all feel the need to pick this apart over and over.
    Fair question and I agree that 1-3 have been covered a lot - the reason I included them here is that I still see variations of these theories spouted a lot in pink. Not sure 4-5 have been covered a lot outside of the ladies only areas, but maybe I missed something.

    The answer to your question is this: to provide consolidated, no-nonsense custy feedback regarding what THEY are looking for in a SC.

    Nobody is trying to tell dancers how to do their jobs - we could never understand some of the things you go through - just trying to find a mechanism for custies to download what they like/don't like in one spot. In my business I find client feedback to be very valuable to me and hope that concentrated junkie feedback might be useful to the people that sell services to them.

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    In my business I find client feedback to be very valuable to me and hope that concentrated junkie feedback might be useful to the people that sell services to them.
    I understand where you are coming from but, quite honestly, dancers tend to look to other dancers for help in building their business, not customers. The one thing you are overlooking here is that dancers are interested in getting what they want from you, not what you want from them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I understand where you are coming from but, quite honestly, dancers tend to look to other dancers for help in building their business, not customers. The one thing you are overlooking here is that dancers are interested in getting what they want from you, not what you want from them.
    I actually agree with most of this except for the overlooking part. The unspoken thrust of this was to say that in order to get what she wants ($$$) she is going to have to provide some of what I want (outside of the obvious).

    I watched this play out yet again last night. Lately I have, between travel gigs, been hanging out in a local club with a fun, sexy girl who has me well figured out and I have been tipping her for her time. She also understands the full range of my wants and has been very artfully stringing me along on the other front. The moral is that she understands my motivations and has been getting paid for two months by providing some of what I am looking for while keeping the other in (false) play as a carrot. This train will eventually park in the station, but in the meantime...

    Meanwhile, in the same club there is a ridiculously hot, sexy lanky girl who sits around alone at the bar or in a seat most of the night. Now granted this is a tough crowd in a local joint, but she is just stupid sexy and one of only three non-Russian girls in the place. But she is a wanna dance girl dealing with a local crowd that does not casually part with $$$. Finally three nights ago she came up to me and asked, "Am I ever going to sell you a dance?" and my response was, "Probably not." She didn't even bother to ask why and went back to sulking for the next two hours.

    All the while the girl attending me and one of her friends, a slightly saggy 40 year old stripper attending another guy, were both getting paid.

    Obviously these are one blue's observations and commentary and anyone reading it can take it or leave it, but there it is.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 06-25-2010 at 12:10 PM.

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Rick, your entire post merely confirms my point. Dancers do what they want when they want regardless of what you want.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Yoda, sure they do, but that doesn't mean that I and other patrons shouldn't share with them our likes and dislikes. I actually believe that the smart ones already understand much of what we posted on here, but that could be my eternal optimism. The nice thing about our money is that WE control how and when it gets spent, which obviously means that the girls that meet our needs make the most.

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Customers don't use the word "custy"
    Hell I'm a dancer and I don't. Too close to "crusty" which grosses me out.

    Also rather than make theories etc here's what it boils down to.

    I talk to customer. He talks to me. We hit it off. I ask him for a dance. He pays me for one. I hug him and thank him. We say goodbye.

    It isn't hard. And if they ask for something I don't do, I say no thanks. If they're rude about it, I get them thrown out.

    WTF is so difficult about this?

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Yoda, sure they do, but that doesn't mean that I and other patrons shouldn't share with them our likes and dislikes.
    Rick, you can share anything that you like. What amuses me is that you think that it effects the way they approach getting your money. I admit to being a slightly jaded realist when it comes to what goes on in a strip club. Still, I am a very willing and happy participant.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post

    Meanwhile, in the same club there is a ridiculously hot, sexy lanky girl who sits around alone at the bar or in a seat most of the night. Now granted this is a tough crowd in a local joint, but she is just stupid sexy and one of only three non-Russian girls in the place. But she is a wanna dance girl dealing with a local crowd that does not casually part with $$$. Finally three nights ago she came up to me and asked, "Am I ever going to sell you a dance?" and my response was, "Probably not." She didn't even bother to ask why and went back to sulking for the next two hours.

    I've seen this many times myself, as have we all at some time or other.

    One time while I was at a club with a bunch of co-workers, we all noticed an absolutely gorgeous (but sad looking) dancer sitting all alone at a small table nearby. My co-workers all speculated as to why she chose to sit there alone. Some mentioned that they wouldn't mind a lapdance from her. When I suggested to one that he get up off his butt and go over there and ask her, he said "Fuck that...it's HER job to approach ME!". With that I called him a tool, and headed over to her myself. I asked her if she danced for women, and she answered "of course". She had the warmest smile I had ever seen. After our dances, we talked a bit and I discovered what I had started to suspect - she was painfully shy, and was uncomfortable approaching people. Most people (myself included) assumed that since she was gorgeous, she was probably stuck up and thought that she was better than the rest of us. I kidded her about her picking an awfully tough job to be shy in. I brought her back to our table and everything worked out OK.

