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Thread: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

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    Veteran Member Amareth's Avatar
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    Default Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Two years ago I left Australia and broke up with my bf of the time to go travelling overseas. After I left we e-mailed each other for a bit but he just became a bit obsessive and creepy and tried emotionally blackmailing me to get back with him when I returned (which because of many reasons I won't go into here I knew that'd never happen). I ended up sending him a very angry and unambiguous message about a year ago making it very clear I never wanted to see him or hear from him again and blocked him from my facebook and all e-mail.

    I got back about 2 months ago and am staying with my sister, since then he's come over 4 times unannounced and won't get the message that I don't want to see him. Only twice have I answered the door (didn't know it was him), last time I told him he was a cunt and didn't want to be friends. None of the times has he been let inside the house.

    He came over tonight and my sister's partner answered the door, his supposed excuse was to give me two letters of mine that went to his address (both two years old, neither important) and a block of chocolate, when I wouldn't come talk to him he said he wanted back a corset he gave me as a birthday present three years ago!

    Seriously! What the fuck! Let go! I don't know how to make it any clearer that I want nothing to do with him! Really starting to freak me out

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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    it sounds like u have been doing what u needed to do (completely ignore him, block him, never email him again, etc.). next step would prolly be stating again he is not to come on ur property and that if he continues u will start making police reports and file a restraining order. pls b safe and aware of ur surroundings wherever u r. he sounds like he could easily become a violent threat.

    if he continues his stalkerish behavior, make police reports. if he still doesnt get it, u may try a restraining order.

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Oh my!!

    This is just creepy.. and Im sorry your dealing with it. I would be very cautious - could he be a dangerous person? If so, please be careful of all you do. I would be very concerned with where Im going and such since who knows - he is stalking you! Since it seems like you're already ignoring him to your fullest. Let your family/whom you live with know not let him in and that he has been stalking you.

    What I would do is have a calm talk with him in person and just in case record it (who knows where the future leads) Telling him you want to be left alone, and he is stalking you which you feel that is endangering your life. Tell him not to go on your property, not to csall you or keep any contact with you at all - if he does you will get the cops or get a restraining order.

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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Make sure you have a big intimidating dude with you if/when you talk to your ex.

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    Featured Member pixierocksonthepole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Sounds exactly like the bullshit my ex is pulling. Won't stop talking to my family about me as if they believe him and everything. And I too told him to leave me alone and that I never wanted to talk to or see him again.

    Some people just don't get it through their thick skulls and it is such a nuisance. It's like it doesn't matter where you go, they seem to find a way to contact you at the dumbest times. These people need to be locked into cages and kept away from anything that could give them the chance to contact anyone.





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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Sorry to hear this is going on babe.

    I agree with all the above...and sadly, getting the Police involved may be the only way this guy will wake up and smell the coffee.

    Meantime, keep yourself safe.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"

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    Senior Member fuzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    All ladies should know this line:

    "Please understand that I'm not comfortable with you contacting me."

    It's simple, direct, non-aggressive, and is really effective on guys who are sane.

    If he persists, tell him again, two or three more times, call the cops.
    If I had a warning sticker, what would it say?

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    Featured Member pixierocksonthepole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzz View Post
    All ladies should know this line:

    "Please understand that I'm not comfortable with you contacting me."

    It's simple, direct, non-aggressive, and is really effective on guys who are sane.

    If he persists, tell him again, two or three more times, call the cops.
    Key words..."guys who are sane"...this guy is clearly not sane anymore, like my ex. Sometimes that settle approach doesn't work and that's when it gets crazy like this. It's difficult. "/





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    Senior Member fuzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    Key words..."guys who are sane"...this guy is clearly not sane anymore, like my ex. Sometimes that settle approach doesn't work and that's when it gets crazy like this. It's difficult. "/
    You'd be surprised at how effective that line can be, even on guys who may seem crazy to you. The key is cutting through all of the emotion and making sure his logical mind gets it. It has to be said with very little emotion, and again, maybe 2 or 3 times.
    If I had a warning sticker, what would it say?

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    Featured Member pixierocksonthepole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzz View Post
    You'd be surprised at how effective that line can be, even on guys who may seem crazy to you. The key is cutting through all of the emotion and making sure his logical mind gets it. It has to be said with very little emotion, and again, maybe 2 or 3 times.
    Problem is that I have said it just like that about 20 times. He still finds a way to contact me even though I make it pretty much impossible for people I have blocked to find me. He really thinks we are going to get back together. Just as the OP is dealing with. There really are some certified nut-jobs out there.





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    Senior Member fuzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    Problem is that I have said it just like that about 20 times. He still finds a way to contact me even though I make it pretty much impossible for people I have blocked to find me. He really thinks we are going to get back together. Just as the OP is dealing with. There really are some certified nut-jobs out there.
    Certainly. Say it 2-3 times, and that should tell you which side of that fence he's on. Misguided guys get the message, crazies get the cops.
    If I had a warning sticker, what would it say?

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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    First, read this book. It's all about dealing with stalkers and other freaks. It was written by Gavin de Becker who is a top advisor to the secret service and has a security firm:

    https://www.gavindebecker.com/index...._gift_of_fear/

    But til you read it:

    Don't answer the door to anybody you don't know. What I think we're missing here is the fact that even though he is not seeing you when he comes to the door he is interacting with your family and that's satisfying to him bc its STILL an interaction with you on some level.

    Make it a policy in the house not to answer the door. Just let him knock away on it til he leaves.

    He might try this a few times but after a while he will give up.

    Also NEVER respond to his phone calls or emails because if like he calls you ten times and you never answer then on the eleventh time you get it and are like "STOP CALLING ME!" he still got to interact with you, if that makes sense. So that teaches him, okay if I call her eleven times she'll get the phone.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Veteran Member Amareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Thanks everyone for your support. He contacted my sister today saying he still wants the corset back! I can't believe this guy, who contacts an ex and says give me back a present I gave you 3 years ago, and most likely so he can give it to his current/next gf. He was told the other night it was in storage at my parents which is a 3 hour drive away so he's saying he'll go there to get it if he has to.

    Quote Originally Posted by VegasPrincess
    Also NEVER respond to his phone calls or emails because if like he calls you ten times and you never answer then on the eleventh time you get it and are like "STOP CALLING ME!" he still got to interact with you, if that makes sense. So that teaches him, okay if I call her eleven times she'll get the phone.
    I learnt this the hard way. At the moment I'm tempted to tell him he's not getting the corset back until he gives me back the things I gave him and half the money for all the electrical appliances and household items we bought together. Doesn't look like he's going to give up the issue.

    Quote Originally Posted by Devinxoxo
    if he continues his stalkerish behavior, make police reports. if he still doesnt get it, u may try a restraining order.
    A friend of mine is a policeman, gonna ask him soon about a restraining order. I don't think there's much chance of him becoming physically violent but would really rather not find out.

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    There was no reason for your sister to give him any information, make sure they stop. Saying it's in storage just gives him more options to continue being a pain, cut off ALL contact and make sure your family does the same.

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    Featured Member pixierocksonthepole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Creepy ex won't let go! Rantish

    Yea, he should've just been told that you no longer had it.





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