    Obviously hers was not a case of laziness or apathy, like so many others appear to be. But I wonder how many dancers are really, really shy?

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    Obviously hers was not a case of laziness or apathy, like so many others appear to be. But I wonder how many dancers are really, really shy?


    That is an interesting question. I have wondered that myself, along with general lack of confidence or insecurity that makes the more interactive approaches difficult.


    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Rick, you can share anything that you like. What amuses me is that you think that it effects the way they approach getting your money.
    Thank you sir. I will add that to my Yodaism knowledge base:

    1. Guys should not want to have sex with strippers;
    2. Bartenders should be our nannies; and
    3. Guys should not tell dancers what they like. *NEW*

    Thank you as always for your continuing contributions.


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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Thank you sir. I will add that to my Yodaism knowledge base:

    1. Guys should not want to have sex with strippers;
    2. Bartenders should be our nannies; and
    3. Guys should not tell dancers what they like. *NEW*

    Thank you as always for your continuing contributions.
    No need to thank me Rick, I'm more than happy to poke holes in your logic...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Thank you sir. I will add that to my Yodaism knowledge base:

    1. Guys should not want to have sex with strippers;
    2. Bartenders should be our nannies; and
    3. Guys should not tell dancers what they like. *NEW*

    Thank you as always for your continuing contributions.
    Interesting. The only one here trying to create SC dogma is you Rick. I'm just here to poke holes in your logic...

    FWIW...
    I date strippers. I want to have sex with them and I sometimes do.
    I don't expect anyone to be my nanny or yours.
    I tell dancers what I like all the time...how else would I expect them to know that I want them to do it again?

    Trying to turn conversational elements into absolutes is just silly Rick. Lighten up! Enjoy strip clubs for what they are and stop wasting so much time trying to fix something that isn't broken...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I understand where you are coming from but, quite honestly, dancers tend to look to other dancers for help in building their business, not customers. The one thing you are overlooking here is that dancers are interested in getting what they want from you, not what you want from them.
    Normally, I agree with what you post Yoda, but I strongly disagree on this point.

    The best sales are done we you care about giving the customer what he wants. Some customers want me cute, ditzy, and brainless. Other customers want to discuss engineering, biology, and etc. with me. Some men like ass and some men like tits. It is in my best interest to know what a customer wants so that I can provide it to him and make money instead of having to run of and try the next guy.

    Some of the most successful dancers I know are near experts on the psychology behind male sexuality.

    Also, not all dancers give the best advice. I've been given purposely wrong information from several seemingly nice dancers before. We're in competition together. There is plenty of reason for the women around us to lie about what a customer likes, but little reason for a customer to lie about what he likes.

    If several seasoned strip club goers tells me that a certain hustling technique does not work on them and/or is not enjoyable for them, then it's something worth noting.

    You may be right. The majority of dancers may not care about their customers. However, some of us do. This has been a very usefully thread. Thank you Rick.

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    ^With how vehement and repetitive you've been in recycling your views as you oh so adroitly "poke holes" in comments made in various threads I clealy mistook your points. Thanks for clarifying

    Some people might feel that your rather non-blue llike views are lap doggish in nature, but I know that they are just a product of higher, more nuanced thinking.

    And thanks for the life advice. As soon as I read it I realized how serious I was taking all of this and sat down to re-evaluate my priorities. You are truly a never-ending fount of...wisdom.

  26. #23
    Senior Member fuzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Do dancers actually care about e-penises?
    If I had a warning sticker, what would it say?

  27. #24
    Senior Member majordon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Newbie here, stepping into the minefield. I just don't quite see where Yoda poked the hole in Rick's logic. Rick never said that what he shares in his post AFFECTS how strippers approach getting his $$$. He's saying (IMHO) that it DOESN'T affect it as much as it should, and girls could do better for themselves if they tried to pick up on feedback from each individual customer.

    All I know is, this is 2010 and you can't do any business transaction from an oil change to buying a burrito without them asking you to take the survey "was it good for you, what could we do better?" Can we believe that this business is so 1-of-a-kind that the best way to make a living at it is to "do what they want when they want regardless of what you want" ?

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    Default Re: Custy Mythology

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    But I wonder how many dancers are really, really shy?
    My ATF is shy. One wouldn't think so if you ever saw her dance routine, but personality-wise she is shy. She often sits alone and hesitates before approaching guys.

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